Author Topic: JOKES AND Riddles!!  (Read 358484 times)

zara

  • Guest
Re: JOKES!!
« Reply #120 on: May 27, 2009, 04:02:37 pm »
@zerozero82
haha...lolzz...
but wat an idiotic husband!!!!!

Offline sanity_master

  • SF Farseer
  • *******
  • Posts: 3474
  • Reputation: 32003
  • Gender: Male
  • its all comin to an end :(
Re: JOKES!!
« Reply #121 on: May 27, 2009, 04:04:04 pm »
about the pineapples :D

3 explorers were looking in the forest when they were captured by Indians. They were taken to their chief, and he said go out into the forest and come back with 10 of the same kind of fruits. The first guy comes back with 10 bannanas, and the chief says, shove them all up your butt without making a sound.
So the 1st guy gets 2 bannanas in when he starts screaming, so the indians kill him. The second guy comes back with 10 berries, and they shove 9 in and are about to shove the 10th in when he starts laughing, and so since he made a sound the indians killed him too.
Now the first two explorers souls fly out of their bodies and into heaven and they start talking. The first explorer says 'Hey dude why did you laugh you could've gone back and told out families what had happened'.
The 2nd explorer replies, 'Sorry I just couldn't stop when I saw fred comin down the hill with 10 pinneapples.


if it is overrated tell me to remove it.........i hope its not, cuz it is hilarious  

Q80BOY

  • Guest
Re: JOKES!!
« Reply #122 on: May 27, 2009, 04:05:37 pm »
lol,

thats a classic  :P

Monica

  • Guest
Re: JOKES!!
« Reply #123 on: May 27, 2009, 04:09:22 pm »
oh my god sanity!! this one is sooooo funny!!hahaha!!

Offline sanity_master

  • SF Farseer
  • *******
  • Posts: 3474
  • Reputation: 32003
  • Gender: Male
  • its all comin to an end :(
Re: JOKES!!
« Reply #124 on: May 27, 2009, 04:11:17 pm »
lol,

thats a classic  :P

some of the gd jokes that had been posted are classics but we just laughed :P :D lol

anywayzz.....i g2g now to seek the path of a better future (by studying :'( )

i guess that was a joke :D lol

bye every1.....and i hope u stay happy for a long time :D lol

Q80BOY

  • Guest
Re: JOKES!!
« Reply #125 on: May 27, 2009, 04:12:38 pm »
guys, check out my number of posts

gr8 number 1111 :P

Offline sanity_master

  • SF Farseer
  • *******
  • Posts: 3474
  • Reputation: 32003
  • Gender: Male
  • its all comin to an end :(
Re: JOKES!!
« Reply #126 on: May 27, 2009, 04:13:09 pm »
oh my god sanity!! this one is sooooo funny!!hahaha!!

:D....glad u liked it :D

i love it actually.....keep laughing insanely every time i remember it ;D

bye every1.....and i hope i made u laugh from ur hearts, and i hope u all liked wt i posted :) ;D

Offline ZeroZero82

  • SF Citizen
  • ***
  • Posts: 247
  • Reputation: 22
  • Gender: Male
Re: JOKES!!
« Reply #127 on: May 27, 2009, 04:15:08 pm »
The guy replies, "Well I've got these two horses and I can't tell them apart. I don't know if I'm mixing up riding times or even feeding them the right foods."

The bartender suggests, "Why don't you try shaving the tail of one of the horses?"

The guy says, "That sounds like a good idea, I think I'll try it."

A few months later, he returns to the bar in worse condition. "I shaved the tail of one of the horses, but it grew back and I can't tell them apart again!"

The bartender says, "Why don't you try shaving the mane?"

A few months later the guy is back. "I shaved the mane of one of the horses, but it grew back!"

The bartender yells, "Just measure the damn horses. Perhaps one is slightly taller that the other one!" The guy storms out of the bar.

The next day, the guy runs into the bar. "It worked, it worked!" he exclaims. "I measured the horses, and the black one is two inches taller than the white one!"
It's too late for...Roses.

Five finger death punch!

Monica

  • Guest
Re: JOKES!!
« Reply #128 on: May 27, 2009, 04:18:26 pm »
oh zero!! u got 2 stars congrats!!

and ya thx sanity and gooooo study!!lol!! ill go after a while inshalla!!

Offline ZeroZero82

  • SF Citizen
  • ***
  • Posts: 247
  • Reputation: 22
  • Gender: Male
Re: JOKES!!
« Reply #129 on: May 27, 2009, 04:20:10 pm »
:O COOOOOOOOOOOOOOLL!!!!!
It's too late for...Roses.

