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JOKES AND Riddles!!
I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!:
Another one! It’s pretty rude, though… ::)
A psychiatrist called three women in for a test with their children. After long hours of testing, he found a serious obsession in all of the mothers.
He told the first, “you have a severe obsession with food. You called your daughter Candy!”
He told the second, “you are freakishly obsessed with money; you named your daughter Penny!”
Before the third mother could be told what her obsession was, she lead her son out of the office saying, “We don’t need to hear this, d*ck.”
Sorry, I hope its not too dirty.... I was running out of jokes :P
I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!:
Another :P
An elderly couple goes to Burger King and share their fries and burger. A trucker sitting next to them offers to pay for the old lady. "It's all right," says the old man husband. "We always share everything." On seeing that the old lady has not eaten anything anything, the trucker once again makes an offer. The old man once again assures the trucker to stay calm and resumes eating. Finally, the trucker asks the lady about why she is not eating. The old lady replies, " I am waiting for the teeth".
theone:
--- Quote from: lord kratos on May 24, 2010, 04:16:09 pm ---A man is in a desert, dehydrated and almost dried up, when he sees a stable up ahead.
He crawls over to it and knocks on the door. A man comes out, sees the poor man and nurses him back to health. When the man is better the nice man loads up a horse with food and water and put the man on it.
“Now, this horse is special.” he says. “To make him go, you say ‘thank god’ to make him stop, you say halleljuah.
The man thanks him and leaves, while yelling thank god. After an hour of riding, he starts to see a cliff ledge ahead. thank god! he says.
He forgets how you make the horse stop. thank god! thank god! he says but the horse keeps gaining speed.Then, a few feet from the edge, he remembers. HALLELJUAH! he screams, as the horse screeches to a halt, inches away from the cliif edge. “thank god” he says
--- End quote ---
ha ha cute
theone:
--- Quote from: lord kratos on May 24, 2010, 04:24:05 pm ---Another one! It’s pretty rude, though… ::)
A psychiatrist called three women in for a test with their children. After long hours of testing, he found a serious obsession in all of the mothers.
He told the first, “you have a severe obsession with food. You called your daughter Candy!”
He told the second, “you are freakishly obsessed with money; you named your daughter Penny!”
Before the third mother could be told what her obsession was, she lead her son out of the office saying, “We don’t need to hear this, d*ck.”
Sorry, I hope its not too dirty.... I was running out of jokes :P
--- End quote ---
not that dirty but very funny
I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!:
Another ha haa
Brad, a local beachgoer, couldn't even get a second look from any of the girls on the beach. So he headed over to the lifeguard tower to see if the lifeguard had any advice for him.
"Dude, it's obvious," said the lifeguard. "You're wearing those gnarly old swimming trunks that make you look like an old geezer. They're years outta style. Your best bet is to get yourself a Speedo—say, two sizes too small—and drop a potato inside it. You'll have all the babes you can handle."
The following weekend, Brad hits the beach with his brand-spanking-new tight Speedo and his potato, and it's not long before he approaches the lifeguard tower once more.
"For cryin' out loud," said Brad, "it's worse than before! Everyone on the beach acts disgusted as I walk by—covering their faces, turning away, laughing! What's wrong now?"
"Jeez, Brad!" said the lifeguard, "The potato goes in front!"
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