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I WAS FOURTEEN,
..when I first contemplated marriage. I was watching my eldest sister getting engaged and then soon married off to her best friend, crush, and admirer from childhood. Then a few months later, I watched her best friend get engaged and soon married off as well.
I remember when my mother told me that my sister Emina would get married. I remember grabbing the house phone, running into my parents closet, calling up my best friend (who was Nora at that time) and sharing with her the news. You’re the only one who knows I remember whispering to her don’t tell anyone.
But I didn’t know what being married meant until the morning of her wedding where they packed all her bags and escorted her to her father in laws van. But before that, I remember being in my sisters room and listening to my father on the phone (with the sheikh who would marry her and enis) answering some basic questions. I remember my father asking Emina when her birthday is; when Enis’s birthday is. That morning, that was all I thought about.
The only time I cried for Emina was after we drove off from her wedding day. She, of course, was happy as hell. I don’t remember why I was crying, I just remember having my cousin (who flew from Bosnia to attend my sisters wedding) let me sob on her shoulder.
Then I started the eighth grade. So many things were happening during this year. My crush (this guy I knew since I was a little girl) intensified that year. That year, I had girl drama over who was going to be my best friend or not. That year, I remember cutting out pictures of my Emina into my journal and decorating the page with lipstick marks and glitter. And that year, I thought too hard about marriage.
During my freshman year of highschool, my grades immensly went up. I was soon getting grades no less than 90, became close with the school staff and administration, and contemplating about starting a school’s newspaper.
Between my freshman and sophomore year, two vital things happened in my life. One, my only eldest sister was pregnant. And two, the first guy I ever spoke to was (my six year in length) crush.
When Maryam was born, a little part of me was born too. I had this obsession of making sure that this baby knew how much I loved her, and her mom, and her life, and what I would do to protect her and love her forever. And so when Maryam became one and a half and started walking, we took her to the zoo to celebrate. When she was almost two and began to speak, we had her sleep over for the first time without her parents, and treated her with endless days at the park and baskin robbins treats across the street. And when Abdullah was born, my life had ultimately enriched to an indescribable degree.
But before Emina was pregnant for the second time, I spoke to the guy that I liked. I basically told him how intense of a crush I had on him; that definitely stroked his ego which is why he probably promised the stupid things that he did. Long story short, he began observing religious duties and concluded it was wrong to speak to girls.
I am nineteen years of age; just turned nineteen to be exact. I am in my sophomore year of college, and there is not a day that passes by that I do not contemplate marriage.
But my notion of marriage has obviously evolved; I am - in some form - happy that I have yet to approve of a man who is worth my love, energy, time, affection, and virgnity (that’s right boi’s).
Today, I had a young lady ask me for advice. She described to me her personal scenario of a guy who was willing to wait a few years for her until she was ready to get married. She told me that she really admired him - and him her - but felt uneasy being with him in the way that they were. I dont feel right, she said, it doesn’t feel okay.
People have a right to question the equation of marriage and the Islamic world. I, too, am further observing this issue at a psychological level. But what people don’t seem to notice is how marriage is viewed by Muslims; its something to pay close attention to and observe.
I might be nineteen, but many people have told me I do not mentally replicate this age. And so my duty as citizen of the Ummah is to advise girls about issues I feel I am capable to advise about.
My dearest love, do not fret. Do not fret about marriage. Do not fret about love and whether you’ll ever possess it. Do not fret about when your time will come. Do not fret about who the guy will be. Everything belongs in the dominion of Allah. You must place full effort about making decisions in your life, but Allah is the Rabb of your result.
I do not understand why guys put Muslim girls in this position, but then again I do. Both seek compassion, love, and haya whilst being halal.
Brothers and sisters, it will not work. It does not work. Your plans are ideas written in thin air which therefore holds no value in the decree of Allah. The effort is yours to possess, the end result is Allah’s. My advice is this: don’t put yourself in tight situations. Be sincere in your intent, have haya when you deal with these issues, and be mindful of Allah.
You want to find a partner? By all means. But never forget the values Rasulilah wishes to instill in all of us: haya, respect, and being mindful of Allah.
Its cute and giggly and sweet and heart thrusting and lovely; I know. But don’t lose yourself in any moment of your conquest for love.
If you like eachother; if he likes you, you will be able to speak to him about your feelings. Be a woman of courage, tell him that this makes you feel uncomfortable and that you both should agree on some sort of conclusion or solution. Trust me, this is the only way. If you stay quiet and let it pass, or convince yourself that he’s a good Muslim guy and will protect you, or wish to believe its not that serious, you are putting yourself at ultimate spiritual, emotional, and mental risk.
The only reason I am willing to say yes to the man who I am currently considering now is because he is the most respect and decent man I have ever met. He is respectful, observes his responsibilities, and is ultimately mature. The only reason I pray that Allah brings us together is because he observes the most important Islamic values taught to us by Rasulilah. I would rather wait, struggle, and know that I’ll end up with him than throw myself into a relationship and be able to get married as soon as I want it to be.
And young lady, you are ever so strong. Never - not for a moment - hesitate to speak to me about anything. You’re young, bright, and beautiful; no man wouldn’t think the same. But be mindful of Allah. When you are, Allah does nothing but have your future be the Rubb of your effort.
wa fi amanillah
source ~ (http://struckbyurlove.tumblr.com/post/12992468207/i-was-fourteen)
====================================================================
It was such a beautiful read, Masha Allah. She spoke my mind out. <3
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masha'Allah.
That was so lovely.
Thank you so much for sharing (: xxx
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masha'Allah.
That was so lovely.
Thank you so much for sharing (: xxx
I know. :-[ I loved it so much! :D
Thank you for reading. xx :-*
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(http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ltmmdwHoec1qiilewo1_500.jpg)
The picture was made and my wedding was set, the only last step was istakara. Alhumduiallah I had been okay with praying istakara for all my other situations but that night something felt very weird. Was she the right girl? I wanted to say yes, I was a 33 year old bachelor and had never seen someone so perfect but a tiny piece inside me was questioning. I had made istakara every night and the feeling deepened and so had my denial. This girl had the looks of the best super model and the actions of a companion of the prophet and even liked basketball. I had continued to make istakara, although I had known it was a “no”. I even had considered going against my istakara. Why? Why? Why? I had asked. I could not understand, but I knew what I had to do. I cried for what seemed like months, I guess you can say I am a sensitive guy. I had asked and prayed, all I wanted was a good girl to spend the rest of my life with and it was gone in a blink of a second. How could something so perfect, be bad?
Years passed and alhumduiallah, I am now blessed with a beautiful wife and children, I don’t regret them but sometimes I wonder why I had to wait two more years to get my princess.
That perfect girl was not so perfect, soon after Mahmood’s break off of the engagement, Tanya was arrested for shop lifting.
“…it is possible that ye dislike a thing which is good for you, and that ye love a thing which is bad for you. but Allah knoweth, and ye know not.” 2:216
~ We were made in Jannah. We were made for Jannah.
This is simply our journey to our final home. ~
========================================================================================================
Reading this gives me so much hope, alhamdulillah. :D
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Romeesa, a beautiful post ,full of meaning and wise indeed.. Thanks for sharing.
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Romeesa, a beautiful post ,full of meaning and wise indeed.. Thanks for sharing.
JazakAllah khair. :D
I really loved it myself. <3
Thank you for reading. :)
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(http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ltmmdwHoec1qiilewo1_500.jpg)
The picture was made and my wedding was set, the only last step was istakara. Alhumduiallah I had been okay with praying istakara for all my other situations but that night something felt very weird. Was she the right girl? I wanted to say yes, I was a 33 year old bachelor and had never seen someone so perfect but a tiny piece inside me was questioning. I had made istakara every night and the feeling deepened and so had my denial. This girl had the looks of the best super model and the actions of a companion of the prophet and even liked basketball. I had continued to make istakara, although I had known it was a “no”. I even had considered going against my istakara. Why? Why? Why? I had asked. I could not understand, but I knew what I had to do. I cried for what seemed like months, I guess you can say I am a sensitive guy. I had asked and prayed, all I wanted was a good girl to spend the rest of my life with and it was gone in a blink of a second. How could something so perfect, be bad?
Years passed and alhumduiallah, I am now blessed with a beautiful wife and children, I don’t regret them but sometimes I wonder why I had to wait two more years to get my princess.
That perfect girl was not so perfect, soon after Mahmood’s break off of the engagement, Tanya was arrested for shop lifting.
“…it is possible that ye dislike a thing which is good for you, and that ye love a thing which is bad for you. but Allah knoweth, and ye know not.” 2:216
~ We were made in Jannah. We were made for Jannah.
This is simply our journey to our final home. ~
========================================================================================================
Reading this gives me so much hope, alhamdulillah. :D
so he didn't marry her and married another lady?
sub7anallah.
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so he didn't marry her and married another lady?
sub7anallah.
Yupe, he left the super model looking one. :P :P
MashaAllah. <3
Istikhara helps so much, MashaAllah. :D
God has never ever deprived us of anything or any kind of help.
He loves us so much and yet we do things that angers Him.
May Allah (SWT) guide us all, InshaAllah. Ameen. :)
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Amazing, loved the first one, it is exactly how I feel about the issue.
The 2nd one <3
Thanks for sharing.
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Amazing, loved the first one, it is exactly how I feel about the issue.
The 2nd one <3
Thanks for sharing.
Same here. ::) Good to know that I ain't the only girl. :P
Thank you for reading. :)
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Another story:
WIFE: Let’s say, I want a flower located on the face of a mountain cliff, and we both are sure that picking the flower will cause your death, will you do it for me?
My husbanD is an Engineer by profession, I love him for his steady nature.Three years into marriage, I would have to admit, that I am getting tired of it.
ThE reasons of me loving him before, has now transformed into the cause of all my restlessness. I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive when
it comes to a relationship and my feelings, I yearn for the romantic moments, like a little girl yearning for candy.
My husband, is my complete opposite, his lack of sensitivity, and the inability of bringing romantic moments into our marriage has disheartened me about love.
One day, I finally decided to tell him my decision, that I wanted a divorce.
“Why???” he asked, shocked. “I am tired, there are no reasons for everything in the world!” I answered. He kept silent the whole night, seems to be in deep
thought with a lighted cigarette at all times.
My feeling of disappointment only increased, here was a man who can’t even express his predicament, what else can I hope from him? And finally he asked me:”
What can I do to change your mind???”
Somebody said it right, it’s hard to change a person’s personality, and I guess, I have started losing faith in him.
Looking deep into his eyes I slowly answered : “Here is the question, if you can answer and convince my heart, I will change my mind, Let’s say,
I want a flower located on the face of a mountain cliff, and we both are sure that picking the flower will cause your death, will you do it for me?”
He said :
” I will give you your answer tomorrow….” My hopes just sank by listening to his response.
I woke up the next morning to find him gone, and saw a piece of paper with his scratchy handwriting, underneath a milk glass, on the dining table near the
front door, that goes….
My dear, “I would not pick that flower for you, but please allow me to explain the reasons further..” This first line was already breaking my heart.
I continued reading. “When you use the computer you always mess up the Software programs, and you cry in front of the screen,
I have to save my fingers so that I can help to restore the programs.
You always leave the house keys behind, thus I have to save my legs to rush home to open the door for you.
You love traveling but always lose your way in a new city, I have to save my eyes to show you the way.
You always have the cramps whenever your “good friend” approaches every month, I have to save my palms so that I can calm the cramps in your tummy.
You like to stay indoors, and I worry that you will be infected by infantile autism. I have to save my mouth to tell you jokes and stories to cure your boredom.
