Author Topic: JOKES AND Riddles!!  (Read 359350 times)

Offline saiki

  • SF Immigrant
  • **
  • Posts: 51
  • Reputation: 4
Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #720 on: May 30, 2009, 03:11:27 pm »
correct... was it that easy... ill +rep u

Offline saiki

  • SF Immigrant
  • **
  • Posts: 51
  • Reputation: 4
Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #721 on: May 30, 2009, 03:12:55 pm »
this is a classic joke, i guess many of u alredi noe, but still am posting it->

John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful John's roommate Julie was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between John and his roommate, and this only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between John and the roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts,John volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Julie and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Julie came to John and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I can't find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" John said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure." So he sat down and wrote, "Dear Mother, I'm not saying you 'did' take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you 'did not' take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner."

Several days later, John received a letter from his mother which read, "Dear Son, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Julie, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Julie. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom."

Offline saiki

  • SF Immigrant
  • **
  • Posts: 51
  • Reputation: 4
Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #722 on: May 30, 2009, 03:17:34 pm »
found the following on a site... duno if its true, but sure is kinda funny... ->

Some actual product warning labels:

On the bottle-top of a (UK) flavoured milk drink -
AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT. (duh!)

On a New Zealand insect spray -
THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS.

In a US guide to setting up a new computer -
TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM
UP TO ROOM TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING.
(Make sense...except these instructions we're IN THE BOX!)

In some countries (like W. Virginia:), on the bottom of Coke bottles -
OPEN OTHER END.

On a Sears hairdryer -
DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING.
( Now THAT I'd like to see! )

On a bag of Fritos -
YOU COULD BE A WINNER! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. DETAILS INSIDE.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap -
DIRECTIONS - USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP.
(And that would be how?)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on BOTTOM of the box)
* DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN.
(oops...Too late! You lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -
PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On a Korean kitchen knife -
WARNING KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN.
(Dammit! Who are they to tell me what to do with my kids?)

On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights -
FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY.
(As opposed to what...use in outer space?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts -
INSTRUCTIONS - OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS.
(I'm sure glad they cleared that up.)

On a Swedish chainsaw -
DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR HANDS OR GENITALS.
(What kind of consumer phone-call led to this warning?)

On a child's superman costume -
WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO FLY.
That's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy!)

Q80BOY

  • Guest
Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #723 on: May 30, 2009, 03:21:56 pm »
loooool saiki, thats funny, but i dont think its true  :-\

lmao @ the superman costume  :P

Offline O.T.13.

  • SF V.I.P
  • ********
  • Posts: 6630
  • Reputation: 20760
  • Gender: Male
Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #724 on: May 30, 2009, 03:25:41 pm »
actually i believe most of them, except the once about the chainsaw and the bag of nuts

about your riddle, it ain't easy, but it is far too common :P

+rep for the jokes
Nothing is worse than being surrounded by people and yet you still feel lonely

Offline saiki

  • SF Immigrant
  • **
  • Posts: 51
  • Reputation: 4
Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #725 on: May 30, 2009, 03:36:17 pm »
   EVER WONDER...
 
   ...why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
 
   ...why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
 
   ..why you don't ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
 
   ...why "abbreviated" is such a long word?
 
   ...why doctors call what they do "practice"?
 
   ...why you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows?
 
   ...why lemon juice is made with artificial flavour, while
   dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?
 
   ...why there isn't mouse-flavoured cat food?
 
   ...why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
 
   ...why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used
   for the indestructible black box ?
 
   ...why they are called apartments when they are all stuck
   together?

Offline ZeroZero82

  • SF Citizen
  • ***
  • Posts: 247
  • Reputation: 22
  • Gender: Male
Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #726 on: May 30, 2009, 03:36:37 pm »
:P haha nice
It's too late for...Roses.

Five finger death punch!

Offline saiki

  • SF Immigrant
  • **
  • Posts: 51
  • Reputation: 4
Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #727 on: May 30, 2009, 03:54:34 pm »
duno about u guyz but i laughed my head off looking at this... (duno how to add a pic so giving the link)

http://jambalaugi.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/baby-techniques.jpg

http://i29.tinypic.com/2en5547.jpg
« Last Edit: May 30, 2009, 03:59:30 pm by saiki »

Monica

  • Guest
Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #728 on: May 30, 2009, 04:07:32 pm »
haha, i really liked the joke u posted!! +rep for u... :) saiki

Monica

  • Guest
Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #729 on: May 30, 2009, 04:09:35 pm »
someone -repped me!!lol!! :(

Offline ZeroZero82

  • SF Citizen
  • ***
  • Posts: 247
  • Reputation: 22
  • Gender: Male
Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #730 on: May 30, 2009, 04:11:09 pm »
i'll +rep you if you +rep me :P
It's too late for...Roses.

Five finger death punch!

Monica

  • Guest
Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #731 on: May 30, 2009, 04:13:32 pm »
i'll +rep you if you +rep me :P

haha wat is this?!?! ur not kind i wouldve +repped u anyway if u did that to me!!lol!! here +rep for u. :)

Offline ZeroZero82

  • SF Citizen
  • ***
  • Posts: 247
  • Reputation: 22
  • Gender: Male
Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #732 on: May 30, 2009, 04:15:07 pm »
8) cool! haha :P did you finish studying?
It's too late for...Roses.

Five finger death punch!

Monica

  • Guest
Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #733 on: May 30, 2009, 04:18:15 pm »
no :( u??

and y do u keep ur tongue out all the time?? :P

Offline ZeroZero82

  • SF Citizen
  • ***
  • Posts: 247
  • Reputation: 22
  • Gender: Male
Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #734 on: May 30, 2009, 04:19:44 pm »
It's fun 8) hahaha. what are you studying!?
It's too late for...Roses.

Five finger death punch!