Five finger death punch!

Offline X Abdulrahman X

  • SF Farseer
  • *******
  • Posts: 4981
  • Reputation: 3826
  • Gender: Male
Re: JOKES!!
« Reply #130 on: May 27, 2009, 05:18:27 pm »
ahahahaha zero dont think they understood it :P

and sanity loool ur joke was breath taking hahahah XDDDDDD
When they talk about me they say I be trippin
What they say about me doesn't make me mad 
I think they hatin cause they see me when I'm rollin
Man I can't help it that they really doin bad  =P

Big cars, Big wheels, Big chains, Big pimpin', Big money, Big Dreams ;-)

Offline X Abdulrahman X

  • SF Farseer
  • *******
  • Posts: 4981
  • Reputation: 3826
  • Gender: Male
Re: JOKES!!
« Reply #131 on: May 27, 2009, 05:33:07 pm »
Q. Why do only 10% of women go to heaven?

 :)
 ;)
 :D
 ;D

A. Because if they all went, it would be hell. XD
When they talk about me they say I be trippin
What they say about me doesn't make me mad 
I think they hatin cause they see me when I'm rollin
Man I can't help it that they really doin bad  =P

Big cars, Big wheels, Big chains, Big pimpin', Big money, Big Dreams ;-)

Offline X Abdulrahman X

  • SF Farseer
  • *******
  • Posts: 4981
  • Reputation: 3826
  • Gender: Male
Re: JOKES!!
« Reply #132 on: May 27, 2009, 05:38:13 pm »
Your mom's so fat she can't even jump to a conclusion.
Your mom's so fat, her clothes have stretch marks.
Your mom's so fat, she needs a watch on both arms because she covers two time zones.
Your mom's so fat, you could slap her butt and ride the waves.
Your mom's so fat, she has to buy two airplane tickets.
Your mom's so fat when she took her dress to the cleaners they told her, "Sorry, we don't do curtains."
Your mom's so fat, she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller
« Last Edit: May 27, 2009, 05:41:15 pm by abdulrahman101 »
When they talk about me they say I be trippin
What they say about me doesn't make me mad 
I think they hatin cause they see me when I'm rollin
Man I can't help it that they really doin bad  =P

Big cars, Big wheels, Big chains, Big pimpin', Big money, Big Dreams ;-)

Offline X Abdulrahman X

  • SF Farseer
  • *******
  • Posts: 4981
  • Reputation: 3826
  • Gender: Male
Re: JOKES!!
« Reply #133 on: May 27, 2009, 05:43:13 pm »
One day old man Stumpy and his wife Martha went to the Illinois State Fair.  There is this man selling plane rides in his single prop show plane for $10 per person.  Stumpy looks to Martha and says, "Martha, I think I really should try that."  Martha replies, "I know you want to Stumpy, but we have a lot of bills, and you know the money is tight, and $10 is $10."  So Stumpy goes without. Over the next few years they return every year, and the same thing, Stumpy wants to ride, but Martha says no money.
Finally, when Stumpy and Martha are both about 70 years old, Stumpy looks to Martha, and says, "Martha, I'm 70 now, and I don't know if I'll ever get the chance again, so I just have to be naughty and have a ride in that there airplane."  Martha replies in the same old fashion, and Stumpy kind of slumps down.  The pilot is standing near by and overhears the conversation...

The pilot pipes up, "Excuse me folks, I couldn't help but hear your situation, and I have a deal for you.  I'll take both of you up together, and if you can both make the entire trip without saying a word, or even making the slightest sound, I'll give the ride for free.  But if either of you make a sound, its $10 each." Well, Martha and Stumpy look at each other, and agree to take the ride.

The pilot takes them up, and starts to do loop de loops, twists, dives, climbs and spins.  No sound. The pilot lands the plane, looks back at Stumpy and says, "Sir, I have to hand it to ya, you didn't make even the slightest sound and that was my best stuff."  Stumpy looks back at the pilot and says, "Well, I was gonna say something when Martha fell out, but $10 is $10!"
When they talk about me they say I be trippin
What they say about me doesn't make me mad 
I think they hatin cause they see me when I'm rollin
Man I can't help it that they really doin bad  =P

Big cars, Big wheels, Big chains, Big pimpin', Big money, Big Dreams ;-)

Offline astarmathsandphysics

  • SF Overlord
  • *********
  • Posts: 11271
  • Reputation: 65534
  • Gender: Male
  • Free the exam papers!
Re: JOKES!!
« Reply #134 on: May 27, 2009, 05:43:36 pm »
I have made a donation. Should be fast soon.