JOKES AND Riddles!!

[nid404]

all cause of u 

I don't think so 

[haris94]

#1) A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah". The teacher asked, " What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".


#2) One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

[Kim]

lol awesome haris94 nice jokes
haha cant stop laughing

[nid404]

hahaha....nice ones haris

[haris94]

thanx....

[Baladya]

I know some will hate me for this, and  some won't even get it... but i need to say it

So A guy brought a scale for his girlfriend as a present. When she asked him why, he said: I thought girls liked this kind of stuff. Angry, she brought him a ruler and said I thought boys like that kind of stuff...

[I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!]

I know some will hate me for this, and  some won't even get it... but i need to say it

So A guy brought a scale for his girlfriend as a present. When she asked him why, he said: I thought girls liked this kind of stuff. Angry, she brought him a ruler and said I thought boys like that kind of stuff...

ha haaaa frickin perverted joke!!!!!

nice one baladya!!!

[Baladya]

ha haaaa frickin perverted joke!!!!!

nice one baladya!!!

I hope nid and mony doent get it ^^  But funny sh*t man xD

[Baladya]

YO MAMA JOKEESSS !!!!

Yo mama is so old that she farts dust  
Yo mama is so fat when she passed by my tv, i missed 4 seasons of prison break
Yo mama is so stupid she died from hunger when she got locked in a supermarket
Yo mama is so stupid she pied in her pants when got locked in a bathroom

Those are my fav  

[I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!]

YO MAMA JOKEESSS !!!!

Yo mama is so old that she farts dust  
Yo mama is so fat when she passed by my tv, i missed 4 seasons of prison break
Yo mama is so stupid she died from hunger when she got locked in a supermarket
Yo mama is so stupid she pied in her pants when got locked in a bathroom

Those are my fav  

ha haa haa,  awesome baladya.........!!
keep posting!!!!!

[Baladya]

K this might work only if u say white 10 times loudly, a bit fast:

Say white 10 times bla bla.... Finished? Okay, what does a cow drink?

[nid404]

I didn't get it 

Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake were walking along the beach. Suddenly, Justin says, "Aww, Britney, look at the dead birdie."

Britney looks up at the sky and says, "Where?!"


LOL

[nid404]

I got this one 

An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store
one Friday evening with a beautiful young gal at his
side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a
special ring for his girlfriend.

The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a
$5,000 ring and showed it to him. The old man said, "I
don't think you understand, I want something very special."

At that statement, the jeweler went to his special
stock and brought another ring over.
"Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000," the jeweler
said. The young lady's eyes sparkled and her whole
body trembled with excitement. The old man seeing this
said, "We'll take it."

The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the old
man stated, by check. " I know you need to make sure
my check is good, so I'll write it now and you can call
the bank Monday to verify the funds and I'll pick the
ring up Monday afternoon," he said.

Monday morning, a very teed-off jeweler phoned the old
man. "There's no money in that account."

"I know", said the old man, "but can you imagine the
weekend I had?"

[Nobody]

This one for all INDIANS!

Bill Gates organized an enormous session to recruit a new Chairman for Microsoft Europe. 5000 candidates assembled in a large room. One candidate is Arun an Indian (Mumbai) guy.

Bill Gates thanked all the candidates for coming and asking those who do not know JAVA program to leave. 2000 people leave the room. Arun says to himself, 'I do not know JAVA but I have nothing to lose if I stay. I'll give it a try'

Bill Gates asked the candidates who never had experience of managing more than 100 people to leave.

2000 people leave the room. Arun says to himself ' I never managed anybody by myself but I have nothing to lose if I stay. What can happen to me?' So he stays.

Then Bill Gates asked candidates who do not have management diplomas to leave. 500 people leave the room. Arun says to himself, 'I left school at 15 but what have I got to lose?' So he stays in the room.

Lastly, Bill Gates asked the candidates who do not speak Serbo - Croat to leave. 498 people leave the room. Arun says to himself, 'I do not speak one word of Serbo - Croat but what do I have to lose?' So he stays and finds himself with one other candidate.

Everyone else has gone.

Bill Gates joined them and said 'Apparently you are the only two candidates who speak Serbo - Croat, so I'd now like to hear you have a conversation together in that language.'

Calmly, Arun turns to the other candidate and says 'Kaisa hai re tu'

The other candidate answers 'Accha hu re!'

[Vin]

@Baladya .. didnt get it either .. i think the joke is it .. like fools we try sayin white .. mom was staring at me .. 

@nid hahha ..LOL .. good one evn the Britney one

@Nobody .. LMAO !!!! awesome .. hahahhaha ..