You always stare at the computer, and that will do nothing good for your eyes, I have to save my eyes so that when we grow old, I can help to clip your nails,
and help to remove those annoying white hairs. So I can also hold your hand while strolling down the beach, as you enjoy the sunshine and the beautiful sand…
and tell you the color of flowers, just like the color of the glow on your young face…
Thus, my dear, unless I am sure that there is someone who loves you more than I do… I could not pick that flower yet, and die..
” My tears fell on the letter, and blurred the ink of his handwriting… and as I continue on reading…
“Now, that you have finished reading my answer, if you are satisfied, please open the front door for I am standing outside bringing your favorite bread and fresh milk…
I rush to pull open the door, and saw his anxious face, clutching tightly with his hands, the milk bottle and loaf of bread…. Now I am very sure that no one will ever love
me as much as he does, and I have decided to leave the flower alone…
That’s life, and love. When one is surrounded by love, the feeling of excitement fades away, and one tends to ignore the true love that lies in between the peace and dullness.
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It was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo beautiful. :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( <3333333333333333333
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(http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lpw6tdBwY41r178sto1_500.jpg)
“…the best among you is the one who is the best towards his wife.” — Prophet Muhammad (saw)
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(http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lpw6tdBwY41r178sto1_500.jpg)
“…the best among you is the one who is the best towards his wife.” — Prophet Muhammad (saw)
awwwwww <33
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In the Name of Allah, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful
Asalaamu Alaaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatu
This flame is nothing ..."
Qari Muhammad Qayyam (may the mercy of Allah be upon him) related that a great deal of fighting and bloodshed had started prior to the Indo-Pakistan partition of 1947. He said that a very beautiful daughter of a very rich man in a certain community stepped out of her house to visit her aunt, who lived no more than a few streets away. Suddenly a riot erupted as she had gone halfway and she found herself trapped with apparently nowhere to go. She saw a mosque nearby and quickly went inside, sitting in the womens section. The rioting continued late into the night and this girl did not know what to do.
The custodian of the masjid was a very young student there and late at night when he walked through the masjid before locking up he noticed this beautiful young lady. He was a respectful young man who feared Allah and so politely asked her to leave, saying that if she was found there then both would be dishonored and thrown out. She pleaded with him because of the extreme danger outside and so he agreed that she could spend the night, and sat down to study at the opposite end of the masjid.
The girl was unable to sleep with the events of the day in her mind and so watched the young man sitting studying by candle light at the opposite end of the masjid. She kept watching him and was very surprised at something she saw. From time to time this young man would extend his hand and keep it over the open flame, only withdrawing it when the flame obviously became unbearable. He then would resume his studies and continued this throughout the night until the dawn broke.
The young man called the adhan and asked the girl to leave before the congregation started coming to pray since now everything was calm outside. She agreed on the condition that he tell her why he was placing his hand on the candle flame throughout the night. The young man said that that was his own business and so the girl refused to leave until he told her what she wanted to know. The young man gave in and said, I am at the age of youth and strong desire. We were alone and my desire was increasing, and although I was studying the shaytan would occasionally put temptation in my heart. Hence whenever I would feel any temptation I would put my hand on the flame and my fingers would burn. I would say to myself that this flame is nothing compared to the fire of Hell.
The girl left the masjid and reached home, calming her parents fears as to what had happened to her. She also confided in her mother that she wanted to marry the custodian of the mosque near their house. She related the nights events to her parents and said that only such a man with true fear of Allah in his heart can be true to his wife. Only such a man who truly fears Allah can fulfill a wifes rights properly.
Hence the poor custodian of the mosque earned the daughter of a rich household in marriage. He received this honor not because of his looks but because of his character. Everything disintegrates and turns to dust but character remains strong. Honor is not bestowed because of handsome clothes or beautiful jewelry but because of what is in the heart. Knowledge is only beneficial when it is captured within the heart, and not merely written in books
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LOOOL Romeesa and Roxy, you guys seem so excited about weddings. Urgh, ask me, I am like so disappointed to see guys these days that I am not sure I'd ever find anyone who'd be compatible with me ::)
But anyways, who cares, I leave it to Allah. I am sure whatever and whoever it is going to be, will surely be worth it. :P :P
Till grade 9 I hated weddings. I was an anti-marriage person. Trust me. :P I realized that it is something Allah loves a lot, so changed my thoughts. My best friend used to be very worried cos of my attitude LOLLL. I miss her so much, By the way. Anyways, guys, I have a question, who among you is getting married first..HAHAHAAAAAAAAA, please do invite me over. ::) :P
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You'd find more than 90% of the posts posted by girls in this board. :P
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I wish I could say me, InshaAllah :P
Maybe in a couple of years bi'ithnillah :)
And yes, I'd let you all know, but when it happens- I'll have to leave SF. :/
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I wish I could say me, InshaAllah :P
Maybe in a couple of years bi'ithnillah :)
And yes, I'd let you all know, but when it happens- I'll have to leave SF. :/
Bring in your children. I tell you, make them like SF and Debates and Morality Boards, and hopefully, they shall have no time left for Facebook. ::)
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We can get the husbands to like SF as well, and maybe they'll agree to stay and help ::)
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LOOOOOOOOOOL!! Guys, you're all crazy. :P
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By the way, Roxy, what is 'bi'ithnillah' ??
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LOL, family planning, Amelia? :P
MH, we are girls. ::)
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Excuse me Ma'am, I am a girl too. A proud girl :P but c'mon, there is something like privacy, okay :P. Gosh, I am going to have to run away before this discussion goes really far. ::)
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You don't have to run, the guys will though. When they see what us girls here are thinking off. LOOL.
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We're just kidding, come on. Who will ask her husband to get here when instead they should be spending time with us... ::)
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Bring in your children. I tell you, make them like SF and Debates and Morality Boards, and hopefully, they shall have no time left for Facebook. ::)
My husband will not appreciate that ::) :P But yes, a good distraction away from sillyness such as Fb and Twitter!
We can get the husbands to like SF as well, and maybe they'll agree to stay and help ::)
LOOOOL. Maybe yours, but not mine :P
By the way, Roxy, what is 'bi'ithnillah' ??
It means with Allah's permission. Similar to InshaAllah :)
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We're just kidding, come on. Who will ask her husband to get here when instead they should be spending time with us... ::)
LOOOOL Someone's exposing their romantic side :P
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Lol Roxy. You need some job. I'm taking you. :P
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Lol Roxy. You need some job. I'm taking you. :P
Like I don't have enough on my plate ::) :P lol jk
Take as you please ;D
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Like I don't have enough on my plate ::) :P lol jk
Take as you please ;D
No... yes... yes... no?
Typically women-like. :P
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No... yes... yes... no?
Typically women-like. :P
I don't mind :)
hehe :P
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I don't mind :)
hehe :P
Nah, it's fine. My co-worker and I agree that your focus should be on your essays right now. When you are free, we will bother you. ;)
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Nah, it's fine. My co-worker and I agree that your focus should be on your essays right now. When you are free, we will bother you. ;)
Give me 6 days and I will be all yours ;D
inshaAllah :)
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Give me 6 days and I will be all yours ;D
inshaAllah :)
9+6= 15. Date we're supposed to issue. :-\
It's okay. No worries. :)
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LOOOL Romeesa and Roxy, you guys seem so excited about weddings. Urgh, ask me, I am like so disappointed to see guys these days that I am not sure I'd ever find anyone who'd be compatible with me ::)
But anyways, who cares, I leave it to Allah. I am sure whatever and whoever it is going to be, will surely be worth it. :P :P
Till grade 9 I hated weddings. I was an anti-marriage person. Trust me. :P I realized that it is something Allah loves a lot, so changed my thoughts. My best friend used to be very worried cos of my attitude LOLLL. I miss her so much, By the way. Anyways, guys, I have a question, who among you is getting married first..HAHAHAAAAAAAAA, please do invite me over. ::) :P
Ahem. :P It is something I am 'fond' of but yeah ... I have my patience and Dua going on. :P
Same here. ::)
Not me. If I did, I'd let you all know ... :P :P
100% of the posters in this thread are girls... excluding this post, that is. Hmmmm..... ::) :P
That includes you too ... :P
Who will ask her husband to get here when instead they should be spending time with us... ::)
Such a sweet post. :P
Nah, it's fine. My co-worker and I agree that your focus should be on your essays right now. When you are free, we will bother you. ;)
Is Amelia the 'co-worker' ... ? Sounds kinda funnyyy :P but cute! :D
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9+6= 15. Date we're supposed to issue. :-\
It's okay. No worries. :)
Okay- How about you tell me what I have to do and I'll work on it? alongside with my essays? That might be possible because I'm not devoting 24 hours to my essays ::)
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Okay- How about you tell me what I have to do and I'll work on it? alongside with my essays? That might be possible because I'm not devoting 24 hours to my essays ::)
Okay then. I really wanted to select you cause I know you have it inborn. PM an email address where I can send you an attachment. Or if am not here, PM it to Amelia.
Thank you Roxy. :)
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Okay then. I really wanted to select you cause I know you have it inborn. PM an email address where I can send you an attachment. Or if am not here, PM it to Amelia.
Thank you Roxy. :)
inborn?! I wish ::)
I'm just upfront and blatant, not witty :P
Ok- I'll inbox you now x
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Romeesa, Amelia is my co-worker, secretary, boss, everything. :D
Roxy, thank you. :)
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If you can't love her in a jilbab/hijab/niqab, you can't truly love her in anything else either. She will be most beautiful to you when she is obeying her Lord. She will be the most beautiful when she is trying to make her way to Jannah. And if you can't see the beauty in that, then your perspective of beauty is distorted. If you can't love her enough to help her attain Jannah, then perhaps you don't love her at all!
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If you can't love her in a jilbab/hijab/niqab, you can't truly love her in anything else either. She will be most beautiful to you when she is obeying her Lord. She will be the most beautiful when she is trying to make her way to Jannah. And if you can't see the beauty in that, then your perspective of beauty is distorted. If you can't love her enough to help her attain Jannah, then perhaps you don't love her at all!
That is lovely & so true.
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There’s no such thing as a perfect, ideal relationship. It’s how two people deal with the imperfections of a relationship that make it ideal
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^^True. (:
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Advice for the brothers: If you want a good wife marry someone who has been a good daughter.
Advice for the sisters: If you want a good husband marry someone who has been a good son.
How do you know? Look at how both treat their parents.
Why? A good son often becomes a good husband and a good daughter often becomes a good wife. If they know how to respect their parents they will most likely treat you with respect.
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To My Future Husband:
All I have to say is that only God knows who you are.
I’m becoming super impatient, but then I keep reminding myself that He has it all under control.
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(http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lwbbckra8b1qhlfiwo1_500.jpg)
MashaAllah, best du’a a spouse can make for his/her other half :)
“A Husband said this to his wife: ‘If Jannah was a flower, I would pick it for you. If Jannah was a bird, I would catch it for you. If Jannah was a house, I’d build it for you. But since Jannah is a place no eye has ever seen, I make dua to Allah to reserve it for you."'
My heart just melted. =')
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To My Future Husband:
All I have to say is that only God knows who you are.
I’m becoming super impatient, but then I keep reminding myself that He has it all under control.
*cough*
Girls. :P
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*cough*
Girls. :P
Ahem ...
*blush* :-[
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Ahem ...
*blush* :-[
Aww, don't be. Many people get married. ;)
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InshaAllah soon!
I can't wait either :)
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Marry, yes. But make your choices well.
If life has taught me something, it is that company draws the borderline between peace and grief, success and destruction.
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Alhamdulilah.
And Allah is the best of planners. :)
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Some people have loads of time to count.
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52 out of 53 posts in this thread has been made by girls. ::)
They think too much. We go with the flow. :P
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I didn't read a thing cuz they're too many pages (I might read the articles soon inshAllah) but What I'll say is Marriage in Islam is sure a great thing. When I read the stories and hadiths about how the Prophet (PBUH) and his wives ,I can't help telling myself that I want a man like that you know.
