IGCSE/GCSE/O & A Level/IB/University Student Forum
Teachers and Students => Debates => Topic started by: Saladin on March 27, 2010, 02:41:21 pm
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I personally am against it. I believe that it was a synthesis of the 2nd world war, when times where hard. I believe that being friends with girls and vice versa is perfectly fine, but I am against the idea of having a relationship. I dont think guys or girls shud be thinking abt entering a relationship until uni or sth. It complicates things, not just for the people involved, but for their parents and friends aswell.
I believe in strong friendships, but nothing with lust in it.
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i actually agree...i mean really...wid all tht stuff happening u really hurt da ppl around u...
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There are two kind of people: mentally strong and weak people.
Desirability of having boyfriends and girlfriends depend on the participant's mental attitude. If he or she thinks 'Its serious. I will marry the girl/boy. No matter what happens'. THEN its definitely wrong and undesirable. Harmful for both.
BUT, if the participants are mentally strong, then its ok. For example if he or she thinks 'its just a temporary get along with the other guy or girl. No plans of the future. Dont really care what happens to the other.' THEN, I see nothing wrong in it. We should let them do as they please. After all, they have their own freedom.
Can't say which class of people is the majority: mentally strong or weak! ;) :) ;D
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Relationships ftw!
Lust...lol.. You don't need to know the girl very well for that.. lol. Go to a party. :O
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@ stylish
do u find having a gf enjoyable?? Some breakups have left people mentally ill. Trust me I know, never experienced, but it happened to my best frnd.
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Life should be easy come easy go. Passion means too many murders
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i like u astar
ur very happy go lucky.
but with a mad intent to be the best at what he/she does
an average guy with a superhuman brain twist....
i like that.
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I too am a bit twisted. The World is going mad and the sane peopleare being mugged and going bankrupt. Too bad. Inject a bit of madness to prosper.
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madness never was or rhymed with my middle name :P
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Has anyone got a middle name that rhymes with madness? It is hard to do the right thing these days.
Somewhere there is a law against whatever you want to do, and some stupid policeman there to stop you.
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well just give the guy in blue a few bucks, and even tony blair will listen 2 u.
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To be honest, I prefer marriage not relationships. If you really love the person then you will want to spend the rest of your life with him/her.
GF/BF is just for fun to some people. I know my friends who are still 15/16/17 and each have around 4-3-5 boyfriends, they break up and date other people. It is just a fantasy that is why it ALWAYS ends up with a break up. Sometimes not a break up, but mostly it happens.
If you are serious you will want to marry the person you love even if you are still 16 :P My aunt got married when she was 14 for example. It is about how responsible the person is.
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Thetypical age of marriage in the UK is now about 30 I think and many women don't have children until they are 40 if at all.
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I completely agree with dude..It's a fad.
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@ stylish
do u find having a gf enjoyable?? Some breakups have left people mentally ill. Trust me I know, never experienced, but it happened to my best frnd.
a.a. Dude!
I don't have any GF (If you mean 'lover') for your information. But I have many girl 'Friends', just friends. And many of them. :P ::)
I know very well the folly of having a bf/gf. In fact, I've seen such cases more than you. Never experienced though! :P
THAT is why I say they are just for a little bit of fun and enjoyment (whether its a bf/gf). NOTHING SERIOUS! ;D :P
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Thetypical age of marriage in the UK is now about 30 I think and many women don't have children until they are 40 if at all.
40 for a child is a bit too late. But 30-35 for marriage and child is perfect. No sooner no later.
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To be honest, I prefer marriage not relationships. If you really love the person then you will want to spend the rest of your life with him/her.
GF/BF is just for fun to some people. I know my friends who are still 15/16/17 and each have around 4-3-5 boyfriends, they break up and date other people. It is just a fantasy that is why it ALWAYS ends up with a break up. Sometimes not a break up, but mostly it happens.
If you are serious you will want to marry the person you love even if you are still 16 :P My aunt got married when she was 14 for example. It is about how responsible the person is.
WELCOME to the debate section!
Where did my last post go???
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oh its in the previous page.
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lol, Thank you stylish! :D
but 30-35 a perfect age for marriage?! :o I'd say 25 is perfect, after someone finished Uni and stuff. Girls nowadays get married at a very old age it is because most guys are not serious and can't afford opening a family.
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sty: ya that is true
sho: its not fun when the person is hurt, and becomes mentally ill
I've seen it happening.
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I know TD =| I am against it. My friend...had a bf, so he left her..she stopped eating, sleeping and kept crying, until she fainted and her family took her to the hospital. I felt sorry for her.
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Or maybe cos everything is so expensive and you are thirty years old before you can afford salt and pepper on your bread dripping.
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I know TD =| I am against it. My friend...had a bf, so he left her..she stopped eating, sleeping and kept crying, until she fainted and her family took her to the hospital. I felt sorry for her.
Disease Name: 'The MAD GUY disease'. ;D
I had a distant family relative infected with the 'MAD GIRL disease' :o ::)
Both are a variant of the 'Mad Cow disease' :P ::)
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Well yes, it is true that everything is being very expensive now, like buying a house or a washing machine. The things a house must have, like a TV, heater, etc...=|
LOL @ stylish, but let me be honest with you, they are now back together. After all the pain he caused to her he couldn't leave her.
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Now that is a happy ending. :D
Did he do anything to reciprocate?
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I totally agree with Shoshu in everything she said..
I mean, having a GF/BF is not only forbidden in many religions, but laso they never work..
Anybody..give one relationship that worked at such a young age ! (15-18)
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@Stylidsh, no I was away in another country when it happened, but another friend of mine did call the guy and told him what happened to his gf.
@Amr fouad...plus that our culture doesn't allow it.
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Okay here's my perspective on the subject
Now if the person is a strong person who knows how to take of the other one in a relationship and will know how to handle the relationship then that's good, because in my case. I wouldn't wanna date a girl that I won't marry lol, I'd rather have a relationship with a girl I know that I'll be married to her in the future 100%
But honestly these days, you see boys and girls going out as bf & gf and it just doesn't make sense anymore, mostly everyone is just doing it for fun and they really don't understand the basics, like they're too young to understand what 'love' actually means. It's something they will learn in the future
My opinion :)
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Now if the person is a strong person who knows how to take of the other one in a relationship and will know how to handle the relationship then that's good, because in my case. I wouldn't wanna date a girl that I won't marry lol, I'd rather have a relationship with a girl I know that I'll be married to her in the future 100%
Yes! This is what I exactly think, I don't mind having a relationship with a guy who I will marry in the future, who is serious about the whole thing and can handle commitment.
Anyone here experienced love? :P
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Yes! This is what I exactly think, I don't mind having a relationship with a guy who I will marry in the future, who is serious about the whole thing and can handle commitment.
Anyone here experienced love? :P
I experienced heart break :P that's where I get experience from XD
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what's wrong with just being freinds with the boy/girl? why do you have to commit yourself to a certain person as if you're married to him/her?
whats the use of a girlfriend? nagging? dont look at other girls? dont speak to other girls? dont do this? dont do that? guys you have all that to look forward to when you get married!
live life now .. have fun .. be friendly with everyone .. i have many freinds who are also girls :o lol :P .. and no i dont think lust! :P
GF/BF is only inspired from the movies you watch .. so stop watching these movies and you'll be fine! :P
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@Psyclax..aww thats awful. well..I hope you learned from your mistake now. I experinced love, but never experinced heart break, NO ONE CAN BREAK MY HEART! *evil laugh* JK :P I don't give the power to anyone, when I choose, I choose right. ;) :P
@Q80BOY...loool...guys also get jealous on their girls and control them in every possible way, so dont blame it on us :P
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Yes! This is what I exactly think, I don't mind having a relationship with a guy who I will marry in the future, who is serious about the whole thing and can handle commitment.
Anyone here experienced love? :P
Nahh :P I'll have to wait a lil longer than others i guess :P
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what's wrong with just being freinds with the boy/girl? why do you have to commit yourself to a certain person as if you're married to him/her?
whats the use of a girlfriend? nagging? dont look at other girls? dont speak to other girls? dont do this? dont do that? guys you have all that to look forward to when you get married!
live life now .. have fun .. be friendly with everyone .. i have many freinds who are also girls :o lol :P .. and no i dont think lust! :P
GF/BF is only inspired from the movies you watch .. so stop watching these movies and you'll be fine! :P
Thats exactly what I think. :)
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what's wrong with just being freinds with the boy/girl? why do you have to commit yourself to a certain person as if you're married to him/her?
whats the use of a girlfriend? nagging? dont look at other girls? dont speak to other girls? dont do this? dont do that? guys you have all that to look forward to when you get married!
live life now .. have fun .. be friendly with everyone .. i have many freinds who are also girls :o lol :P .. and no i dont think lust! :P
GF/BF is only inspired from the movies you watch .. so stop watching these movies and you'll be fine! :P
Yea...this person is exactly right....enjoy ur life now and think abt girls and eveything later.... :D:D
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well its good to c a healthy argument going on
hehe
anyways
i like wat ppl think
sum of my best frnds are girls, but they are simply friends, just like me friends who happen to be guys
srry to hear that psyclax, hope ur heart is patched up. ;)
and shoshu, gd to c u had some experience
And thank u sooooo much q80 for mentioning movies, yes, it does rlly come from movies
infact, the first idea came from the ww2 movies.
anyways, thank u stylish for clearing ur viewpoint
and ppl
its good to c the majority are against it, as we all know it leads to heart breaks and emotional distress.
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I've been in a little bit of everything.. :/
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I've been in a little bit of everything.. :/
That's a part of life, what would life be without a little bit of everything :) Experience is needed to overcome all the wrongs in life and learn from mistakes
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That's a part of life, what would life be without a little bit of everything :) Experience is needed to overcome all the wrongs in life and learn from mistakes
We don't have to experience to learn. We can learn from what we see, from other people's mistakes.
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We don't have to experience to learn. We can learn from what we see, from other people's mistakes.
to experience things is totally different than seeing them
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yes, but would you want to experience death to realise that you want to live as long as you want.
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yes, but would you want to experience death to realise that you want to live as long as you want.
i said "experience is totally different than seeing them " ( i meant in general)
i didnt say that you have to experience everything in life
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LOL
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LOL
did you really do that? :P
@T.Q yeah if that's what you mean then its true, experiencing is very different than seeing things.
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@T.Q yeah if that's what you mean then its true, experiencing is very different than seeing things.
owned. lol.. :D
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Disease Name: 'The MAD GUY disease'. ;D
I had a distant family relative infected with the 'MAD GIRL disease' :o ::)
Both are a variant of the 'Mad Cow disease' :P ::)
:D That's funny too... :D
Spending time reading... No mood to write. :)
Okay here's my perspective on the subject
Now if the person is a strong person who knows how to take of the other one in a relationship and will know how to handle the relationship then that's good, because in my case. I wouldn't wanna date a girl that I won't marry lol, I'd rather have a relationship with a girl I know that I'll be married to her in the future 100%
But honestly these days, you see boys and girls going out as bf & gf and it just doesn't make sense anymore, mostly everyone is just doing it for fun and they really don't understand the basics, like they're too young to understand what 'love' actually means. It's something they will learn in the future
My opinion :)
Realistic. ;)
GF/BF is only inspired from the movies you watch .. so stop watching these movies and you'll be fine! :P
Exactly. :)
That's a part of life, what would life be without a little bit of everything :) Experience is needed to overcome all the wrongs in life and learn from mistakes
Well said. :)
We don't have to experience to learn. We can learn from what we see, from other people's mistakes.
Not the same as having a hard rock break on your head, and watching someone's head breaking.
Wow, Shoshou is well engaged in Debates. ;) ;)
yes, but would you want to experience death to realise that you want to live as long as you want.
Has weight. :)
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There are two kind of people: mentally strong and weak people.
Desirability of having boyfriends and girlfriends depend on the participant's mental attitude. If he or she thinks 'Its serious. I will marry the girl/boy. No matter what happens'. THEN its definitely wrong and undesirable. Harmful for both.
BUT, if the participants are mentally strong, then its ok. For example if he or she thinks 'its just a temporary get along with the other guy or girl. No plans of the future. Dont really care what happens to the other.' THEN, I see nothing wrong in it. We should let them do as they please. After all, they have their own freedom.
Can't say which class of people is the majority: mentally strong or weak! ;) :) ;D
Though this is against my culture, but i think what u said is totally what i think is right for OTHER cultures. If u are just doing it for fun and its okay if u broke up or warever (like u dont really care) than i dont see any prob. However, i have to agree with what mony said about having a relation if ur certain of marriage, but thats in the future like we are talking our age. Ofc i dont agree with 25 years old people havin relations just for fun... but if ur 15,16, warever, then i agree with Stylish.
Anyway, for me i dont really care, and i dont want cuz its just a pain in the A**, not ready for it, have lots to do (trainings, studying),dont have the money to waste on others ;D xD and my parents wouldn't agree so i dont want trouble :P
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yes, but would you want to experience death to realise that you want to live as long as you want.
yes...
nah just kidding ;D 8)
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For fun?
How about re-using tissue paper on which someone else has already sneezed?
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For fun?
How about re-using tissue paper on which someone else has already sneezed?
Ouch!
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Ouch!
Truth is always bitter...
Frankness is truth... It bites. ::)
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Truth is always bitter...
Frankness is truth... It bites. ::)
In order to survive, we cling to all we know and understand. And we label it reality. But knowledge and understanding are ambiguous. That reality could be an illusion.
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In order to survive, we cling to all we know and understand. And we label it reality. But knowledge and understanding are ambiguous. That reality could be an illusion.
:D Ari is progressing on the philosophy ladder...
Personality is defined as being composed of 3 stages:
ID > conceives of an action.
Ego > does the action.
Super-ego > forms an ideal of that action.
Our ID and Ego help to form the truth, reality. Your illusion is a product of the super-ego...
If all 3 are different, reality and illusion too are... :)
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:D Ari is progressing on the philosophy ladder...
I agree wholeheartedly.
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I agree wholeheartedly.
Wait... It remains to be seen whether he borrowed a quote from some film... ;)
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Wait... It remains to be seen whether he borrowed a quote from some film... ;)
Atleast he made an attempt. He is progressing.
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Atleast he made an attempt. He is progressing.
Yeah, I said that.
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i think girls have the ability to control a friendships which might turn into relationships and put boundries so that when she talks with guyz she makes a limit and makes them feel that she's nt goin for any relationship and tht she is just a friend, and vice versa. all i can see now is gf bf is used for showing off and many people admit that ohh yaa its just for fun and it doesnt hurt any1 that it is in fact for fun. relationships at this age distract our studies which must be our goal and y we r at skool, and makes a whooooole mess in families. i say why can't we enjoy our lives as singles now and just leave these stuff for their right time?
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i think girls have the ability to control a friendships which might turn into relationships and put boundries so that when she talks with guyz she makes a limit and makes them feel that she's nt goin for any relationship and tht she is just a friend, and vice versa. all i can see now is gf bf is used for showing off and many people admit that ohh yaa its just for fun and it doesnt hurt any1 that it is in fact for fun. relationships at this age distract our studies which must be our goal and y we r at skool, and makes a whooooole mess in families. i say why can't we enjoy our lives as singles now and just leave these stuff for their right time?
I cud not agree with you more!
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Gf/bf relationships are pure non-sense, especially at such a young age as ours. Thinking that "love" will last forever is just ridiculous. Not to mention it's against ALL religions. On the other hand, people shouldn't even THINK of relationships until they are fully grown, able to protect themselves, and provide adequate support to their family. Other than that, I'm afraid to say it's wild dreams, or just the two having fun, and the latter being forbidden ethically and religiously.
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you said it all!
Our ethics, religion and cultures keep us bound to what's right.
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Glad you agreed.
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For fun?
How about re-using tissue paper on which someone else has already sneezed?
And why do u think girls are tissue paper exactly? I don't know about u but i don't think women are tissue papers ;)
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*cough*
If anyone of you hasn't ever been in a real relationship, your comment(s) are invalid or at least ignored by me. :D
Anyway. . Go on. . :D
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People don't need to touch fire to say it's hot.
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And why do u think girls are tissue paper exactly? I don't know about u but i don't think women are tissue papers ;)
LOOOOOOOOOOOL.
Baaarrre Jokes! :P
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Gf/bf relationships are pure non-sense, especially at such a young age as ours. Thinking that "love" will last forever is just ridiculous. Not to mention it's against ALL religions. On the other hand, people shouldn't even THINK of relationships until they are fully grown, able to protect themselves, and provide adequate support to their family. Other than that, I'm afraid to say it's wild dreams, or just the two having fun, and the latter being forbidden ethically and religiously.
Agree that love is foolish and ridiculous. But no problem if someone has bf/gf for fun only.
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i think girls have the ability to control a friendships which might turn into relationships and put boundries so that when she talks with guyz she makes a limit and makes them feel that she's nt goin for any relationship and tht she is just a friend, and vice versa. all i can see now is gf bf is used for showing off and many people admit that ohh yaa its just for fun and it doesnt hurt any1 that it is in fact for fun. relationships at this age distract our studies which must be our goal and y we r at skool, and makes a whooooole mess in families. i say why can't we enjoy our lives as singles now and just leave these stuff for their right time?
lah, I never said bf/gfs should be taken seriously. Its just a play, which wouldn't distract us from our studies to any notable extent.
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People don't need to touch fire to say it's hot.
haha nice one!!
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Gf/bf relationships are pure non-sense, especially at such a young age as ours. Thinking that "love" will last forever is just ridiculous. Not to mention it's against ALL religions. On the other hand, people shouldn't even THINK of relationships until they are fully grown, able to protect themselves, and provide adequate support to their family. Other than that, I'm afraid to say it's wild dreams, or just the two having fun, and the latter being forbidden ethically and religiously.
Do not generalise. You do not speak for all religions.
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And why do u think girls are tissue paper exactly? I don't know about u but i don't think women are tissue papers ;)
Who said I talked about girls only? ;)
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Don't you worry Ari. I have enough knowledge and backup to speak for all religions. However, on the other hand, people interpreting orders and verses as they wish, that is another issue. Plus it's good that's the ONLY point you're disagreeing with me about.
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Don't you worry Ari. I have enough knowledge and backup to speak for all religions. However, on the other hand, people interpreting orders and verses as they wish, that is another issue. Plus it's good that's the ONLY point you're disagreeing with me about.
What faith do you follow, if you follow one ?
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I do not know what brought this up. But it's Islam that I follow. I am a Muslim.
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I do not know what brought this up. But it's Islam that I follow. I am a Muslim.
I am a proud Muslim too, and I detest this idea of relationships.
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If you talk of religion, why don't you try to talk in general...?
There is no need for any partition... Talk of God, everybody keeps a specific name for Him. Would it not be better ???
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I just responded to his question Alpha. Ari's question.
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It was just my suggestion...
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It was just my suggestion...
I feel he has no fault. He was just answering the question. If he were to talk in General, then he would not be answering the question now would he?
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I feel he has no fault. He was just answering the question. If he were to talk in General, then he would not be answering the question now would he?
No, no... You got me wrong.
I'm not blaming anyone...
I'm just suggesting a more general discussion.
Instead of just talking about a specific religion, talk in general about it.
Simple e.g:
Instead of "Allah / Shiv/ Jesus/... bless you" > God bless you.
That would be more impartial...
That was all I wanted to say...
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No, no... You got me wrong.
I'm not blaming anyone...
I'm just suggesting a more general discussion.
Instead of just talking about a specific religion, talk in general about it.
Simple e.g:
Instead of "Allah / Shiv/ Jesus/... bless you" > God bless you.
That would be more impartial...
That was all I wanted to say...
Of all the places to say that why here? LOL
Anyways, baq to the main topic.
And we will never have a debate on religeon, ever!
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Of all the places to say that why here? LOL
Anyways, baq to the main topic.
And we will never have a debate on religeon, ever!
If not here, then where? :)
Not a debate about religion, but references to religion.
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If not here, then where? :)
Not a debate about religion, but references to religion.
Ok......
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Ok......
K. O. ;) :D
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I do not know what brought this up. But it's Islam that I follow. I am a Muslim.
As a Muslim you follow your own beliefs and I respect that - if you feel GF and BF relationships are wrong I have nothing against you (who am I to question your religion)
BUT when you start talking for the faiths of all the world then you have crossed a line. I may be a Jew, Christian, Buddhist, Hindu etc. as such you do not know/cant know enough about my religion to apply the RULES OF YOUR FAITH to MY (OTHER) FAITH/s.
Thus, speak for yourself and only for yourself - not for the world.
