Marriage in Islam <3

[Romeesa-Chan]

I WAS FOURTEEN,

..when I first contemplated marriage. I was watching my eldest sister getting engaged and then soon married off to her best friend, crush, and admirer from childhood. Then a few months later, I watched her best friend get engaged and soon married off as well.
I remember when my mother told me that my sister Emina would get married. I remember grabbing the house phone, running into my parents closet, calling up my best friend (who was Nora at that time) and sharing with her the news. You’re the only one who knows I remember whispering to her don’t tell anyone.
But I didn’t know what being married meant until the morning of her wedding where they packed all her bags and escorted her to her father in laws van. But before that, I remember being in my sisters room and listening to my father on the phone (with the sheikh who would marry her and enis) answering some basic questions. I remember my father asking Emina when her birthday is; when Enis’s birthday is. That morning, that was all I thought about.
The only time I cried for Emina was after we drove off from her wedding day. She, of course, was happy as hell. I don’t remember why I was crying, I just remember having my cousin (who flew from Bosnia to attend my sisters wedding) let me sob on her shoulder.
Then I started the eighth grade. So many things were happening during this year. My crush (this guy I knew since I was a little girl) intensified that year. That year, I had girl drama over who was going to be my best friend or not. That year, I remember cutting out pictures of my Emina into my journal and decorating the page with lipstick marks and glitter. And that year, I thought too hard about marriage.
During my freshman year of highschool, my grades immensly went up. I was soon getting grades no less than 90, became close with the school staff and administration, and contemplating about starting a school’s newspaper.
Between my freshman and sophomore year, two vital things happened in my life. One, my only eldest sister was pregnant. And two, the first guy I ever spoke to was (my six year in length) crush.
When Maryam was born, a little part of me was born too. I had this obsession of making sure that this baby knew how much I loved her, and her mom, and her life, and what I would do to protect her and love her forever. And so when Maryam became one and a half and started walking, we took her to the zoo to celebrate. When she was almost two and began to speak, we had her sleep over for the first time without her parents, and treated her with endless days at the park and baskin robbins treats across the street. And when Abdullah was born, my life had ultimately enriched to an indescribable degree.
But before Emina was pregnant for the second time, I spoke to the guy that I liked. I basically told him how intense of a crush I had on him; that definitely stroked his ego which is why he probably promised the stupid things that he did. Long story short, he began observing religious duties and concluded it was wrong to speak to girls.
I am nineteen years of age; just turned nineteen to be exact. I am in my sophomore year of college, and there is not a day that passes by that I do not contemplate marriage.
But my notion of marriage has obviously evolved; I am - in some form - happy that I have yet to approve of a man who is worth my love, energy, time, affection, and virgnity (that’s right boi’s).
Today, I had a young lady ask me for advice. She described to me her personal scenario of a guy who was willing to wait a few years for her until she was ready to get married. She told me that she really admired him - and him her - but felt uneasy being with him in the way that they were. I dont feel right, she said, it doesn’t feel okay.
People have a right to question the equation of marriage and the Islamic world. I, too, am further observing this issue at a psychological level. But what people don’t seem to notice is how marriage is viewed by Muslims; its something to pay close attention to and observe.
I might be nineteen, but many people have told me I do not mentally replicate this age. And so my duty as citizen of the Ummah is to advise girls about issues I feel I am capable to advise about.
My dearest love, do not fret. Do not fret about marriage. Do not fret about love and whether you’ll ever possess it. Do not fret about when your time will come. Do not fret about who the guy will be. Everything belongs in the dominion of Allah. You must place full effort about making decisions in your life, but Allah is the Rabb of your result.
I do not understand why guys put Muslim girls in this position, but then again I do. Both seek compassion, love, and haya whilst being halal.
Brothers and sisters, it will not work. It does not work. Your plans are ideas written in thin air which therefore holds no value in the decree of Allah. The effort is yours to possess, the end result is Allah’s. My advice is this: don’t put yourself in tight situations. Be sincere in your intent, have haya when you deal with these issues, and be mindful of Allah.
You want to find a partner? By all means. But never forget the values Rasulilah wishes to instill in all of us: haya, respect, and being mindful of Allah.
Its cute and giggly and sweet and heart thrusting and lovely; I know. But don’t lose yourself in any moment of your conquest for love.
If you like eachother; if he likes you, you will be able to speak to him about your feelings. Be a woman of courage, tell him that this makes you feel uncomfortable and that you both should agree on some sort of conclusion or solution. Trust me, this is the only way. If you stay quiet and let it pass, or convince yourself that he’s a good Muslim guy and will protect you, or wish to believe its not that serious, you are putting yourself at ultimate spiritual, emotional, and mental risk.
The only reason I am willing to say yes to the man who I am currently considering now is because he is the most respect and decent man I have ever met. He is respectful, observes his responsibilities, and is ultimately mature. The only reason I pray that Allah brings us together is because he observes the most important Islamic values taught to us by Rasulilah. I would rather wait, struggle, and know that I’ll end up with him than throw myself into a relationship and be able to get married as soon as I want it to be.
And young lady, you are ever so strong. Never - not for a moment - hesitate to speak to me about anything. You’re young, bright, and beautiful; no man wouldn’t think the same. But be mindful of Allah. When you are, Allah does nothing but have your future be the Rubb of your effort.

