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Clean jokes thread!!!
Amelia:
Skit.
"He Said He's Met You Before!":
Characters: (1) Old man; (2) Old woman; (3) gas station attendant.
The old married couple is sitting in two chairs up front. They are acting as if they are driving in a car with the old man's hand on the steering wheel. They pull into a gas station, and the old man roles down his window.
Gas station attendant: "Can I help you?"
Old man: "Fill 'er up."
Old Woman: (asks the old man) "What'd he say?"
Old Man: "He asked if he could help us."
Old Woman: "Tell him to fill 'er up."
Old Man: "I told him to fill it up."
Gas station attendant: "Where are you two headed?"
Old Man: "We're going to Disneyland."
Old Woman: "What'd he say?"
Old man: "He asked us where we're headed."
Old Woman: "Tell him we're going to Disneyland."
Old Man: (disgustingly) "I told him we're going to Disneyland!"
Gas station attendant: "Where are you two from?"
Old Man: "We're from Hudsonville."
Old Woman: "What'd he say?"
Old Man: (angrily) "He asked us where we're from!"
Old Woman: "Tell him we're from Hudsonville."
Old Man: (very angry) "I TOLD HIM WE'RE FROM HUDSONVILLE!"
Gas station attendant: "Hudsonville, I've been to Hudsonville before. The women there are DOG UGLY!"
Old Woman: "What'd he say?"
Old Man: (looks at the old woman, then at the gas station attendant, and then back to the old woman and says) "He said he's met you before!"
Curtain closes — or lights go down — and music comes on (ideally), or old woman and man get up and walk out of the room like old folks.
Crooked:
^ Yer jokes are too english. :P
Me: Ask me if im a tree.
Friend: No
Me: ask me if im a tree.
Friend: NO
Me: Ask me if im a tree.
Friend: FINE ARE U A BLOODY TREE??
Me: No. :P
Not even 2012, paranormal activity, shooting, bomb attacks, or failing a class is more terrifying than seeing 5 missed calls from mom. :P :P
Studies say 90% women don't like men in pink T-shirts
IRONICALLY
90% Men in pink T-shirts don't like women. ::) :P
Man walks into elevator.
Blonde: T-G-I-F
Man: S-H-I-T
Blonde (Confused): T--G--I--F--
Man (Slowly): S--H--I--T--
Blonde: T-G-I-F means Thank God It's Friday
Man Giggles: Sorry Honey It's Thursday! :P
*Your about to get arrested*
Cop: Your in a lot of trouble!
You: wait. wait! WAIT.
Cop: WHAT!?
You: Can I update my status to "chilling in jail?" :P
A wife asked her husband: What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?.. He looked at her from head to toe and replied: your sense of humor. :P :
EMO123:
Don't u think that this jokes are much longer
Amelia:
And your jokes are french, Crooky? :D
--- Quote from: EMO123 on February 12, 2011, 11:02:03 am ---Don't u think that this jokes are much longer
--- End quote ---
They are fine. :P
Crooked:
--- Quote from: Amelia on February 12, 2011, 01:50:21 pm ---And your jokes are french, Crooky? :D
--- End quote ---
No, they are hot. :P
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