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As I said. I have a strong background of religions that YOU yourself can not imagine. Trust me. Anyway, mysterious and alpha asked us to stop talking about religions. So let's cut it out.
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K. O. ;) :D
180 degree twist, Alpha, eh ? ;)
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As a Muslim you follow your own beliefs and I respect that - if you feel GF and BF relationships are wrong I have nothing against you (who am I to question your religion)
BUT when you start talking for the faiths of all the world then you have crossed a line. I may be a Jew, Christian, Buddhist, Hindu etc. as such you do not know/cant know enough about my religion to apply the RULES OF YOUR FAITH to MY (OTHER) FAITH/s.
Thus, speak for yourself and only for yourself - not for the world.
Sensed this coming... Better talk of God, and avoid giving name...
As I said. I have a strong background of religions that YOU yourself can not imagine. Trust me. Anyway, mysterious and alpha asked us to stop talking about religions. So let's cut it out.
Good, boy. :)
180 degree twist, Alpha, eh ? ;)
He! ;)
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Cut it out guys. You can make reference to 'God' in any term permitted by your religion. Other members should not take any offence for that, they can reference as their religion permits too.
Back to the topic, please.
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Okay, it’s you who decides, after all.
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I don't really see a problem in having a gf/bf..but one has to be a certain age to be able to handle it. 12yr old kids having a relationship is stupid. I won't date a guy I am not sure of getting married to. I don't think it's fun to have a bf/gf at teenage...it's just a fad then.
Once you're of a certain age, you are sure to fall in love with someone and be in such a relationship. I don't want to get married to someone my parents like. I want it to be my choice and they completely agree. But now, I gotta study :P
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ya u hv a point there nid ;)
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Okay, it’s you who decides, after all.
Its because I want members to be free to express their views as they like. ;) Members may feel uncomfortable using 'God'.
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Its because I want members to be free to express their views as they like. ;) Members may feel uncomfortable using 'God'.
An individual's freedom ends there where starts the freedom of others.
And some may feel uncomfortable and hesitant to join, if Muslims, Hindus, Christians, etc, all refer to 'different' Gods.
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I won't date a guy I am not sure of getting married to. I don't think it's fun to have a bf/gf at teenage...it's just a fad then.
The whole concept of bf/gf is itself a fad, to be straightforward.
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Yes, only up to a certain age. When you fall in love with someone at 25, you won't call it absurd. If you're choosing your partner for life, I see nothing wrong in that.
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An individual's freedom ends there where starts the freedom of others.
And some may feel uncomfortable and hesitant to join, if Muslims, Hindus, Christians, etc, all refer to 'different' Gods.
Members are expected to respect other religions in debates... ::) And assuming that, everybody can use alternative terms of 'god' as the respective religion permits. ;)
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Yes, only up to a certain age. When you fall in love with someone at 25, you won't call it absurd. If you're choosing your partner for life, I see nothing wrong in that.
Few people are mentally strong enough to handle it logically. So, its just for fun, nothing more.
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Members are expected to respect other religions in debates... ::) And assuming that, everybody can use alternative terms of 'god' as the respective religion permits. ;)
If you assume...
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I don't really see a problem in having a gf/bf..but one has to be a certain age to be able to handle it. 12yr old kids having a relationship is stupid. I won't date a guy I am not sure of getting married to. I don't think it's fun to have a bf/gf at teenage...it's just a fad then.
Once you're of a certain age, you are sure to fall in love with someone and be in such a relationship. I don't want to get married to someone my parents like. I want it to be my choice and they completely agree. But now, I gotta study :P
Perfectly said.
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Thank you Thank you ;D
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Im against them, totally- In my religion, they are forbidden.
I intend to be in my first ever relationship when Im married- be it at 19, 20, 24, 27, 0r even 30
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@Alpha:
Lah, leave it. Its not a big deal. Just that my policy is not to interfere. If someone feels comfortable saying 'God', its alright. If someone feels comfortable saying the term his or her religion permits, I've no problem with that either.
And its more logical to allow members to express themselves freely than forcing all members to refer to 'God'. ::)
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As I said. I have a strong background of religions that YOU yourself can not imagine. Trust me. Anyway, mysterious and alpha asked us to stop talking about religions. So let's cut it out.
I seriously doubt that.
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Good for you.
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well people have their own choice...........
they can choose whatever they want..........
but for me having a bf/gf is not a big deal if u noe how to handle them dou im personally against it bcoz i never had one.........
WE as a STUDENT shud think that study is our main priority nd the rest come as a sec or third or last.....
LIFE is SHORT so take it EASY................
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well people have their own choice...........
they can choose whatever they want..........
but for me having a bf/gf is not a big deal if u noe how to handle them dou im personally against it bcoz i never had one.........
WE as a STUDENT shud think that study is our main priority nd the rest come as a sec or third or last.....
LIFE is SHORT so take it EASY................
totally agree with u 8)
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well eventually to get married if not arranged that is the only way
i said EVENTUALLY as in uni not school
i have friends who date usually, one day happpy one day sad
a life cycle that never ends
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haven't read any of the previous posts .. bear that in mind
i think that relationships are a good thing. it teaches you to think about others and care for other humans in a way that friendship ( even best friend-ship) doesn't.
also, it is part of the human maturing process. if you've had relationships in your teen years , by the time you're... say, 20, you already know how to deal with and treat the other sex. it's also a great help for people to realise their true self regarding disappointments and happiness, as there are always ups and downs in relationships. this would help in later life
when you get serious problems .
and about the thing with hurting people etc. it's better to learn through mistakes than to avoid the problem altogether
anyway, just my opinion. feel free to reply :)
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one day,, when i get married i'll invite all sf 2 my wedding including astar ;D ;D
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one day,, when i get married i'll invite all sf 2 my wedding including astar ;D ;D
coool lol ;D :D :D :D :D :D
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haven't read any of the previous posts .. bear that in mind
i think that relationships are a good thing. it teaches you to think about others and care for other humans in a way that friendship ( even best friend-ship) doesn't.
also, it is part of the human maturing process. if you've had relationships in your teen years , by the time you're... say, 20, you already know how to deal with and treat the other sex. it's also a great help for people to realise their true self regarding disappointments and happiness, as there are always ups and downs in relationships. this would help in later life
when you get serious problems .
and about the thing with hurting people etc. it's better to learn through mistakes than to avoid the problem altogether
anyway, just my opinion. feel free to reply :)
although people go too far sleep toghether then ditch the baby nd ditch each other
why the trouble
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babies don't happen with every single couple, if they're mature enough and responsible they'd know if they should have a baby or not. and that could go either way - it could get them to marry each other or , as you said, ditch each other.
ditching can happen with married couples as well :/
but i agree with your point, marriage -> babies. not the other way 'round.
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bump
continue please ::)
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ahem..um...LOL :D ;D
that's all that came in my mind when i came to this thread :D
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true relationships are very rare nowadays.
Its not bad to have a simple relationship. Caring and Trust is the main part
but nowadays all i see is ppl having gfs or bfs just for fun.
its just to show others that "SEE i hv a bf/gf!!" lol
and break-ups for vERY VERY simple reasons ...oh god..
if yor gona have a relationship then choose someone right for u, who understands u from the inside.
Otherwise forget about relationships and just be friends.
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ahem..um...LOL :D ;D
that's all that came in my mind when i came to this thread :D
ur mind always goes to the extreme ;D
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ur mind always goes to the extreme ;D
I have to agree. ::)
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true relationships are very rare nowadays.
Its not bad to have a simple relationship. Caring and Trust is the main part
but nowadays all i see is ppl having gfs or bfs just for fun.
its just to show others that "SEE i hv a bf/gf!!" lol
and break-ups for vERY VERY simple reasons ...oh god..
if yor gona have a relationship then choose someone right for u, who understands u from the inside.
Otherwise forget about relationships and just be friends.
People make mistakes sadly. But one must learn from them.
Like I said before, nowadays it's just a fad.
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i read the entire thrad nd im so happy to c tht so many ppl r against relationships it ruly is a fad
i had one, nd both of us were damn serius nd at the end wen we were plannin to take it to the next level we broke up
so it srsly is a waste of time money nd everything else love doesnt exist in this world anymore u have a very rare possiblity to find it only after marriage hopefully im right
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i read the entire thrad nd im so happy to c tht so many ppl r against relationships it ruly is a fad
i had one, nd both of us were damn serius nd at the end wen we were plannin to take it to the next level we broke up
so it srsly is a waste of time money nd everything else love doesnt exist in this world anymore u have a very rare possiblity to find it only after marriage hopefully im right
Love exists, just not everywhere ;)
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Love exists, just not everywhere ;)
Love = rubbish
Love = Heart being broken
Love = Regret
Love = Humiliation
Those are the disadvantages. =P
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I honestly dislike it when people start talking about how love is bad.
Love is the purest thing a person can have with his Lord.
Love is the purest thing a person can have with his parents.
Love is the purest thing a person can have with his children.
And Love is the purest and most noble thing a man can have with a woman.
Generalizing love is bad just because you had a failed/bad affair is not the solution.
A touch of a hand with your lover can solve everything, just a smile can make your world look beautiful.
The thing is, as mentioned before, everything has its time. You can't jump before you walk.
Life is a series of steps, more of a bomb. If you this-arm any of it's wires in its non -logical sequence, your life will literally explode.
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I honestly dislike it when people start talking about how love is bad.
Love is the purest thing a person can have with his Lord.
Love is the purest thing a person can have with his parents.
Love is the purest thing a person can have with his children.
And Love is the purest and most noble thing a man can have with a woman.
Generalizing love is bad just because you had a failed/bad affair is not the solution.
A touch of a hand with your lover can solve everything, just a smile can make your world look beautiful.
The thing is, as mentioned before, everything has its time. You can't jump before you walk.
Life is a series of steps, more of a bomb. If you this-arm any of it's wires in its non -logical sequence, your life will literally explode.
First of all, I was talking about the love in relationships not the general love.
Secondly, I said clearly those were the disadvantages. I know everything have advantages, like love.
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Pertaining to this topic which deals with the mortal love(gf/bf relationships) people have today, it can't even be classified as love...point 1.
Love is immortal...Happens once and lasts for a lifetime. The love that fades with time is not love.
Love is pure and definitely not selfish. It is about loving someone selflessly without expecting anything in return. Do you see that in today's youth?
I fail to understand why people lie about love..
A few days affair was never love. It was lust.
In a relationship, sometimes, it so happens that only one of them loves the other unconditionally and believes that their partner's love is genuine(but it's a lie) When things go wrong, the person goes through severe pain...It is traumatic.
Today, people concoct a story of their love for someone, it is painful in the long run.
It is my earnest request to anyone reading this to never deceive a person and lie to them about love. No one should go through the trauma.No one is worth that anguish.
Whenever you say you love someone, mean it, or just don't say it. This is even when you are saying it to your friends or family...anyone. Say it only and only when you mean it.
All those in relationships, who think it's fun, re-think....it may not be for the other.
That abt it i guess ::) :P
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I have to agree. ::)
both of u..what du mean???
i jst laughd it off cz well it is ajoke to see the way ppl get into relationships and blah WTV..i don't care!
thats y-my post was like that..what's that got to do with extremes???
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Love GOD, He will never hurt.
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Love GOD, he will never hurt.
coolest thing to say...its the ultimate truth ;)
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infact..+rep for saying that :D
i'm repping a lot these days...haha!
but...sadly..i have to wait 2 hrs..UGH!
but i'll keep my word :D
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coolest thing to say...its the ultimate truth ;)
Yes... The ultimate Truth. :)
+rep too.
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exactly Alpha :)
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exactly Alpha :)
:) No word.
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Love GOD, He will never hurt.
You understood this SO LATE!!! :P
That;s what I've been telling everybody since when I don't know. Love ANYTHING but another guy or girl.
Love = rubbish
Love = Heart being broken
Love = Regret
Love = Humiliation
Those are the disadvantages. =P
I agree. My other post in another debate explains this very well:::
Look, I am NOT against love. I do not despise love, as you seem to think. In fact, I myself love many things. For example, money, wealth and business, house, family etc etc etc. Love is a strong emotion indeed. This strong emotion IS necessary for someone to achieve something.
BUT and a BIG BUT, when this love becomes for something which is NOT beneficial, this is very illogical, foolish and something to be despised of. A very good example of this is the love for another girl/guy. My point is, love for money and business is understandable and plausible, since they are beneficial to you. But love for another girl/guy? Its not. What will you get by loving that guy/girl? NOTHING. As I said, love is a strong emotion. And due to this very reason, love for another guy/girl will CONSUME the person concerned, that too, without any personal benefit for the person. He/she will always think about his/her lover, neglecting his/her studies, business or work in case of a grown up man, and other very important tasks.
Got it now?
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You understood this SO LATE!!! :P
That;s what I've been telling everybody since when I don't know. Love ANYTHING but another guy or girl.
Oh... well... but that doesn't mean I hate anyone.
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Borakk, sorry to say, loving materialistic things is not love :) You got to understand the meaning of Love first :)
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Borakk, sorry to say, loving materialistic things is not love :) You got to understand the meaning of Love first :)
Even God is not material...
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Even God is not material...
Yeah.
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Oh... well... but that doesn't mean I hate anyone.
Love is illogical and cannot be purposefully explained. "Hate" is not an antonym of it. ;)
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Love is illogical and cannot be purposefully explained. "Hate" is not an antonym of it. ;)
Believing in God is also illogical, but ironically, it is the strongest belief of men. :)
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Believing in God is also illogical, but ironically, it is the strongest belief of men. :)
There are SO many proofs of God. The Quran is only one: It clearly states many scientific truths which were not at all known to people the time it was given to us by God. Not one verse in the quran was proven wrong till now, be it by scientific, philosophical or any other means. A religious book will help to explain this well and better than I explained here. But I explained the foundation.
This is the strongest proof of God, that is his holy book. So, the belief of God is perfectly logical.
Unlike believing in love.
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There are SO many proofs of God. The Quran is only one: It clearly states many scientific truths which were not at all known to people the time it was given to us by God. Not one verse in the quran was proven wrong till now, be it by scientific, philosophical or any other means. A religious book will help to explain this well and better than I explained here. But I explained the foundation.
This is the strongest proof of God, that is his holy book. So, the belief of God is perfectly logical.
Unlike believing in love.
I'll repeat what I said too:
There is ONE proof of love, that it is not illogical too, which is sufficient : Love of God.
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I'll repeat what I said too:
There is ONE proof of love, that it is not illogical too, which is sufficient : Love of God.
You got me wrong. I believe in love too, love for anything material, including God. (Now don't say god is not material, I already proved that he exists and is our creator, and is thus material).
What I meant to say that I do not believe in love for another guy or girl. Again, this post should help to explain why::
Look, I am NOT against love. I do not despise love, as you seem to think. In fact, I myself love many things. For example, money, wealth and business, house, family etc etc etc. Love is a strong emotion indeed. This strong emotion IS necessary for someone to achieve something.
BUT and a BIG BUT, when this love becomes for something which is NOT beneficial, this is very illogical, foolish and something to be despised of. A very good example of this is the love for another girl/guy. My point is, love for money and business is understandable and plausible, since they are beneficial to you. But love for another girl/guy? Its not. What will you get by loving that guy/girl? NOTHING. As I said, love is a strong emotion. And due to this very reason, love for another guy/girl will CONSUME the person concerned, that too, without any personal benefit for the person. He/she will always think about his/her lover, neglecting his/her studies, business or work in case of a grown up man, and other very important tasks.
Got it now?
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You got me wrong. I believe in love too, love for anything material, including God. (Now don't say god is not material, I already proved that he exists and is our creator, and is thus material).
What I meant to say that I do not believe in love for another guy or girl. Again, this post should help to explain why::
Look, I am NOT against love. I do not despise love, as you seem to think. In fact, I myself love many things. For example, money, wealth and business, house, family etc etc etc. Love is a strong emotion indeed. This strong emotion IS necessary for someone to achieve something.
BUT and a BIG BUT, when this love becomes for something which is NOT beneficial, this is very illogical, foolish and something to be despised of. A very good example of this is the love for another girl/guy. My point is, love for money and business is understandable and plausible, since they are beneficial to you. But love for another girl/guy? Its not. What will you get by loving that guy/girl? NOTHING. As I said, love is a strong emotion. And due to this very reason, love for another guy/girl will CONSUME the person concerned, that too, without any personal benefit for the person. He/she will always think about his/her lover, neglecting his/her studies, business or work in case of a grown up man, and other very important tasks.
Got it now?
Everything that is not spiritual is material.
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I beg to differ borakk...
Proof of God is not in a book. Nope. Who wrote the book? God? Definite no. We believe the message in the book was transferred by God to Humans...we do not know for sure...We believe. It is our belief. Many things cannot be explained scientifically, which may give us the reason to believe in the existence of a superior being...but who knows?
I've always questioned our existence, where we came from?, why are we here?, what is our duty ? I've found answers, some similar in different religious books. But it's a book...passed on...from generation to generation...you think people didn't modify it? People look for benefits no? The book written centuries ago is not the perfect transcript of God's message...It could've been modified...we came much later
I know..I can sense that there is some one/thing that controls everything...we call it God...what is God? I don't know....but it is the one ultimate truth...we may believe..we may not.
But we experience love... I know of it. There is no reason why one shouldn't believe in love. Love is not a means of achievement, it is an emotion- pure and divine :)
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Everything that is not spiritual is material.
I already said so why believing in God is materialistic, or in other words, realistic:
There are SO many proofs of God. The Quran is only one: It clearly states many scientific truths which were not at all known to people the time it was given to us by God. Not one verse in the quran was proven wrong till now, be it by scientific, philosophical or any other means. A religious book will help to explain this well and better than I explained here. But I explained the foundation.
This is the strongest proof of God, that is his holy book. So, the belief of God is perfectly logical.
Unlike believing in love.
I don't know how believing in love between guys and girls can be materialistic. So, it is baseless.
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I beg to differ borakk...
Proof of God is not in a book. Nope. Who wrote the book? God? Definite no. We believe the message in the book was transferred by God to Humans...we do not know for sure...We believe. It is our belief. Many things cannot be explained scientifically, which may give us the reason to believe in the existence of a superior being...but who knows?
I've always questioned our existence, where we came from?, why are we here?, what is our duty ? I've found answers, some similar in different religious books. But it's a book...passed on...from generation to generation...you think people didn't modify it? People look for benefits no? The book written centuries ago is not the perfect transcript of God's message...It could've been modified...we came much later
I know..I can sense that there is some one/thing that controls everything...we call it God...what is God? I don't know....but it is the one ultimate truth...we may believe..we may not.
But we experience love... I know of it. There is no reason why one shouldn't believe in love. Love is not a means of achievement, it is an emotion- pure and divine :)
I don;t want to go in a discussion about God since it has the potential of turning into a religious debate. ;)
BUT, you misunderstood me! I DO believe in love.
Please read this post well, to know in what kind of love I believe, and why so: ::)
Look, I am NOT against love. I do not despise love, as you seem to think. In fact, I myself love many things. For example, money, wealth and business, house, family etc etc etc. Love is a strong emotion indeed. This strong emotion IS necessary for someone to achieve something.
BUT and a BIG BUT, when this love becomes for something which is NOT beneficial, this is very illogical, foolish and something to be despised of. A very good example of this is the love for another girl/guy. My point is, love for money and business is understandable and plausible, since they are beneficial to you. But love for another girl/guy? Its not. What will you get by loving that guy/girl? NOTHING. As I said, love is a strong emotion. And due to this very reason, love for another guy/girl will CONSUME the person concerned, that too, without any personal benefit for the person. He/she will always think about his/her lover, neglecting his/her studies, business or work in case of a grown up man, and other very important tasks.
Got it now?
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I already said so why believing in God is materialistic, or in other words, realistic:
I don't know how believing in love between guys and girls can be materialistic. So, it is baseless.
God is a material? What kind of? How can you be so sure?
Love is not a material again...it's an emotion.
Why so bias? If you say love is materialistic and baseless, so is fear, pain and happiness.
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I don;t want to go in a discussion about God since it has the potential of turning into a religious debate. ;)
BUT, you misunderstood me! I DO believe in love.
Please read this post well, to know in what kind of love I believe, and why so: ::)
Look, I am NOT against love. I do not despise love, as you seem to think. In fact, I myself love many things. For example, money, wealth and business, house, family etc etc etc. Love is a strong emotion indeed. This strong emotion IS necessary for someone to achieve something.