And when I read the stories of sahabeeat and the sahaba and all the people who lived in that Era ,I really feel like love and marriage back then was a 'real something'. When I look at married muslim couples who just look so in love it touches my heart.
But It'll happen to me when It's time so no need to think about it over and over again. We could at a time snap because of being way too impatient but everything happens according to plan so you'll have to think about other matters because There is no need for you to wait... You should know that ,that day will come when it's time inshAllah =]
Speaking of which I'm going to a wedding this Friday <3 ..been AGES since I went to such things =D
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Some people have loads of time to count.
*hehe* good one! ;D
I personally find marriage to be a blessing from God (actually everything He does for us is a blessing). :D
I just wanna meet my other half. ::) I am sorry I can't help it!
But, no worries ... it'll all be in the 'halal' way. ;D I am not desperate, in case some of you are wondering that ... ::)
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(http://islamgreatreligion.files.wordpress.com/2011/05/picture2.jpg?w=480&h=334)
Again, no ... I am not getting married. ::) Sadly. :P
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(http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lw9b1gBYCp1r568bqo1_500.jpg)
It was TOO cute to not share. :-[
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I think we are better: going with the flow. ;) Obsession may be counter-productive especially when it comes to something emotional like marriage.
Miss. Somebody on SF, that picture has probably been taken on a digital studio with models, with heavy makeup and holding hands together. ::) Things rarely work out like that in real life. :p
Fyi, I am not obsessed with marriage. ::) Just find it fascinating. :D
Nevertheless ... I find it cute, Mr. Executive. ::)
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Assalamualaikum Everyone :D
Crooked-- you're crooked and you know that, but what you DO NOT is that you're not straight and are crooked which is why you're seeking your direction from the 'flow' LOLLL :P :P Mei zinda hoon, to bring you down and stop your flow :PPP
Stylish- dude, I am sorry but they say you've blocked PMs which is why I couldn't send my reply!! AND YES, leave Romeesa ALONE :P. If you have dreams of earning billions and driving a limousine and racing with Bill Gates for the next big villa, then she can also dream about a peaceful happy-go-lucky married life. :P HEHE :D JK!!
Romeesa-- HOW ARE YOU?? ;) Its okay, mate, dream on! This is your thread with your stamp on :P
In short, GUYS I AM HYPER AND HEEEYY I AM Stupidly-Pointlessly-Annoyingly-Messaging this thread :P :P
Good to post again. :P
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^Sistaaaaaaaaa! I am fine, alhamdulillah. :D
How are you ?! ;D I am so happy for you now that you are in Oman. <3 WAllah, I feel so happy on yer behalf. :P
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CHOOSING A MUSLIM WIFE / HUSBAND
A short story by Bint Al Hudda
(http://www.zawaj.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/muslim-couple-seated-outside.jpg)
Seeing that his mother was in a good mood, Ahmad sat near her and said, 'Mother, I have an idea which should bring you much joy.” His mother answered eagerly, "My son, all that you give me makes me happy. What is on your mind?”
“You know," he told her, "I have finished my studies and can afford to begin a family. I have decided to marry."
His mother's face brightened with a smile. "This is very good news! I have long awaited such a day,” she told him. "How often I have wished you would marry one of your cousins. Praise be to Allah that you have made this decision before it is too late!." Ahmad exclaimed, "Before it's too late? What do you mean?" "Your cousin Maryam is now old enough to marry. Every day there is someone visiting her home, seeking her hand."
Ahmad sat silently for a moment and said, “Then why should we bother her suitors?"
“What do you mean, Ahmad?," asked his mother, dismayed.
"My cousin Maryam is not fit for me.”
"Why not? No, my son, you’re mistaken. I shall go and see about your engagement tomorrow," his mother told him.
Ahmad frowned and said, “No, mother. Please do not do such a thing. I will not agree to this.” "When she becomes your fiancé, you will feel love for her. Put aside your fears. Maryam is beautiful, and she has a respectable job."
Ahmad disagreed, “No. This matter only concerns me."
Ahmad's mother thought for a moment and said, “If you dislike Maryam, then there's my brother's daughter. She is as beautiful as Maryam, and she has inherited a large sum of money from my brother.
"Mother, please think about this matter from my point of view. I need someone to share my life, not a business partner.”
His mother became angry and sharply asked, “What's wrong with my niece? Why isn't she good enough to be your wife?”
Ahmad replied, “She is not a practicing Muslim. I want a Muslim wife."
Ahmad's mother laughed sarcastically and said, "You speak as if you were an angel who could only marry another angel. Why don't you stop saying such nonsense, my son? You are an educated young man, you should give up your impossible ideals.”
“I am neither an angel, nor do I seek a saint for a wife. I am a Muslim believer looking for a girl who also believes in Islam." replied Ahmad.
Ahmad's mother told him, “I don't know any girls who share your ideals."
He said, “I know someone who measures up to my expectations."
Startled by this admission, Ahmad's mother asked, “You know someone? Who is she? Since when do you begin friendship with girls?"
Ahmad answered quickly, “I didn't mean that I know a girl personally, but I know of her." "I see," she said. "You have already chosen your wife. Who is this lucky girl?" “Mother, please be more understanding. I hope you will take my side and persuade father to agree with my choice."
This appeal to Ahmad's mother softened her, and she said, “I swear that I think only of your welfare. I'll help you. Tell me, what are this girl’s qualifications?"
Ahmad told her, “Nothing matters except the religious aspect. She is Muslim, and wears complete hijab.” "Oh, then she is uneducated!" "No, she has a high school education and her religious knowledge is extensive."
Then his mother asked, “What family is she from? Do I know them?"
"She is from a good family known for their piety", Ahmad told her. "Of what use is a well-known family if a girl has no Islamic morals?" He silently beseeched Allah to give him the patience to overcome his mother's resistance. "A happy marriage doesn't depend on fame or wealth. Happiness stems from spiritual nearness and mutual understanding." Then, in a different tone of voice his mother asked,
"What does her father do for a living?" "He is a grocer," Ahmad replied.
"A grocer?!", she exclaimed. “Yes. He is a grocer and a very righteous man. He is the head of a happy and virtuous family."
Ahmad's mother interrupted him, “You are the son of a wealthy man; with your college degree you wish to marry a grocer's daughter? What a shame! Yet you ask me to assist you! If I had chosen the daughter of a jeweler, how would you feel?"
His mother replied, "There is a big difference between a jeweler and a grocer.”
“The only difference is with regard to the substance. The former sells rings and the latter sells sugar. Both work in order to earn money," Ahmad answered.
His mother lamented, "Imagine your father's reaction to this news! "
Ahmad said firmly, " This is my desire, either you help me or I'll do it myself."
He spoke so seriously that his mother laughed mockingly, saying, "Does the matter require a great effort? The least move you make, they will give their daughter to you gladly."
Ahmad shook his head in doubt and said, "Wait and see!"
“What an odd situation this is! Am I to present my son to a grocer's daughter? What special beauty does this girl possess to make you blind to every other consideration?'
“I have not yet seen her," Ahmad said.
"Then how do you know she's not ugly?" asked his mother.
"I know she is not. As far as good conduct is concerned, physical beauty is of little importance."
"Oh Ahmad, my amazement never ceases."
The next morning, Ahmad told his father of his intentions. His father became angry, but Ahmad remained determined to marry the woman of his choice. Finally his father agreed and Ahmad asked his mother to visit the girl's home to make the proposal and overcome any obstacles.
The following afternoon Ahmad's mother, accompanied by his oldest sister, went to the girl's house. On the way there, Ahmad's sister asked her mother what the girl's name was. Her mother replied, " I forgot to ask him! "When they knocked on the family's door, they were surprised to see a beautiful young girl open it. The girl was surprised to see the two unfamiliar women, but she showed them into the living room and went to tell her mother that they had visitors. Her mother welcomed the guests and waited for them to explain the reason for their visit. After exchanging greetings, Ahmad's mother asked who the young girl was who had opened the door. “It was my daughter, Zaynab," she replied. "Do you have any other daughter?" asked Ahmad's mother. “No, she's my only daughter", replied her mother. Ahmad's mother and sister were delighted to learn that the beautiful girl was Zaynab. Just then, Zaynab entered with coffee for their visitors. She sat next to Ahmad's sister and they soon found much to discuss. Then she collected the empty coffee cups and left the room.
Ahmad's mother began, "We have come with a blessed aim. We would be happy to have your daughter Zaynab as a wife for my son." She praised her son for his intelligence, his good looks and his wealth, but she neglected to mention his firm Islamic beliefs, which was very important to Zaynab's mother. Therefore, Ahmad's mother was stunned when Zaynab's mother shook her head slowly and said, “I'm very sorry. It is difficult for me to agree to this proposal; in fact, it's impossible." With much surprise, Ahmad's mother asked, “What is impossible?"
“My daughter is still young. I'm sure your son can find a girl who suits him." Ahmad's mother protested, "But Zaynab suits him well! Would you be kind enough to justify your refusal?"
“I only have one daughter, and I should be sure of her future married life."
“But Ahmad is well-off financially," said his mother. “He is an engineer!"
Zaynab's mother replied, “Zaynab would not marry someone because he is wealthy or has a college degree."
Ahmad's mother was at a loss for words. “Then what will ensure your daughter's happiness and consent?"
“When a mother looks for a wife for her son, she should mention her son's conduct.” said the mother of Zaynab. "My daughter is a committed Muslim. She wants a Muslim husband, and remember, my daughter wears hijab, and your son may want a modern wife, who dresses like his mother and sister.”
Ahmad's mother laughed with relief and told her, “You're correct. I haven't mentioned his conduct. I thought that other aspects of his character were of more importance. My son is a faithful Muslim. He is, in fact, looking for a wife who observes hijab. Be sure that my appearance (un-Islamic clothing) is not to Ahmad's taste."
Zaynab's mother also smiled and said, "You should have told me earlier! Please give us your address so we can visit you and learn more about your son."
"We hope you can come early next week," said Ahmad's mother.
Ahmad was waiting anxiously for his mother's return. As soon as she and her daughter returned home he asked, “Well, mother? How was your visit?"
"It was very strange," she replied.
“What was strange?", he asked. “Has anything bad happened?"
"Oh no, Ahmad. But I never expected such a thing," she answered. "Then they have refused?" Ahmad's father said, "How could a grocer's daughter refuse a wealthy young man?"
Ahmad's mother turned to her husband and said, " They did, in fact, refuse..."
"What! they refused?” asked the father. "I spoke about Ahmad's good qualities, but I didn't mention his Islamic morals. My appearance also caused her to decline my proposal because her daughter is a very faithful Muslim. When I realized their objections, I told them that you are a true Muslim as well. I have come to respect them very much. They don't care about status or wealth.”
“Have you seen the girl?”, asked Ahmad's father.
"Yes, she is lovely and polite. Ahmad is a lucky man to have made such a choice."
The following week, Zaynab's family paid a visit to Ahmad’s home and plans were made for the upcoming wedding. They were soon married and there was much rejoicing.
~ source (http://www.duas.org/Matrimony/choosing_a_muslim_wife_husband.htm)
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What's wrong with wanting to get married ::)
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Seriously, if you gals are so desperate to get married, don't even think about the guys....
Why ? :S
Plus, this is not desperation. ;)
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Don't have enough time to disseminate or argue... nor to read that story above... will do all that later on.... iA..
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Don't have enough time to disseminate or argue... nor to read that story above... will do all that later on.... iA..
Ahem, okay. ::)
I don't have a word to exactly describe as to how I feel regarding marriage. It's something I am very much fond of but not to such an extent of desperation (as many over here has assumed that about me :P ) ::) I'll wait for Mr.Righteous to come along as long as Allah tests my patience and InshaAllah khair, whatever is for the best of us. :D
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Sub7anallah. There seems to be lots of 'negativity' towards marriage. Just to let you know, getting married is half your Deen.
