Author Topic: JOKES AND Riddles!!  (Read 370534 times)

Offline X Abdulrahman X

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #2460 on: June 07, 2009, 11:35:20 am »
The new metro cop pulled a speeder who was zipping down Maple Avenue.
"Can I see your license and registration, bub?", the cop inquired.

"But officer," the fellow started, "I can explain..."

"Shut yer trap, bub!" snapped the officer. "You're going downtown
and sit a while till the sarge gets back."

"But, officer, I think you really should know..."

"And I said to shut yer trap! You're going to jail!"

A few hours later the cop looked in on his prisoner and said,
"Lucky for you that the sarge is at his daughter's wedding.
He'll be in a good mood when he gets back."

"Don't count on it," shot back the sap in the cell. "I'm the groom."
When they talk about me they say I be trippin
What they say about me doesn't make me mad 
I think they hatin cause they see me when I'm rollin
Man I can't help it that they really doin bad  =P

Big cars, Big wheels, Big chains, Big pimpin', Big money, Big Dreams ;-)

Offline X Abdulrahman X

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #2461 on: June 07, 2009, 11:37:42 am »
A cop pulls a young guy over:
"Hello officer" said the smart aleck kid.
"Young man did you see that stop sign?" asked the cop.
Yup, but I didn't see you!  :P :P :P
When they talk about me they say I be trippin
What they say about me doesn't make me mad 
I think they hatin cause they see me when I'm rollin
Man I can't help it that they really doin bad  =P

Big cars, Big wheels, Big chains, Big pimpin', Big money, Big Dreams ;-)

Offline sanity_master

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #2462 on: June 07, 2009, 11:43:52 am »
My thread is all about blondes now :'(


By the way...most of the jokes about blonds r originally egyptian jokes.........i've heard and read some blond jokes lately....its like im hearing the english translations D: hahahhaa

^^^^^^^^^
thats y they r funny :D :D

hahaha..bas ma feesh fi maser blondes aslan 3ashan ya3malo jokes 3anhoom :P :P :P

3an el sa3ayda...we bel english blonds !!!!!!!!!!!! :P :P :D:D:D

Offline thukon

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #2463 on: June 07, 2009, 02:32:29 pm »
A french woman marries and english man and moves to england with him. The french woman doesnt know english so life is hard in England when her husband goes to work.
One day, the french woman goes to the butcher's, and wants some chicken leg, but she doesnt know how to ask for it. Eventually, she thinks of a plan. She flaps her arm, and pulls up her skirt and points at her leg. The butcher realizes what she wants and gives her some chicken leg.
The next day, the lady wants some chicken BREAST!!! She asks for it the same way as yesterday and flaps her arms and removes her shirt and bra and points at her breasts.
The next day, she wants some chicken sausage, but she doesnt know how to ask for it. Eventually she flaps her arms, brings her husband over and...






















































The husband knows english you sickos.

Q80BOY

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #2464 on: June 07, 2009, 02:37:15 pm »
loooooooooooooooooool

ive got a "clean" mind  :P

Offline MR.BooMBastiC

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #2465 on: June 07, 2009, 02:45:51 pm »
funny........... but i hav got a clean mind tooo!!!!

can u think of some clean jokes!!!

Offline X Abdulrahman X

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #2466 on: June 07, 2009, 03:10:32 pm »
hahahahahahahahahahahaha nice joke lmaooooo
When they talk about me they say I be trippin
What they say about me doesn't make me mad 
I think they hatin cause they see me when I'm rollin
Man I can't help it that they really doin bad  =P

Big cars, Big wheels, Big chains, Big pimpin', Big money, Big Dreams ;-)

Offline Ukhti-R

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #2467 on: June 07, 2009, 03:25:02 pm »
HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHA


OOOMMMGGGG ...... Now that is SIIICCCKKK ...!!!

 maybe its just my mind :P
"...And whosoever fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a a way for him to get out (from every difficulty). And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine. And whosoever puts his trust in Allah, then He will suffice him." [65: 2-3]

Offline O.T.13.

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #2468 on: June 07, 2009, 04:47:08 pm »
YAY! Feds completed his Grand Slam Set!
Nothing is worse than being surrounded by people and yet you still feel lonely

Offline Ukhti-R

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #2469 on: June 07, 2009, 04:51:51 pm »
can someone make me laugh ....

Q80... lame jokes please ...
"...And whosoever fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a a way for him to get out (from every difficulty). And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine. And whosoever puts his trust in Allah, then He will suffice him." [65: 2-3]

Q80BOY

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #2470 on: June 07, 2009, 04:56:00 pm »
hehe, k roxy, here is a lame joke  :P

Why I Fired My Secretary
 
Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning.

I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, "Happy Birthday!", and possibly have a small present for me

As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone "Happy Birthday."

I thought... Well, that's marriage for you, but the kids.... They will remember.

My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn't say a word. So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said, "Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday! " It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered.

I worked until one o'clock , when Jane knocked on my door and said, "You know, It's such a beautiful day outside, and it is your Birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me." I said, "Thanks, Jane, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go!"

We went to lunch. But we didn't go where we normally would go. She chose instead a quiet bistro with a private table. We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously. On the way back to the office, Jane said, "You know, It's such a beautiful day... We don't need to go straight back to the office, Do We?"

I responded, "I guess not. What do you have in mind?" She said, "Let's drop by my apartment, it's just around the corner."

After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I'll be right back." "Ok," I nervously replied.

She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake . Followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing "Happy Birthday."

And I just sat there...


On the couch...


Naked!
 

Offline AS girl

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #2471 on: June 07, 2009, 04:58:32 pm »
loool very lame one!
If i fall along the way pick me up and dust me off...and if i get too tired to make it..be my breath so i can walk!!

Offline Ukhti-R

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #2472 on: June 07, 2009, 04:58:48 pm »
OOOOOOOOOOOHHHH SHHH*******TTT ...!!!!



okay... I said lame not dirty ...
"...And whosoever fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a a way for him to get out (from every difficulty). And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine. And whosoever puts his trust in Allah, then He will suffice him." [65: 2-3]

Q80BOY

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #2473 on: June 07, 2009, 05:00:17 pm »
lol, the lame jokes finished  :P and its not a dirty joke, the man was dirty  :P

Q80BOY

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #2474 on: June 07, 2009, 05:01:46 pm »
ok, heres a lame joke for roxy ...

Rubber Toe!
 
Q. What do you call an Italian with a rubber toe?

A. Roberto!


Q. What do you call a Brazillian with a rubber toe and no car?

A. Roberto Carlos!