BUT and a BIG BUT, when this love becomes for something which is NOT beneficial, this is very illogical, foolish and something to be despised of. A very good example of this is the love for another girl/guy. My point is, love for money and business is understandable and plausible, since they are beneficial to you. But love for another girl/guy? Its not. What will you get by loving that guy/girl? NOTHING. As I said, love is a strong emotion. And due to this very reason, love for another guy/girl will CONSUME the person concerned, that too, without any personal benefit for the person. He/she will always think about his/her lover, neglecting his/her studies, business or work in case of a grown up man, and other very important tasks.
Got it now?
I didn't mention religion. God has no religion.
You believe in love? You just said love is baseless ::)
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God is a material? What kind of? How can you be so sure?
Love is not a material again...it's an emotion.
Why so bias? If you say love is materialistic and baseless, so is fear, pain and happiness.
I didn't mention religion. God has no religion.
You believe in love? You just said love is baseless
Love for another guy/girl is baseless*****
I said, believing in God is materialistic, because there are so many proofs that so as not to arise a slightest doubt. Now please, no religious debate...
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Love for another guy/girl is baseless*****
I said, believing in God is materialistic, because there are so many proofs that so as not to arise a slightest doubt. Now please, no religious debate...
Love is love.
God is different from religion....if you wish to refrain from talking abt it, it's fine....
Proof of existence of something that cannot be visualized is hypothetical
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Love is love.
See, you failed to even define it. :P
Love exists, between money, business, parents, family, possessions and many other things. What I'm trying to say is that love for another guy or girl is not beneficial at all and we should refrain from it as much as possible.
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See, you failed to even define it. :P
Love exists, between money, business, parents, family, possessions and many other things. What I'm trying to say is that love for another guy or girl is not beneficial at all and we should refrain from it as much as possible.
Love is an emotion....difficult to comprehend
No...that is not love ::) I am tired ::)
Love is something that lasts forever..
ohk...let me give you an example. You love money? You love your laptop? You love your house? Don't you keep changing them?
Love doesn't change every few months like your car, house and laptop ::)
The woman/man you love becomes a part of your family...Can I say that?
Love is not selfish...you don't look for perks in love borakk... ::) You derive a lot more from loving....loving for REAL.
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Love is an emotion....difficult to comprehend
No...that is not love ::) I am tired ::)
Love is something that lasts forever..
ohk...let me give you an example. You love money? You love your laptop? You love your house? Don't you keep changing them?
Love doesn't change every few months like your car, house and laptop ::)
The woman/man you love becomes a part of your family...Can I say that?
Love is not selfish...you don't look for perks in love borakk... ::) You derive a lot more from loving....loving for REAL.
I cannot understand why love cannot change. It definitely can and should, if it is logical according to the circumstances.
Ok. Let ME give you an example:
I fail to understand why people lie about love..
A few days affair was never love. It was lust.
In a relationship, sometimes, it so happens that only one of them loves the other unconditionally and believes that their partner's love is genuine(but it's a lie) When things go wrong, the person goes through severe pain...It is traumatic.
Today, people concoct a story of their love for someone, it is painful in the long run.
It is my earnest request to anyone reading this to never deceive a person and lie to them about love. No one should go through the trauma.No one is worth that anguish.
Whenever you say you love someone, mean it, or just don't say it. This is even when you are saying it to your friends or family...anyone. Say it only and only when you mean it.
All those in relationships, who think it's fun, re-think....it may not be for the other.
You just quoted ONE of the many disadvantages.
Now ask yourself - Wouldn't it be better to NOT fall in this love for any other guy/girl in the first place?
Love has no real/monetary benefit, only risks. The risk:potential reward ratio is too high to even consider taking the risk.
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I cannot understand why love cannot change.
Ok. Let ME give you an example:
You just quoted ONE of the many disadvantages.
Now ask yourself - Wouldn't it be better to NOT fall in this love for any other guy/girl in the first place?
Love has no real/monetary benefit, only risks. The risk:potential reward ratio is too high to even consider taking the risk.
ohk...wait...I mentioned earlier...the relationships today are not on the basis on genuine love...and hence one should refrain from thinking abt it till the time comes. But at some time or the other, your hormones overwhelm you....and what will you do then....go into a self imposed exile? :P
Love gives you a sense of satisfaction, it makes you feel better.
ahan...risks? When you try something new, you risk failure...when you don't, you ensure it.
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ahan...risks? When you try something new, you risk failure...when you don't, you ensure it.
When I try something new, it is the potential gain which drives me to. I do not intend to take miscalculated risks where I don't have any potential benefit.
ohk...wait...I mentioned earlier...the relationships today are not on the basis on genuine love...and hence one should refrain from thinking abt it till the time comes. But at some time or the other, your hormones overwhelm you....and what will you do then....go into a self imposed exile?
Hormones?? Everybody must train themselves, with military precision, to channel their "hormones" into other uses :P . Or in other words, use their "hormones" in a useful and beneficial way, which is definitely not love for another guy/girl.
And this link between hormones and love, as you illustrated, proves that love is nothing but lust, since "hormones" have a sexual implication.
Love gives you a sense of satisfaction, it makes you feel better.
How can it satisfy you when you don't gain anything? ::)
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Pertaining to this topic which deals with the mortal love(gf/bf relationships) people have today, it can't even be classified as love...point 1.
Love is immortal...Happens once and lasts for a lifetime. The love that fades with time is not love.
Love is pure and definitely not selfish. It is about loving someone selflessly without expecting anything in return. Do you see that in today's youth?
I fail to understand why people lie about love..
A few days affair was never love. It was lust.
In a relationship, sometimes, it so happens that only one of them loves the other unconditionally and believes that their partner's love is genuine(but it's a lie) When things go wrong, the person goes through severe pain...It is traumatic.
Today, people concoct a story of their love for someone, it is painful in the long run.
It is my earnest request to anyone reading this to never deceive a person and lie to them about love. No one should go through the trauma.No one is worth that anguish.
Whenever you say you love someone, mean it, or just don't say it. This is even when you are saying it to your friends or family...anyone. Say it only and only when you mean it.
All those in relationships, who think it's fun, re-think....it may not be for the other.
That abt it i guess ::) :P
i so totally agree wid u
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When I try something new, it is the potential gain which drives me to. I do not intend to take miscalculated risks where I don't have any potential benefit.
If you're certain abt the outcome, you're not risking ::)
Hormones?? Everybody must train themselves, with military precision, to channel their "hormones" into other uses :P . Or in other words, use their "hormones" in a useful and beneficial way, which is definitely not love for another guy/girl.
And this link between hormones and love, as you illustrated, proves that love is nothing but lust, since "hormones" have a sexual implication.
Learn some biology mate ::) Sorry if that was blunt ::)
How can it satisfy you when you don't gain anything? ::)
Gain=satisfaction. ;)
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i so totally agree wid u
uhum...glad you do
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Now when I said you should channel your 'hormones' to other uses, I meant you should not spend hours 'thinking about your lover' which you meant to say when you used the word 'hormones'.
AND that everybody should learn to control themselves.
Learn to understand what the other person means to say. ::) Sorry if that was blunt. ;)
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Now when I said you should channel your 'hormones' to other uses, I meant you should not spend hours 'thinking about your lover' which you meant to say when you used the word 'hormones'.
AND that everybody should learn to control themselves.
Learn to understand what the other person means to say. ::) Sorry if that was blunt. ;)
*ahem* Don't try to copy...doesn't make you look cool :P
ohk...channeling hormones..? What do you think you are? A hypnotist? ::) :P Ohkay let me tell you, some people can do that..control emotions I mean, you need a lot of focus....it's a different thing...I know people who can control not only their emotions but also those of others...you know there are things science can't explain ;)
Now we are ordinary humans..let's face the fact, I can't use mind power to heal my wounds or not love... and I doubt if you can.
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Well, thank God, I can use my mind very well to remove any useless emotion, such as love and any other negative emotions. :)
Good night. See ya. :)
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Well, thank God, I can use my mind very well to remove any useless emotion, such as love and any other negative emotions. :)
Good night. See ya. :)
Oh my! The monk ! ::) jk jk
Good Night :)
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Why do Men/women find Relationships to interesting to discuss.WHY. -_-
I believe Girl friends are made by God to satisfy the carnal pleasures of Men.Period.
Its only your wife that you find your true love in.be it arranged or love marriage.
But females. -_-
What do they think
Someone Messaged me in 8th grade that if you break my heart, i would commit suicide. AT THE AGE OF 16. o_o
Why. Our very own Ms Depressed (nid) can elaborate on this.
or even better yet bring so.A here.
I would absolutely love to hear her opinion :@.
(http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs217.snc1/8430_1247009613262_1170084800_734686_4445456_n.jpg)
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You have the wrong notion. ::) Don't call me that you nitwit :P I ain't effin depressed :P
You can read my opinion in the previous posts...I ain't repeating ::)
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I ain't effin depressed :P
That's how everyone ought to deal with love. Nobody should take it seriously. Its just a one time thing and can change with time. ;)
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That's how everyone ought to deal with love. Nobody should take it seriously. Its just a one time thing and can change with time. ;)
Jeeze! There's nothing wrong with me ::)
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Jeeze! There's nothing wrong with me ::)
Thats the attitude! ;)
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I love my family and friends...nothing more. It hurts sometimes when your friends or family members ignore you...that's abt it. I won't love another guy with an idea of taking it to the next level until I'm independent, responsible and close to an age appropriate for marriage. I have a lot of other things to do now.
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Thats the attitude! ;)
Thanks? :P
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I won't love another guy with an idea of taking it to the next level until I'm independent, responsible and close to an age appropriate for marriage. I have a lot of other things to do now.
FINALLY, you got it. Good. :P
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Thanks? :P
Welcome. :P
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FINALLY, you got it. Good. :P
Everyone is different...That is what I'm trying to say. There's no age to love. Some people find true love when they're 14. Yeah I know of a couple who loved each other since the age of 14...they're married with 2 kids now. So basically, it depends from person to person....we cannot say love doesn't happen...it does. It happens to some a lil earlier than it happens the others. :)
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Everyone is different...That is what I'm trying to say. There's no age to love. Some people find true love when they're 14. Yeah I know of a couple who loved each other since the age of 14...they're married with 2 kids now. So basically, it depends from person to person....we cannot say love doesn't happen...it does. It happens to some a lil earlier than it happens the others. :)
Whatever, I think its a process of creating unnecessary complexities in your life.
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Whatever, I think its a process of creating unnecessary complexities in your life.
Your thoughts are for you to comply with :)
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Your thoughts are for you to comply with :)
By the way, I like your signature. It looks like the tail of the dark prince!
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By the way, I like your signature. It looks like the tail of the dark prince!
tail? :P Haha....thanks :D
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hey SE...i want my answer...look thru all the posts...there's one of your to which i quoted!!!! :P
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hey SE...i want my answer...look thru all the posts...there's one of your to which i quoted!!!! :P
Link? :P
I cant find it.
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Why do Men/women find Relationships to interesting to discuss.WHY. -_-
I believe Girl friends are made by God to satisfy the carnal pleasures of Men.Period.
Its only your wife that you find your true love in.be it arranged or love marriage.
But females. -_-
What do they think
Someone Messaged me in 8th grade that if you break my heart, i would commit suicide. AT THE AGE OF 16. o_o
Why. Our very own Ms Depressed (nid) can elaborate on this.
or even better yet bring so.A here.
I would absolutely love to hear her opinion :@.
(http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs217.snc1/8430_1247009613262_1170084800_734686_4445456_n.jpg)
The only meaningful one.
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The only meaningful one.
and master returns.
dude Pm me. If you have time. I have some important sh*t to tell you
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I don;t want to go in a discussion about God since it has the potential of turning into a religious debate. ;)
BUT, you misunderstood me! I DO believe in love.
Please read this post well, to know in what kind of love I believe, and why so: ::)
Look, I am NOT against love. I do not despise love, as you seem to think. In fact, I myself love many things. For example, money, wealth and business, house, family etc etc etc. Love is a strong emotion indeed. This strong emotion IS necessary for someone to achieve something.
BUT and a BIG BUT, when this love becomes for something which is NOT beneficial, this is very illogical, foolish and something to be despised of. A very good example of this is the love for another girl/guy. My point is, love for money and business is understandable and plausible, since they are beneficial to you. But love for another girl/guy? Its not. What will you get by loving that guy/girl? NOTHING. As I said, love is a strong emotion. And due to this very reason, love for another guy/girl will CONSUME the person concerned, that too, without any personal benefit for the person. He/she will always think about his/her lover, neglecting his/her studies, business or work in case of a grown up man, and other very important tasks.
Got it now?
Love for another guy/girl is baseless*****
I said, believing in God is materialistic, because there are so many proofs that so as not to arise a slightest doubt. Now please, no religious debate...
See, you failed to even define it. :P
Love exists, between money, business, parents, family, possessions and many other things. What I'm trying to say is that love for another guy or girl is not beneficial at all and we should refrain from it as much as possible.
Your perception might be wrong... but your way is not. Right now is better to avoid.
Love is great, it is REAL. Too great for us to talk about it with our small ages. Love DOES exist, it's we who try to be more mature than our age permits us to be.
Between a male who is a man and a female who is a woman, the definitions society assigns to them, love is the most irreplaceable of possessions.
Love IS, but not for us. At least, not now.
Later, you talk. :P
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I honestly dislike it when people start talking about how love is bad.
Love is the purest thing a person can have with his Lord.
Love is the purest thing a person can have with his parents.
Love is the purest thing a person can have with his children.
And Love is the purest and most noble thing a man can have with a woman.
Generalizing love is bad just because you had a failed/bad affair is not the solution.
A touch of a hand with your lover can solve everything, just a smile can make your world look beautiful.
The thing is, as mentioned before, everything has its time. You can't jump before you walk.
Life is a series of steps, more of a bomb. If you this-arm any of it's wires in its non -logical sequence, your life will literally explode.
HIS was meaningful. +rep
When my waiting time will be over, lol.
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@SE- https://studentforums.biz/debates/girlfriend-and-boyfriend-relationships/msg308977/#msg308977 >:( :P
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Your perception might be wrong... but your way is not. Right now is better to avoid.
I DO realize my perception may be wrong. But by simple logic and observation, I find my perception correct and yours to be vague. I respect everyone's opinion and views and if it is logical I will accept it too. but this is not the case over here.
Love is great, it is REAL. Too great for us to talk about it with our small ages. Love DOES exist, it's we who try to be more mature than our age permits us to be.
Between a male who is a man and a female who is a woman, the definitions society assigns to them, love is the most irreplaceable of possessions.
HIS was meaningful. +rep
When my waiting time will be over, lol.
Okay. ::) Do YOU realize that your perception (or way) may be wrong? Or do you have any evidence/observation to prove your statements to be correct/beneficial to man and woman?
Love does exist. between money, cars, houses shares etc. It even exists between men and women. What I'm saying is that love between men and women is not logical, and I explained this before. Just this. I do not intend to fall in love with any girl/woman for this reason.
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both of u..what du mean???
i jst laughd it off cz well it is ajoke to see the way ppl get into relationships and blah WTV..i don't care!
thats y-my post was like that..what's that got to do with extremes???
Okay okay. You are not at all at extreme. ::)
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There is a difference between a belief and notion.
Let us try to respect what others ardently but not logically believe. That way we stay out of conflict.
Alpha and stylish if you would like to debate this, please, as a friend I am requesting you to do so between yourselves. :)
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There is a difference between a belief and notion.
Let us try to respect what others ardently but not logically believe. That way we stay out of conflict.
Alpha and stylish if you would like to debate this, please, as a friend I am requesting you to do so between yourselves. :)
Dude... We're all friends here. :)
And I respect his view. In his own way, he's not wrong.
But I'm not either.
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I respect everyone's opinion and views and if it is logical I will accept it too.
The truth is, I used to be very reliant on logic, and often, in addition to belief, it makes the strongest ideal.
But, logic alone is not enough to be something that some has to adhere to. Perhaps like me, you will realise how flawed logic is.
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Dude... We're all friends here. :)
And I respect his view. In his own way, he's not wrong.
But I'm not either.
Money, wealth and the whole capitalistic system is something that he believes in. It runs through his veins to do so, and much logic is put into fighting the system to him, it is the best in the world. So I believe it is best, to let him believe what he wants to, to him it is not a view, it is an ideal. And something that gives him strength as well as a reason to aspire. I think it is best, just to respect and not debate against it.
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Money, wealth and the whole capitalistic system is something that he believes in. It runs through his veins to do so, and much logic is put into fighting the system to him, it is the best in the world. So I believe it is best, to let him believe what he wants to, to him it is not a view, it is an ideal. And something that gives him strength as well as a reason to aspire. I think it is best, just to respect and not debate against it.
Here, you're wrong. Slightly.
I know him slightly better.
There are things that matter more, e.g. his parents.
Debating is just for the sake of debating.
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I hope stylish is not offended by any of this. I will remove all posts that are, if you dislike any stylish. I apologize in advance.
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I hope stylish is not offended by any of this. I will remove all posts that are, if you dislike any stylish. I apologize in advance.
Come on... Why be afraid of offending when you used the correct words expressed in the correct way?
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Money, wealth and the whole capitalistic system is something that he believes in. It runs through his veins to do so, and much logic is put into fighting the system to him, it is the best in the world. So I believe it is best, to let him believe what he wants to, to him it is not a view, it is an ideal. And something that gives him strength as well as a reason to aspire. I think it is best, just to respect and not debate against it.
Its okay. If you do not want us to debate about this issue here, we will refrain from doing so. Alpha, if you want to continue, please PM me.
No I've not been offended at all. :)
I'm leaving for today. Goodbye!
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Its okay. If you do not want us to debate about this issue here, we will refrain from doing so. Alpha, if you want to continue, please PM me.
No I've not been offended at all. :)
I'm leaving for today. Goodbye!
And continue this on PM? No, thanks. ;D
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Thanks. :P
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Pleasure is mine. :P
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Pleasure has always, and is mine. :P
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Ouf, take it.-_-
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Stylish brings logic into relationship.
Okay fine.
Logic dictates
1 God doesnt exist
2- A man walking on water cannot be ever supported by results.
3- Moses never did those stuff written in Old testament.It was all borrowed from Syrian mythology.
4- There can never be order from chaos.
5-The concept that whatever complex life exists, it must have been “created” is ridiculous.We have lots of Human Genome Projects, we can see in color and keep erections for 4+ hours but explaining the unexplainable using Holy Books is as real as Anubis or Zeus.
6-You have used the definition of Logic in wrong sense.Emotion or love provides spark of interest in another person.Your passion or moods are all influenced by Emotions like Love or hatred but logic helps us keep our feet on the ground, makes us see things in the long run.It does not finish love, it just keeps your head out of the clouds.
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LOL> OWNED
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Logic dictates
1 God doesnt exist
However logic doesn't say god doesn't exist. It just says god has no use in the present universe.
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However logic doesn't say god doesn't exist. It just says god has no use in the present universe.
Point.
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It just says god has no use in the present universe.
Either way, that statement that you put in is wrong.
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Either way, that statement that you put in is wrong.
Huh?
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I do believe in logic. But I also realize that logic can be used to prove ANYTHING. There is a matter of choosing the best one for me. And the others should be ignored and left alone as it is.
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I do believe in logic. But I also realize that logic can be used to prove ANYTHING. There is a matter of choosing the best one for me. And the others should be ignored and left alone as it is.
ditto
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real HOT in here ::)
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I am drinking icy cool lacchi now. :P
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Well, okay, let's find the 'logic' behind love for some...
Illogically, love is an emotion, undefined. Logically, it's a telepathic contract by two individuals to stay together, as far as they can, as long as they can. However solitary you might love to be, Man is a social animal. Living alone kills him. And logically, it's much much much better to have the lifelong companionship of one person only, rather than the temporary camaraderie of a crowd.
Logically, it spares you from those Tarzan style arranged marriages where neither the bride knows the groom, nor vice versa. It's very hard for people to change, and at your own advantage that you get to know them well, very well, before you step in for a miles journey. Now, you may advocate friendship is an alternative, but no, it's not a substitute. A friend is and remains a friend. They do not share intimacy, nor the closeness you would find in a romantic relationship. Better the devil you know.
The world is a cruel place, competition strangles people. Everybody has his own goals to achieve, no time to care about others, especially strangers. You never know, who is a friend, and who, the snake in the grass, as common language puts it. Human behaviour is like this: without support, we often crack. Maybe you don't realize it now because you are well enclosed by your parents and family, but those who have none will tell. Anyway, you won't logically forever have the support of your parents.