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getting married is half your Deen.
Seconded. (Y)
I am not alone. :D
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I wanna get married so that my wifey wakes me up fer fajr. ::)
I wanna get married because it's Sunnah. :D
I wanna get married because i wanna complete half my deen.
I wanna get married because i want adorable babies who i can teach Islam. :o OMG. Imagine, teaching our kids AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. :D I am going crazy. :D :D
I wanna get married because..
I think i should stop. :P
And it's better to get married and get all lovey dovey than doing it the 7araam way. :P
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And it's better to get married and get all lovey dovey than doing it the 7araam way. :P
You said the exact thing that was running in my mind.
At least the girls here are waiting, albeit impatiently, for the one who will hold their hands for life, and not shamelessly trading themselves with any Tom, Di.ck and Harry they meet on the streets-- something that many teenage girls of 13/ 14 cannot apparently resist doing.
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Romeesa--- I SO agree with you now, Crooked really is the FMND (faltoo-man-next-door ) :P :P
His wife is probably going to have to beat him up wake him up ;D...Poor her! :P
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You said the exact thing that was running in my mind.
At least the girls here are waiting, albeit impatiently, for the one who will hold their hands for life, and not shamelessly trading themselves with any Tom, Di.ck and Harry they meet on the streets-- something that many teenage girls of 13/ 14 cannot apparently resist doing.
Oh yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. :P
LOOOOL, M-H. Why yuh always hating on me, man ? :P Am i not the cutest person yuh've ever come across ? Yes, be jealous and don't forget to add MashAllah. :P
I don't mind those beatings. :( :P
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I wanna get married so that my wifey wakes me up fer fajr. ::)
I wanna get married because it's Sunnah. :D
I wanna get married because i wanna complete half my deen.
I wanna get married because i want adorable babies who i can teach Islam. :o OMG. Imagine, teaching our kids AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. :D I am going crazy. :D :D
I wanna get married because..
I think i should stop. :P
And it's better to get married and get all lovey dovey than doing it the 7araam way. :P
Aw, that's such a cute post. MashaAllah. :D
And it's better to get married and get all lovey dovey than doing it the 7araam way. :P
Exactly. (Y)
Romeesa--- I SO agree with you now, Crooked really is the FMND (faltoo-man-next-door ) :P :P
His wife is probably going to have to beat him up wake him up ;D...Poor her! :P
Hi-5! ;D
Hahaha :D Poor her. :P
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MARRIAGE is the rainbow between two hearts sharing seven colors: feelings, love, sadness, happiness, truth, faith, secret and respect. :)
and working towards jannah.
(http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lwozkhYIbP1r8ww38o1_400.jpg)
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“You see, Islam is the only religion that gives both husband and wife a true understanding of what love is. The Western “love” concept, you take it apart, it really is lust. But love transcends just the physical. Love is disposition, behaviour, attitude, thoughts, likes, dislikes - these things make a beautiful woman, a beautiful wife. This is the beauty that never fades. You find in your Western civilisation that when a man’s wife’s physical beauty fails, she loses her attraction. But Islam teaches us to look into the woman, and teaches her to look into us.”
— Malcolm X (The Autobiography of Malcolm X)
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Don't you think marriage complicates life? earlier you just had yourself to take care of apart from your parents. Now you'll have a complicated woman to take care of together with stubborn kids...
Hmmmm ... I'll answer that AFTER I get married. :P But honestly, when I think of it ... nope.
If your married to the 'right' one - the one Allah has created for you already as your soul mate ... how can it be complicated ?
I look and think of it more as a blessing from Allah. :D
Complicated woman and stubborn kids ? That's a little too harsh. ::)
Every relationship has it's ups and downs. It all depends on the individual to tackle and resolve the matter. :D
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Why do most men consider themselves as 'victims' of marriage?
You will have a woman to take care of you as much as (if not more) you take care of her. If she's righteous (here comes your choice of wife) she'll be with you to ease your hardships not complicate your life, many things will be easy.. you wont have to cook on your own, or wash your clothes, she'll help take care of your parents and work outside to handle the matter of finance if need be and much more.
God wouldn't assign marriage as a completion of half of our Deen, if it was to keep the guy in pain, would he? Everything has a good and a bad side, so accept what is good and tolerate the 'bad' and change it to the best of your ability. And children are a blessing, they will carry forward your teachings and beliefs.
P.S - In this thread, there are more posts of girls then boys - because there are more girls than boys in the whole forum. Plus, the boys are either busy or 'young' to delve in these matters ::)
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Why do most men consider themselves as 'victims' of marriage?
You will have a woman to take care of you as much as (if not more) you take care of her. If she's righteous (here comes your choice of wife) she'll be with you to ease your hardships not complicate your life, many things will be easy.. you wont have to cook on your own, or wash your clothes, she'll help take care of your parents. Work outside to handle the matter of finance if need be and much more.
God wouldn't assign marriage as a completion of half of our Deen, if it was to keep the guy in pain, would he? Everything has a good and a bad side, accept what is good and tolerate the 'bad' and change it to the best of their ability. And children are a blessing, they will carry forward your teachings and beliefs.
P.S - In this thread, there are more posts of girls then boys - because there are more girls than boys in the whole forum. Plus, the boys are either busy or 'young' to delve in these matters ::)
Seconded. 8)
I love you, Amelia. ;D
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There is a right way and a wrong way to get to know someone for marriage. The wrong way is to get caught up in the excitement and nuance of a budding relationship and in the process completely forget to ask the critical questions that help determine compatibility. One of the biggest mistakes that many young Muslims make is rushing into marriage without properly and thoroughly getting to know someone. A common myth is that the duration of a courtship is an accurate enough measure of how compatible two people are. The logic follows that the longer you speak with someone, the better you will know them. The problem with that premise is that no consideration is given to how that time is spent. Increasingly, young Muslim couples are engaging in “halal dating,” which is basically socializing with each other in the company of friends and/or family. This includes going out to dinner, watching a movie, playing some sport or other leisure activity, etc. Depending on the family or culture, conversations are either minimal & chaperoned or worse, unrestricted and unsupervised. When you consider these limitations it makes one wonder when exactly, if ever at all, would the critical conversations take place? Unfortunately, for many, the answer is never and they live to suffer the consequences. If you or someone you know is in the “getting to know someone” phase, the following guide offers advice on exactly what to look for and avoid:
1) Do Not Marry Potential: Oftentimes men consider marrying a woman hoping she never changes while a woman considers marrying a man she hopes she can change. This is the wrong approach on both accounts. Don’t assume that you can change a person after you’re married to them or that they will reach their potential. There is no guarantee, after all, that those changes will be for the better. In fact, it’s often for the worse. If you can’t accept someone or imagine living with them as they are then don’t marry them. These differences can include a number of things such as ideological or practical differences in religion, habits, hygiene, communication skills, etc.
2) Choose Character over Chemistry: While chemistry and attraction are no doubt important, character precedes them both. A famous quote follows, “Chemistry ignites the fire, but character keeps it burning.” The idea of falling “in love” should never be the sole reason for marrying someone; it is very easy to confuse infatuation and lust for love. The most important character traits to look for include humility, kindness, responsibility, & happiness. Here’s a breakdown of each trait:
Humility: The humble person never makes demands of people but rather always does right by them. They put their values and principles above convenience and comfort. They are slow to anger, are modest, and avoid materialism.
Kindness: The kind person is the quintessential giver. They seek to please and minimize the pain of others. To know if a person is a giver, observe how they treat their family, siblings, and parents. Do they have gratitude towards their parents for all that they’ve done for them? If not, then know that they will never appreciate what you do for them. How do they treat people they don’t have to be kind towards (i.e. waiters, sales associates, employees, etc)? How do they spend their money? How do they deal with anger; their own anger and their reaction to someone else’s anger?
Responsibility: A responsible person has stability in their finances, relationships, job, and character. You can you rely on this person and trust what they say.
Happiness: A happy person is content with their portion in life. They feel good about themselves and good about their life. They focus on what they have rather than on what they don’t have. They very rarely complain.
3) Do Not Neglect The Emotional Needs of Your Partner: Both men and women have emotional needs and in order for a partnership to be successful those needs must be mutually met. The fundamental emotional need of a woman is to be loved. The fundamental emotional need of a man is to be respected and appreciated. To make a woman feel loved give her the three AAAs: Attention, Affection, & Appreciation. To make a man feel loved give him the three RRRs: Respect, Reassurance, & Relief. It is the obligation of each partner to make sure the other is happy and this extends to intimacy as well. As long as each partner is fulfilled by the emotional needs of the other, the intimate relationship will thrive. When a man takes seriously the emotional needs of his wife she will feel more encouraged to fulfill his sexual desires. Likewise, when a woman takes seriously the emotional needs of her husband he will feel more encouraged to give her the affection, love and appreciation she wants from him. Working together in this way encourages both giving and receiving.
4) Avoid Opposing Life Plans: In marriage you can either grow together or grow apart. Sharing a common purpose in life will increase the chance that you will grow together.
You must know what the person is into. In other words, what are they ultimately passionate about? Then ask yourself, “Do I respect this passion?” “Do I respect what they are into?”
The more specifically you define yourself, i.e., your values, your beliefs, your lifestyle, the better chance you have of finding your life partner, your soul mate, the one you are most compatible with.
Remember, before you decide who to take along on a trip, you should first figure out your destination.
5) Avoid Pre-Marital Sexual/Physical Activity:
Recognize that there is incredible wisdom in why God has ordered us to refrain from intimacy before marriage; they are to prevent great harms as well as to keep sacred what is the most blessed part of a relationship between a man and a woman.
Aside from the obvious spiritual consequences, when a relationship gets physical before its time, important issues like character, life philosophy, and compatibility go to the wayside. Consequently, everything is romanticized and it becomes difficult to even remember the important issues let alone talk about them.
Intellectual commitment must be established before emotional or sexual commitment.
6) Avoid Lack of Emotional Connection: There are four questions that you must answer YES to:
Do I respect and admire this person? What specifically do I respect and admire about this person?
Do I trust this person? Can I rely on them? Do I trust their judgment? Do I trust their word? Can I believe what they say?
Do I feel Safe? Do I feel emotionally safe with this person? Can I be vulnerable? Can I be myself? Can I be open? Can I express myself?
Do I feel calm and at peace with this person?
If the answer is “I don’t know, I’m not sure, etc.” keep evaluating until you know for sure and truly understand how you feel. If you don’t feel safe now, you won’t feel safe when you are married. If you don’t trust now, this won’t change when you are married!
7) Pay Attention to Your Own Emotional Anxiety: Choosing someone you don’t feel safe with emotionally is not a good recipe for a long-lasting and loving marriage. Feeling emotionally safe is the foundation of a strong and healthy marriage. When you don’t feel safe, you can’t express your feelings and opinions. Learn how to identify whether you are in an abusive relationship. If you feel you always have to monitor what you say, if you are with someone and you feel you can’t really express yourself and are always walking on eggshells, then it’s very likely you are in an abusive relationship. Look for the following things:
Controlling behavior: This includes controlling the way you act, the way you think, the way you dress, the way you wear your hair/hijab and the way you spend your time. Know the difference between suggestions and demands. Demands are an expression of control and if the demands are implied, than you must do it or there will be consequences. All of these are clear indications of abusive personalities.
Anger issues: This is someone who raises their voice on a regular basis, who is angry, gets angry at you, uses anger against you, uses put downs, and curses at you, etc. You don’t have to put up with this type of treatment. Many people who tolerate this behavior usually come from abusive backgrounds. If this is the case with you or someone you know, get help right away. Deal with those issues before getting married or before even thinking about getting married.
