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Clean jokes thread!!!

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nid404:
And moooore  ;D


Garfield: (Lying down on the table) No animal is more graceful than a cat.
(Looks at the camera,still lying down and then moves head back to original position)
Garfield: You'll have to take my word for it.
___________

Jon: Our only thought is to entertain you.
Garfield: Feed Me.
___________
Jon: You should start each day with a smile.
Garfield: That's a pretty tall order. Couldn't I start with a smirk and work my way up?
___________
Jon: Do you know what I love about you, Garfield? You're so unpredictable.
In the space of a few seconds, Garfield, who had been lying peacefully on Jon's lap, rips off the sleeve of Jon's shirt, hits Jon in the face with a pie, yanks Jon's pants off his body, and kicks Jon's chair over backwards.
Jon: Me and my biiiiiiiig mouth.
___________

Garfield: If you can guess how many cookies are in this jar, you win the entire contents!
Jon: You ate them all, didn't you?
Garfield: WE HAVE A WINNER!
___________
Jon: You get the house filthy, and I clean it!
Garfield: Ah, the delicate balance of nature.
___________

Jon: Garfield, there was a pan of lasagna here. Where's the lasagna?
Garfield: (Grinning) Resting comfortably.
Jon: Where's the pan?
Garfield: (Clutching his stomach) Resting not so comfortably.
___________
Phone (Garfield picks up) May I speak to the moron of the house?
Garfield (Looking over his shoulder, seeing Jon and Odie) Could you be more specific?

Deadly_king:
A major computer manufacturer has been asked to change the command " Press any key to continue" since many users could not find the "ANY" key on their keyboard. ;D

Master_Key:
Father to son:
If You don’t pass your Exams this time
Dont call me DAD,
After some days……..
Father:How is your result?
...Son:Sorry Bhai Saab..

Heart Hacker:
LMAO!

DrEvil:
LOL... Nice ones...  :D :D

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