Two people who engage together, and are there for each other, in every difficulty, who will pick up the thorns their way, and make life hell easier.
Think clearly. Why do you love your parents? Because they care for you the most in this world? Because they have been here with you, day, night, and will be in the future too? Because they relieve all your troubles and share in your joys?
If you love people, you love them for a reason.
=> Logic was here before love.
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I will not argue with this woman. Never.
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I will not argue with this woman. Never.
LOL!!! :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P
You wish. ::)
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Ofc she targeted me with her post. ::)
:P
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I know.
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@Fame: That kind of comment, pointing anybody, is not allowed. Think twice before posting.
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You need to open a dictionary and check what devil's advocate mean.
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Commenting on the approach of debating or style of argument presented by an opposition is not a healthy way to debate. Especially in a sarcastic way.
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Ofc she targeted me with her post. ::)
:P
Of course. :P
Someone said I had forgotten debating. ::)
Commenting on the approach of debating or style of argument presented by an opposition is not a healthy way to debate. Especially in a sarcastic way.
I missed something... I hate. -_-
And yes, when I was talking, I was referring to grown ups, please. ::)
Mature people, who have a good experience about life.
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I was talking about Arsenal in the second quote of yours, not your post. ;)
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I know... I know.
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How are you so sure I don't have experience of life and am a baby? ::)
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Because I don't have any experience either.
And I wasn't talking about you. But all those, who after reading what I posted, may suddenly jump into pre-mature relationships, that often do not turn out...
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You know.. No two persons are alike. Just cuz you don't have any experience, doesn't mean everybody is the same. Everybody has the experience, in their own way.
Anyway, sorry for the misunderstanding
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You know.. No two persons are alike. Just cuz you don't have any experience, doesn't mean everybody is the same. Everybody has the experience, in their own way.
Agreed ! ::)
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You know.. No two persons are alike. Just cuz you don't have any experience, doesn't mean everybody is the same. Everybody has the experience, in their own way.
Anyway, sorry for the misunderstanding
I know everybody is not alike, some believe in logic, others restrain it, but anyway, end result is the same here.
And I wasn't talking about you, but everybody in general. Everybody.
Talking about experience... True we all have it. But it's true too, we don't have enough. I talked about "pre-mature" relationships, not immature persons. Please.
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I personally am against it. I believe that it was a synthesis of the 2nd world war, when times where hard. I believe that being friends with girls and vice versa is perfectly fine, but I am against the idea of having a relationship. I dont think guys or girls shud be thinking abt entering a relationship until uni or sth. It complicates things, not just for the people involved, but for their parents and friends aswell.
I believe in strong friendships, but nothing with lust in it.
Yeah thats right br0..............at such a young age teenagers have better things to do than find a partner!!
Being good friends with girls and vice versa is certainly acceptable since they may be of tremendous help be it in your education or life!!
but there is no point of entering into a relationship.............because we are not mature enough to be able to handle all these responsibilities!!
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Oh people are still discussing this.:P
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Mauritians Man :(
They love to debate , it's their favorite thing to do.
Opps .I got racist again. :P
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Mauritians Man :(
They love to debate , it's their favorite thing to do.
Opps .I got racist again. :P
Bias, you're generalising. ::)
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Bias, you're generalising. ::)
He loves to provoke....
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He loves to provoke....
Yeah... I know.
But it rarely works. ;)
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Yeah... I know.
But it rarely works. ;)
You can't blame a guy for trying! ;)
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You can't blame a guy for trying! ;)
Why? It's a genetic problem? ::)
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hehehe...........u r perhaps right Requiem.............its very interesting to discuss as if u r not doing so :P
anyway by the way u are talking about Mauritians, i guess u have had a really bad time debating with Alpha !!
Why? It's a genetic problem? ::)
I think it is :P
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hehehe...........u r perhaps right Requiem.............its very interesting to discuss as if u r not doing so :P
Ya, tell him. :P
anyway by the way u are talking about Mauritians, i guess u have had a really bad time debating with Alpha !!
Absolutely correct. ::)
I think it is :P
Don't think, be sure. We are in the Debates Section. :P ;)
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hehe...........debating sure is one of our favourites!! although we have lots more, right alpha??
It seems you scared the hell out of Requiem..... ;D
Don't think, be sure. We are in the Debates Section. :P ;)
to tell the truth...........its not found in the genes of man.........but this art of trying is present in the life of every man!! :P
let me be more precise..........trying for improvement is man's daily deeds!!
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I don't understand why so many of you are against it, you should experience it before judging; getting close with people and getting to really know them, spending time with them, laughing together as boyfriend and girlfriend or simply dating is so enjoyable, why would so many people do it if not?
I'm not sure whether most of you are Pakistani and Indian? that seems to be primarily the culture I see on here, but in New Zealand and other western cultures, its the norm to be in relationships from aged 13.
Marriage proves nothing and people in my culture repeatedly break their vows anyway so it just isn't successful judging by our divorce rates.
getting married before you date seems foolish since you don't even know the person, how can you judge that you want to spend every moment of your life with this person?? ???
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Your First Post
in the debate
in THIS THREAD
ALRIGHT
;D
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I don't understand why so many of you are against it, you should experience it before judging; getting close with people and getting to really know them, spending time with them, laughing together as boyfriend and girlfriend or simply dating is so enjoyable, why would so many people do it if not?
all this can be done with friends........there is no need of being boy or girlfriends for these kind of things. The trend is different nowadays..........dating seems to be overcome by the temptation of sex!!
People normally do so because they want to impress their friends that they have a boy or girlfriend whom they love which is however not the case.
I'm not sure whether most of you are Pakistani and Indian? that seems to be primarily the culture I see on here, but in New Zealand and other western cultures, its the norm to be in relationships from aged 13.
At such a tender age we are still immature and wont be able to take responsible decisions concerning our future life if we get entangled into relationships. Moreover we still do not know the true meaning of love.
Marriage proves nothing and people in my culture repeatedly break their vows anyway so it just isn't successful judging by our divorce rates.
getting married before you date seems foolish since you don't even know the person, how can you judge that you want to spend every moment of your life with this person?? ???
The divorce rates are high because there seem to have been more than 1 girl or boy in the life of every individual in their past...........conflicts will always rise between husband and wives due to this!
You need not date someone before marriage but you can still try to know her in other ways.
Having always preserved yourself for only one person is such a beautiful deed that it immediately creates a pure sense of affection and love between two persons once they are united for life!
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all this can be done with friends........there is no need of being boy or girlfriends for these kind of things. The trend is different nowadays..........dating seems to be overcome by the temptation of sex!!
People normally do so because they want to impress their friends that they have a boy or girlfriend whom they love which is however not the case.
At such a tender age we are still immature and wont be able to take responsible decisions concerning our future life if we get entangled into relationships. Moreover we still do not know the true meaning of love.
The divorce rates are high because there seem to have been more than 1 girl or boy in the life of every individual in their past...........conflicts will always rise between husband and wives due to this!
You need not date someone before marriage but you can still try to know her in other ways.
Having always preserved yourself for only one person is such a beautiful deed that it immediately creates a pure sense of affection and love between two persons once they are united for life!
+rep. :)
Proud you're Mauritian.
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+rep. :)
Proud you're Mauritian.
hehe.......thanks :)
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all this can be done with friends........there is no need of being boy or girlfriends for these kind of things. The trend is different nowadays..........dating seems to be overcome by the temptation of sex!!
People normally do so because they want to impress their friends that they have a boy or girlfriend whom they love which is however not the case.
At such a tender age we are still immature and wont be able to take responsible decisions concerning our future life if we get entangled into relationships. Moreover we still do not know the true meaning of love.
The divorce rates are high because there seem to have been more than 1 girl or boy in the life of every individual in their past...........conflicts will always rise between husband and wives due to this!
You need not date someone before marriage but you can still try to know her in other ways.
Having always preserved yourself for only one person is such a beautiful deed that it immediately creates a pure sense of affection and love between two persons once they are united for life!
-Respect
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-Respect
:)
i hope that you have the same views like me :)
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This makes me remember a discussion I had on a friend's blog.
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really??
wont u like to share some of the ideas with us??
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really??
wont u like to share some of the ideas with us??
I'll try to retrieve...
Was something on virginity.
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I can't remember my password. -_-
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dont worry...............
thanks for trying though :)
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http://www.google.mu/webhp?hl=&sourceid=navclient-ff&rlz=1B3GGLL_en___MU385&ie=UTF-8#rlz=1B3GGLL_en___MU385&hl=en&source=hp&q=Aizabella+blogspot&aq=f&aqi=&aql=&oq=&gs_rfai=&fp=de7f6f193c82f807
It's the first link. -_-
I'd two accounts. I forgot both. -_-
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I believe Mauritians Cannot have a boyfriend/Girlfriend due to their habbit of imitating philosophers too much
Therefore they dont have the right to speak in such threads
and Therefore this thread should be resigned to guys like me.
Who, even if people accuse me of being pretentious, Knows about this stuff.
Inside out.
Fascinating eh :P
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Somebody who has no deep insight about philosophy should be cautious and sit down and listen only, and talk less about it.
Somebody who does not know Mauritius first hand, should do something similar to the above.
To whom is the thread alien now? :P
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But I know History.
History can defeat any Argument hands down :P.
And history tells socrates like Other greek and muslim philosophers never married, in fact Women despised Him.
So there.
haha :P
What you gonna say now
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I believe Mauritians Cannot have a boyfriend/Girlfriend due to their habbit of imitating philosophers too much
Therefore they dont have the right to speak in such threads
ROTFL!!! :D :P
I really burst into laughter at that! :P
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But I know History.
History can defeat any Argument hands down :P.
And history tells socrates like Other greek and muslim philosophers never married, in fact Women despised Him.
So there.
haha :P
What you gonna say now
Oh Mister. :P
I don't know which history you are talking about. Socrates WAS married. Xanthippe was her name. He even had children.
Pascal was in love with someone too. There are many others.
Don't underestimate them. They can be better than any Mourn Song. :P
The ONLY difference among people is that some do not believe in those kill-time and for-pleasure hollow relationships, that can't most of the time stick for more than a month.
ROTFL!!! :D :P
I really burst into laughter at that! :P
:P :P :P
Wait when he starts talking about Bangladeshis. :P
Welcome back. ;)
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:P :P :P
Wait when he starts talking about Bangladeshis. :P
Welcome back. ;)
Thanks! :)
*ahem*. Racist comment. :P :P :P
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Thanks! :)
*ahem*. Racist comment. :P :P :P
Not yet come. :P
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I believe Mauritians Cannot have a boyfriend/Girlfriend due to their habbit of imitating philosophers too much
Therefore they dont have the right to speak in such threads
and Therefore this thread should be resigned to guys like me.
Who, even if people accuse me of being pretentious, Knows about this stuff.
Inside out.
Fascinating eh :P
You really do not know Mauritius dude.........so i dont think you can comment about it!!
Mauritius is much more developed and has a reached a stage near to the westerners in terms of fashion and habits. It is not unusual to find a teenage couple walking hands in hands in the street of Mauritius. But that is just the persons who blind-foldedly follow the trend of the westerners.
Moreover being in love and having a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship are two things completely different!!
Teenagers have not reached the maturity to understand the true meaning of love. Neither do I. So its better not to risk things which can have disastrous effects in our lives in the future!!
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Woah, dude.
Requiem is a bit of an A**, he like to instigate bad things. Dont fall for that trap.
Take it easy and and just ignore him. Dont get into a fight.
I've seen your country and its truly beautiful...... and EXPENSIVE for tourists :P
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Woah, dude.
Requiem is a bit of an A**, he like to instigate bad things. Dont fall for that trap.
Take it easy and and just ignore him. Dont get into a fight.
I've seen your country and its truly beautiful...... and EXPENSIVE for tourists :P
its ok pal...........am cool !!
not really fighting ....just arguing!!
Thats the aim of a debate, right?
hahahaha........tourism is one of the pillars of our economy. So we need to get cash out of the tourists. But i think the services and facilities that have implemented for tourists is quite luxurious and demands lots of expertise......so its bound to be costly :P
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Woah, dude.
Requiem is a bit of an A**, he like to instigate bad things. Dont fall for that trap.
Take it easy and and just ignore him. Dont get into a fight.
I've seen your country and its truly beautiful...... and EXPENSIVE for tourists :P
Hey, come on. You know as much as I do that every member, absolutely every member that participates in the Debates threads brings in something specific to his own persona. Something nobody else can bring alike. :)
Everybody's participation is equally important.
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if i am an A**.
You are +hole.
Only nid can abuse me
Dont mess with me. >:(
What I meant to say was that you were being a bit of an....
I wasnt insulting you in General; just notifying Deadly_King that what you were saying was meant on jest.
Peace.
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LOL ::)
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omg...y'all STILL posting here????
*damn*
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omg...y'all STILL posting here????
*damn*
Requiem and Ari are manifesting their corrosive love. ::)
(God help)
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Okay, I asked for the comments. They're pretty long, so I'll just break them down. ;)
VIRGINITY BEFORE MARRIAGE: IS IT STILL IMPORTANT?
"Virginity is the seal of excellence, will you accept if the seal is broken?"
-Anonymous
This has been a popular topic on Yahoo Q&A (Philippines) for this week. A lot of people reacted to it, and each has a different opinion. Some answerers gave very conservative opinions and their answers somewhat reflect the Filipino society's gender biases.
There's a double standard, meaning there is an ethical code that applies more strictly to one gender group than to another. On the other hand, there are people who gave open-minded answers to the questions. Most of the women -- gave open minded answers. I was surprised to see the answers of some of the men there, they are more closed-minded about it.
One implied that non-virgins shouldn't be wed in church ---- which I find ridiculous.
R posted: "If one (either the man or the woman) looses [sic] virginity then having church wedding is meaningless. For the legal matters, why don't they have a civil wedding instead?"
I replied to R: "Church wedding = why not? Doesn't God love the non-virgins? I think God (if he exists) loves them too. It's their choice. There's no rule that says that non-virgins shouldn't get married in church. People get married in church because of love, not virginity. I think they shouldn't be deprived of the right to have a church wedding."
In my opinion, preserving one's virginity before marriage is IDEAL, (but not required). I live in a society where there's a double standard, women who have lots of boyfriends and sex partners are viewed as of lesser value. While men who have lots of girlfriends are being praised and valued more. So I think it is BETTER to choose the IDEAL way. I have nothing against non-virgin women or men. But personally, it's better to take IDEAL path.
The decision whether to keep it or not prior to marriage is something very PERSONAL. It's a question of Morality. Morality is the personal sense of right and wrong. If an individual is PSYCHOLOGICALLY READY to face the consequences of losing one's virginity before marriage, it's the individual's choice.
One must consider these factors:
(1) Ethical Standards of our society -- Promiscuity and Pre-marital sex are HIGHLY discouraged. Remember that ETHICS are the principles of right and wrong accepted by a social group -- like a society.
While morality is something personal. What is (moral) right for you, maybe (immoral)wrong to me. What is moral (right) to you, maybe "UNETHICAL" to the society. Losing virginity to you maybe OK, but to your society it is NOT okay.
(2) Consider how your family will react to it - parents, relatives. It's a big insult to the conservative parents. They taught you lessons in life, and you didn't listen - that's the implication. The consequence : your parents may scold you, disown you or kick you out of the house.
(3) Risk of unwanted pregnancy; if you're not careful. Are you planning to do it for the first time? Well there's a chance that you can get pregnant -- think again.
(4) Your reputation in the society : Imagine the gossip mongers and their destructive opinions. Gossips are usually exaggerated, a girl slept with a guy and the gossip mongers will magnify it, instead of "a guy", it will be "That girl slept with GUYS, before she got married." Or worse, are you ready to hear these adjectives to be used to describe you: "Makate", "Maluwag", "Pokpok", "Talipandas". Basically these are demeaning words which imply indecency of a woman.
If you think you are ready to face these consequences, then go ahead. Just be responsible for yourself.
But then, if it happens that you are not able to take the "IDEAL" path and a man told you that he won't marry you just because you're a non-virgin, it's wise to leave him. Find another guy who can accept you for who you are. Find a guy who wants to marry you because he loves you.
I would like to know your opinion about it, feel free to leave comments or VOTE -- there's a poll/ survey at the sidebar. Your participation will be greatly appreciated.
Have a great day!
Posted by Aizabella^
Source: d'Corner of my CircLe
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We can’t deny the fact that our society changes through passage of time in order to survive. It is alive and changing. It’s almost impossible for it to stay unchanged and untouched since the time it was first established. It has a defense mechanism to either adopt or deny radical ideas, beliefs and practice either being conceived inside our own society or being introduced by foreign societies.
Whenever there’s a new idea being introduced, the new and the old idea compete against each other to see which is timely suitable. Just like survival of the fittest naybe. It’s impossible for two contradicting ideas to remain in a society without compromising each other’s position. If the new one reigns over the old one, it only means that old idea is already anachronous. But if the old one still remains, then maybe the new one is introduced a bit too early or maybe it is just too ridiculous.
"I’m sure you’ve heard any of the old out-of-this-world-like practices during the time of our great-grandparents, maybe. During that time, when a guy touches even just the hand of a lady, he was supposed to marry her or else the incident would compromise the dignity of the lady. Ladies also had to wear sheen-level skirts and they’re not allowed to befriend a guy without consent of their parents."
Do you still see that tradition in our present Filipino society? Imagine how the later generation who first started to take a small step to change that idea had suffered from social labeling.
The practice of keeping one’s virginity until he or she gets married has been in our society for hundred of years now. Just imagine how long that idea has been surviving and being practiced. It’s not unusual if there’s a radical practice emerges that contradicts the tradition. Even if the new idea is not really meant to attack and oust the old idea, the very existence of the new idea put the old one in a compromising situation.
The practice of pre-marital sex is getting popular among some of the new generation of youths and teenagers. This phenomenon is getting so much public attention and it is now one of the hottest issues in our society. From just a simple family talk up to a national level kind of discussion, we can see that everyone is really getting concerned about voicing out their perspective about it.
"So, virginity before marriage: is it still important?"
Virginity is still important and will forever be important. It is just like time that once wasted, we can never get back again. Virginity is like childhood which is a very important stage in human life while losing it, transition from being a virgin to being a non-virgin, is a milestone in our life just like our transition from childhood to adulthood.
Virginity is not something that we can just give to anybody or to the first person we’ll run into the street. This is not like a pack of lunch that you can share with your friends.
Losing our virginity is a once in a lifetime experience. We can’t be a virgin again then to lose it for the second time. Just like first kiss. One can never experience two first kisses. We must only share this great moment with someone we really love and dear to us, someone whom we’ll never regret sharing this great moment with.
I truly believe that keeping one’s virginity until marriage doesn’t give virginity its sacredness and importance. Its importance doesn’t come from the long wait but it comes from the person whom you’ll have decided to give it up to. Just like a bottle of wine, most of us think that the value of it comes from how long it has been preserved and stacked for its taste is relative to its age. But I think the value of it comes from the person which it is being saved for.
For me, marriage doesn’t play any big part on it we’re just accustomed to the tradition and idea that we’ll only meet the rightful and deserving person in front of the altar which happens most of the time. It’s only a ceremony that helps us to finally decide that the person whom we’re walking down the aisle is the rightful person to share this moment. But what if one meets the right person even long before marriage?
We’re now living in the 21st century, an era which I hope that each and every one of us has the freedom to practice our own preferences. I think it’s not really important here if we comply with what the custom tells us to do but what is really important now is to have the freedom to choose what we prefer to do. If one wants to keep his or her virginity until marriage, then do it. But if one wants to give it up now, he or she is free because that’s what he/she prefers. I think the only reason why giving up one’s virginity before marriage is considered immoral by some is because this radical practice clashes with the traditional practice. Besides that reason, I can’t think of any other reason that makes pre-marital sex immoral. If you have one please tell me.
I’m not trying to play safe here. Like what I’ve mentioned above, contradicting ideas can’t stay without compromising each other. So, what I want to do is to try to introduce another idea that will hopefully kick the notion that a lady loses her dignity and character just by giving up her virginity to a guy she loves before marriage; I can never accept the idea that our feeling for our love ones diminishes when we find out they’re not virgin anymore; an idea that will hopefully kick the notion that a tradition will always be the tradition and that it will always the ideal for everyone. And that is the idea that we have different preferences and that we are free to choose.
"Ethical Standards of our society"
Society is a large group of people who share something in common. If ethics are the principles of right and wrong which are accepted in a social group like society; and then if society is composed of individuals who have personal sense of morality (right and wrong); then ethics is the summation of the morality of each individual in a society. That’s why it’s called society.
