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Author Topic: Clean jokes thread!!!  (Read 157197 times)

Offline TimmY73

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #1170 on: January 29, 2011, 05:26:13 pm »
Quote from: Amelia on January 11, 2011, 03:56:35 pm
"Mister, why doesn't this cow have any horns?" asked the young lady from a nearby city. The farmer cocked his head for a moment, then began in a patient tone, "Well, ma'am, cattle can do a powerful lot of damage with horns. Sometimes we keep'em trimmed down with a hacksaw. Other times we can fix up the young 'uns by puttin' a couple drops of acid where their horns would grow in, and that stops 'em cold. Still, there are some breeds of cattle that never grow horns. But the reason this cow don't have no horns, ma'am, is 'cause it's a horse."



awesome
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I know I aM bAd AnD I No U No it 2!!! :P :P

Amelia

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #1171 on: February 03, 2011, 11:57:15 am »
John Lennon imagined a world filled with peace and love. Martin Luther King dreamt of a world free from racial discrimination and oppression. The guy who invented the Frisbee, dreamt of a world where people would throw a fat, circular object at each other in order to pass the time. He succeeded. :o ::)




Yo' mama so stupid, she got locked in a supermarket and starved to death! :D




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Amelia

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #1172 on: February 03, 2011, 03:41:32 pm »
Classic Example for students of different age grps:

1st to 3rd std- Hey! I studied everythng 4 exam..

4th to 6th std - That ques. was very hard so I left only that quesn.....
...
7th to 10th std - read only imp. questns.

11th std - I think 4 chapters r enuf to get pass.

12th std - kal exam kaunsa hai yaar.

nd in college - oh sh*t! Aaj exam tha?? kisi ne bataya kyon nhi!! :P

Dedicated to all rocking students..!! :D :)See More

 :D

 - Master_Key.
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Offline Crooked

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #1173 on: February 06, 2011, 06:59:19 pm »
Quote from: Amelia on February 03, 2011, 11:57:15 am
John Lennon imagined a world filled with peace and love. Martin Luther King dreamt of a world free from racial discrimination and oppression. The guy who invented the Frisbee, dreamt of a world where people would throw a fat, circular object at each other in order to pass the time. He succeeded. :o ::)




Yo' mama so stupid, she got locked in a supermarket and starved to death! :D




Hahaha, nice ! :D
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Amelia

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #1174 on: February 07, 2011, 06:13:50 pm »
^ thanks.  :P





-.-
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Amelia

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #1175 on: February 11, 2011, 06:54:59 pm »
Skit.

"He Said He's Met You Before!":

Characters: (1) Old man; (2) Old woman; (3) gas station attendant.

The old married couple is sitting in two chairs up front. They are acting as if they are driving in a car with the old man's hand on the steering wheel. They pull into a gas station, and the old man roles down his window.

Gas station attendant: "Can I help you?"

Old man: "Fill 'er up."

Old Woman: (asks the old man) "What'd he say?"

Old Man: "He asked if he could help us."

Old Woman: "Tell him to fill 'er up."

Old Man: "I told him to fill it up."

Gas station attendant: "Where are you two headed?"

Old Man: "We're going to Disneyland."

Old Woman: "What'd he say?"

Old man: "He asked us where we're headed."

Old Woman: "Tell him we're going to Disneyland."

Old Man: (disgustingly) "I told him we're going to Disneyland!"

Gas station attendant: "Where are you two from?"

Old Man: "We're from Hudsonville."

Old Woman: "What'd he say?"

Old Man: (angrily) "He asked us where we're from!"

Old Woman: "Tell him we're from Hudsonville."

Old Man: (very angry) "I TOLD HIM WE'RE FROM HUDSONVILLE!"

Gas station attendant: "Hudsonville, I've been to Hudsonville before. The women there are DOG UGLY!"

Old Woman: "What'd he say?"

Old Man: (looks at the old woman, then at the gas station attendant, and then back to the old woman and says) "He said he's met you before!"



Curtain closes — or lights go down — and music comes on (ideally), or old woman and man get up and walk out of the room like old folks.

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Offline Crooked

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #1176 on: February 11, 2011, 08:46:22 pm »
^ Yer jokes are too english. :P

Me: Ask me if im a tree.
Friend: No
Me: ask me if im a tree.
Friend: NO
Me: Ask me if im a tree.
Friend: FINE ARE U A BLOODY TREE??
Me: No. :P

Not even 2012, paranormal activity, shooting, bomb attacks, or failing a class is more terrifying than seeing 5 missed calls from mom.  :P :P

Studies say 90% women don't like men in pink T-shirts
IRONICALLY
90% Men in pink T-shirts don't like women. ::) :P

Man walks into elevator.
Blonde: T-G-I-F
Man: S-H-I-T
Blonde (Confused): T--G--I--F--
Man (Slowly): S--H--I--T--
Blonde: T-G-I-F means Thank God It's Friday
Man Giggles: Sorry Honey It's Thursday! :P

 *Your about to get arrested*
Cop: Your in a lot of trouble!
You: wait. wait! WAIT.
Cop: WHAT!?
You: Can I update my status to "chilling in jail?"  :P


A wife asked her husband: What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?.. He looked at her from head to toe and replied: your sense of humor. :P :
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Offline EMO123

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #1177 on: February 12, 2011, 11:02:03 am »
Don't u think that this jokes are much longer
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Amelia

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #1178 on: February 12, 2011, 01:50:21 pm »
And your jokes are french, Crooky?  :D


Quote from: EMO123 on February 12, 2011, 11:02:03 am
Don't u think that this jokes are much longer

They are fine.  :P
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Offline Crooked

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #1179 on: February 12, 2011, 02:55:44 pm »
Quote from: Amelia on February 12, 2011, 01:50:21 pm
And your jokes are french, Crooky?  :D


No, they are hot. :P
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Amelia

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #1180 on: February 12, 2011, 07:19:44 pm »
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Offline Crooked

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #1181 on: February 12, 2011, 08:25:00 pm »
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Offline EMO123

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #1182 on: February 16, 2011, 05:47:18 am »
flirting each other ;)
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Amelia

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #1183 on: February 16, 2011, 02:18:38 pm »
Quote from: EMO123 on February 16, 2011, 05:47:18 am
flirting each other ;)

You got that right.  :D :P
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Offline Crooked

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #1184 on: February 17, 2011, 12:06:14 am »
Quote from: Amelia on February 16, 2011, 02:18:38 pm
You got that right.  :D :P

Oh please. Flirt hogi TUM. :P
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