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Clean jokes thread!!!
nid404:
Someone saying that makes my day :)
Have a good day ahead :)
I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!:
--- Quote from: ~Xena~ on July 18, 2010, 07:06:57 am ---One-wish genie!
A woman was walking along the beach when she stumbled upon a bottle. She picked it up & rubbed it, & lo & behold a Genie appeared. The amazed woman asked if she got three wishes.
The Genie said, " Nope, sorry. Three-wish genies are a myth. Most of us are just single types. I'm a one-wish genie. So...what'll it be?
The woman didn't hesitate. She said, "I want peace in the Middle East. See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other. It will bring about world peace & harmony.
The Genie looked at the map & exclaimed: "Lady, be reasonable! These countries have been at war for thousands of years. I'm, out of shape after being in a bottle for centuries. I'm good but not THAT good! Don't think it can be done. Make another wish & please make it a bit more reasonable."
The woman thought for a minute & said, "Well, I've never been able to find the right man. You know, one that's considerate and fun, likes to cook and helps with the housecleaning, is great in bed and gets along with my family, doesn't watch sports all the time, and is faithful...and handsome. That's what I wish for....a good man I can marry and make my mate."
The Genie let out a long sigh, shook his head and said "Show me the damn map again!"
--- End quote ---
The man version is better. ::)
nid404:
--- Quote from: Kheper on July 18, 2010, 10:39:12 am ---The man version is better. ::)
--- End quote ---
ohkay :P
$tyli$h Executive:
--- Quote from: ~Xena~ on July 17, 2010, 07:29:59 pm ---Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
--- End quote ---
Painful rejections. :P :P
$tyli$h Executive:
--- Quote from: ~Xena~ on July 18, 2010, 06:56:41 am ---I embarrassed you
A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, "Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?"
She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight!" Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table.
After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situations."
To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, "What do you mean $200?"
--- End quote ---
Nice one! :D
A man with brains. :P
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