BUT even if we live in a society (Filipino Society), we perceive right and wrong, moral and immoral differently. We can clearly see that our society splits into sub-societies (conservative sub-society and liberal sub-society…) by raising issues like this one.
Ex. Annie is a non-virgin Filipina lady. Her non-virginity is not a reason for her not to be accepted by the whole Filipino society because even if she’s non-virgin she’s still Filipina. Her being Filipina is the reason why she’s part of the Filipino society and not her virginity. Yeah of course she’ll never be accepted by conservative sub-society because that’s not the society where she belongs. She belongs and accepted in the liberal sub-society where people think the same way like her.
So if Pedro thinks that Annie is not accepted by the whole Filipino society, then he is wrong. It doesn’t mean that because that’s what he thinks, everyone thinks the same way. His opinion doesn’t stand for the whole Filipino society but only for the conservative sub-society.
Promiscuity denotes being sexually active with a lot of casual sex partners. I think this is a different issue because we can give up our virginity without being promiscuous. But anyway, personally I’m against it because for me we should only have sex with someone we love and not someone we just meet or run into.
Risk of unwanted pregnancy
Yeah if the girl gets pregnant this is surely a strong reason why premarital sex is a big problem but still not a strong reason to justify why it’s immoral. But for the sake of argument let’s assume that it is one of the reasons why premarital sex immoral.
What if the girl didn’t get pregnant? Does it mean that what they did is okay and moral?
What if a lady and a guy are planning to do it for the first time BUT they consult a gynecologist and really prepare and take necessary steps to make sure that the lady won’t get pregnant? Does it mean that what they are planning to do is moral?
Because we’re talking about pre-marital sex, does marriage diminish the risk of unwanted pregnancy? Why? Is marriage like a contraceptive?
How about the married couples who have a dozen children?
What is family planning for? Isn’t it originally established for the married couples who wish to limit the number of their kids because even if they are married, they still have the risk of having unwanted pregnancy?
I think the problem here is not premarital sex but being unprepared.
Your reputation in the society
Well, what can I say? I think what is dirty and immoral here is not the act itself but the close-minded minds of people who perceive the act.
I think I should include my personal preference here. Even if it’s okay for me the idea of giving up our virginity before marriage, I still prefer the traditional way. Why? Not because I’m afraid to be rejected and labeled, not because I want to comply with the conservative society, not because I’m afraid to be rejected, not because it’s the ideal way….but because that’s what I want to do and because that’s my preference….that’s it...
Posted by hades
Source: d'Corner of my CircLe
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A. MORALITY VS. ETHICS - You said that Ehical Standards = sum of all the moral principles of the society. If you see it from the individual going outside the society then it's a summation of the moral principles of each person within a society. (It's like specific to general)
But if you see it this way (general to specific): from the society going to the individual-- then cultural influences will have a great influence on how the person perceives right and wrong. For example: The family, there's a strong tendency for the child to acquire the behavior or customs practiced by his parents and siblings. Yes, in a society there are "subgroups". There are people who are conservative and there are those who are liberal. Usually there is a set of norms accepted by the majority-- which is the majority? The conservative or the liberal?
But just like what I mentioned : Losing one's virginity is a "personal" decision -- it's a question of morality rather than ethics. It's a personal choice. It depends upon the person if she thinks she is READY. Why? Because if she is not ready for the consequences she will have a hard time dealing with them. What happens to a person who is carrying an emotional burden? It can make or break her. It can be viewed as a challenge for her to survive like a passage to maturity, or a burden too heavy to carry for her -- a burden that could break her youthhood. If the latter is the case, then chances are it will lead to an array of problems : relations with the family and the society. Constant rejection and parental rebuke = it will affect the person emotionally which could pave way for "psychological problems". She can feel "blamed". Imagine fifteen-year-old teeners carrying that burden. It will affect school, interpersonal relationships. Depression, Nervous Breakdown and sequelae of psychological problems. Despite of that, I know people who can carry on -- those who are ready, those who can responsibly accept the consequences. If it's already there, there's nothing more they can do about it, but to carry on. Weird though, they lost their virginity but they advise their female friends "to preserve it as much as possible". They saw the consequences of it.
B. VIRGIN vs. PROMISCUOUS -- Losing one's virginity is not equal to being promiscuous. The definition of being a "virgin" is far from the description of a promiscuous person. Since promiscuity is rejected by ethical principles, the opposing idea is "praised". What is the contrasting idea? VIRGINITY. Being a virgin and being promiscuous are like two concepts that lie at the extreme ends of a continuum. If we try to measure it or see its relation in form of analogy: it's like white and black. White representsthe virgins, black represents the promiscuous. The UNWED people who are neither promiscuous nor virgins-- they lie on the gray shade. It's the person's choice -- does she want to lie on the black side or the white side? She can stay on "gray" too.
C. THE DIFFERENCE OF UNWANTED PREGNANCY OUTSIDE MARRIAGE and WITHIN MARRIAGE --
UNWANTED PREGNANCY OUTSIDE MARRIAGE- WHy? If a guy sleeps with a girl that does NOT mean that he loves her. He can be using her for fun. If she gets pregnant, what is the guarantee that the guy will marry her? What is the guarantee that the guy will be a responsible father for their child? Can the girl support the child alone? Financial and emotional support.. LEGAL CHILD SUPPORT ISN'T THAT POPULAR HERE. Can the girl fulfill the "Paternal responsibilities", considering that she is already fulfilling her "maternal responsibilities". Who usually gets unwanted pregnancies? TEENAGERS - due to lack of knowledge about contraception, due to lack of foresight -- they think sex is equal to love. One thing : If they are below 18, they cannot get married. Let's say they are 15... 3 years more.. In that span of three years one of them might find "true love", and leave the other.
It's not easy to raise a child, especially if you are ALONE. The child will be called a "bastard". People are cruel, they hit the spot that hurts. It's not the child's fault, but the child who was born out of wedlock will get affected, the child will feel the detrimental effects of his biological parents' irresponsible acts.
YOUR QUESTIONS: "does marriage diminish the risk of unwanted pregnancy? Why? Is marriage like a contraceptive?"
If a man and woman decide to get married it's expected and accepted for them to have children. Marriage is a responsibility, Provided that the guy and the girl are both virgins or both of them don't have children. Will they get married if they are not ready? If they are responsible enough to sign a marriage contract, they should be ready enough to have children. It's not a contraception but it's a legal sign of "RESPONSIBILITY". A sworn statement that you won't leave the other partner alone. Getting married is a signal of "starting your own family".
Or it's the other way around? UNPREPARED PEOPLE GET MARRIED DUE TO UNWANTED PREGNANCY -- SO TRUE, ESPECIALLY FOR THE YOUNG PEOPLE WHO ENGAGED IN PRE-MARITAL SEX. SOME OF THEM DON'T REALLY LOVE EACH OTHER, THEY JUST GET MARRIED FOR THE SAKE OF "TAKING CARE OF THE CHILD" and preserving the girl's reputation.
Now, if the child or if children are born within marriage -- it means it's LEGAL, then BOTH parents will be responsible. Even if they are a dozen, a dozen of LEGITIMATE children... they have parents who can guide them. Material wise they may lack money, but EMOTIONAL SUPPORT AND MORAL GUIDANCE will be there. By law and by customs the parents provide for the children. They guide them. If the husband abandons his wife and children - it's a lawsuit. It's easier to ask for child support from a father who legally acknowledges his children. How can he deny them? He was married to the mother of his children.
I value self-freedom. I have NOTHING against non-virgins-- they have practiced their freedom to choose. But I cannot be too selfish. That is why staying a virgin is my choice -- for me it's ideal. I have a family as well, I have people around me, I live and move in a society. My decisions will affect them. Their decisions will affect me. If the ideal can be followed, why not follow it?
Anyway, you gave very good points. I highly appreciate them and understand the message that you want to convey. Some of our ideas clash, but overall the point of reconciliation is : VIRGINITY CANNOT BE RECLAIMED, IT IS THE PERSON'S DECISION WHETHER TO LOSE IT OR NOT.
When to lose it : I THINK WHEN SOMEONE IS READY ENOUGH -- it can be before or after wedding.
Erratum: A. MORALITY VS. ETHICS = You said that ETHICAL* Standards...
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P.S. You've noticed that I usually refer to the person as "she". It is because the society is unfair, there's a different gender role for a woman. Usually, she has more to lose. Different customs for a man and a woman. Perhaps, I've used the pronoun "she" because I've expressed it in a female's point of view.
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* If the guy loves the girl, he will WAIT and think of the reputation of his girlfriend. :)
Posted by Aizabella^
Source: d'Corner of my CircLe
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“Virginity”… Your entry has given me an opportunity to think profoundly about this delicate subject….
In my own opinions, I think virginity should be preserved for BOTH men and women… But anyway, everybody is free to lead his/her own life without the dictation of someone else… However, we shouldn’t forget that humans live in societies—groups, where the outlooks of one unit, especially if they are unethical, can easily succumb before the unstated laws and norms of the society.
As you said, to lose or to preserve premarital virginity is the individual’s choice…
Am stating the reasons why I think virginity should be preserved for both sexes before marriage…
My viewpoints:
1) Social Ethics
The Mauritian society isn’t different from yours and most Asian and Islamic ones…Though Mauritius is an amalgam of the East and the West, many people here are still conservative—and I think they ought to be, at least to some extent… It’s not that I am a traditionalist, but norms and values must survive as these are what give a society its mode of conduct, these are what MAKE a society…
Besides, life is a bed of thorns for non-virgins here, especially young girls... Once you’ve been tagged a “b*tch” (“pitin” in Creole), your state is like that of the steak in a frying pan—you jump out, and land directly on the flames or you stay in and burn till death… Boys, on the contrary, aren’t considered contemptible when they are no longer virgins. ‘Why?’ The answer in Mauritius: Because it’s the female’s swollen womb that is visible…
Moreover, even love between couples is affected when one of the partners is ‘impure’. Suppose a man marries a woman, finds out she’s been touched by someone else (Well, who goes about asking before falling in love: “Are you a virgin?”), he’ll despise her for the rest of her life. The woman will cease existing. She’ll be a second-hand object which he has just bought. These circumstances encourage the man to keep mistresses. And when the wife will ask: “Why are you having affairs?” He’ll answer: “Why should it concern you? Did you not have sexual relationships before marriage? Did I ask you then ‘why’?” The mentality here: ‘BITCHES ARE MEANT TO BE USED AND NOT TO BE LOVED OR MARRIED.’
Some youngsters often say: “After all, it’s the 21st century! Let’s move forward with time. Be modern!!”
For my part, I don’t find any rational reason why being a non-virgin should be considered modern. Beyond all, sex or love is primordial since human existence…
It’s the “21st century”, so what? If we set wrong examples now, then we shouldn’t be complaining when in the future youngsters will say: “It’s the 22nd century pop! Let’s stroll around stark naked!!”
Yes, the WAY things are done is being changed—but not the ‘things’ themselves. Marriage followed by sex or marriage preceded by sex—sex and marriage BOTH STILL exist. The major difference is that sex after marriage can be ascertained but marriage after sex is NOT, which is quite often the case…
Often new ideas invade our societies, and bring radical changes… This doesn’t mean that whatever is new is morally and ethically right. However, the urge to move with time is greater (is fittest). And the end result is that we often tend to implement things (not to say rules), or rather, things often get implemented, things which later may be regretted. But in the process we also LOSE our traditional way of life… The clock hand never moves back in time... When you fill water in a glass which later you find out had no base, the water cannot be collected back.
I am not saying that ALL traditional practices should be preserved, but what’s “ideal” is ideal—and the ideal should be maintained. What is ‘modern’ today is what will be traditional tomorrow… Just like what is ‘traditional’ today is what was modern yesterday… What we choose for the future will influence both the present and the past—best in our interests is to leave no room for errors…
I firmly believe that to make the decision of “breaking the seal or not”, one first needs to be a MATURE person. And the first sign of immaturity displayed is when people (especially youngsters) consider themselves to be ‘mature’ when actually they are most naïve. Maturity is far from being only a question of age. To be “mature” means to be able to weigh one’s actions as well as their consequences BOTH ON ONESELF AND OTHERS.
If pre-marital sex is favoured, it is somehow a form of encouraging others, more precisely, youngsters, to engage in sexual activities earlier than when appropriate, when they are physically and/or psychologically unprepared. It’s like unlocking the gates of a stable of wild horses—they run wild all over the place and cause chaos…
If pre-marital sex is a CHOICE, it is also viewed by some as an OBLIGATION. The reasons may be:
(1) ‘Others are doing it, so we must do it also’. Pre-marital sex becomes ‘fashionable’.
(2) ‘We need to grow sexually to be perfect adults’. “Practice makes perfect”.
(3) The girl thinks: “If I do not comply with my boyfriend’s demands, he will leave me and go out with my enemy. “
The boy: “They will ridicule me and call me impotent if I do not do it.”
Youngsters often tend to think about everything, except what’s sensible.
(4) Fear that suspicion may be cast on one’s sexual preferences. Better to be tormented as a non-virgin than to be tyrannized as a homosexual.
The typical scenario after a boy has slept with a girl is what makes pre-marital sex “immoral”. Sleeping with somebody for the only sake of pleasure is what makes pre-marital sex immoral. The feeling of being used as a mere sex object by a lustful partner is what makes pre-marital sex immoral. Girls are often the victims of lust. And it is this “often” that makes love bias… There is a high risk involved when anyone (so as not to gender discriminate) decides to have pre-marital sex. But we talk specifically about girls for whom the risk is higher. As it is, boys or men do not lack reasons to ‘rid of’ the ‘used object’ in the dustbin:
“You’re not good in bed, adios!”
“Today you slept with me; you could have slept with many others before me… How many more are you going to sleep with in the future?”
However, the preferred and ‘feasible’ is to just disappear after the first night—this is immoral.
As a consequence, when the girl finds herself pregnant, she also finds herself deprived of emotional, familial, and maybe financial support too.
To mention only one case, there was a girl of 17 years old who had been impregnated by someone who vanished afterwards, someone who was ‘irresponsible’. Somehow, she managed to hide her pregnancy (She was a plump girl and used this to her advantage). Fearing the vigilant authorities here, she did not have her delivery on a hospital bed assisted by nurses but inside a water closet left to herself! Depressed, shocked, traumatized, panic-stricken, what she did next was unpardonable… With a pair of scissors, she CUT HER OWN BABY!! Circumstances transformed her into a cold-blooded criminal… Her fault: She thought she was ‘responsible’ when actually she was not…
The outcomes of pre-marital sex can be disastrous. Mothers are obliged to kill or abandon their own children, either by circumstances or social factors… Suicidal attempts are recurrent…And this is immoral.
How few minutes of pleasure can destroy a whole lifetime… How impulse and desire can devastate lives… How true and unfortunate it is that realization only comes when it’s too late to do anything!
We may think we are ‘ready’—but only thinking doesn’t help. How can we be SURE we are really READY? And as the act is irreversible, what is lost will never be regained...It is forever lost.
Coming to adults, they know virginity should be broken for the ‘RIGHT PERSON’ at the ‘RIGHT TIME’. But the big question is: HOW do we know WHO IS THE RIGHT PERSON and WHEN IS THE RIGHT TIME?
Even if you meet the “right person” long before marriage, even if you find “true love” long before marriage, as Empress said, sex is NOT equal to love. You love that person does not mean you imperatively need to have sex with that person. Besides, HOW can you be 100 percent sure it is and really is the “right person”?
WHAT ROLE DOES MARRIAGE PLAY?
Besides being a formality or a ceremony, marriage has an integral role to play. Marriage forces people to think twice, thrice, countless of times before making this lifelong decision… It helps to answer the question of ‘WHO is Mr. /Miss Right’ and ‘WHEN is right’… HOW can you know it’s the right person? It’s when that person is willing to dedicate his/her whole life to you… When that person opts to be by your side till death… What that person DOES what others may simply say… Marriage is the action that proves words… And WHEN do you know it’s the right time? It’s when YOU are ready to dedicate your whole lifetime to this “right person”… It’s when you have found “true love”…
Fine, cohabitation exists and is practiced. BUT it does not fulfill the same functions that a legal and socially recognized family does. Camps and homes are poles apart.
If marriage is a “legal sign of RESPONSIBILITY”, then it is not absolutely wrong to say that marriage is like a contraceptive. When the eyes of the law guard people’s acts, they refrain from acting “irresponsibly”, they refrain from abandoning their “illegitimate” child/children, they are actively conscious of their acts, and they ASSUME their “responsibility”, they limit it also—they choose to have fewer children either by ‘producing’ less or by having recourse to other contraceptives, BUT THEY DO NOT THROW AWAY THE BORN CHILD, because they are now LEGALLY RESPONSIBLE. Legal responsibility constrains the individual to bear the consequences of his/her own act in cases where moral responsibility does not suffice. In other words, marriage forces the individual to limit these consequences.
Plus, the level of education is what most influences the number of progeny people may have—it is no longer the social engagement, i.e., marriage. As people spring out of ignorance, they are beginning to realize that ‘marry’ and ‘multiply’ are not complements but altogether different concepts. In simple words, marriage is a choice; to have children or not is ANOTHER choice. Unwanted pregnancy is equally probable for unmarried couples as much as it is for married ones.
And we shouldn’t forget the risk of getting sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) also… AIDS is a major problem in the world…Where medical facilities are provided, the problem is not that people aren’t having checkups before partaking in sexual activities… The real problem is that they are hesitant to have checkups when they aren’t married—when they have a secret relationship unknown or unacknowledged by the society… Because they are afraid the beans may just be spilled …
Though being a non-virgin is different from being promiscuous, the world doesn’t differentiate. The world doesn’t care to… The eyes of people perceive “gray” as a tint of black. “Gray” is black mixed with white, that’s all. Who cares to ask: “How many partners do you have?” Maybe having only one partner makes a difference to the individual, but not to the society.
Why is it that “our feeling for our loved ones diminishes when we find out they’re not virgin anymore”?
It’s because we are made to realize that we are NOT the person whom the wine had been saved for... Especially when we are going to share it with someone who is already sozzled…
2) Religion
Yeah, religion binds me, fortunately (Thank you God!)… In Islam, it is STRICTLY PROHIBITED to have sexual relationships outside the circle of marriage. So is adultery. Actually, the 2 main purposes of marriage, which single out humans from animals, are:
(1) Procreation within the family unit, i.e., with all the required support, and
(2) ‘Healthy’ and approved sex.
PAUSE. A common misconception: Islam ALLOWS men to marry four times… But it’s marry to SOLVE A PROBLEM, NOT FOR YOUR OWN PLEASURE and WITH THE APPROVAL of the present wife/wives. And why aren’t women allowed so? Because, first, they are not the main provider of the family in most cases; second, females outnumber males when considering the whole world’s population. There are many other reasons… Well, that’s another debate… Let us come back to virginity in Islam…
Love is considered sacred. Love is divine. Love or sex loses its divinity when it is ‘distributed’ to anyone and everyone. Like faith diminishes when it is distributed amongst deities, instead of only one God. Virginity is PERSONAL-- it BELONGS to the individual; it is PART of the individual. When you marry someone, that person becomes a PART of you. Virginity should be given up to someone who is ALREADY A PART OF YOU (husband or wife) and not to someone who is NOT YET A PART OF YOU (a lover for e.g.).
If “the person to whom virginity is given up to” is what gives virginity its sacredness and importance, ergo it loses this sacredness and importance when it has already been given to someone else before?
Moreover, Islam sees it thus: Just like you are being unfaithful to your life partner when you commit the sin of adultery (have sex with someone else your partner), you are being unfaithful to your future life partner when you decide to lose your virginity well before marriage (have sex with someone who may not become your partner). Since there is no guarantee that: Sex partner= Life partner.
3) My Parents
If religion binds me, then parental love and care locks me up… :-)
My parents are quite sensitive about this issue… because of reasons 1) and 2) mentioned above…
And they wouldn’t like it at all if their daughter has been labeled with ‘names’, if she moves in society like a piece meant for mass publicity… I would think about them before taking any decision. For they have always thought about me… They have always cared about me… It’s my duty to care too… Love should be reciprocal, so should be care…
What is more, my parents have faith in me… I do have a say in decisions concerning my life… For they have faith I would choose what’s “right”, they have faith I would follow their teachings… And for nothing in this world am I ever going to break this faith. I admit, am kinda proud and afraid of this confidence. Proud for they’ve considered me worthy of it… But afraid that I might break it unconsciously or unintentionally… How truly it has been said: “Everything in life has a price”… Everything…
That’s one of the reasons why I prefer not to keep any boyfriend, however handsome, smart, cute and ideal the guy may be! Lol ;)
4) I
Apart from social, religious and cultural influences, I believe the individual somehow influences his or her own choices in life. We all have something peculiar, something specific to ourselves. Putting aside external factors, inner thoughts, beliefs or principles, which differ from one individual to another, also affect the decisions we may take.