Beware of Lack of Openness In Your Partner: Many couples make the mistake of not putting everything on the table for discussion from the onset. Ask yourself, “What do I need to know to be absolutely certain I want to marry this person?” “What bothers me about this person or the relationship?” It’s very important to identify what’s bothering you, things that concern you, and things you are afraid to bring up for discussion. Then you must have an honest discussion about them. This is a great way to test the strength of your relationship. Bringing up issues when there’s conflict is a great opportunity to really evaluate how well you communicate, negotiate, and work together as a team. When people get into power struggles and blame each other, it’s an indication they don’t work well as a team. Also important is being vulnerable around each other. Ask deep questions of each other and see how your partner responds. How do they handle it? Are they defensive? Do they attack? Do they withdraw? Do they get annoyed? Do they blame you? Do they ignore it? Do they hide or rationalize it? Don’t just listen to what they say but watch for how they say it!
8 ) Beware of Avoiding Personal Responsibility: It’s very important to remember no one else is responsible for your happiness. Many people make the mistake of thinking someone else will fulfill them and make their life better and that’s their reason for getting married. People fail to realize that if they are unhappy as a single person, they will continue to be miserable when they are married. If you are currently not happy with yourself, don’t like yourself, don’t like the direction your life is going now, it’s important to take responsibility for that now and work on improving those areas of your life before considering marriage. Don’t bring these issues into your marriage and hope your partner will fix them.
9) Watch Out For Lack of Emotional Health and Availability In Your Potential Partner: Many people choose partners that are not emotionally healthy or available. One huge problem is when a partner is unable to balance the emotional ties to family members, the marriage ends up having 3 (or more) people in it rather than two. An example of this would be if a man is overly dependent on his mother and brings that relationship into the marriage; this is no doubt a recipe for disaster. Also important to consider are the following:
Avoid people who are emotionally empty inside. These include people who don’t like themselves because they lack the ability to be emotionally available. They are always preoccupied with their deficiencies, insecurities, and negative thoughts. They are in a perpetual fight with depression, never feel good, are isolated, are critical and judgmental; tend to not have any close friends, and often distrust people or are afraid of them. Another clear indication about them is they always feel their needs are not getting met; they have a sense of entitlement and feel angry when they feel people should take care of them and they don’t. They feel burdened by other people’s needs and feel resentment towards them. These people can not be emotionally available to build healthy relationships.
Addictions can also limit the level of availability of the partner to build a strong emotional relationship. Never marry an addict. Addictions are not limited to drugs and alcohol. They can be about addictions and dependency on work, internet, hobbies, sports, shopping, money, power, status, materialism, etc. When someone has an addiction, they will not and can not be emotionally available to develop an intimate relationship with you!
Additional Points to Consider:
The fact is no one looks 25 forever. Ultimately, we love the person we marry for more than their appearance. When we get to know someone we love and admire, we’ll love them for their inner beauty and overall essence.
Once we find someone, we consciously or subconsciously want so badly for it all to work that we decide not to question or see what is clearly in front of our eyes: they were rude to the waiter, speaks ill of others, is rude to you, etc. We don’t stop to ask, “What does all of this mean about their character?”
Never separate someone from their family, background, education, belief system, etc. Asking clear questions can clarify this. Ask questions like, “What does it mean to have a simple lifestyle?” “What are your expectations of marriage?” “How would you help around the house?” Compare your definition with theirs.
Be flexible. Be open-minded!
Giving in a happy marriage should not be confused with martyrdom. It should be about taking pleasure and seeing the other person as happy because of your connection with them.
Morality and spirituality are the qualities that truly define someone in addition to beauty, money, and health. The morally upright and spiritual person will stand by your side during adversity and hardship. If someone isn’t God-conscience and doesn’t take themselves into account with God then why should you expect them to fulfill their rights owed to you? The ideal partner is someone who considers giving a gain and not causing a loss. Having a mutual and shared spiritual relationship will foster a successful marriage. Furthermore, a successful marriage is one that keeps the laws of family purity which require a certain degree of self-control and self-discipline, as well as the belief that the physical side of the relationship includes the spiritual and emotional side as well. Finding commonality and balance between the spiritual and emotional aspects of a relationship is a strong key to a healthy and thriving marriage.
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by Dr. Nafisa Sekandari & Hosai Mojaddidi
The above article was [in part] inspired by and adapted from a presentation by Rabbi Dov Heller, M.A.
http://www.aimislam.com/10-ways-to-avoid-marrying-the-wrong-person/
Originally posted by brother LionHeart from http://www.wup-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=35&t=22836&p=260335#p260335
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And ... of course, doing Istikhara is very important. :)
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Oh yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. :P
LOOOOL, M-H. Why yuh always hating on me, man ? :P Am i not the cutest person yuh've ever come across ? Yes, be jealous and don't forget to add MashAllah. :P
I don't mind those beatings. :( :P
OH MYYYYYYYY DAYS, the Oxford English Dictionary people are gonna report the post above for humiliating and meddling with the word 'cute'. :P :P :P
Now that you've seriously, recklessly and inhumanly ruined the word 'cute', even my li'l bro who gets that title every so often is gonna have to go wear a 'niqaab' out of shame. :P :P
HAHA, what? You still want more? "You want some, COME, GET some"--JC jokes :P
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Oh my, Romy, that post of yours got the term-'hala' dating. Man I swear, look at the ways people are trying to make things which are 7aram, halal. I just got one thing to say, DATING IS HARAM. Every way, every means. HARAM, HARAM!!! There can be nothing halal it. Romy, I got nothing against the article of yours, in fact I haven't even read it :D. Just that, that very term really got to me and I thought its very important to stress on the importance of acknowledging what is halal and haram. These two things just cannot be mixed, ever.
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Oh my, Romy, that post of yours got the term-'hala' dating. Man I swear, look at the ways people are trying to make things which are 7aram, halal. I just got one thing to say, DATING IS HARAM. Every way, every means. HARAM, HARAM!!! There can be nothing halal it. Romy, I got nothing against the article of yours, in fact I haven't even read it :D. Just that, that very term really got to me and I thought its very important to stress on the importance of acknowledging what is halal and haram. These two things just cannot be mixed, ever.
That is after consenting to the marriage from both sides. Speaking and meeting in the presence of family members - to get to know each other better!
I don't see the harm in it. :-\
For example, if my Istikhara says yes to the marriage proposal and I am assured that I'll be marrying the man of my dreams (my soul mate) - all I will be doing is getting to his personality better.
Also, this is a cultural extension - depending on different families that allows or prohibits any sort of communication until the marriage day.
How do you know person X is the right one? This question gives rise to a classification of marriage: Arranged marriage where your parents/guardian choses the partner or Love marriage where you yourself chose your partner.
Of course, the normal leaning of unmarried people is towards love marriage because they arguably 'know' their partner better than latter, but statistics (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VUvrCaesLDs) show arranged marriages tend to work out much much better with divorce rates much much lower.
So, why complicate your life with love before marrying? Looks like all this hype about "choosing partner" , "soulmate" and "made for each other" is just created so as to enable lovers to raid their partner's moneybag in valentine's day and other such things. ::)
Salatal Istikhara ;)
And, also I believe in love after marriage ;)
Also, I wanna make it clear that ... I know very well as to what Islam allows and prohibits - I am not going to go against that teaching, like you mentioned ... searching for my love before marriage. ::)
As far as the making a hole husband's pocket on valentine's day ... even a 1$ gift or nothing but a "I love you" can make a lot of difference and has it's own speciality. ::)
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OH MYYYYYYYY DAYS, the Oxford English Dictionary people are gonna report the post above for humiliating and meddling with the word 'cute'. :P :P :P
Now that you've seriously, recklessly and inhumanly ruined the word 'cute', even my li'l bro who gets that title every so often is gonna have to go wear a 'niqaab' out of shame. :P :P
HAHA, what? You still want more? "You want some, COME, GET some"--JC jokes :P
:(
:( :( :(
:( :( :( :( :(
And even if the marriage is arranged, the girl/guy have all the rights to reject the to-be spouse. :o
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And even if the marriage is arranged, the girl/guy have all the rights to reject the to-be spouse. :o
Of course. ::)
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My parents got married that way. Their marriage has been successful, the walking-kicking proof of that is ME :P :P
There is nothing like love marriage vs arranged marriage, all what matters is how much 'love' remains after the wedlock. :P
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My parents got married that way. Their marriage has been successful, the walking-kicking proof of that is ME :P :P
There is nothing like love marriage vs arranged marriage, all what matters is how much 'love' remains after the wedlock. :P
See ? Such a great outcome :P
Of course. :D
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Hehe. Its your thread, so with your permission, lets spam the thread. Kaisi ho? Romy-jaan :)
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Hehe. Its your thread, so with your permission, lets spam the thread. Kaisi ho? Romy-jaan :)
LOL :P But, it's not my forum ... we'll both be kicked out. ::) :P
I am great, alhamdulillah. :D
I have a Biochemistry test tomorrow and I am SFing ::)
How are you, sis ? :D :D :D When you starting MBBS ? :D ;D
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Nah. YOU AND ME? ::) Okay, even if I'm chucked out NO BIGGIE cos that's happen soon, only the difference being I'll do it to myself. :P As for you, you're the apple of their eyes. :P So we're 'playing' safe?! :P :D
Not yet, mate. InshaAllah, in Jan. Man, I am going to go BD without my parents. First experience of an air journey, all alone. :'(
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Nah. YOU AND ME? ::) Okay, even if I'm chucked out NO BIGGIE cos that's happen soon, only the difference being I'll do it to myself. :P As for you, you're the apple of their eyes. :P So we're 'playing' safe?! :P :D
Not yet, mate. InshaAllah, in Jan. Man, I am going to go BD without my parents. First experience of an air journey, all alone. :'(
No no no! You ain't going anywhere. >:( And, your the noor of their eyes. :P
InshaAllah :D
Awww ... InshaAllah, it'll be alright :) Have faith, sis. <3 Be strong and stay focused! :D
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Don't worry, I'll still love you and we can remain in touch. :P We'll see about that later.
Thanks for your wishes.. Oh By the way, you had some issues worrying you, is everything alright now? Sorry, if I'm holding you up..just wanna be sure you're okay and fine now :). You can leave, cos I need to leave too. LOL I am so selfish :D :D Haha, jk. By the way, you know when I left school, a couple of good teachers left as well and I went like- "Good things are taking good things away" :P...
ALL THE BEST FOR your test. Ace it. :D
Have a good night, Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh. ;)
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Don't worry, I'll still love you and we can remain in touch. :P We'll see about that later.
Thanks for your wishes.. Oh By the way, you had some issues worrying you, is everything alright now? Sorry, if I'm holding you up..just wanna be sure you're okay and fine now :). You can leave, cos I need to leave too. LOL I am so selfish :D :D Haha, jk. By the way, you know when I left school, a couple of good teachers left as well and I went like- "Good things are taking good things away" :P...
ALL THE BEST FOR your test. Ace it. :D
Have a good night, Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh. ;)
InshaAllah :D
Alright. Kind of :P it's something that'll always remain and I have to live on with it.
