I wouldnt know; maybe you could tell us since you have experience in such things given your weird anatomy 
Kids like you should be in your books.
You wouldn't know a thing about zen.

Also,From my book of Really Gross Facts: "The longest recorded fart lasted 2 minutes and 42 seconds". Last week I wouldn't have been able to supply this vital information. Someone brought me it back from holiday (why, I don't know).
Bonus fact(?): "If one person farted continually for 81 months they would produce the same amount of energy as a nuclear bomb".
Bonus bonus fact: "women fart 3 times more during the day than men".