Author Topic: Clean jokes thread!!!  (Read 153748 times)

Offline I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #465 on: July 04, 2010, 07:38:48 am »
How does that matter to you?  :D

Ohkay.
If you don't like my driving, then stay off the sidewalk

Offline Heart Hacker

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #466 on: July 04, 2010, 10:24:40 am »
Princess Xena is here  :D


Marriage Counseling
A husband and wife are having major problems after 15 years of marriage, so they go to a counselor.

The counselor asks them what the problem is. The wife launches into a tirade, listing every problem they have ever had in the 15 years they've been married. She goes on and on and on.

Finally, the counselor gets up, walks around the desk, embraces the wife and kisses her very passionately. The woman shuts up and stares at him quietly in a daze.

The counselor then turns to the husband and says, "Your wife is lonely. This is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?"

The husband thinks for a moment and replies, "Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but Tuesdays I play poker, Thursdays I go bowling, and Fridays I go sailing. Do you work Saturdays?"

Men ::)

 :D

not the lamest joke ...but the man is lamer than lame -.-
Hope for the Best .....Expect the Worst ;)

Thank Allah for everything :)

Offline I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #467 on: July 04, 2010, 11:53:20 am »
:D

not the lamest joke ...but the man is lamer than lame -.-

His wife must be -_-
If you don't like my driving, then stay off the sidewalk

Offline Heart Hacker

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #468 on: July 04, 2010, 12:30:27 pm »
A new vacuum cleaner salesman knocked at door, A lady opened it.
Before she could speak, the salesman rushed into the living room & emptied a bag of cow sh*t on the carpet

Salesman: Madam, if Im unable to clean this up with my new powerful vaccum cleaner in next 10 sec, i'll EAT all this sh**t

Lady: Do U need Chilli Sauce with that sh*t ?

Salesman:why?

Lady: Because there's no electricity in the house

=========================================
LOL
=========================================
Hope for the Best .....Expect the Worst ;)

Thank Allah for everything :)

Offline I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #469 on: July 04, 2010, 12:32:15 pm »
 :D :D Nice one. :D


I feel bad that I read several thousands of them...  :-\
If you don't like my driving, then stay off the sidewalk

Offline The Golden Girl =D

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #470 on: July 04, 2010, 12:33:21 pm »
haha lol
Verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest(13:28)

Please, Don't forget to Include GG in your Prayers =D

Offline Heart Hacker

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #471 on: July 04, 2010, 12:34:11 pm »
:D :D Nice one. :D


I feel bad that I read several thousands of them...  :-\

Thanks  ;D

if u have read loadz , post some of them  :D
Hope for the Best .....Expect the Worst ;)

Thank Allah for everything :)

***exam***

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #472 on: July 05, 2010, 02:00:20 pm »
No one believes seniors . . . everyone thinks they are senile.
An Elderly couple was celebrating their sixtieth anniversary. 
 The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had 
 moved back to their old neighbourhood after they retired.

Holding hands they walked back to their old school.
I t was not locked, so they entered, and found the old desk 
 they'd shared where Andy had carved 'I love you, Sally.'

On their way back ho me , a bag of money fell out of 
 an armored car, practically landing at their feet.
Sally quickly picked it up, but not sure 
 what to do with it, they took it home. 
 There, she counted the money:   
fifty-thousand dollars! 

Andy said, 'We've got to give it back.'   

Sally said, 'Finders keepers.'   

 She put the money back in the bag and hid it in their attic.
The next day, two FBI men were canvassing the neighborhood 
 looking for the money and knocked on the door.

'Pardon me, but did either of you find a bag 
 that fell out of an armored car yesterday?'
 
Sally said, 'No.'   

Andy said, 'She's lying. She hid it up in the attic.'   

Sally said, 'Don't believe him, he's getting senile.'

The agents turn to Andy and began to question him.   

One says:  'Tell us the story from the beginning' 


Andy said, 'Well, when Sally and I were walking home from school yesterday . . ..'

The first FBI guy turns to his partner and says, 'We're outta here.' 

 

Offline The Golden Girl =D

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #473 on: July 05, 2010, 02:11:29 pm »
haha lol ...nice one xam :)
Verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest(13:28)

Please, Don't forget to Include GG in your Prayers =D

Offline DrEvil

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #474 on: July 06, 2010, 06:25:44 am »
No one believes seniors . . . everyone thinks they are senile.
An Elderly couple was celebrating their sixtieth anniversary. 
 The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had 
 moved back to their old neighbourhood after they retired.

Holding hands they walked back to their old school.
I t was not locked, so they entered, and found the old desk 
 they'd shared where Andy had carved 'I love you, Sally.'

On their way back ho me , a bag of money fell out of 
 an armored car, practically landing at their feet.
Sally quickly picked it up, but not sure 
 what to do with it, they took it home. 
 There, she counted the money:   
fifty-thousand dollars! 

Andy said, 'We've got to give it back.'   

Sally said, 'Finders keepers.'   

 She put the money back in the bag and hid it in their attic.
The next day, two FBI men were canvassing the neighborhood 
 looking for the money and knocked on the door.

'Pardon me, but did either of you find a bag 
 that fell out of an armored car yesterday?'
 
Sally said, 'No.'   

Andy said, 'She's lying. She hid it up in the attic.'   

Sally said, 'Don't believe him, he's getting senile.'

The agents turn to Andy and began to question him.   

One says:  'Tell us the story from the beginning' 


Andy said, 'Well, when Sally and I were walking home from school yesterday . . ..'

The first FBI guy turns to his partner and says, 'We're outta here.' 

 

Good one... :D


“When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.”

***exam***

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #475 on: July 06, 2010, 11:15:37 am »
haha lol ...nice one xam :)
Quote
Good one... :D

Thanks :D

Offline Dibss

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #476 on: July 06, 2010, 12:07:18 pm »
LOL nice ones :D


---       Are You Really Sure?
A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"

In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."

Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

***exam***

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #477 on: July 06, 2010, 12:38:53 pm »
LOL nice ones :D


---       Are You Really Sure?
A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"

In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."

Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

lol was he a blond too !

Offline The Golden Girl =D

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #478 on: July 06, 2010, 05:47:18 pm »
np xam ...dibss : nice one lol
Verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest(13:28)

Please, Don't forget to Include GG in your Prayers =D

Offline Dibss

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #479 on: July 06, 2010, 05:54:39 pm »
lol was he a blond too !
LOL probs ::)

np xam ...dibss : nice one lol
thank you (: