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JOKES AND Riddles!!
nid404:
--- Quote from: Kimo Jesus on May 21, 2010, 02:49:53 pm ---Ya Doctor! I have a serious problem, I can never remember what i just said.
When did you first notice this problem?
What problem?
Old Man Marries a Young Woman
After marrying a young woman, a 90-year-old man told his doctor that they were expecting a baby.
"Let me tell you a story," said the doctor. "An absent-minded fellow went hunting, but instead of a gun, he brought an umbrella. Suddenly a bear charged at him. Pointing his umbrella at the bear, he shot and killed it on the spot."
"Impossible!" the Old Man said "Somebody else must have shot that bear."
"Exactly," replied the doctor.
--- End quote ---
lol :P :D
I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!:
WORDS OF WISDOM!!! :P
Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse.
It take many nails to build crib but one screw to fill it.
Baseball is wrong. Man with four balls cannot walk.
He who eats too many prunes, sits on toilet many moons
Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
It's always darkest before dawn.
So if you're going to steal the neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
Man who fishes in other man's well often catches crabs.
Man who farts in church sits in his own pew.
Man who go to bed with itchy butt wake up with stinky fingers. :P
immortal:
A retired gentleman ::)
A retired gentleman went to Social Welfare Office to apply for the Old Age Pension. The woman behind the counter asked him for his driver's license to verify his age. He looked in his pockets and realized he had left his wallet at home.
He told the woman that he was very sorry but he seemed to have left his wallet at home. "I will have to go home and come back later." he said.
The woman says, "Unbutton your shirt." So he opens his shirt revealing curly silver hair. She says, "That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me" and she processed his Old Age Pension application.
When he returned home, the man excitedly tells his wife about his experience at the Welfare office. She says, "You should have dropped your pants. You might have got the Disability Pension, too."
I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!:
Nice one !!!! just read it yesterday but still nice ;)
I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!:
here's another :P
Gynecologist Guessing Game ::)
A beautiful, voluptuous woman went to a local gynecologist. The doctor took one look at her and all his professionalism went out the window. He immediately asked her to undress, afterwhich the doctor began to stroke her thigh.
Doing so, he asked her, "Do you know what I'm doing?" "Yes," she replied, "you're checking for any abrasions or dermatological abnormalities." "That is right," said the doctor.
He then began to fondle her breasts. "Do you know what I'm doing now?" he asked. "Yes," the woman said, "you're checking for any lumps or breast cancer." "Correct," replied the shady doctor.
Finally, he mounted his patient and started having sexual intercourse with her. He asked, "Do you know what I'm doing now?" "Yes," she said. "You're getting herpes; which is why I came here in the first place." :o
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