Among inmate female friends, we often discuss about issues like “sex” or “virginity”, “marriage” or “cohabitation”… Curious as I am (he..he), I often ask my friends, especially those who have a boyfriend or boyfriends (LOL) the reason for which they would preserve their virginity…
One girl gave me a reply that really touched my heart. She said: “Because it’s the only thing I have that I can preserve”.
Someone else too gave a nice reply: “Because it’s the best gift that I can offer to someone who offers me his life”.
Ah…. It pleased me to know that my friends are on the safe side… At least they know the difference between sex and love… even if they have boyfriends… :-)
We finally come to me…. :-)
My “my reason” for which I chose to lead on this path, well, if I can express it this way:
It’s because I myself wouldn’t be comfortable at all to use tissue paper on which someone else has already sneezed… Then, how can I be so egocentric as to expect the opposite from the one who will be my partner?
Posted by Alpha*
Source: d'Corner of my CircLe
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Shouldn't this be a new topic ???
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The solution to all the problems - Legalize abortion!
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The solution to all the problems - Legalize abortion!
Got tired of the beetle ? ::)
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No. I'm starting a campaign. Sure you won't join me. >
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No. I'm starting a campaign. Sure you won't join me. >
Regarding Abortion ?
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Regarding Abortion ?
No. How to own cats.
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No. How to own cats.
No.
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No.
I know. ;)
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Shouldn't this be a new topic ???
TBH, I don't want this in a new topic... lest it causes another hot debate in. Too hot to be able to be borne. ;)
No. I'm starting a campaign. Sure you won't join me. >
Somebody's discouraged with life. ::)
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Somebody's discouraged with life. ::)
Reality continues to ruin my life.
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Reality continues to ruin my life.
You have all your body parts intact, be grateful to that.
You're not born woman in some Taliban reigned Afghanistan, be grateful for that too. :P
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You have all your body parts intact, be grateful to that.
You're not born woman in some Taliban reigned Afghanistan, be grateful for that too. :P
Thank you. Now I shall be the grateful man.
"Thank you for kicking me my friend" ;D
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Thank you. Now I shall be the grateful man.
"Thank you for kicking me my friend" ;D
I guess I should say... You're welcome. ::)
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I guess I should say... You're welcome. ::)
Now I am grateful. Do I get a new Murcielago Roadster? ::)
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“Virginity”… Your entry has given me an opportunity to think profoundly about this delicate subject….
In my own opinions, I think virginity should be preserved for BOTH men and women… But anyway, everybody is free to lead his/her own life without the dictation of someone else… However, we shouldn’t forget that humans live in societies—groups, where the outlooks of one unit, especially if they are unethical, can easily succumb before the unstated laws and norms of the society.
As you said, to lose or to preserve premarital virginity is the individual’s choice…
Am stating the reasons why I think virginity should be preserved for both sexes before marriage…
My viewpoints:
1) Social Ethics
The Mauritian society isn’t different from yours and most Asian and Islamic ones…Though Mauritius is an amalgam of the East and the West, many people here are still conservative—and I think they ought to be, at least to some extent… It’s not that I am a traditionalist, but norms and values must survive as these are what give a society its mode of conduct, these are what MAKE a society…
Besides, life is a bed of thorns for non-virgins here, especially young girls... Once you’ve been tagged a “b*tch” (“pitin” in Creole), your state is like that of the steak in a frying pan—you jump out, and land directly on the flames or you stay in and burn till death… Boys, on the contrary, aren’t considered contemptible when they are no longer virgins. ‘Why?’ The answer in Mauritius: Because it’s the female’s swollen womb that is visible…
Moreover, even love between couples is affected when one of the partners is ‘impure’. Suppose a man marries a woman, finds out she’s been touched by someone else (Well, who goes about asking before falling in love: “Are you a virgin?”), he’ll despise her for the rest of her life. The woman will cease existing. She’ll be a second-hand object which he has just bought. These circumstances encourage the man to keep mistresses. And when the wife will ask: “Why are you having affairs?” He’ll answer: “Why should it concern you? Did you not have sexual relationships before marriage? Did I ask you then ‘why’?” The mentality here: ‘BITCHES ARE MEANT TO BE USED AND NOT TO BE LOVED OR MARRIED.’
Some youngsters often say: “After all, it’s the 21st century! Let’s move forward with time. Be modern!!”
For my part, I don’t find any rational reason why being a non-virgin should be considered modern. Beyond all, sex or love is primordial since human existence…
It’s the “21st century”, so what? If we set wrong examples now, then we shouldn’t be complaining when in the future youngsters will say: “It’s the 22nd century pop! Let’s stroll around stark naked!!”
Yes, the WAY things are done is being changed—but not the ‘things’ themselves. Marriage followed by sex or marriage preceded by sex—sex and marriage BOTH STILL exist. The major difference is that sex after marriage can be ascertained but marriage after sex is NOT, which is quite often the case…
Often new ideas invade our societies, and bring radical changes… This doesn’t mean that whatever is new is morally and ethically right. However, the urge to move with time is greater (is fittest). And the end result is that we often tend to implement things (not to say rules), or rather, things often get implemented, things which later may be regretted. But in the process we also LOSE our traditional way of life… The clock hand never moves back in time... When you fill water in a glass which later you find out had no base, the water cannot be collected back.
I am not saying that ALL traditional practices should be preserved, but what’s “ideal” is ideal—and the ideal should be maintained. What is ‘modern’ today is what will be traditional tomorrow… Just like what is ‘traditional’ today is what was modern yesterday… What we choose for the future will influence both the present and the past—best in our interests is to leave no room for errors…
I firmly believe that to make the decision of “breaking the seal or not”, one first needs to be a MATURE person. And the first sign of immaturity displayed is when people (especially youngsters) consider themselves to be ‘mature’ when actually they are most naïve. Maturity is far from being only a question of age. To be “mature” means to be able to weigh one’s actions as well as their consequences BOTH ON ONESELF AND OTHERS.
If pre-marital sex is favoured, it is somehow a form of encouraging others, more precisely, youngsters, to engage in sexual activities earlier than when appropriate, when they are physically and/or psychologically unprepared. It’s like unlocking the gates of a stable of wild horses—they run wild all over the place and cause chaos…
If pre-marital sex is a CHOICE, it is also viewed by some as an OBLIGATION. The reasons may be:
(1) ‘Others are doing it, so we must do it also’. Pre-marital sex becomes ‘fashionable’.
(2) ‘We need to grow sexually to be perfect adults’. “Practice makes perfect”.
(3) The girl thinks: “If I do not comply with my boyfriend’s demands, he will leave me and go out with my enemy. “
The boy: “They will ridicule me and call me impotent if I do not do it.”
Youngsters often tend to think about everything, except what’s sensible.
(4) Fear that suspicion may be cast on one’s sexual preferences. Better to be tormented as a non-virgin than to be tyrannized as a homosexual.
The typical scenario after a boy has slept with a girl is what makes pre-marital sex “immoral”. Sleeping with somebody for the only sake of pleasure is what makes pre-marital sex immoral. The feeling of being used as a mere sex object by a lustful partner is what makes pre-marital sex immoral. Girls are often the victims of lust. And it is this “often” that makes love bias… There is a high risk involved when anyone (so as not to gender discriminate) decides to have pre-marital sex. But we talk specifically about girls for whom the risk is higher. As it is, boys or men do not lack reasons to ‘rid of’ the ‘used object’ in the dustbin:
“You’re not good in bed, adios!”
“Today you slept with me; you could have slept with many others before me… How many more are you going to sleep with in the future?”
However, the preferred and ‘feasible’ is to just disappear after the first night—this is immoral.
As a consequence, when the girl finds herself pregnant, she also finds herself deprived of emotional, familial, and maybe financial support too.
To mention only one case, there was a girl of 17 years old who had been impregnated by someone who vanished afterwards, someone who was ‘irresponsible’. Somehow, she managed to hide her pregnancy (She was a plump girl and used this to her advantage). Fearing the vigilant authorities here, she did not have her delivery on a hospital bed assisted by nurses but inside a water closet left to herself! Depressed, shocked, traumatized, panic-stricken, what she did next was unpardonable… With a pair of scissors, she CUT HER OWN BABY!! Circumstances transformed her into a cold-blooded criminal… Her fault: She thought she was ‘responsible’ when actually she was not…
The outcomes of pre-marital sex can be disastrous. Mothers are obliged to kill or abandon their own children, either by circumstances or social factors… Suicidal attempts are recurrent…And this is immoral.
How few minutes of pleasure can destroy a whole lifetime… How impulse and desire can devastate lives… How true and unfortunate it is that realization only comes when it’s too late to do anything!
We may think we are ‘ready’—but only thinking doesn’t help. How can we be SURE we are really READY? And as the act is irreversible, what is lost will never be regained...It is forever lost.
Coming to adults, they know virginity should be broken for the ‘RIGHT PERSON’ at the ‘RIGHT TIME’. But the big question is: HOW do we know WHO IS THE RIGHT PERSON and WHEN IS THE RIGHT TIME?
Even if you meet the “right person” long before marriage, even if you find “true love” long before marriage, as Empress said, sex is NOT equal to love. You love that person does not mean you imperatively need to have sex with that person. Besides, HOW can you be 100 percent sure it is and really is the “right person”?
WHAT ROLE DOES MARRIAGE PLAY?
Besides being a formality or a ceremony, marriage has an integral role to play. Marriage forces people to think twice, thrice, countless of times before making this lifelong decision… It helps to answer the question of ‘WHO is Mr. /Miss Right’ and ‘WHEN is right’… HOW can you know it’s the right person? It’s when that person is willing to dedicate his/her whole life to you… When that person opts to be by your side till death… What that person DOES what others may simply say… Marriage is the action that proves words… And WHEN do you know it’s the right time? It’s when YOU are ready to dedicate your whole lifetime to this “right person”… It’s when you have found “true love”…
Fine, cohabitation exists and is practiced. BUT it does not fulfill the same functions that a legal and socially recognized family does. Camps and homes are poles apart.
If marriage is a “legal sign of RESPONSIBILITY”, then it is not absolutely wrong to say that marriage is like a contraceptive. When the eyes of the law guard people’s acts, they refrain from acting “irresponsibly”, they refrain from abandoning their “illegitimate” child/children, they are actively conscious of their acts, and they ASSUME their “responsibility”, they limit it also—they choose to have fewer children either by ‘producing’ less or by having recourse to other contraceptives, BUT THEY DO NOT THROW AWAY THE BORN CHILD, because they are now LEGALLY RESPONSIBLE. Legal responsibility constrains the individual to bear the consequences of his/her own act in cases where moral responsibility does not suffice. In other words, marriage forces the individual to limit these consequences.
Plus, the level of education is what most influences the number of progeny people may have—it is no longer the social engagement, i.e., marriage. As people spring out of ignorance, they are beginning to realize that ‘marry’ and ‘multiply’ are not complements but altogether different concepts. In simple words, marriage is a choice; to have children or not is ANOTHER choice. Unwanted pregnancy is equally probable for unmarried couples as much as it is for married ones.
And we shouldn’t forget the risk of getting sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) also… AIDS is a major problem in the world…Where medical facilities are provided, the problem is not that people aren’t having checkups before partaking in sexual activities… The real problem is that they are hesitant to have checkups when they aren’t married—when they have a secret relationship unknown or unacknowledged by the society… Because they are afraid the beans may just be spilled …
Though being a non-virgin is different from being promiscuous, the world doesn’t differentiate. The world doesn’t care to… The eyes of people perceive “gray” as a tint of black. “Gray” is black mixed with white, that’s all. Who cares to ask: “How many partners do you have?” Maybe having only one partner makes a difference to the individual, but not to the society.
Why is it that “our feeling for our loved ones diminishes when we find out they’re not virgin anymore”?
It’s because we are made to realize that we are NOT the person whom the wine had been saved for... Especially when we are going to share it with someone who is already sozzled…
2) Religion
Yeah, religion binds me, fortunately (Thank you God!)… In Islam, it is STRICTLY PROHIBITED to have sexual relationships outside the circle of marriage. So is adultery. Actually, the 2 main purposes of marriage, which single out humans from animals, are:
(1) Procreation within the family unit, i.e., with all the required support, and
(2) ‘Healthy’ and approved sex.
PAUSE. A common misconception: Islam ALLOWS men to marry four times… But it’s marry to SOLVE A PROBLEM, NOT FOR YOUR OWN PLEASURE and WITH THE APPROVAL of the present wife/wives. And why aren’t women allowed so? Because, first, they are not the main provider of the family in most cases; second, females outnumber males when considering the whole world’s population. There are many other reasons… Well, that’s another debate… Let us come back to virginity in Islam…
Love is considered sacred. Love is divine. Love or sex loses its divinity when it is ‘distributed’ to anyone and everyone. Like faith diminishes when it is distributed amongst deities, instead of only one God. Virginity is PERSONAL-- it BELONGS to the individual; it is PART of the individual. When you marry someone, that person becomes a PART of you. Virginity should be given up to someone who is ALREADY A PART OF YOU (husband or wife) and not to someone who is NOT YET A PART OF YOU (a lover for e.g.).
If “the person to whom virginity is given up to” is what gives virginity its sacredness and importance, ergo it loses this sacredness and importance when it has already been given to someone else before?
Moreover, Islam sees it thus: Just like you are being unfaithful to your life partner when you commit the sin of adultery (have sex with someone else your partner), you are being unfaithful to your future life partner when you decide to lose your virginity well before marriage (have sex with someone who may not become your partner). Since there is no guarantee that: Sex partner= Life partner.
3) My Parents
If religion binds me, then parental love and care locks me up… :-)
My parents are quite sensitive about this issue… because of reasons 1) and 2) mentioned above…
And they wouldn’t like it at all if their daughter has been labeled with ‘names’, if she moves in society like a piece meant for mass publicity… I would think about them before taking any decision. For they have always thought about me… They have always cared about me… It’s my duty to care too… Love should be reciprocal, so should be care…
What is more, my parents have faith in me… I do have a say in decisions concerning my life… For they have faith I would choose what’s “right”, they have faith I would follow their teachings… And for nothing in this world am I ever going to break this faith. I admit, am kinda proud and afraid of this confidence. Proud for they’ve considered me worthy of it… But afraid that I might break it unconsciously or unintentionally… How truly it has been said: “Everything in life has a price”… Everything…
That’s one of the reasons why I prefer not to keep any boyfriend, however handsome, smart, cute and ideal the guy may be! Lol ;)
4) I
Apart from social, religious and cultural influences, I believe the individual somehow influences his or her own choices in life. We all have something peculiar, something specific to ourselves. Putting aside external factors, inner thoughts, beliefs or principles, which differ from one individual to another, also affect the decisions we may take.
Among inmate female friends, we often discuss about issues like “sex” or “virginity”, “marriage” or “cohabitation”… Curious as I am (he..he), I often ask my friends, especially those who have a boyfriend or boyfriends (LOL) the reason for which they would preserve their virginity…
One girl gave me a reply that really touched my heart. She said: “Because it’s the only thing I have that I can preserve”.
Someone else too gave a nice reply: “Because it’s the best gift that I can offer to someone who offers me his life”.
Ah…. It pleased me to know that my friends are on the safe side… At least they know the difference between sex and love… even if they have boyfriends… :-)
We finally come to me…. :-)
My “my reason” for which I chose to lead on this path, well, if I can express it this way:
It’s because I myself wouldn’t be comfortable at all to use tissue paper on which someone else has already sneezed… Then, how can I be so egocentric as to expect the opposite from the one who will be my partner?
Posted by Alpha*
Source: d'Corner of my CircLe
0.0
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So tell me. :P
If You have really started this topic.
Why Do some teens (both male and female) love every moment of it.
How could you say on something which you have not yet experienced. :P
Surveys suggest this *thing* is a on a 40 percent increase in Arab-dom heart of conservative ideologies.
There must be something you are missing.
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waita minute, are we talking about virginity or boyfriend/girlfriend relationships?
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Now I am grateful. Do I get a new Murcielago Roadster? ::)
I think we ought legalize abortion. ::)
0.0
Lol, I saw a long quote, and two small 0's. :D
At least, someone read.
So tell me. :P
If You have really started this topic.
I'm not making it a topic. I just brought here the comments Deadly_King wished to see. Besides, it's a private blog, so accessing it is a problem.
Why Do some teens (both male and female) love every moment of it.
Because they are still ignorant of the fact that it's temporary. What they love is the physical sensation only. But you don't keep flying in the sky forever.
How could you say on something which you have not yet experienced. :P
I haven't been an active participator. But I've at least seen others, watched their states. The fall is downright terrible. Those girls start having 'attacks', keep shouting at night... bla bla. ::)
Surveys suggest this *thing* is a on a 40 percent increase in Arab-dom heart of conservative ideologies.
Ah, there are many things surveys do not show. ;)
There must be something you are missing.
My dear Requiem, for every choice in life is a sacrifice. I've made the best I could. :)
waita minute, are we talking about virginity or boyfriend/girlfriend relationships?
Boyfriend/ girlfriend relationships, where in virginity hops up.
Don't worry, I'll make sure to moderate this closely. ;)
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Boyfriend/ girlfriend relationships, where in virginity hops up.
Don't worry, I'll make sure to moderate this closely. ;)
Oh okay cool
lemme take part too :P
first, the line between a best friend of the opposite gender and a gf/bf is a very thin one. Best friend being of the opposite gender is not impossible, but i see on most cases one of the two always end up having feelings, be it from the beginning or later on, feelings are eventually there one way or another; too many friendships i have seen being ruined because of this, its too awkward, and sometimes the one who is liked might agree to dating just for the sake of the fear of losing that person (again, i've seen to many of those, and not a single one worked out properly)
bf/gf relationships i do not oppose, provided the two people involved are mature and responsible enough. in general, i would say that by the age of 16 true feelings towards someone can develop. however, one must always be careful. Regardless of age, a heart shattering will take long to heal, if it ever does.
i am not discussing religion, i just want to point out to the fact that the 2 major religions of the world, Christianity and Islam, both prohibit premarital sex while Hinduism and Buddhism both "heavily discourage" it, and i think thats enough to make it clear that no unwed couple should ever have premarital sex. however even if this was not the case, one needs to remember that the physical sensation they get out of sex, is deemed worthless, not so valuable when it is given up so easily. virginity is something that when is gone, it will never be back. why give it up for someone who is not your "true love"? if she/he is your "true love" then why are you not getting married? be it legal or religious marriage, marriage, being legal or sacred is the one and only way of sealing a relationship.
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I think we ought legalize abortion. ::)
Lol, I saw a long quote, and two small 0's. :D
At least, someone read.
I'm not making it a topic. I just brought here the comments Deadly_King wished to see. Besides, it's a private blog, so accessing it is a problem.
Because they are still ignorant of the fact that it's temporary. What they love is the physical sensation only. But you don't keep flying in the sky forever.
I haven't been an active participator. But I've at least seen others, watched their states. The fall is downright terrible. Those girls start having 'attacks', keep shouting at night... bla bla. ::)
Ah, there are many things surveys do not show. ;)
My dear Requiem, for every choice in life is a sacrifice. I've made the best I could. :)
Boyfriend/ girlfriend relationships, where in virginity hops up.
Don't worry, I'll make sure to moderate this closely. ;)
0.0
EDIT : add some text man !!
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Oh okay cool
lemme take part too :P
first, the line between a best friend of the opposite gender and a gf/bf is a very thin one. Best friend being of the opposite gender is not impossible, but i see on most cases one of the two always end up having feelings, be it from the beginning or later on, feelings are eventually there one way or another; too many friendships i have seen being ruined because of this, its too awkward, and sometimes the one who is liked might agree to dating just for the sake of the fear of losing that person (again, i've seen to many of those, and not a single one worked out properly)
bf/gf relationships i do not oppose, provided the two people involved are mature and responsible enough. in general, i would say that by the age of 16 true feelings towards someone can develop. however, one must always be careful. Regardless of age, a heart shattering will take long to heal, if it ever does.
i am not discussing religion, i just want to point out to the fact that the 2 major religions of the world, Christianity and Islam, both prohibit premarital sex while Hinduism and Buddhism both "heavily discourage" it, and i think thats enough to make it clear that no unwed couple should ever have premarital sex. however even if this was not the case, one needs to remember that the physical sensation they get out of sex, is deemed worthless, not so valuable when it is given up so easily. virginity is something that when is gone, it will never be back. why give it up for someone who is not your "true love"? if she/he is your "true love" then why are you not getting married? be it legal or religious marriage, marriage, being legal or sacred is the one and only way of sealing a relationship.