But, I have Allah with me - that's all that matters. :D
I'll be hanging out here for a while ... :P
That's nice, MashaAllah :D When I joined sixth form, all the good teachers left ... I felt like I was manhoos/bad luck. :-[ :P
InshaAllah, will try to. :D
Have a great night. Take care and keep smiling. :D
Masalama <3 :D
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Only in movies. ::)
Not really... happens in real life too. You'll know it once you marry and 'fall in love' ::)
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Okay here are SOME Facts I noticed whenever I go to a Wedding (Not that I go much to these places or anything ::) ) :P
1. When the Bride and Groom are giving each other a Bite (whatever u call it lol ) from the DELICIOUS cake ... Look at the face expression made by ALL The ladies in the Hall ...The go like "AWWWW" and this really cute smile overflows their faces 8) ..ALL ladies do that ,seriously!! even me when I was 13 I used to do that ::) :-[ :P
2. If a lady is spacing out in a wedding ( happens a lot :P ) , then it's gotta be that she's thinking of her awaited-Prince Charming's rescue xD .. SO True ! ::) don't deny it LADIES :P
3. When the Bride comes in (Alone ) girls usually think OMG she's probably thinking "I'm lieaving MOM and DAD to live with this stranger" which is why they usually look so tensed or they literally cry .. haram :-\ ..I bet I'll be crying my eyes out on that day LMAO XD
4. Ahem ahem ..when they are sitting on the chair ..holding hands ..the guy whispering in her ears ... and her blushing and her face turns red just like a tomato ...Girls go "AWWW" once again ..but what I do is I start thinking of what exactly he's sayin ::) ...I recall all the romantic sentences I ever came across when reading classics or Movies xD
'sigh' That's more than enough for today ladies and gentlemen :P ... Baraka Allah in the marriage to whom ever I attended their weddings :) :P
It was mostly based on me though :P ..Ladies who agree please raise your hand 8)
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And one unfair thing is that ladies can see the Groom but gents cant see the Bride. She doesnt visit the gents section :P *Joking* =))
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And one unfair thing is that ladies can see the Bride but males cant see the Groom. She doesnt visit the males section :P *Joking* =))
Yuh mean the ladies can see the groom and the gents can't see the bride ? :P
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Yuh mean the ladies can see the groom and the gents can't see the bride ? :P
Lol yah. My mistake ;D
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Not really... happens in real life too. You'll know it once you marry and 'fall in love' ::)
Seconded. ;D
MU- Bad boy. ::) :P
GG- I love those 'sights' too. :P
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MQ : That's because the Groom on that day is standing in front of the MOST Beautiful Woman in the whole world! .. He'd surely get Jealous if 'other' men got to see his girl ::) :P
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MQ : That's because the Groom on that day is standing in front of the MOST Beautiful Woman in the whole world! .. He'd surely get Jealous if 'other' men got to see his girl ::) :P
Of course. We are saved to see only for ONE lucky man. ;D
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OMG That's exactly what I was thinking of right now LOL *HI-5* =D
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OMG That's exactly what I was thinking of right now LOL *HI-5* =D
Hi-5 8)
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“Your love will be proven when you enter Paradise together.”
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You know, to be very very honest, I FIND THOSE SIGHTS LAAMMEE!! And I love avoiding weddings, I hate the fuss. AND THE CRYING PART...I mean, yeah, if you want to cry then why are you getting married? :P I hate mixed weddings cos they've got no real meaning, usually its a day when most of the brides throw all the make up all over their bodies and carry around 'heavy duty' gold and 'lehenga' :P :P..crap!! Oh, how can I miss that out..its also a day for which most people go to the extent of planning a special shopping spree, when its not even their wedding, so that they can merely show-off. The world's going to the dogs, I tell you. ::)
Oh yeah, I HATE sarees!
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You know, to be very very honest, I FIND THOSE SIGHTS LAAMMEE!! And I love avoiding weddings, I hate the fuss. AND THE CRYING PART...I mean, yeah, if you want to cry then why are you getting married? :P I hate mixed weddings cos they've got no real meaning, usually its a day when most of the brides throw all the make up all over their bodies and carry around 'heavy duty' gold and 'lehenga' :P :P..crap!! Oh, how can I miss that out..its also a day for which most people go to the extent of planning a special shopping spree, when its not even their wedding, so that they can merely show-off. The world's going to the dogs, I tell you. ::)
Oh yeah, I HATE sarees!
LOL, your funny, woman. :P :P
Afghan weddings are separate completely. Thank God. :D
I like having those small simple weddings :D Elegant and pretty :D
Also, in our tradition ... the bride wears the white gown ;D
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True, bud. I love simplicity. Man, you should see the weddings back home in BD. Ya Allah. Astaghfirulloh. I attended one this time and it wasn't a close relatives...after that I made a resolution to never attend one ever again. :D
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True, bud. I love simplicity. Man, you should see the weddings back home in BD. Ya Allah. Astaghfirulloh. I attended one this time and it wasn't a close relatives...after that I made a resolution to never attend one ever again. :D
We have some liberal Afghans and their function is mixed ::) but us, NEVER. :D It's fun and all ... plus, gives me an excuse to see my cousins. :P
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You know the funniest part...I've never attended a separated wedding ever in my life. I mean I attended just 3 weddings, till date. My brother, on the other hand, who is in London, attended his friend's wedding (bride and groom both Bangladeshis) and that was a separated wedding. Think about that. :P
I can already imagine how much of fun it is when it is all separated. You can be free and easy. :) Nice at least one of us has got the experience of that. :P
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You know the funniest part...I've never attended a separated wedding ever in my life. I mean I attended just 3 weddings, till date. My brother, on the other hand, who is in London, attended his friend's wedding (bride and groom both Bangladeshis) and that was a separated wedding. Think about that. :P
I can already imagine how much of fun it is when it is all separated. You can be free and easy. :) Nice at least one of us has got the experience of that. :P
LOL. :P And that to in London ? Cool. :P
That's how it is ... in our culture. At the end of the function, the girl and guys's close male family members come and the women are warned before hand ... so we can cover and stuff. :D
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10 ten topics you should discuss with your potential spouse before you get married. Keep in mind that you are looking for compatibility and not a direct replica of yourself (Seriously, what fun would that be? :P). 1- Religion, 2- Finances, 3- Family, 4- Education, 5- Kids, 6- Employment, 7- The future, 8- The past, 9- Habits and hobbies, 10- Health
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http://muslimvillage.com/2011/10/27/15806/10-ways-to-avoid-marrying-the-wrong-person/
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http://muslimvillage.com/2011/10/27/15806/10-ways-to-avoid-marrying-the-wrong-person/
Posted by me. ;D :P
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“Dear Future Husband,
I don’t want to be your girlfriend. I just want to be the one you call your wife. Your presence will give me happiness. You’ll be my halal prince charming. Riding your horse of Taqwa. Holding onto the Quran in your right hand and the Sunnah in your left. I hear you’re worth the wait, so I’ll wait Insha’Allah. My heart belongs to no one, I just thought I should let you know. It belongs to Allah & only Him. You’ll have to get lost in Him to find me & even then you’ll still have to rightfully become apart of my heart. Only through Him. What I’m trying to say is that WE have to get lost in Him to find each other. I hope you’re up for the journey. I know I am <3
I love you =’)”
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“Dear Future Husband,
I don’t want to be your girlfriend. I just want to be the one you call your wife. Your presence will give me happiness. You’ll be my halal prince charming. Riding your horse of Taqwa. Holding onto the Quran in your right hand and the Sunnah in your left. I hear you’re worth the wait, so I’ll wait Insha’Allah. My heart belongs to no one, I just thought I should let you know. It belongs to Allah & only Him. You’ll have to get lost in Him to find me & even then you’ll still have to rightfully become apart of my heart. Only through Him. What I’m trying to say is that WE have to get lost in Him to find each other. I hope you’re up for the journey. I know I am <3
I love you =’)”
Aww. :P
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A perfect woman's du'a for her future hubby
O Allah ! Please grant me the one..
Who will be the garment for my soul..
Who will satisfy half of my deen..
And in doing so make me whole..
Make him righteous and on your path..
In all he'll do and say..
And sprinkle water on me at tahajjud..
Reminding me to pray..
May he earn from halal sources..
And spend within his means..
May he seek Your guidance always..
To fulfill all his dreams..
May he always refer to Qur'an..
and the Sunnah as his moral guide..
May he thank and appreciate You..
For the woman at his side..
May he be conscious of his anger..
And often fast and pray..
Be charitable and sensitive..
In every possible way..
May he honor and protect me..
And guide me in this life..
And please You!
Make me worthy..
to be his loving wife..
And finally, O Allah !
Make him abundant in love and laughter..
In taqwa and sincerity..
In striving for the hereafter !
<3
May Allah (swt) grant all the Muslim sisters with such husbands.. Aameen ya Rabb!! :)
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A perfect woman's du'a for her future hubby
O Allah ! Please grant me the one..
Who will be the garment for my soul..
Who will satisfy half of my deen..
And in doing so make me whole..
Make him righteous and on your path..
In all he'll do and say..
And sprinkle water on me at tahajjud..
Reminding me to pray..
May he earn from halal sources..
And spend within his means..
May he seek Your guidance always..
To fulfill all his dreams..
May he always refer to Qur'an..
and the Sunnah as his moral guide..
May he thank and appreciate You..
For the woman at his side..
May he be conscious of his anger..
And often fast and pray..
Be charitable and sensitive..
In every possible way..
May he honor and protect me..
And guide me in this life..
And please You!
Make me worthy..
to be his loving wife..
And finally, O Allah !
Make him abundant in love and laughter..
In taqwa and sincerity..
In striving for the hereafter !
<3
May Allah (swt) grant all the Muslim sisters with such husbands.. Aameen ya Rabb!! :)
Awwwww! That was beautiful, MashaAllah <3
JazakAllah khair for sharing. =')
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same here.
Wa iyyaki. :)
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"Relationship between husband and wife is like the relationship between the hand and the eye. If the hand gets hurt, the eye cries, and if the eye cries the hand wipes its tears."
"A Woman once asked her mother, "Mother, how will I ever find the right Man?"
Her mother replied, "Forget finding the 'right' Man, focus on being the right Woman."
"A sweet reply from a Husband to his Wife:
WIFE: What will you do if I get angry with you?
HUSBAND: I will just take you in my arms and hug you tightly 'till the warmth of my hug melts your anger!!!"
"Wife asks husband:
“What is the happiest moment in your life?”
He looked at her face and said:
“It has not yet come..”
She fell silent for a moment, then she asked:
“And when will it be?”
He said:”The day when you open the door and you say to me ‘my dear husband, Assalaamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh’ - in our palace in Jannah.”
Found them on Fb and saved for yuh Romeesa XD
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^There are beautiful, mA. Thanks so much, GG <3 :-*
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You're most welcome =D
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A man that lowers his gaze when at the presence of woman, seems more handsome than the others.
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A man that lowers his gaze when at the presence of woman, seems more handsome than the others.
::) ::) awww.. awesome :)
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::) ::) awww.. awesome :)
Too bad we don't find such guys these days. ::)
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(http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lvde2yDNkG1qgsk5do1_500.jpg)
So true. (:
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(http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lsnducSDt81r2yepfo1_500.jpg)
“He feeds his wife every morning when he visits her at the Nursing home. She hasn’t recognized him in five years due to her Alzheimer’s, when he was asked, “If she doesn’t know who you are, why do you go?” He smiled and said, “She doesn’t know who I am, but I know who she is.”
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“Do not marry the one you love, but love the one you marry.”
— Imam Ja’far al-Sadiq (AS)
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"I don't want what Romeo and Juliet had, I want what Muhammad (PBUH) and Khadijah (RA) had."
BEST quote so far. <333
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(http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lsnducSDt81r2yepfo1_500.jpg)
“He feeds his wife every morning when he visits her at the Nursing home. She hasn’t recognized him in five years due to her Alzheimer’s, when he was asked, “If she doesn’t know who you are, why do you go?” He smiled and said, “She doesn’t know who I am, but I know who she is.”
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“Do not marry the one you love, but love the one you marry.”
