JOKES AND Riddles!!

[nid404]

This is the 2nd time I read it...lol

[Kim]

anytime u have a 50-50 chance of getting something right ,there's a 90% chance of getting it wrong

[Kim]

if your parents never have children chances are you would not either

printer not ready...do u have a pen???

[Kim]

These are real comments made by teachers on their student report cards.

1. Since my last report, your child has hit rock bottom and has started to dig.

2. I would not allow this student to breed.

3. Your child has delusions of adequacy.

4. Your child is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

5. Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.

6. The student has a "full six-pack" but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.

7. This child has been working with glue too much.

8. When your daughter's IQ reaches 50, she should sell.

9. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.

10. If this student were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.

11. It's impossible to believe the sperm that created this child beat out 1,000,000 others.

12. The wheel is turning but the hamster is dead

[I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!]

                                             THE HIPPIE AND THE NUN
                                DISCLAIMER: NOT FOR KIDS...... READ AT UR OWN COST>>>>>


One day a hippie gets a ride on a public bus and sees a hot young nun. He sits down next to her and promptly asks if she would like to have sex, to which she immediately says no and walks off the bus. The bus driver leans over and says "Hey guy I know how to get that nun to have sex with you..."

Naturally the hippie asks, and the bus driver tells him that every night at midnight the nun goes to an old graveyard to pray for god to forgive her for her past, and that he should dress up like god and tell the nun she will be forgiven if she has sex with you.

The hippie gives his thanks and runs to the nearest costume shop.

Later that evening the hippie gets ready for his big night and drives down to the graveyard and sees the nun praying, on her knees. He says "Behold, I have heard your prayers and you shall be forgiven if you have sex with me!"

The nun agrees but asks if they can have "backward sex" (i replaced the word because it sounded more offending-backward means through the back part!! ) in order to keep her virginity. The hippie agrees and once they are finished the hippie jumps back and pulls off his mask and says "Surpise, its me the Hippie!"

The nun jumps up and pulls off her mask and says "Surprise, its me the bus driver!"

[Baladya]

                                            THE HIPPIE AND THE NUN
                                DISCLAIMER: NOT FOR KIDS...... READ AT UR OWN COST>>>>>


One day a hippie gets a ride on a public bus and sees a hot young nun. He sits down next to her and promptly asks if she would like to have sex, to which she immediately says no and walks off the bus. The bus driver leans over and says "Hey guy I know how to get that nun to have sex with you..."

Naturally the hippie asks, and the bus driver tells him that every night at midnight the nun goes to an old graveyard to pray for god to forgive her for her past, and that he should dress up like god and tell the nun she will be forgiven if she has sex with you.

The hippie gives his thanks and runs to the nearest costume shop.

Later that evening the hippie gets ready for his big night and drives down to the graveyard and sees the nun praying, on her knees. He says "Behold, I have heard your prayers and you shall be forgiven if you have sex with me!"

The nun agrees but asks if they can have "backward sex" (i replaced the word because it sounded more offending-backward means through the back part!! ) in order to keep her virginity. The hippie agrees and once they are finished the hippie jumps back and pulls off his mask and says "Surpise, its me the Hippie!"

The nun jumps up and pulls off her mask and says "Surprise, its me the bus driver!"

WOW................ No comment xD   Lol man no one commented on this joke xD hehheehh
OWNED xD

[I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!]

thanks baladya , nice sig..

[Nobody]

A simple puzzle can you solve it

IT'S A 7 LETTER WORD..

IF WE REMOVE 1 LETTER FROM IT, IT REMAINS SAME.

IF WE REMOVE 2 LETTERS FROM IT, IT REMAINS SAME.

IF WE REMOVE 3 LETTERS FROM IT, IT REMAINS SAME.

IF WE REMOVE ALL THE LETTERS FROM IT, STILL IT REMAINS SAME.

WHAT IS IT ?

















A POSTBOX

[Nobody]

okay..this one!


The story of everybody

This is a story of four people called Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody.

There was some important work that had to be done, and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it.

Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry because of this, since it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody understood that Everybody wouldn't do it.

It ended with Everybody blaming Somebody as Nobody did what Anybody could have done.

[nid404]

I love you sig Baladya 

@lord kratos- No comments

[Nobody]

Cold water cleaning

A man went to visit his 90 year old grandfather and while eating the breakfast of eggs and bacon prepared for him, he noticed a film-like substance on his plate. So he says, "Grandfather, are these plates clean?"

His grandfather replies, "Those plates are as clean as cold water can get them, so go on and finish your meal".

That afternoon, while eating the hamburgers his grandfather made for lunch, he noticed many little black specks around the edge of his plate, so again he asked, "Grandfather are you sure these plates are clean"?

Without looking up from his burger, the grandfather says, " I told you those dishes are as clean as coldwater can get them, now don't ask me about it anymore".

Well, later that day, they were on their way out to get dinner. As he was leaving the house, grandfather's dog who was lying on the floor started to growl and would not let him pass.

"Grandfather, your dog won't let me out".

Without diverting his attention from the football game he was watching, his grandfather shouted, "Coldwater, get out of the way"!

[nid404]

LOOOOOOOOOOL

[Baladya]

SHIIIIIITTTTTT xD  OMG xD looooool

By the way my dad told me the Nobody thing and m still getting lost in the end

[Baladya]

I love you sig Baladya 

@lord kratos- No comments

Hey nid, ur not gonna be like that when Mony or Astar comes and kicks me   HEHEHHEHE  Am i the only one not feeling safe !! xD 

[nid404]

Hey nid, ur not gonna be like that when Mony or Astar comes and kicks me   HEHEHHEHE  Am i the only one not feeling safe !! xD 

Naahh....I'm user friendly