wa fi amanillah

source ~

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It was such a beautiful read, Masha Allah. She spoke my mind out. <3

[Ukhti-R]

masha'Allah.

That was so lovely.

Thank you so much for sharing (: xxx

[Romeesa-Chan]

masha'Allah.

That was so lovely.

Thank you so much for sharing (: xxx

I know. I loved it so much!

Thank you for reading. xx

[Romeesa-Chan]

The picture was made and my wedding was set, the only last step was istakara. Alhumduiallah I had been okay with praying istakara for all my other situations but that night something felt very weird. Was she the right girl? I wanted to say yes, I was a 33 year old bachelor and had never seen someone so perfect but a tiny piece inside me was questioning. I had made istakara every night and the feeling deepened and so had my denial. This girl had the looks of the best super model and the actions of a companion of the prophet and even liked basketball. I had continued to make istakara, although I had known it was a “no”. I even had considered going against my istakara. Why? Why? Why? I had asked. I could not understand, but I knew what I had to do. I cried for what seemed like months, I guess you can say I am a sensitive guy. I had asked and prayed, all I wanted was a good girl to spend the rest of my life with and it was gone in a blink of a second. How could something so perfect, be bad?
Years passed and alhumduiallah, I am now blessed with a beautiful wife and children, I don’t regret them but sometimes I wonder why I had to wait two more years to get my princess.
That perfect girl was not so perfect, soon after Mahmood’s break off of the engagement, Tanya was arrested for shop lifting.

“…it is possible that ye dislike a thing which is good for you, and that ye love a thing which is bad for you. but Allah knoweth, and ye know not.” 2:216

~ We were made in Jannah. We were made for Jannah.
This is simply our journey to our final home. ~


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Reading this gives me so much hope, alhamdulillah.

[silvercameron]

Romeesa, a beautiful post ,full of meaning and wise indeed.. Thanks for sharing.

[Romeesa-Chan]

Romeesa, a beautiful post ,full of meaning and wise indeed.. Thanks for sharing.

 
JazakAllah khair.

I really loved it myself. <3

Thank you for reading.