— Imam Ja’far al-Sadiq (AS)
:'( soooo sweet
and yeah true :)
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:'( soooo sweet
and yeah true :)
Indeed. <3
I wanna be old like that with my hubby. :D :P
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A Successful Marriage: The Missing Link
by Yasmin Mogahed
“And among His signs is that He created for you mates from among yourselves that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between you; verily, in that are signs for people who reflect.” (Qur’an, 30:21)
We’ve all read this verse on countless marriage announcements. But how many have actualized it? How many of our marriages really embody that love and mercy described by Allah? What is going wrong when so many of our marriages are ending in divorce?
According to Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, author of Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs, the answer is simple. In his book, Eggerichs explains that extensive research has found that a man’s primary need is for respect, while a woman’s primary need is for love. He describes what he calls the “crazy cycle”—the pattern of argumentation that results when the wife does not show respect and the husband does not show love. He explains how the two reinforce and cause one another. In other words, when a wife feels that her husband is acting unloving, she often reacts with disrespect, which in turn makes the husband act even more unloving.
Eggerichs argues that the solution to the “crazy cycle” is for the wife to show unconditional respect to her husband and for the husband to show unconditional love to his wife. This means that a wife should not say that first her husband must be loving before she will show him respect. By doing so, she will only bring about more unloving behavior. And a husband should not say that first his wife must be respectful before he will show her love. By doing so, he will only bring about more disrespectful behavior. The two must be unconditional.
When I reflected on this concept, I realized that looking at the Qur’an and prophetic wisdom, there are no two concepts more stressed with regards to the marital relationship.
To men, the Prophet ? said,
“Take good care of women, for they were created from a bent rib, and the most curved part of it is its top; if you try to straighten it, you will break it, and if you leave it, it will remain arched, so take good care of women.” (Bukhari & Muslim)
He has further stressed: “The most perfect believer in the matter of faith is one who has excellent behavior; and the best among you are those who behave best towards their wives.” (Al-Tirmidhi)
The Prophet ? has also said, “A believing man should not hate a believing woman; if he dislikes one of her characteristics, he will be pleased with another.” (Muslim)
Allah says:
“…Live with them in kindness. For if you dislike them – perhaps you dislike a thing and Allah makes therein much good.” (Qur’an, 4:19)
In these jewels of wisdom, men are urged to be kind and loving towards their wives. Moreover, they are urged to overlook their wife’s faults when showing that kindness and love.
On the other hand, when addressing the wife, the focus is different. Why are women not told again and again to be kind and loving towards their husbands? Perhaps it is because unconditional love already comes naturally to women. Few men complain that their wives do not love them. But many complain that their wives do not respect them. And it is this sentiment which is most stressed in the Qur’an and sunnah, with regards to wives.
Respect can be manifest in a number of ways. One of the most important ways to show respect is the respect of one’s wishes. When someone says, “I respect your advice,” they mean “I will follow your advice.” Respecting a leader, means doing what they say. Respecting our parents means not going against their wishes. And respecting one’s husband means respecting his wishes. The Prophet ? has said: “When any woman prays her five, fasts her month, guards her body and obeys her husband, it is said to her: ‘Enter paradise from whichever of its doors you wish.’” [At-Tirmidhi]
Why are we as women told to respect and follow the wishes of our husbands? It is because men are given an extra degree of responsibility. Allah says: “Men are the protectors and maintainers [qawwamun] of women, because Allah has given the one more [strength] than the other, and because they support them from their means . . .” (Qur’an, 4:34)
But won’t this unconditional respect towards one’s husband put us, as women, in a weak, submissive position? Won’t we set ourselves up to be taken advantage of and abused? Quite the contrary. The Quran, the prophetic example, and even contemporary research have proven the exact opposite. The more respect a woman shows her husband, the more love and kindness he will show her. And in fact, the more disrespect she shows, the more harsh and unloving he becomes.
Similarly, a man may question why he should show kindness and love towards even a disrespectful wife. To answer this question, one only needs to look at the example of Omar Ibn ul-Khattab. When a man came to Omar (who was Khalifah at the time) to complain of his wife, he heard Omar’s own wife yelling at him. While the man turned to leave, Omar called him back. The man told Omar that he had come to complain of the same problem that Omar himself had. To this Omar replied that his wife tolerated him, washed his clothes, cleaned his home, made him comfortable, and took care of his children. If she did all of this for him, how could he not tolerate her when she raised her voice?
This story provides a beautiful example for all of us—not only for the men. This story is a priceless illustration of tolerance and patience, which is essential for any successful marriage. Moreover, consider the reward in the hereafter for those who show patience: Allah says, “Only those who are patient shall receive their reward in full without reckoning (or measure).” (Qur’an, 39:10)
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"Allah has already written the names of your spouses for you. What you need to work on is your relationship with Allah. He will send her/him to you when you’re ready. It is only a matter of time."
(http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_t5j5ly7nXkk/TLs-L0_RmwI/AAAAAAAAAEg/8yM3Rw8KnTQ/s1600/soulmate.jpg)
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Seeing cute Muslim couple,
smiling and saying "Masha'Allah"
and then " Insha'Allah" :D !!!
?"When a husband and wife look at each other with LOVE, Allah looks at both with Mercy" [Bukhari 6:19 & Tirmidhi 14:79]
the moon said to a wife "If your husband is so careless why don't you leave him?" to which the wife replied "does your sky ever leave you when you don't glow?"
:)
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^Beautiful. Specially the last one. :D <3
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IKR ;D .. I found them on Fb :)
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IKR ;D .. I found them on Fb :)
Ahh, keep sharing them here since I don't have FB ::)
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“You might be married to the worst man ever, like Asyah was married to Pharaoh - but it didn’t change her and her loyalty and love to Allah.
You might be married to the best of men, like Prophet of God, and still not enter Heaven - like the wife of Nabi Lut a.s.
You might be not married to any man, like Maryam (alaiha salam), and Allah can make your rank higher than any women on the Earth. Know your priorities. Love and trust is with Allah first.”
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“You might be married to the worst man ever, like Asyah was married to Pharaoh - but it didn’t change her and her loyalty and love to Allah.
You might be married to the best of men, like Prophet of God, and still not enter Heaven - like the wife of Nabi Lut a.s.
You might be not married to any man, like Maryam (alaiha salam), and Allah can make your rank higher than any women on the Earth. Know your priorities. Love and trust is with Allah first.”
:) always
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:) always
Ameen :D
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DELAY IN MARRIAGE
There was a woman who reached the age of forty; her sisters and brothers all got married, and her parents died, and she stayed in the house alone. She was religiously committed and righteous.
A woman said to her: May Allah help you to cope with this loneliness; you have stayed alone after all your family has gone. And she started to encourage her to be patient.
But she gave an amazing response that not even great and prominent people could come up with, and those who heard this answer were stunned by it. She said:
"Who told you that I am living alone? Not at all. I have not lived a single day without the one I love. He is with me night and day, and He does not leave me for a moment, and I talk to Him at moments when He is closest to me. He is my Lord."
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“Oh external worshiper, know that worship without heart is motions. Oh seeker of knowledge, know that knowledge without purification is a dangerous weapon of the ego. Oh activist, know that work without orientation of heart is fruitless. Oh lover, know that love without God is pain.” -Yasmin Mogahed
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(http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lxd8sizD5Z1qd23oto1_500.jpg)
Not sure of the source here.
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A love letter from a Muslim man to the girl he loves.
Dear Wife-in-future,
If you love me, don’t confess your love to me through haraam ways, This won’t please me and will instead drive me away! Love games don’t attract me. If you love me, have sabr and I will knock on your door when the time is right. Don’t give me privileges which I don’t deserve. Keep me away from you, and I will approach you.... If you approach me..., I will stay away from you. Don’t love me, for I want you ignorant in love. I want to teach you love when the right time comes and when you will be mine, Only when we are joined together under our Creator’s satisfaction!
Don’t tell me what you feel, don’t give me from your time, don’t push me to lose you. I am a man who does not want to see the one he loves committing sins or to live a forbidden love behind her family’s back. I don’t want her to feel guilty and don’t want her heart to suffer. Put me under limits that I won’t cross, kill me inside you so I won’t grow to kill you inside me.Preserve what is beautiful inside you. I want you innocent, chaste, pure.
I want you my love, but with Allah’s blessings and not shaytan’s whisperings. And then, Only then, I will face everything and will be ready to go through difficulties to get you, Don’t be easy because then, I may not value you. Don’t love me now, so I won’t hate you! My heart wants you and doesn’t want to lose you. I don’t want you to be just a passing fancy for me, I want you a wife, a lover, the mother of my children, I want you to be the one I will spend my whole life with. How could I be a faithful man to you when I try to break your chastity? How would I be faithful to you if I push you to betray your family? How could I trust a love which grew under Allah’s wrath ?
To make you mine through niqah is Islam’s way, Till then wait patiently and donot dismay. To love you means to protect you, To Love you is to bring you closer to Allah and HIS deen To preserve you not to kill what is beautiful inside you.
-Your Husband-to-be(IN SHA Allah!)
Spreading Islam => page/member on fb ;D
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(http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lxdm4fIwYP1r86zjto1_500.png)
I get mine from tumblr. 8)
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Isn't all this for later? ::)
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Isn't all this for later? ::)
Oh no! Banana is gonna spam the thread. ::) :o :o
LOL :P
Yes, it is ... just making preparations. ::) :P
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Oh no! Banana is gonna spam the thread. ::) :o :o
LOL :P
Yes, it is ... just making preparations. ::) :P
Whaaaaaaaat??! How'd you guess? :P
The wedding cake...the most important thing to prepare...should be 3 decks of swiss chocolate brownies :P
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Whaaaaaaaat??! How'd you guess? :P
The wedding cake...the most important thing to prepare...should be 3 decks of swiss chocolate brownies :P
Your too obvious. ::)
Mine will be 7. 8) :P
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Whaaaaaaaat??! How'd you guess? :P
The wedding cake...the most important thing to prepare...should be 3 decks of swiss chocolate brownies :P
Can't we just have butter cake?
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Your too obvious. ::)
Mine will be 7. 8) :P
Are you accusing a Global Moderator of spamming? :o
:P :P :P
Yeah right..that'll topple before you can even cut a slice :P
Can't we just have butter cake?
Butter cake? On a wedding? ::)
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Are you accusing a Global Moderator of spamming? :o
:P :P :P
Yeah right..that'll topple before you can even cut a slice :P
Butter cake? On a wedding? ::)
Why not? We need a CHANGE! :P
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Are you accusing a Global Moderator of spamming? :o
:P :P :P
Yeah right..that'll topple before you can even cut a slice :P
I know you are. ::)
(http://www.wedding-flowers-and-reception-ideas.com/images/wedding-cake-gallery-004.jpg)
(http://cdn.solidrecipe.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/Beatifull-Wedding-Cake-Photos-8.jpg)
LOL, jokes. ;D
I like to keep it simple and elegant. :D
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Why not? We need a CHANGE! :P
Okay forget the cake...just some Baskin Robbins, perhaps? :P
I know you are. ::)
(http://www.wedding-flowers-and-reception-ideas.com/images/wedding-cake-gallery-004.jpg)
(http://cdn.solidrecipe.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/Beatifull-Wedding-Cake-Photos-8.jpg)
LOL, jokes. ;D
I like to keep it simple and elegant. :D
Hehehe right you are >:D
LOL yeah those are simple... :P
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Okay forget the cake...just some Baskin Robbins, perhaps? :P
Hehehe right you are >:D
LOL yeah those are simple... :P
Always am. ;D
I was referring to the 7 deck cake. ::) :P
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Okay forget the cake...just some Baskin Robbins, perhaps? :P
As long as there's not much PINK! No problemo :D
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As long as there's not much PINK! No problemo :D
I don't like you. :P
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I don't like you. :P
WHY?WHY?WHY?