O_O Helluva experience you have there mate.
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Oh okay cool
lemme take part too :P
first, the line between a best friend of the opposite gender and a gf/bf is a very thin one. Best friend being of the opposite gender is not impossible, but i see on most cases one of the two always end up having feelings, be it from the beginning or later on, feelings are eventually there one way or another; too many friendships i have seen being ruined because of this, its too awkward, and sometimes the one who is liked might agree to dating just for the sake of the fear of losing that person (again, i've seen to many of those, and not a single one worked out properly)
bf/gf relationships i do not oppose, provided the two people involved are mature and responsible enough. in general, i would say that by the age of 16 true feelings towards someone can develop. however, one must always be careful. Regardless of age, a heart shattering will take long to heal, if it ever does.
i am not discussing religion, i just want to point out to the fact that the 2 major religions of the world, Christianity and Islam, both prohibit premarital sex while Hinduism and Buddhism both "heavily discourage" it, and i think thats enough to make it clear that no unwed couple should ever have premarital sex. however even if this was not the case, one needs to remember that the physical sensation they get out of sex, is deemed worthless, not so valuable when it is given up so easily. virginity is something that when is gone, it will never be back. why give it up for someone who is not your "true love"? if she/he is your "true love" then why are you not getting married? be it legal or religious marriage, marriage, being legal or sacred is the one and only way of sealing a relationship.
16 you said... TBH, I find 16 year old kids who try to play grown ups plain stupid. I'm not including everyone, but the majority, majority, still... need to grow up.
0.0
EDIT : add some text man !!
Is that coded language? :P
O_O Helluva experience you have there mate.
Can't disagree with that. :D
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Can't disagree with that. :D
He must be a playa :P
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He must be a playa :P
Naah. He's a good guy.
Unlike some. :P
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Naah. He's a good guy.
Unlike some. :P
Only players can recognize players. :P
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Only players can recognize players. :P
Bleh. Don't live in that Casanova illusion.
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Bleh. Don't live in that Casanova illusion.
Nope. That's a fact. ::)
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Nope. That's a fact. ::)
In your mind.
Your mind is not the world. ;)
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In your mind.
Your mind is not the world. ;)
I don't declare facts. Research do.
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I don't declare facts. Research do.
That does not sound convincing. Your 'research'.
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I liked a gal who used to be in my 3rd grade class....after that i lost touch with her...then reconnected with her about 6 months back...We're both 16 now. :P
I did have other crushes in the last 4-5 years, but this one gal NEVER left my mind...however she's hardly interested in talking to me...even after I confessed about liking her to the very concerned person , and all I ever hear about her is that the number of ex-bfs she's had is greater than her age! :D :D :D
...for those of you questioning what love is, as an experience, MAYBE my story's a good example of 'love', although a bit cruel (for me at least). :D
But yeah, I don't really believe this Gf/Bf business goes anywhere....in the end, if the one you're currently with sees someone with better looks, influence, money or fame, you know they're probably gonna cheat or leave, unless you two are dead serious. ;D
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Why are you laughing so much? ::)
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Why are you laughing so much? ::)
because you have forgotten how to laugh ::) :P
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I liked a gal who used to be in my 3rd grade class....after that i lost touch with her...then reconnected with her about 6 months back...We're both 16 now. :P
I did have other crushes in the last 4-5 years, but this one gal NEVER left my mind...however she's hardly interested in talking to me...even after I confessed about liking her to the very concerned person , and all I ever hear about her is that the number of ex-bfs she's had is greater than her age! :D :D :D
...for those of you questioning what love is, as an experience, MAYBE my story's a good example of 'love', although a bit cruel (for me at least). :D
But yeah, I don't really believe this Gf/Bf business goes anywhere....in the end, if the one you're currently with sees someone with better looks, influence, money or fame, you know they're probably gonna cheat or leave, unless you two are dead serious. ;D
Dude there is a difference between one night stand and Relationship :/.
In Our society aka South Asia and Middle east if somehow you get into a relationship before marriage, it is usually serious
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That does not sound convincing. Your 'research'.
You're a psychology student? Then should not have messed with you ::)
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Dude there is a difference between one night stand and Relationship :/.
In Our society aka South Asia and Middle east if somehow you get into a relationship before marriage, it is usually serious
That's right. But I think he meant 7 nights stand. :P
Not true. Generalization.
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Dude there is a difference between one night stand and Relationship :/.
In Our society aka South Asia and Middle east if somehow you get into a relationship before marriage, it is usually serious
You're funny :P
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You're a psychology student? Then should not have messed with you ::)
Nope... But I guess I have a brain... :P
What do my subjects gotta do with that?
That's right. But I think he meant 7 nights stand. :P
Not true. Generalization.
Yeah, generalization. ::)
Nevertheless, there are some who really are... wonderful.
You're funny :P
That made me remember the Nid before... in the Debates thread. :D The serious serious Nid.
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Seriousness kills :P
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Seriousness kills :P
Don't tell me who told you that. I know. :P
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Don't tell me who told you that. I know. :P
Saifalan aka The Joker 8)
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Saifalan aka The Joker 8)
Naah... ::)
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Don't tell me who told you that. I know. :P
Who did? ::)
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Naah... ::)
Kratos ?
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Kratos ?
Naah...
Who did? ::)
Lol, I'm not interested in getting killed. ;D
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lol no seriously it's something I've realized myself ;D
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@Garfield: I'm only laughing bcoz it all seems so idiotic now, having fallen for that gal such a long time back...now it just seems like an old childhood infatuation that refuses to leave my head. :D
@Requiem: I wasn't talking about a one-night stand at all.No, not even 7 of 'em. :\
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Still laughing? :P It's ok, you can hide it here but I know it hurts :) You deserve much better mate. ;)
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16 you said... TBH, I find 16 year old kids who try to play grown ups plain stupid. I'm not including everyone, but the majority, majority, still... need to grow up.
i agree. but i just want to add that they dont have to play grown ups, just take things slowly, and innocently
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Nope... But I guess I have a brain... :P
What do my subjects gotta do with that?
That means you don't know.
I thought you caught me. ::)
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Don't tell me who told you that. I know. :P
Hey Hey stop imitating me.
-.-
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Still laughing? :P It's ok, you can hide it here but I know it hurts :) You deserve much better mate. ;)
Agreed. :)
Munsif has to be grateful to his luck for not including him as little puppy in that pet collection. ::)
i agree. but i just want to add that they dont have to play grown ups, just take things slowly, and innocently
Ahem... Innocently... I doubt that. ::)
That means you don't know.
I thought you caught me. ::)
Do you know I didn't...?
Hey Hey stop imitating me.
-.-
Am I? Naah. 8)
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You do man..
I was making you curious yesterday, you learned it and now you are doing this to everyone else :P
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You do man..
I was making you curious yesterday, you learned it and now you are doing this to everyone else :P
Primo, I'm not a "man".
And secondo, you forget too soon. It was you who had first been made curious... days... and weeks ago. :P
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Defeated. * :-X
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Defeated. * :-X
hahahaha....... i expected that especially when you are debating with Alpha :P
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No No boy,i have not lost in this debate.
It is just that she knows something poisonous :-[
I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who conquers his enemies, for the hardest victory is over self.-Aristotle
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No No boy,i have not lost in this debate.
It is just that she knows something poisonous :-[
I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who conquers his enemies, for the hardest victory is over self.-Aristotle
Rightly said br0.........you should never let anyone defeat you unless you are on the wrong track :P
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Defeated. * :-X
Trapped* :P 8)
hahahaha....... i expected that especially when you are debating with Alpha :P
Guess you were bored of the ban on Chit Chat. ;)
No No boy,i have not lost in this debate.
It is just that she knows something poisonous :-[
I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who conquers his enemies, for the hardest victory is over self.-Aristotle
You speak some sense. :P
Rightly said br0.........you should never let anyone defeat you unless you are on the wrong track :P
To be highlighted.
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hahahaHAHAHAHHAHAAHA
Mauritians man.they get delighted on silly things :P
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Guess you were bored of the ban on Chit Chat. ;)
To be highlighted.
Hahahaha.......perhaps :P
Yepz......u r right.....take note of that requiem!
@Rquiem : Who told you we got delighted??? :P
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hahahaHAHAHAHHAHAAHA
Mauritians man.they get delighted on silly things :P
We'll be delighted when Mozart will play the real Requiem for you.
It's just a trailer boy. ::)
Hahahaha.......perhaps :P
Yepz......u r right.....take note of that requiem!
@Rquiem : Who told you we got delighted??? :P
Mauritian-phobia ::)
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We'll be delighted when Mozart will play the real Requiem for you.
It's just a trailer boy. ::)
Mauritian-phobia ::)
hehehe.......Alpha you are being a bit hard on him...........you'll make him run away in a matter of time if you continue like this :P
hahahahaa...........i guess you are right ;D
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hehehe.......Alpha you are being a bit hard on him...........you'll make him run away in a matter of time if you continue like this :P
hahahahaa...........i guess you are right ;D
Bit hard?
Almost a year, he didn't run.
He's tough.
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Bit hard?
Almost a year, he didn't run.
He's tough.
w0w......keep it up then :P
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If only it went down. :D
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If only it went down. :D
Guess you are not so lucky :P
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Guess you are not so lucky :P
Now maybe I will. There's another Mauritian-prey on board. :D
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Now maybe I will. There's another Mauritian-prey on board. :D
Hahahahaha.......i'll not bet on that. Ask Requiem....he'll tell you all about Mauritians :P
I think he has enough experience to advice you ;D
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Hahahahaha.......i'll not bet on that. Ask Requiem....he'll tell you all about Mauritians :P
I think he has enough experience to advice you ;D
We're deviating from the topic... ::)
Stick to it. ;)
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hehe.....yupz you are right!
But we are not to be blamed........the topic is such that one is easily distracted :P
Anw........we gotta admit that these form pf relationships are becoming fashionable and common in most developing countries!!
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hehe.....yupz you are right!
But we are not to be blamed........the topic is such that one is easily distracted :P
Anw........we gotta admit that these form pf relationships are becoming fashionable and common in most developing countries!!
Developed to developing. 'Progress', supposedly. ::)
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Developed to developing. 'Progress', supposedly. ::)
Yeah........am afraid it will also affect under-developped ones!!
WE have not been spared!
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Yeah........am afraid it will also affect under-developped ones!!
WE have not been spared!
True, Mauritius is no exception.
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True, Mauritius is no exception.
Exactly.......that was the main thing i wanted Requiem to know previously :)
However...........there are wise individuals who manage to cope without these relationships!
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Exactly.......that was the main thing i wanted Requiem to know previously :)
However...........there are wise individuals who manage to cope without these relationships!
Wise individuals... ::)
I laughed. Cause am Mauritian. :P
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Wise individuals... ::)
I laughed. Cause am Mauritian. :P
hahaha..........i knew you would say something like dat :P
Those wise individuals.......understand the risks!
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To get back to the topic:
I think there is no point in going out/dating if you're not serious, but there's no point in being too serious about someone at too young an age. i.e. an age at which you don't want to marry yet.
Dating plenty of different people is a bad thing, cos you'll probably start comparing them and then you'll never be staisfied, until you stop.
When you date you get really attached to a person, and then when you break up (which is almost inevitable) your heart breaks and that person is left with a piece of it.
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23 pages. This topic has been discussed thoroughly :D
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To get back to the topic:
I think there is no point in going out/dating if you're not serious, but there's no point in being too serious about someone at too young an age. i.e. an age at which you don't want to marry yet.
Dating plenty of different people is a bad thing, cos you'll probably start comparing them and then you'll never be staisfied, until you stop.
When you date you get really attached to a person, and then when you break up (which is almost inevitable) your heart breaks and that person is left with a piece of it.
I really loved that part, well-expressed, +rep. :)
@ Ari, but still, the topic is living. Long long life actually. :D
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To get back to the topic:
I think there is no point in going out/dating if you're not serious, but there's no point in being too serious about someone at too young an age. i.e. an age at which you don't want to marry yet.
Dating plenty of different people is a bad thing, cos you'll probably start comparing them and then you'll never be staisfied, until you stop.
When you date you get really attached to a person, and then when you break up (which is almost inevitable) your heart breaks and that person is left with a piece of it.
In other words, you are saying that marriage is sacred and essential in the life of every individual, right?
Humans have a weakness. They are never satisfied with what they have. ;)
If you're really attached to that person and the same comes your way, then break up is evitable.
@ Ari : Sorry for adding a few more pages ;)
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In other words, you are saying that marriage is sacred and essential in the life of every individual, right?
Humans have a weakness. They are never satisfied with what they have. ;)
If you're really attached to that person and the same comes your way, then break up is evitable.
@ Ari : Sorry for adding a few more pages ;)
Read the previous posts. They're all so>>> :D :D :D
I am supposed to be gone, and still reading that. :P
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i am totally against such relationships.. aj kal committment is like a status symbol...
jis bunday ki aik do girl friends na hon...wo old fashioned sa hota hy...
ppl are hurting other ppl's feelings for no good reason.. just for FUN
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i am totally against such relationships.. aj kal committment is like a status symbol...
jis bunday ki aik do girl friends na hon...wo old fashioned sa hota hy...
ppl are hurting other ppl's feelings for no good reason.. just for FUN
I agree with you. Some guys just go out with each other just to show off that they have a gf or bf. Its complete rubbish. >:(
You should not care what others think about you. Just do what your heart and mind tells you is appropriate for you. ;)
We don't need to be fashionable to live in this world.
There a lot of other means of having fun without hurting one's feelings. :)
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yeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaah right....
why ruin the other person's lifee....
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I agree with you. Some guys just go out with each other just to show off that they have a gf or bf. Its complete rubbish. >:(
You should not care what others think about you. Just do what your heart and mind tells you is appropriate for you. ;)
We don't need to be fashionable to live in this world.
There a lot of other means of having fun without hurting one's feelings. :)
Having a male/ female bodyguard and an emotional bulldozer is considered to be 'fashionable'? ::)
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I dont this is topic was ever debated on in the true sense of the meaning of the word debate. ::)
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Having a male/ female bodyguard and an emotional bulldozer is considered to be 'fashionable'? ::)
Nowadays it is. ;D
I don't think it's for the sole purpose of bodyguard! That's a very trivial reason.
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I dont this is topic was ever debated on in the true sense of the meaning of the word debate. ::)
It was. Earlier but. :P
Nowadays it is. ;D
I don't think it's for the sole purpose of bodyguard! That's a very trivial reason.
LOL, yeah. That is also true. ::)
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Girlfriend and Boyfriend relationship...
They meet at one place, have meal, shop together, leisure time for both...then, after words, the male one realizes, his pocket is evacuated. ;D
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Girlfriend and Boyfriend relationship...
They meet at one place, have meal, shop together, leisure time for both...then, after words, the male one realizes, his pocket is evacuated. ;D
That's another reason why remaining friends should be favoured.
Neither the male nor the female will end up with empty pockets then. ;)
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That's another reason why remaining friends should be favoured.
Neither the male nor the female will end up with empty pockets then. ;)
I would rather accept opposite of Friend as :
Friend X Girl Friend
:D
Replace the names, you will get to know. haha.
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I would rather accept opposite of Friend as :
Friend X Girl Friend
:D
Replace the names, you will get to know. haha.
Which names? :-\
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I would rather accept opposite of Friend as :
Friend X Girl Friend
:D
Replace the names, you will get to know. haha.
You are being a bit harsh there buddy. :(
It's quite wonderful to have girls as friends. ;)
Sometimes they might understand you better than a boy would.
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Yeahhh- just how I understand my girlfriend ;D
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Yeahhh- just how I understand my girlfriend ;D
Hehe...........you actually admitted something here. :P
Read the posts again..............you'll realise what i mean, ;)
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You are being a bit harsh there buddy. :(
It's quite wonderful to have girls as friends. ;)
Sometimes they might understand you better than a boy would.
I know you have a very soft corner for them, but is it that only they rock, no they only talk... :P
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I know you have a very soft corner for them, but is it that only they rock, no they only talk... :P
Seems that you don't have very good experience with girls.
I admit some of them are very annoying, but still this is not the general trend.
My best friend is a girl. I can tell for sure, no one would have understood me better than her. ANd she'll tell you the same thing about me. ;)
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Can I not jest ? :P
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Can I not jest ? :P
Sure you can. ;)
You are actually making me defend girls! :P
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Seems that you don't have very good experience with girls.
I admit some of them are very annoying, but still this is not the general trend.
My best friend is a girl. I can tell for sure, no one would have understood me better than her. ANd she'll tell you the same thing about me. ;)
girls understand humans (both guys and girls) much better than girls
but guys do a much better job keeping secrets than girls
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i personally feel that having a bf/gf complicates your life, you lie to your parents, ans especially those who date at the age of like 13 to 17/18, they aren't mature enough it, they will be having the feeling that "yes!this guy loves me alot and will be my life partner" then a few days later they start getting bored of each other and break-up.
this way your not just cheating others but yourself as well. :o
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Against it. Completely. Fer me, love is after marriage only. (:
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i am totally fine with it !!
but if some ask me if i would want into relationship ! i would say no because i believe whatever people call love is just attraction and love doesn't exist
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girls understand humans (both guys and girls) much better than girls
but guys do a much better job keeping secrets than girls
Very true in both cases ;)
i personally feel that having a bf/gf complicates your life, you lie to your parents, ans especially those who date at the age of like 13 to 17/18, they aren't mature enough it, they will be having the feeling that "yes!this guy loves me alot and will be my life partner" then a few days later they start getting bored of each other and break-up.
this way your not just cheating others but yourself as well. :o
Same feeling ;)
You need to be mature enough to feel and understand true love! And a mere teen is not competent to do it ;)
Against it. Completely. Fer me, love is after marriage only. (:
Love can take place before marriage and that eventually ends up in marriage ;)
i am totally fine with it !!
but if some ask me if i would want into relationship ! i would say no because i believe whatever people call love is just attraction and love doesn't exist
Then it's not fine if you are not ready to experience it yourself ;)
You should love for others things which you love for yourself!
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Love can take place before marriage and that eventually ends up in marriage ;)
I agree. But, it's not possible if we are brought in a strict family. ;)
I myself would love to know the kind of person I am getting married to- to at least know his personality. :D
ps- you use winks a lot! :P :P
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I agree. But, it's not possible if we are brought in a strict family. ;)
I myself would love to know the kind of person I am getting married to- to at least know his personality. :D
ps- you use winks a lot! :P :P
Even within a strict family it's possible!
You never know when you'll get struck with Cupid's arrow? ::)
Of course you need to know the person's character and personality before marrying him.
P.S : I know ;D And that angers Mony :P
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Even within a strict family it's possible!
You never know when you'll get struck with Cupid's arrow? ::)
Of course you need to know the person's character and personality before marrying him.
P.S : I know ;D And that angers Mony :P
I agree with that even though I dont want to be in love long before marriage but I do want to know the person I'll be spending the rest of my life with
You know you can get engaged first and then marry later on when you feel its right ::)
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Even within a strict family it's possible!
You never know when you'll get struck with Cupid's arrow? ::)
Of course you need to know the person's character and personality before marrying him.
P.S : I know ;D And that angers Mony :P
Trust me, not in mine. ::)
My entire family is really strict but alhamdullah my parents are comparatively open-minded! :D
I hope so I get to! :P
Lol ! :P
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Trust me, not in mine. ::)
My entire family is really strict but alhamdullah my parents are comparatively open-minded! :D
I hope so I get to! :P
Lol ! :P
LOL, my mom always says that in older times people used to get married without seeing each other and yet they used to live a happy life but then I say that people in that time werent that mean and selfish but in this era lies and fakeness is all very common ::)
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LOL, my mom always says that in older times people used to get married without seeing each other and yet they used to live a happy life but then I say that people in that time werent that mean and selfish but in this era lies and fakeness is all very common ::)
Haha! I know. . . The typical arrange marriage era. ::)
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I don't like these relationships, and i don't have enough time.
They all end the same way, and there is always someone who is not happy about it.
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Well Said ^
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I don't like these relationships, and i don't have enough time.
