General Chat NEW! The Student Forums Chatroom > Funnies

Clean jokes thread!!!

<< < (110/256) > >>

DrEvil:
The positive thinking poem.

* Little birdy in the sky,
* You look up and it shits in your eye.
* You don't mind and you don't cry,
* You just thank God that cows don't fly.

DrEvil:
I“ve written a poem for you:
Twinkle twinkle little star,
you should know what you are,
and once you know what you are,
Mental hospital is not so far. ;)



What is the difference between MONKEY and DONKEY ?
MONKEY will read this message and DONKEY will skip this message ...
What you will do ?  :D :D

DrEvil:
A policeman stops a lady and asks for her license. He says, "Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses."
The woman answered, "Well, I have contacts."
The policeman replied, "I don't care who you know! You're getting a ticket!"

DrEvil:
To: My Loving Wife....
A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his room, So he
decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally Typed
wrong e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he sent the
e-mail.
Meanwhile...
Somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her
husband's funeral. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting messages from
relatives and friends.After reading the first message, she fainted.
The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and
saw the computer screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Reached
I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here
now,and you are allowed to send e-mails to your loved ones. I've just
reached and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for
your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey
is as uneventful as mine was.
Regards,
Ur Loving Husband.

DrEvil:
A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The
frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you
three wishes."
The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed
to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish
for, your husband will get times ten!"
The woman said, "That's okay."
For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the
world.
The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your
husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will
flock to".
The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful
Woman and he will have eyes only for me."
So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful Woman in the world!
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in
the world.
The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the
world. And he will be ten times richer than you."
The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his
is mine."
So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!
The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd
like a mild heart attack."

Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.

Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop
here and continue feeling good.

Male readers: Please scroll down.




























































The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife .
Moral of the story: Women are really dumb but think they're really
smart.
Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show
PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show
that women never listen!!!

Navigation

[0] Message Index

[#] Next page

[*] Previous page