[Ukhti-R]

The picture was made and my wedding was set, the only last step was istakara. Alhumduiallah I had been okay with praying istakara for all my other situations but that night something felt very weird. Was she the right girl? I wanted to say yes, I was a 33 year old bachelor and had never seen someone so perfect but a tiny piece inside me was questioning. I had made istakara every night and the feeling deepened and so had my denial. This girl had the looks of the best super model and the actions of a companion of the prophet and even liked basketball. I had continued to make istakara, although I had known it was a “no”. I even had considered going against my istakara. Why? Why? Why? I had asked. I could not understand, but I knew what I had to do. I cried for what seemed like months, I guess you can say I am a sensitive guy. I had asked and prayed, all I wanted was a good girl to spend the rest of my life with and it was gone in a blink of a second. How could something so perfect, be bad?
Years passed and alhumduiallah, I am now blessed with a beautiful wife and children, I don’t regret them but sometimes I wonder why I had to wait two more years to get my princess.
That perfect girl was not so perfect, soon after Mahmood’s break off of the engagement, Tanya was arrested for shop lifting.

“…it is possible that ye dislike a thing which is good for you, and that ye love a thing which is bad for you. but Allah knoweth, and ye know not.” 2:216

~ We were made in Jannah. We were made for Jannah.
This is simply our journey to our final home. ~


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Reading this gives me so much hope, alhamdulillah.

so he didn't marry her and married another lady?
sub7anallah.

[Romeesa-Chan]

so he didn't marry her and married another lady?
sub7anallah.

Yupe, he left the super model looking one.
MashaAllah. <3

Istikhara helps so much, MashaAllah.

God has never ever deprived us of anything or any kind of help.

He loves us so much and yet we do things that angers Him.

May Allah (SWT) guide us all, InshaAllah. Ameen.

[Malak]

Amazing, loved the first one, it is exactly how I feel about the issue.

The 2nd one <3

Thanks for sharing.

[Romeesa-Chan]

Amazing, loved the first one, it is exactly how I feel about the issue.

The 2nd one <3

Thanks for sharing.

Same here. Good to know that I ain't the only girl.

Thank you for reading.

[Amelia]

Another story:

WIFE: Let’s say, I want a flower located on the face of a mountain cliff, and we both are sure that picking the flower will cause your death, will you do it for me?

My husbanD is an Engineer by profession, I love him for his steady nature.Three years into marriage, I would have to admit, that I am getting tired of it.
ThE reasons of me loving him before, has now transformed into the cause of all my restlessness. I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive when
 it comes to a relationship and my feelings, I yearn for the romantic moments, like a little girl yearning for candy.
My husband, is my complete opposite, his lack of sensitivity, and the inability of bringing romantic moments into our marriage has disheartened me about love.
 One day, I finally decided to tell him my decision, that I wanted a divorce.
“Why???” he asked, shocked. “I am tired, there are no reasons for everything in the world!” I answered. He kept silent the whole night, seems to be in deep
 thought with a lighted cigarette at all times.
My feeling of disappointment only increased, here was a man who can’t even express his predicament, what else can I hope from him? And finally he asked me:”
 What can I do to change your mind???”
 Somebody said it right, it’s hard to change a person’s personality, and I guess, I have started losing faith in him.

Looking deep into his eyes I slowly answered : “Here is the question, if you can answer and convince my heart, I will change my mind, Let’s say,
 I want a flower located on the face of a mountain cliff, and we both are sure that picking the flower will cause your death, will you do it for me?”
 He said :
” I will give you your answer tomorrow….” My hopes just sank by listening to his response.
I woke up the next morning to find him gone, and saw a piece of paper with his scratchy handwriting, underneath a milk glass, on the dining table near the
 front door, that goes….

My dear, “I would not pick that flower for you, but please allow me to explain the reasons further..” This first line was already breaking my heart.
 I continued reading. “When you use the computer you always mess up the Software programs, and you cry in front of the screen,
 I have to save my fingers so that I can help to restore the programs.

You always leave the house keys behind, thus I have to save my legs to rush home to open the door for you.
 You love traveling but always lose your way in a new city, I have to save my eyes to show you the way.

You always have the cramps whenever your “good friend” approaches every month, I have to save my palms so that I can calm the cramps in your tummy.
 You like to stay indoors, and I worry that you will be infected by infantile autism. I have to save my mouth to tell you jokes and stories to cure your boredom.