They all end the same way, and there is always someone who is not happy about it.
You feel the same way about marriage?
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I believe in love after marriage. I am perfectly fine with not having 'dated' my fiance before marriage; if I have a confirmation about a few things that matter to me, I don't care to meet him or talk to him before marriage. It's okay if I know someone before marriage when they propose to me, but it's not important. I would want though that the proposal is accepted by the boy and he doesn't just 'let' his parents make the decision. That's all ^^ And don't get me wrong, I don't say this because this is how it's done in my society, or my family won't let me hang out with boys, or whatever. Been there, done that; found this to the smart religious analogy most of us find orthodox but I think it's a wise tenet of faith.
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You feel the same way about marriage?
Nah, Just talking about Boyfriend, and girlfriend relationships. I don't consider them as relationships to be honest.
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girlfriends and boyfreinds are such a waste of time especially wen ur in high school. i mean wats da point of having an affair wid one guy wen u kno u r gonna end up getting married wid another altho this isnt always da case but deres alwys a 50-50 risk of da relationship not working out. so why risk it?
and esp in islamic society where the girls purity(if she had previuos relationships or not) is so important at da time of marriage..!
i hate da american culture of dating... where u hav to go through so many guys/girls b4 u find da "right one"...wat pple fail to notice is dat on the process of finding this so-called right one..they are actually getting USED( if u kno wat i mean!)
lastly, MAY ALLAH PROTECT ALL OF US FROM THINGS THAT ARE AGAINST OUR RELIGION..AMEEN!
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You should love for others things which you love for yourself!
i didnt get you there ! :-\ :-\ :-\
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I believe in love after marriage. I am perfectly fine with not having 'dated' my fiance before marriage; if I have a confirmation about a few things that matter to me, I don't care to meet him or talk to him before marriage. It's okay if I know someone before marriage when they propose to me, but it's not important. I would want though that the proposal is accepted by the boy and he doesn't just 'let' his parents make the decision. That's all ^^ And don't get me wrong, I don't say this because this is how it's done in my society, or my family won't let me hang out with boys, or whatever. Been there, done that; found this to the smart religious analogy most of us find orthodox but I think it's a wise tenet of faith.
I really like your point of view Chingoo :D
If only every girl though like you ;)
girlfriends and boyfreinds are such a waste of time especially wen ur in high school. i mean wats the point of having an affair wid one guy wen u kno u r gonna end up getting married wid another altho this isnt always the case but deres alwys a 50-50 risk of the relationship not working out. so why risk it?
and esp in islamic society where the girls purity(if she had previuos relationships or not) is so important at the time of marriage..!
i hate the american culture of dating... where u hav to go through so many guys/girls b4 u find the "right one"...wat pple fail to notice is dat on the process of finding this so-called right one..they are actually getting USED( if u kno wat i mean!)
lastly, MAY ALLAH PROTECT ALL OF US FROM THINGS THAT ARE AGAINST OUR RELIGION..AMEEN!
Ameen :)
Very good opinion ;)
i didnt get you there ! :-\ :-\ :-\
If you yourself does not want to experience such things, then you cannot say that you are fine with it ;)
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cant really remember my opinion when i initially posted here, but yea here what i think of such relationships now
it depends on what you want out of such relationships
Theres one type of relationships, the most popular one in highschool and pre-U and to some extent also in uni, back home we call it Masik Zaman, or Holding Time, basically both parties are fully convinced that they are entering a relationship that is bound to end with a break up (and not marriage), where basically both parties just need someone to care for them or they want to take care of someone.
Such relationships are fun and nice and whatnot, but it tells a lot about how weak you are
Another type is friends with benefit. Basically no emotions, just boom boom. Makes me lose faith in humanity when i think of those.
A third type, and this i would like anyone to oppose, is when seeing someone of the opposite sex as a potential life partner, you get to know him, slowly fall in love with, spontaneously enter a relationship, and as time passes by it gets more and more serious and eventually sees a proposal and a marriage.
While I mainly avoid judging people based on their relationships, the first two types of relationships i find demeaning to the partner, and it always will somehow end up becoming a phantom that will chase you throughout your life
third type is one i viciously agree with, but people need to keep in mind things such as religious backgrounds before allowing themselves into entering one,those who do not, then i see they lie to themselves, and i will actually categorize such relationships as belonging to the first category rather than the third.
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If you yourself does not want to experience such things, then you cannot say that you are fine with it ;)
by my earlier statement i mean i am not against relationships and dont dislike anyone who is into it ! but at the same time i know that all the so called love which they mention the root behind it is fake !! and i do call fake stuff ! fake :)
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Something has been troubling my mind lately.
My Cousin ,his mom is my Auntie and his dad is a Saudi. The other day I was talking to him and the topic of "Dating" came up and so I asked him whether he is dating a girl or not. I know that some of his best friends are girls that he usually tells them "I love you babe/I miss you babe". He comes from a Noble family so the idea of "Dating" is sort of a "Taboo" according to his family.
Anyways he said "Yes , I have a girlfriend" and then I asked him some Questions about her and he showed me her picture. What pissed me off really bad was when I asked him " What if your sister was dating a guy now , what would you do? ha?"..
he replied by saying " I'll beat the heel out of him , I won't even let her date a guy in the first place >:("..
I told him : " Well , then why can YOU date while she CAN'T"
He replied by saying : " She is my responsibility , her reputation is my responsibility too"
I replied : " You think your reputation won't be ruined for going with girls"
he said : " No , because I'm a guy"
I was really pissed because if a guy who dated girls and stuff like that proposed to his sister ,I am sure she'll reject him without hesitation.
It breaks my heart when I know such ruthless boys exist.
Now how the hell can I "OPEN HIS EYES" and let him realize what he's doing is wrong.
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Something has been troubling my mind lately.
My Cousin ,his mom is my Auntie and his dad is a Saudi. The other day I was talking to him and the topic of "Dating" came up and so I asked him whether he is dating a girl or not. I know that some of his best friends are girls that he usually tells them "I love you babe/I miss you babe". He comes from a Noble family so the idea of "Dating" is sort of a "Taboo" according to his family.
Anyways he said "Yes , I have a girlfriend" and then I asked him some Questions about her and he showed me her picture. What pissed me off really bad was when I asked him " What if your sister was dating a guy now , what would you do? ha?"..
he replied by saying " I'll beat the heel out of him , I won't even let her date a guy in the first place >:("..
I told him : " Well , then why can YOU date while she CAN'T"
He replied by saying : " She is my responsibility , her reputation is my responsibility too"
I replied : " You think your reputation won't be ruined for going with girls"
he said : " No , because I'm a guy"
I was really pissed because if a guy who dated girls and stuff like that proposed to his sister ,I am sure she'll reject him without hesitation.
It breaks my heart when I know such ruthless boys exist.
Now how the hell can I "OPEN HIS EYES" and let him realize what he's doing is wrong.
I know such guys who like having girl friends but if their sisters do, they would kill them.
It is just sad.
Well, mainly it's all how he is brought up.
In my family, if guys have girl friends it's fine and if I talk to a guy then they all freak out. =,=
Anyways, to be honest. . . I really dunno what can be done if he is not ready to accept that what he is doing is wrong.
The change must be from his side. He has to realize what he is doing is completely wrong.
Having friends who are girls is fine as long as our intentions is clean.
You can try talking to him to advice him from yer side as much as possible.
Sorry I cannot be of much help! :-[
Good luck! (:
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Something has been troubling my mind lately.
My Cousin ,his mom is my Auntie and his dad is a Saudi. The other day I was talking to him and the topic of "Dating" came up and so I asked him whether he is dating a girl or not. I know that some of his best friends are girls that he usually tells them "I love you babe/I miss you babe". He comes from a Noble family so the idea of "Dating" is sort of a "Taboo" according to his family.
Anyways he said "Yes , I have a girlfriend" and then I asked him some Questions about her and he showed me her picture. What pissed me off really bad was when I asked him " What if your sister was dating a guy now , what would you do? ha?"..
he replied by saying " I'll beat the heel out of him , I won't even let her date a guy in the first place >:("..
I told him : " Well , then why can YOU date while she CAN'T"
He replied by saying : " She is my responsibility , her reputation is my responsibility too"
I replied : " You think your reputation won't be ruined for going with girls"
he said : " No , because I'm a guy"
I was really pissed because if a guy who dated girls and stuff like that proposed to his sister ,I am sure she'll reject him without hesitation.
It breaks my heart when I know such ruthless boys exist.
Now how the hell can I "OPEN HIS EYES" and let him realize what he's doing is wrong.
Most of the muslim guys which date are all like this,many of my friends are like this :(
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Most of the muslim guys which date are all like this,many of my friends are like this :(
Ya3ni banat 2ilnas 2il3ab feehom li3b lakon 25tak laaa 7aram... heeya 3ardee ...well banat 2ilnas homma 2a3rad 2aba2hom obviously =.= >:(
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Ya3ni banat 2ilnas 2il3ab feehom li3b lakon 25tak laaa 7aram... heeya 3ardee ...well banat 2ilnas homma 2a3rad 2aba2hom obviously =.= >:(
English please. =,=
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English please. =,=
Sorry I said :
So you playing with other people's daughters is "Okay" but others playing with your sister is "haraaam" ... She is your responsibility ...well these girl\s are their father's responsibility too obviously =.= >:(
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Sorry I said :
So you playing with other people's daughters is "Okay" but others playing with your sister is "haraaam" ... She is your responsibility ...well these girl\s are their father's responsibility too obviously =.= >:(
No problem.
Sigh*
I posted earlier. Dunno if yuh read it.
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I don't think so , Would you mind quoting it for me ?
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I don't think so , Would you mind quoting it for me ?
HERE:
Something has been troubling my mind lately.
My Cousin ,his mom is my Auntie and his dad is a Saudi. The other day I was talking to him and the topic of "Dating" came up and so I asked him whether he is dating a girl or not. I know that some of his best friends are girls that he usually tells them "I love you babe/I miss you babe". He comes from a Noble family so the idea of "Dating" is sort of a "Taboo" according to his family.
Anyways he said "Yes , I have a girlfriend" and then I asked him some Questions about her and he showed me her picture. What pissed me off really bad was when I asked him " What if your sister was dating a guy now , what would you do? ha?"..
he replied by saying " I'll beat the heel out of him , I won't even let her date a guy in the first place >:("..
I told him : " Well , then why can YOU date while she CAN'T"
He replied by saying : " She is my responsibility , her reputation is my responsibility too"
I replied : " You think your reputation won't be ruined for going with girls"
he said : " No , because I'm a guy"
I was really pissed because if a guy who dated girls and stuff like that proposed to his sister ,I am sure she'll reject him without hesitation.
It breaks my heart when I know such ruthless boys exist.
Now how the hell can I "OPEN HIS EYES" and let him realize what he's doing is wrong.
I know such guys who like having girl friends but if their sisters do, they would kill them.
It is just sad.
Well, mainly it's all how he is brought up.
In my family, if guys have girl friends it's fine and if I talk to a guy then they all freak out. =,=
Anyways, to be honest. . . I really dunno what can be done if he is not ready to accept that what he is doing is wrong.
The change must be from his side. He has to realize what he is doing is completely wrong.
Having friends who are girls is fine as long as our intentions is clean.
You can try talking to him to advice him from yer side as much as possible.
Sorry I cannot be of much help! :-[
Good luck! (:
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HERE:
I know such guys who like having girl friends but if their sisters do, they would kill them.
It is just sad.
Well, mainly it's all how he is brought up.
In my family, if guys have girl friends it's fine and if I talk to a guy then they all freak out. =,=
Anyways, to be honest. . . I really dunno what can be done if he is not ready to accept that what he is doing is wrong.
The change must be from his side. He has to realize what he is doing is completely wrong.
Having friends who are girls is fine as long as our intentions is clean.
You can try talking to him to advice him from yer side as much as possible.
Sorry I cannot be of much help! :-[
Good luck! (:
By the way you just quoted me ?!
IKR , Ditto =.=
No Problem , I just hope he actually listens :-\
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By the way you just quoted me ?!
IKR , Ditto =.=
No Problem , I just hope he actually listens :-\
Yeah, I guess.
I hope so too.
Tell him: LOWER YER GAZE. >:(
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Yeah, I guess.
I hope so too.
Tell him: LOWER YER GAZE. >:(
He's not religious to be honest , but I'll do my best inshAllah =]
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He's not religious to be honest , but I'll do my best inshAllah =]
I will pray fer yuh and him too, IA. (:
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I will pray fer yuh and him too, IA. (:
Thanks sis :)
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I never understood one thing... From the boy's side, if he dates a girl, its entirely his loss. He will be distracted from his studies and other more important things. HE will have to spend money for dates. He will have to "maintain secrecy" if he is from a family which considers dating to be a taboo. In short, HE will have to bear all the trouble and pain.
Now what does he GAIN from dating? Showing off to other friends does not constitute to any monetary or material gain. In some cases, a sexual relationship may be possible. However, it is not worth considering all the trouble one has to go through. In short, you're in a very bad business deal if you are dating a girl. ::)
So, why are boys so curious to date a girl?? ??? ???
*Golden girl: show him this post of mine. :P *
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I never understood one thing... From the boy's side, if he dates a girl, its entirely his loss. He will be distracted from his studies and other more important things. HE will have to spend money for dates. He will have to "maintain secrecy" if he is from a family which considers dating to be a taboo. In short, HE will have to bear all the trouble and pain.
Now what does he GAIN from dating? Showing off to other friends does not constitute to any monetary or material gain. In some cases, a sexual relationship may be possible. However, it is not worth considering all the trouble one has to go through. In short, you're in a very bad business deal if you are dating a girl. ::)
So, why are boys so curious to date a girl?? ??? ???
*Golden girl: show him this post of mine. :P *
lol...so true
actually this goes for most people(girls aswell).....why cant they just be friends......according to me "love" in most cases complicates people's life.
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I never understood one thing... From the boy's side, if he dates a girl, its entirely his loss. He will be distracted from his studies and other more important things. HE will have to spend money for dates. He will have to "maintain secrecy" if he is from a family which considers dating to be a taboo. In short, HE will have to bear all the trouble and pain.
Now what does he GAIN from dating? Showing off to other friends does not constitute to any monetary or material gain. In some cases, a sexual relationship may be possible. However, it is not worth considering all the trouble one has to go through. In short, you're in a very bad business deal if you are dating a girl. ::)
So, why are boys so curious to date a girl?? ??? ???
*Golden girl: show him this post of mine. :P *
His Mom gives me money to be honest , plus now his girlfriend isn't in town and hence he is not going on dates.
He actually talked about marrying her to me o.O ... And when I started explaining it to him how wrong it is since he is still in 9th grade =.= ,he got so angry and said " It's MY life , Leave me Alone"...and he said that he doesn't chose girls because they're "Hot" ,he chose her after deep thinking and stuff i.e. trying to say she is the right girl or something.
Anyways I'm glad for the first time in his life he opened up to me so I'm done talking because it just piss me off when I see that whatever I say doesn't even affect him i.e. He just listens to his own opinion.
I don't know what to do , but I sure don't want to think about this matter anymore :-\ :-X
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Something has been troubling my mind lately.
My Cousin ,his mom is my Auntie and his dad is a Saudi. The other day I was talking to him and the topic of "Dating" came up and so I asked him whether he is dating a girl or not. I know that some of his best friends are girls that he usually tells them "I love you babe/I miss you babe". He comes from a Noble family so the idea of "Dating" is sort of a "Taboo" according to his family.
Anyways he said "Yes , I have a girlfriend" and then I asked him some Questions about her and he showed me her picture. What pissed me off really bad was when I asked him " What if your sister was dating a guy now , what would you do? ha?"..
he replied by saying " I'll beat the heel out of him , I won't even let her date a guy in the first place >:("..
I told him : " Well , then why can YOU date while she CAN'T"
He replied by saying : " She is my responsibility , her reputation is my responsibility too"
I replied : " You think your reputation won't be ruined for going with girls"
he said : " No , because I'm a guy"
I was really pissed because if a guy who dated girls and stuff like that proposed to his sister ,I am sure she'll reject him without hesitation.
It breaks my heart when I know such ruthless boys exist.
Now how the hell can I "OPEN HIS EYES" and let him realize what he's doing is wrong.
When you meet your cousin, take tissue paper, use it the way you want. After that give it to him to use. Wait till he rejects it. Then, tell him: "This is how you will be in some time-- used. If you yourself have rejected this, do not be foolish enough to expect anyone else to accept it. Even your girl might not."
If he does not find anything to contradict you, rest assured. You've done your part. This will stay in his mind for some time.
Leave it at that itself. Do not try to lecture him everytime on the virtues of morality-- he might get offended and neglect the essential of what he should know. My own cousins are very nice with me, but they would never succumb to my lecturing them. I do throw comments here and then, it tends to work better.
If there is still no improvement, then I guess you should let go. Some people do not understand fire is dangerous unless they've gone through it and felt the pain of burning.
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When you meet your cousin, take tissue paper, use it the way you want. After that give it to him to use. Wait till he rejects it. Then, tell him: "This is how you will be in some time-- used. If you yourself have rejected this, do not be foolish enough to expect anyone else to accept it. Even your girl might not."
If he does not find anything to contradict you, rest assured. You've done your part. This will stay in his mind for some time.
Leave it at that itself. Do not try to lecture him everytime on the virtues of morality-- he might get offended and neglect the essential of what he should know. My own cousins are very nice with me, but they would never succumb to my lecturing them. I do throw comments here and then, it tends to work better.
If there is still no improvement, then I guess you should let go. Some people do not understand fire is dangerous unless they've gone through it and felt the pain of burning.
Alright :-\ :)
Thanks a tonne sis :-*
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Thank Borakk. He directed me here.;D
9th grade is how old, if I may ask?
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Thank Borakk. He directed me here.;D
9th grade is how old, if I may ask?
Jazakom Allah kair =] ...i.e. May Allah reward you two =]
14 years old.
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Thank you. First time, I really felt someone blessed me. :)
14 is old enough... so, I guess he will understand the tissue paper analogy.
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Thank you. First time, I really felt someone blessed me. :)
14 is old enough... so, I guess he will understand the tissue paper analogy.
Your Welcome , when someone says Jazak Allah kair you usually reply by saying wa jazak for a guy , wa jazaki for a girl ..as in may he reward you too. Just telling you so that you know :)
InshAllah he does =]
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Ameen. :)
Ahhh, thanks. <3
I've always wanted to learn Arabic, and I think I found the perfect person. ;D
But after my exams, and yours. Then, I'll pester you. ;)
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I never understood one thing... From the boy's side, if he dates a girl, its entirely his loss. He will be distracted from his studies and other more important things. HE will have to spend money for dates. He will have to "maintain secrecy" if he is from a family which considers dating to be a taboo. In short, HE will have to bear all the trouble and pain.
Now what does he GAIN from dating? Showing off to other friends does not constitute to any monetary or material gain. In some cases, a sexual relationship may be possible. However, it is not worth considering all the trouble one has to go through. In short, you're in a very bad business deal if you are dating a girl. ::)
So, why are boys so curious to date a girl?? ??? ???
*Golden girl: show him this post of mine. :P *
Hm... Just a comment I've heard many boys say. They are no Mother Teresa giving out charity to girls, they plan to extract more in return, in their own ways. So, girls, be careful. ::)
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Ameen. :)
Ahhh, thanks. <3
I've always wanted to learn Arabic, and I think I found the perfect person. ;D
But after my exams, and yours. Then, I'll pester you. ;)
You're always welcome sis =]
Haha , It would me my pleasure to teach you :D
InshAllah :P =]
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Thank youuu <3 :D
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Yo welcome sista <3
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Relationship: Inspiring Quote
People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Some times they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season!
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
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Relationship: Inspiring Quote
People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Some times they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season!
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
Inspiring Quote Indeed "D
I hope you don't mind but I'll steal the quote since I believe some of my friends badly need it :)
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Inspiring Quote Indeed "D
I hope you don't mind but I'll steal the quote since I believe some of my friends badly need it :)
Thank you, sir! =] I am glad yuh liked it! :D
No problem at all! =] Please do share! :D Makes me happier! :D
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Have I a very special type of girlfriend (actually wife) who says no to everything I like?
And yes to everything I hate?
Doesn't like sailing, diesel engines or diesel
hates running around in the mud
doesn't like dogs, cats, rats or mice
wants to look in the yellow pages aND SPEND £200 ON EVERY CONCEIVAble speck of imperfection on her life?
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^Awwwwww . . . It sounds sweet, to be honest. :P :-[