Author Topic: JOKES AND Riddles!!  (Read 370160 times)

Q80BOY

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #2385 on: June 07, 2009, 08:40:14 am »
What Company?  (no offence americans  :P)
 
Can you imagine working for the following company?
It has little over 500 employees with the following statistics:

o 29 have been accused of spousal abuse
o 7 have been arrested for fraud
o 19 have been accused of writing bad cheques
o 117 have bankrupted at least 2 businesses
o 3 have been arrested for assault
o 71 can’t get a credit card because of bad credit
o 14 have been arrested on drug-related charges
o 8 have been arrested for shoplifting
o 21 are current defendants in lawsuits

In 1998, 84 were stopped for drunk driving

Can you guess what organization it is?

Give up?

It is the 535 members of the Congress of the United States of America!

 

Offline sweetsh

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #2386 on: June 07, 2009, 08:45:47 am »
Hahahaha Q80BOY, I heard this joke once before, im not sure if in English or Arabic, anyway its so funny!

Q80BOY

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #2387 on: June 07, 2009, 08:47:00 am »
hehe, glad u liked it,

k heres another lame one for roxy  :P

Tommy's Homework
 
Tommy says to the teacher "Miss. would you ever punish me for something i didn't do?"
The teacher replies "No, Tommy of course not"
"Good cause i didn't do my homework!"
 



Q80BOY

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #2388 on: June 07, 2009, 08:51:39 am »
Good excuse
 
A fellow bought a new Mercedes and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to open her up.

As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him. "There's no way they can catch a Mercedes, " he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 90, 100. . . .
Then the reality of the situation hit him. "What am I doing? " he thought and pulled over.

The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car. "It's been a long day, this is the end of my shift and it's Friday the 13th. I don't feel like more paperwork, so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before, you can go. "

The guy thinks for a second and says, "Last week my wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back! "

"Have a nice weekend, " said the officer.

hehe, lol, that one cracked me up  :P
 

Offline Ukhti-R

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #2389 on: June 07, 2009, 08:52:18 am »
looooolll...!!!

thanks for the joke Q80... but I oredy knew tht one ...loooolll..

:P

you see I prefer lame than dirty :P
"...And whosoever fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a a way for him to get out (from every difficulty). And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine. And whosoever puts his trust in Allah, then He will suffice him." [65: 2-3]

Q80BOY

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #2390 on: June 07, 2009, 08:52:59 am »
Three Old Men  (hope i dont gross u out  :P)
 
Three old men (70, 80, and 90) are sitting in front of a nursing home.

The 70 year-old said, "just once, I'd like to take a good, healthy piss". The other two nodded agreement.

The 80 year-old said, "You know, I wish just once I could take a solid sh*t".
The others nodded.

Then the 90 year-old spoke up. "Every morning at 7:00 sharp, I take a healthy piss.

And every morning at 7:30 like clockwork, I take a solid sh*t.

You know, just once I wish I could wake up before 8:00."
 

Offline Ukhti-R

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #2391 on: June 07, 2009, 08:54:26 am »
Khaalaaaaas Q80 ....

Im gonna vomit soon :P
"...And whosoever fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a a way for him to get out (from every difficulty). And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine. And whosoever puts his trust in Allah, then He will suffice him." [65: 2-3]

Q80BOY

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #2392 on: June 07, 2009, 08:55:34 am »
haha lol, i knew a girl would say that  :P

Offline Ukhti-R

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #2393 on: June 07, 2009, 08:55:59 am »
loooll...!!
 ;D ;D ;D ;D

"...And whosoever fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a a way for him to get out (from every difficulty). And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine. And whosoever puts his trust in Allah, then He will suffice him." [65: 2-3]

Q80BOY

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #2394 on: June 07, 2009, 08:56:20 am »
Male or female...
 
Are you male or female?
 
To find the answer, look down!!!



































Not here, Stupid!

(over rated ??  :P)
 

Offline Ukhti-R

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #2395 on: June 07, 2009, 08:57:16 am »
haha... and surprisingly I knew that too ...:P
"...And whosoever fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a a way for him to get out (from every difficulty). And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine. And whosoever puts his trust in Allah, then He will suffice him." [65: 2-3]

Offline sweetsh

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #2396 on: June 07, 2009, 08:57:29 am »
YOUSEF ~~!!!!!!!!!!

































Hahahahahahah!

Offline X Abdulrahman X

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #2397 on: June 07, 2009, 08:57:44 am »
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA LOOOL
When they talk about me they say I be trippin
What they say about me doesn't make me mad 
I think they hatin cause they see me when I'm rollin
Man I can't help it that they really doin bad  =P

Big cars, Big wheels, Big chains, Big pimpin', Big money, Big Dreams ;-)

Offline Ukhti-R

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #2398 on: June 07, 2009, 08:58:51 am »
lol. tell me about it sweetsh  ::) ::)

and hey Abdu .. recovered from yesterday :P
"...And whosoever fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a a way for him to get out (from every difficulty). And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine. And whosoever puts his trust in Allah, then He will suffice him." [65: 2-3]

Q80BOY

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #2399 on: June 07, 2009, 08:59:08 am »
hehe, glad u liked that one  :P

heres another ...

Early networks discovered ...
 
After having dug to a depth of 10 metres last year, Scottish scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 100 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago.

Not to be outdone by the Scots, English scientists dug to a depth of 20 metres, and shortly after, headlines in the English newspapers read:

English archaeologists have found traces of 200 year old copper wire and have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network a hundred years earlier than the scots.'

One week later, 'The Kerryman,' Irish newsletter, reported the following:

'After digging as deep as 30 metres in peat bog near Tralee , Paddy O'Droll, a self taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing.

Paddy has therefore concluded that 300 years ago Ireland had already gone wireless. '