Author Topic: JOKES AND Riddles!!  (Read 371039 times)

Offline LoCo93

  • SF Immigrant
  • **
  • Posts: 51
  • Reputation: 10
Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #2145 on: June 05, 2009, 03:47:12 pm »
i swear i didn gooogle it.. but its old..

kinda new it.. me.. ggenius.. hehe

+ rep me..! YAAAAAAAAY
Urgh.. Bored.. !! help!!! =[

Offline O.T.13.

  • SF V.I.P
  • ********
  • Posts: 6630
  • Reputation: 20760
  • Gender: Male
Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #2146 on: June 05, 2009, 03:48:39 pm »
so yea cryps, am i ryte or wrong?
Nothing is worse than being surrounded by people and yet you still feel lonely

Q80BOY

  • Guest
Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #2147 on: June 05, 2009, 03:52:04 pm »
Children's Answers to Science Exam Questions
 
Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

Q: What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
A: If you are buying a house, they will insist you are well endowed.

Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.

Q: What is artificial insemination?
A: When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorised? (e.g., abdomen.)
A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A, E, I, O and U.

Q: What is the Fibula?
A: A small lie.

Q: What does "varicose" mean?
A: Nearby.

Q: What is the most common form of birth control?
A: Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.

Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section"
A: The caesarean section is a district in Rome.

Q: What is a seizure?
A: A Roman emperor.

Q: What is a terminal illness?
A: When you are sick at the airport

Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A: Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.

Q: What does the word "benign" mean?
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
 

Q80BOY

  • Guest
Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #2148 on: June 05, 2009, 03:55:45 pm »
Birthday Lift (i hope its not over-rated  :P)
 
A woman gets a facelift for her 47th birthday. On her way home, she stops at a newsstand and asks the sales clerk, “How old do you think I am?”

“About 32,” the clerk replies.

“I’m actually 47,” the woman says.

She then goes into McDonald’s and asks the cashier the same question. “I’d guess about 29,” she says.

“Nope, I’m 47,” the woman replies.

Later, as she waits for the bus, she asks an old man the same question. “I’m 78,” he says, “and my eyesight is starting to go. But when I was young, you could determine a woman’s age by putting your hand up her shirt and feeling her boobs.”

Curiosity getting the best of her, she says, “What the hell, go ahead.” He slips his hand up her shirt and, after a few minutes, says, “You’re 47.”

“That’s amazing!” she says, stunned. “How did you know?”

“I was behind you in line at McDonald’s.”
 

Offline Khey [Rainbow]

  • SF Citizen
  • ***
  • Posts: 180
  • Reputation: 922
  • Gender: Female
Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #2149 on: June 05, 2009, 03:58:25 pm »
Shoshou..ur topic is gettin on g8..but do u think it has an end?? :P
m nt askin cuz m sick of this topic but jst wonderin if has any end?

Monica

  • Guest
Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #2150 on: June 05, 2009, 04:00:13 pm »
hahaha..KHEY!! ur not sick of my topic??!! wow!!!

i don't know if its gonna end..it depends on the people who post in it... :P
« Last Edit: June 05, 2009, 04:04:06 pm by Shoshou »

Q80BOY

  • Guest
Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #2151 on: June 05, 2009, 04:01:19 pm »
no its not gonna end !! why should it end ??  :P its fun and time consuming

Monica

  • Guest
Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #2152 on: June 05, 2009, 04:01:45 pm »
and maybe i can remove it...but i dont think i will :P

Q80BOY

  • Guest
Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #2153 on: June 05, 2009, 04:05:21 pm »
and maybe i can remove it...but i dont think i will :P

lol, dont remove it !!   >:(

where would i post my lame jokes then ??  :P

Q80BOY

  • Guest
Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #2154 on: June 05, 2009, 04:06:15 pm »
Two hydrogen atoms
 
Two hydrogen atoms in a bar.
One says to the other 'I've lost my electron'.
'That's terrible' says the other 'Are you sure?'.
'I'm positive'
 

Monica

  • Guest
Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #2155 on: June 05, 2009, 04:07:50 pm »
and maybe i can remove it...but i dont think i will :P

lol, dont remove it !!   >:(

where would i post my lame jokes then ??  :P

haha..i like ur jokes keep postin..actually i was about to post a comment about the age joke haha...but i saw khey's  question...lol

Q80BOY

  • Guest
Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #2156 on: June 05, 2009, 04:12:12 pm »
Missing Wife
 
A guy walks up to a beautiful woman in a shopping mall. "Excuse me" he says "But I've lost my wife here somewhere and I can't find her. Could you please help me?"

"What do you need me to do?" asks the woman.

"Just stand here and talk to me" the man replies.

"How's that going to help?" she asks

"I don't know exactly, but every time I talk to a woman with your'e beauty, my wife appears out of no where!"
 

Q80BOY

  • Guest
Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #2157 on: June 05, 2009, 04:13:15 pm »
Council workers
 
There were two fellas working for the city council, one would dig a hole, the other would follow behind him and fill it in. They worked furiously all day without rest, one guy digging a hole, the other guy filling it in again.

An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn't understand what they were doing. So he asked the hole digger, "I appreciate the effort you're putting into your work, but what's the story? You dig a hole and your partner follows behind and fills it up again.

The hole digger wiped his brow and sighed, "Well, normally we're a three-man team, but the bloke who plants the trees is sick today."
 

Q80BOY

  • Guest
Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #2158 on: June 05, 2009, 04:15:09 pm »
A blonde in a canoe
 
A blonde is driving down the road in the country and spots another blonde, in a canoe, in a wheat field, rowing like crazy.

She slams on the brakes and rolls down the window and yells to the woman,"What are you doing? You're in a field! "

The woman stops briefly to listen and then returns to rowing like mad.
Angry because she's been ignored she yells again,"Hey! Stop that! You're making us blondes look dumb."

Ignored again the blonde in the car yells," You're lucky I can't swim or I'd come out there and kick your A**!"
 

Offline LoCo93

  • SF Immigrant
  • **
  • Posts: 51
  • Reputation: 10
Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #2159 on: June 05, 2009, 04:16:19 pm »
A blonde in a canoe
 
A blonde is driving down the road in the country and spots another blonde, in a canoe, in a wheat field, rowing like crazy.

She slams on the brakes and rolls down the window and yells to the woman,"What are you doing? You're in a field! "

The woman stops briefly to listen and then returns to rowing like mad.
Angry because she's been ignored she yells again,"Hey! Stop that! You're making us blondes look dumb."

Ignored again the blonde in the car yells," You're lucky I can't swim or I'd come out there and kick your A**!"
 



what country..

hahaha
mm bored =[
Urgh.. Bored.. !! help!!! =[