You always stare at the computer, and that will do nothing good for your eyes, I have to save my eyes so that when we grow old, I can help to clip your nails,
and help to remove those annoying white hairs. So I can also hold your hand while strolling down the beach, as you enjoy the sunshine and the beautiful sand…
 and tell you the color of flowers, just like the color of the glow on your young face…

Thus, my dear, unless I am sure that there is someone who loves you more than I do… I could not pick that flower yet, and die..
” My tears fell on the letter, and blurred the ink of his handwriting… and as I continue on reading…
“Now, that you have finished reading my answer, if you are satisfied, please open the front door for I am standing outside bringing your favorite bread and fresh milk…

I rush to pull open the door, and saw his anxious face, clutching tightly with his hands, the milk bottle and loaf of bread…. Now I am very sure that no one will ever love
 me as much as he does, and I have decided to leave the flower alone…

That’s life, and love. When one is surrounded by love, the feeling of excitement fades away, and one tends to ignore the true love that lies in between the peace and dullness.

[Romeesa-Chan]

It was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo beautiful. <3333333333333333333

[Romeesa-Chan]

“…the best among you is the one who is the best towards his wife.” — Prophet Muhammad (saw)

[Ukhti-R]

“…the best among you is the one who is the best towards his wife.” — Prophet Muhammad (saw)

awwwwww <33

[cielo18]

In the Name of Allah, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful

Asalaamu Alaaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatu

This flame is nothing ..."

Qari Muhammad Qayyam (may the mercy of Allah be upon him) related that a great deal of fighting and bloodshed had started prior to the Indo-Pakistan partition of 1947. He said that a very beautiful daughter of a very rich man in a certain community stepped out of her house to visit her aunt, who lived no more than a few streets away. Suddenly a riot erupted as she had gone halfway and she found herself trapped with apparently nowhere to go. She saw a mosque nearby and quickly went inside, sitting in the womens section. The rioting continued late into the night and this girl did not know what to do.

The custodian of the masjid was a very young student there and late at night when he walked through the masjid before locking up he noticed this beautiful young lady. He was a respectful young man who feared Allah and so politely asked her to leave, saying that if she was found there then both would be dishonored and thrown out. She pleaded with him because of the extreme danger outside and so he agreed that she could spend the night, and sat down to study at the opposite end of the masjid.

The girl was unable to sleep with the events of the day in her mind and so watched the young man sitting studying by candle light at the opposite end of the masjid. She kept watching him and was very surprised at something she saw. From time to time this young man would extend his hand and keep it over the open flame, only withdrawing it when the flame obviously became unbearable. He then would resume his studies and continued this throughout the night until the dawn broke.

The young man called the adhan and asked the girl to leave before the congregation started coming to pray since now everything was calm outside. She agreed on the condition that he tell her why he was placing his hand on the candle flame throughout the night. The young man said that that was his own business and so the girl refused to leave until he told her what she wanted to know. The young man gave in and said, I am at the age of youth and strong desire. We were alone and my desire was increasing, and although I was studying the shaytan would occasionally put temptation in my heart. Hence whenever I would feel any temptation I would put my hand on the flame and my fingers would burn. I would say to myself that this flame is nothing compared to the fire of Hell.

The girl left the masjid and reached home, calming her parents fears as to what had happened to her. She also confided in her mother that she wanted to marry the custodian of the mosque near their house. She related the nights events to her parents and said that only such a man with true fear of Allah in his heart can be true to his wife. Only such a man who truly fears Allah can fulfill a wifes rights properly.

Hence the poor custodian of the mosque earned the daughter of a rich household in marriage. He received this honor not because of his looks but because of his character. Everything disintegrates and turns to dust but character remains strong. Honor is not bestowed because of handsome clothes or beautiful jewelry but because of what is in the heart. Knowledge is only beneficial when it is captured within the heart, and not merely written in books