Author Topic: JOKES AND Riddles!!  (Read 337041 times)

Offline dodi23

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #5055 on: June 06, 2010, 02:43:10 pm »
3 nuns die
3 nuns die in a car crash and they go up to heaven and Peters at the gate and he says before you come in i'm afraid you will have to answer a question so he says to the first nun don't worry the questions are very easy so he asks what was the name of the first woman and she says Eve and he says yep your in then he says to the second nun where did eve live and she says Garden of eden and he said yep your in then he says to the third nun which was the mother superior i'm affraid the question is going to have to be a bit harder for you so he asks what did Eve say when she first saw Adam and the nun says ooh thats a hard one and peter says yep your in
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Offline dodi23

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #5056 on: June 06, 2010, 02:48:29 pm »
A psychotherapist, starting from scratch, was having such success in his business that he could now afford to have a proper shop banner advertising his wares. So he told a kid to paint the sign board for him and put it above his shop entrance.

But, instead of his business building up, it began to slacken. He had especially noticed the ladies shying away from his shop after reading the sign board. So he decided to check it out himself. Then he began to understand why!

The boy found a small wooden board so he had to split the word in 3 places.

The sign read:
Psycho-
the-
rapist.
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Offline dodi23

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #5057 on: June 06, 2010, 02:51:12 pm »
a bit sick but hilarious!!! :D

A doctor had the reputation of helping couples increase the joy in their sex life, but always promised not to take a case if he felt he could not help them. The Browns came to see the doctor, and he gave them thorough physical exams, psychological exams, and various tests and then concluded, "Yes, I am happy to say that I believe I can help you."

"On your way home from my office stop at the grocery store and buy some grapes and some doughnuts. Go home, take off your clothes, and you, sir, roll the grapes across the floor until you make a bulls eye in your wife's love canal. Then on hands and knees you must crawl to her like a leopard and retrieve the grape using only your tongue.

"Then next, ma'am, you must take the doughnuts and from across the room, toss them at your husband until you make a ringer around his love pole. Then like a lioness, you must crawl to him and consume the doughnut." The couple went home and their sex life became more and more wonderful.

They told their friends, Mr. & Mrs. Green that they should see the good doctor. The doctor greeted the Greens and said he would not take the case unless he felt that he could help them; so he conducted the physical exams and the same battery of tests.

Then he told the Greens the bad news. "I cannot help you, so I will not take your money. I believe your sex life is as good as it will ever be, I cannot help."

The Greens pleaded with him, and said, "You helped our friends the Browns, now please, please, help us."

"Well, all right", the doctor said. "On your way home from the office, stop at the grocery store and buy some apples and a box of cheerios... "
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Offline dodi23

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #5058 on: June 06, 2010, 02:53:17 pm »
lool im taking over lord kratos!!


A streetwalker was visiting her doctor for a regular check-up. "Any specific problems you should tell me about?" the doctor asked.

"Well, I have noticed lately that if I get even the tiniest cut, it seems to bleed for hours." she replied. "Do you think I might be a hemophiliac?"

"Well," the doctor answered, "Hemophilia is a genetic disorder and it is more often found in men, but it is possible for a woman to be a hemophiliac. Tell me, how much you lose when you have your period?" After calculating for a moment, the hooker replied, "Oh, about seven or eight hundred dollars, I guess."
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Offline dodi23

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #5059 on: June 06, 2010, 02:57:30 pm »
Morris walks into Dr. Cohen's office and puts a note on the table in front of the doctor. The note reads, "I can't talk. Please help me!"

The doctor thinks for a while and says to Morris, "Put your penis on the table here."

Morris thinks this is a bit weird, but Cohen is a specialist, so he does as the doctor says.

The doctor takes a rubber mallet and hits Morris's penis as hard as he can.

The man cries in great agony, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

The doctor says, "Good. Come again tomorrow, and we'll learn B!"
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Offline I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #5060 on: June 06, 2010, 03:14:28 pm »
NOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Imma dying with laughter!!!! Seriously, loooooool :D

Nooooo, dodi, you are goiong to make me jobless!!! >:(

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Offline Priceless

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #5061 on: June 06, 2010, 03:17:27 pm »
OMG......damn hilarious :D :D but du u guyz actualy spend time searching 4 jokes? ???
Don't say "God I have tooo many problems" but say "Problems I have God!"   Gud Luck 2 all 4 xams. Hope v all du well.....fingers crossed LOL

Offline I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #5062 on: June 06, 2010, 03:19:26 pm »
OMG......damn hilarious :D :D but du u guyz actualy spend time searching 4 jokes? ???

Jokes don't come on apple trees. :P Joking :P Yep, we've to search for it dude. ;)
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Offline Priceless

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #5063 on: June 06, 2010, 04:49:42 pm »
hahaha....i guessed dat im sure :P :D but du u guyz dat much of a free time

By the way....im a girl :D

but thnkz 4 da jokes --u guyz make my day atleast fun :)
Don't say "God I have tooo many problems" but say "Problems I have God!"   Gud Luck 2 all 4 xams. Hope v all du well.....fingers crossed LOL

Offline Ukhti-R

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #5064 on: June 07, 2010, 12:33:42 am »
Right guys.

These jokes are sick, I'm sorry to say.

There will be no more dirty jokes posted here.

Thank you.
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« Last Edit: June 07, 2010, 02:54:29 am by Ari Ben Canaan »
"...And whosoever fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a a way for him to get out (from every difficulty). And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine. And whosoever puts his trust in Allah, then He will suffice him." [65: 2-3]

elemis

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #5065 on: June 07, 2010, 03:09:49 am »
In concurrence with what Roxy has said, I will now lock this topic.

You will be free to create a new Joke & Riddles thread with CLEAN JOKES

Sorry, guys, but we cant turn a blind eye anymore.

THANK YOU !

Monica

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #5066 on: June 07, 2010, 03:48:49 am »
In concurrence with what Roxy has said, I will now lock this topic.

You will be free to create a new Joke & Riddles thread with CLEAN JOKES

Sorry, guys, but we cant turn a blind eye anymore.

THANK YOU !

What?!  :o This is my thread since last year!

It shall not be locked! I will unlock but they will just stop posting sick jokes.

This thread was the first in the whole forum to reach 1000 posts, 2000 posts and 3000 posts! It got many good jokes not only sick ones.

Offline I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #5067 on: June 07, 2010, 03:52:38 am »
Hey Ari, WHy is this thread still open? >:(

And here I thought that finally I was going to have my own jokes thread. :(
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Monica

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #5068 on: June 07, 2010, 03:55:25 am »
Hey Ari, WHy is this thread still open? >:(

And here I thought that finally I was going to have my own jokes thread. :(

OVER MY DEAD BODY!

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

This thread shall remain forever the MAIN source of humor because it got a HIGH number of posts since like last year!

It should actually be made sticky!  :P

Offline I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #5069 on: June 07, 2010, 04:00:57 am »
OVER MY DEAD BODY!


So where do you want your dead body? :P In the ceiling, or the top of the roof or in the garden with worms ? :P

Seriously, this thread is so old that no one bothers  to read the first 250 pages. :P I started posting after that. :P
So why don't you throw this into the garbage bin and let me create a new thread? ::)  :P
If you don't like my driving, then stay off the sidewalk