Now you'll reject my proposal! WHY? Romeesa WHY? :P
You've got to admit, Baskin Robbins is TOO pink. It actually hurts your vision. ::)
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WHY?WHY?WHY?
Now you'll reject my proposal! WHY? Romeesa WHY? :P
You've got to admit, Baskin Robbins is TOO pink. It actually hurts your vision. ::)
LOL, cos you rejected Pink. :P
Naw. I hardly see any pink there. Looks more blue to me. :P
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LOL, cos you rejected Pink. :P
Naw. I hardly see any pink there. Looks more blue to me. :P
SERIOUSLY?! You're just kidding aren't you? Next time I go in there, I'll try getting a pic for you.
Oh well, why not just come over here to see for yourself? And....and.... I might be able to charm you then ;)
:P
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SERIOUSLY?! You're just kidding aren't you? Next time I go in there, I'll try getting a pic for you.
Oh well, why not just come over here to see for yourself? And....and.... I might be able to charm you then ;)
:P
Haha, sure. :P
Why don't you come over here ? :D :P
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Haha, sure. :P
Why don't you come over here ? :D :P
I wouldn't mind staring at a Baskin Robbins that's not PINK! :P
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Baskin Robbins is cool and because its wedding I wont say a word...
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I wouldn't mind staring at a Baskin Robbins that's not PINK! :P
Pink ain't so bad.
Unless I see a guy wearing one. :-X *ninja* :P
Amelia - why ? :-\
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Come on, it DOES suit some guys. 8) As long as they are gay. :P
Lia, please don't tell me you're gonna have cake for your wedding!
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Come on, it DOES suit some guys. 8) As long as they are gay. :P
Lia, please don't tell me you're gonna have cake for your wedding!
It's worst when they wear shocking pink. >_<
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Romy, I'm a Nutritionist and Dietetian, remember?
iluvme, Why would I have that stack of calories and fats for my wedding? I want to start a new life, not kill my lovely friends ::) :P
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Romy, I'm a Nutritionist and Dietetian, remember?
iluvme, Why would I have that stack of calories and fats for my wedding? I want to start a new life, not kill my lovely friends ::) :P
But your lovely friends are begging you for some calorie filled anti-nutritious food....you're faced with a tough choice >:D Which one will it be? ;D ;D
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But your lovely friends are begging you for some calorie filled anti-nutritious food....you're faced with a tough choice >:D Which one will it be? ;D ;D
um... whose wedding is it? :P
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I know you are. ::)
(http://www.wedding-flowers-and-reception-ideas.com/images/wedding-cake-gallery-004.jpg)
(http://cdn.solidrecipe.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/Beatifull-Wedding-Cake-Photos-8.jpg)
LOL, jokes. ;D
I like to keep it simple and elegant. :D
amazing cakes ::) ...
heehee
yeah simple and elegant are always the best! :)
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This forum has become a girls-exclusive forum. However cute giggly girls may be to a panda, PoThePanda does not approve.
I am on the search for water now.
Just kidding! All my hydration I receive from bamboo.
I'm searching for bamboo now.
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whose Bamboo by the way ? I'm not much of a panda fan so I don't know what that is =/
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Females these days... Expecting the men to do everything for them, including typing in things on Google.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bamboo
It is one of the most scrumptious plants you will find in mainland China.
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That was very kind of you Panda ... Thank you , you're too sweat ::)
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Yes, my sweat is unbearable to even myself. I will now.. Chomp.
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This forum has become a girls-exclusive forum. However cute giggly girls may be to a panda, PoThePanda does not approve.
I am on the search for water now.
Just kidding! All my hydration I receive from bamboo.
I'm searching for bamboo now.
What a speech...not one that Pandas usually do; they're extremely shy! :P
um... whose wedding is it? :P
Based on your previous post, it seems to be your wedding menu :P
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Mission completed: thread hijacked >:D
X-------------------------------------------------------------------------------X
Now no more silly stuff and start posting about morals :P
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“Vile women are for vile men, and vile men for vile women. Good women are for good men, and good men for good women; such are innocent of that which people say: For them is pardon and a bountiful provision.”
(Sura An-Noor, Verse 26)
(http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lvvm8y2cqk1r44391o1_500.jpg)
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This forum has become a girls-exclusive forum. However cute giggly girls may be to a panda, PoThePanda does not approve.
I am on the search for water now.
Just kidding! All my hydration I receive from bamboo.
I'm searching for bamboo now.
Posting on marriage thread when you don't approve ... ::)
Quite suspicious. Hmmmmmm. :P :P
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(http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lwwba62OfE1qahho7o1_500.png)
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(http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lvutxbfz961qhgzoko1_500.jpg)
He prayed finished and walked over to his wife. He sat down with her and took her hands. He began to read something while he held her fingers. She asked, “what do you do?” He answered, “I finished my prayer and got ready to do Tasbih on your hands so we can share the AJR, and inshAllah we will be together in paradise too.”
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So cute, mA. =')
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?-'A poor pious man is a better marriage suitor for you than a rich man who is not pious..' - [Sahih Bukhari] <3
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?"Dear Sisters,
If only you knew how special you are to Him.
So much so, that He has demanded that you were protected in every way, Hijab being one of them.
So much so, that He has placed Jannah beneath your feet.
So much so, that He sent His greatest creation (the Prophet sallalahu alaihi wassalam) to show men how to treat you.
So much so, that life revolves around you; the future revolves around you.
So much so, that the most Merciful has dedicated a whole chapter of His words to you [Surah An-Nisaa]. He has valued you; He has elevated your worth; He has beautified your existence - Don’t cheapen your soul to a value any less....
You are precious."
Source the page => Stunning Hijabs on Facebook!
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(http://a3.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/373959_302681516436085_195815643789340_780293_1055434018_n.jpg)
Good one (Y)
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^Love that quote. (:
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(http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lxlin4X9Sy1r6o61so1_500.jpg)
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(http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lwzves8WO11qan9r1o1_400.jpg)
(Y)
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A GREAT LOVE STORY
This is the love story between Zainab bint Muhammad and Abu al-'As ibn Rabi'';
Zainab was the daughter of the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh)
Abu al-'As ibn Rabi' was loved by the Prophet (pbuh) very much.
One day he went to the Prophet (pbuh) before he had received his mission of Prophethood and said:
"I want to marry your eldest daughter".
So the Prophet(pbuh) replied: "I must ask her first".
He went to Zainab and asked her: "Your cousin came to me and he wishes to marry you, do you accept him as your husband?" Her face turned red with bashfulness and she smiled.
So Zainab married him, the beginning of a great love story.
They had two children; Ali and Omama.
Then Muhammad ibn Abdullahi became a Prophet (pbuh) while Abu al-'As ibn Rabi' was away from Makkah.
When he returned he saw Zainab had become a Muslim.
When he first came back, his wife said "I have great news for you".
He stood up and left her. Zainab was surprised and followed him as she said,
"My father became a Prophet (pbuh) and I have become a Muslim".
He replied, "Why didn't you tell me first?" Hence a big problem began between the two; a problem of religion and belief.
She told him, "I wasn't going to disbelieve in my father and his message, he is not a liar, and he is "The Honest and Trustworthy". I'm not the only believer; my mother and my sisters became Muslims, my cousin Ali ibn Abi Talib became a Muslim, your cousin Uthman ibn Affan became a Muslim, and your friend, Abu Bakr, became a Muslim".
He replied, "Well, as for me, I don't want people to say, 'he let down his people and his forefathers to please his wife'. And I am not accusing your father of anything". Then he said, "So will you excuse me and understand?" She replied, "Who will excuse and understand you if I don't?
I will stay beside you and help you until you reach the truth." And she kept her word for 20 years.
He remained an unbeliever, and then came the migration. Zainab went to her father and asked him for the permission to stay with her husband. The Prophet (SAW) replied, "Stay with your husband and children".
So Zainab stayed in Makkah, until the battle of Badr occurred.
Her husband was to fight in the army of Quraish against the Muslims.
For Zainab, it meant that her husband will be fighting her father, a time Zainab had always feared.
She kept crying out: "O Allah, I fear one day the sun may rise and my children become orphans or I lose my father".
So the battle started, and ended in victory for the Muslims.
Abu al-'As ibn Rabi' was captured by the Muslims, and news of this reached Makkah.
Zainab asked, "What did my father do?" They told her, "The Muslims won". So she prayed to Allah, thanking Him.
Then she asked: "What did my husband do?" They said: "He was captured". She said, "I'll send a payment to release him". She didn't own anything of much value, so she took off her mother's necklace, and sent it with her huusbands brother to the Prophet (pbuh)
While the Prophet (pbuh) was sitting, taking payments and releasing captives, he saw Khadeeja's necklace. He held it up and asked: "Whose payment is this?"
They said: "Abu Al'As ibn Rabi".
He cried and said "This is Khadeeja's necklace".
As soon as the Messenger of Allah saw that necklace, he had a feeling of extreme compassion and his heart palpitated for the great memory.
The Companions who were present there gazed in amazement having being captivated by the magnificence of the situation.
After a long silence, the Messenger of Allah stood up and said "People, this man is my in-law, should I release him? And do you accept the return of this necklace to my daughter?" They answered in unison "Yes, Messenger of Allah".
The Prophet (pbuh) gave the necklace to Abu Al'As and said to him: "Tell Zainab not to give away Khadeeja's necklace".
Then he (SAW) said, "Abu Al'As, Can we speak privately?" He took him aside and said, "Allah has ordered me to separate between a Muslim and a disbeliever, so could you return my daughter to me?" Abu El'A** reluctantly agreed.
Zainab stood on the gates of Makkah waiting for the arrival of Abu Al'As. When he finally came he said, "I am going away". She asked, "Where to?" He replied, "It is not me who is going, it is you. You are going to your father. We must separate because you are a Muslim". She implored him, "Will you become a Muslim and come with me?" But he refused.
So Zainab took her son and daughter and traveled to Madinah, and for 6 years she refused to remarry, hoping that one day Abu Al'As would come.
After 6 years, he was traveling in a caravan from Makkah to Syria. During the journey, he was intercepted by some of the Prophet's companions.
He escaped and asked for Zainab's home. He knocked on her door shortly before the dawn prayer.
She opened the door and asked him "Did you become a Muslim?" He whispered "No, I come as a fugitive". She implored him once more "Can you become a Muslim?" Again his answer was a negative.
"Do not worry." She said, Welcome the father of my children.
After the Prophet (pbuh) prayed the dawn prayer in congregation with the people, they heard a voice from the back of the Masjid, "I have freed Abu Al'As ibn Rabi".
Zainab had granted his freedom.
The Prophet (pbuh) asked, "Have you heard what I heard?" They all said, "Yes, Messenger of Allah".
Zainab said, "He is the father of my children and I have freed him".
The Prophet(pbuh) stood up and said, "O people, I declare that this man was a very good son-in-law, he never broke his promise, and neither did he tell lies. So if you accept, I will return his money back and let him go.
If you refuse it's your decision and I will not blame you for it." The companions agreed, "We will give him his money".
So the Prophet (pbuh) said to Zainab, "We have freed the one you have freed, O Zainab." Then he went to her and told her, ...don't let him get near you {no intercourse}, he is prohibited for you." She replied, "Sure, father, I'll do as you say".
She went in and told her husband, "O Abu Al'As, didn't you miss us at all?
Won't you become a Muslim and stay with us?" But he refused. Abu Al'As then took the money and returned to Makkah.
Once he returned he stood up and announced, "O people, here is your money. Is there anything left?"
They replied, "No, Abu Al'As, there is nothing left, thanks a lot." So Abu Al'As said, "I testify that there is no god but Allah, and Muhammad is His Messenger."
Then he went back to Madinah and ran to the Prophet as he said, "Dear Prophet, you freed me yesterday, and today I say that I testify there is no god but Allah and you are His Messenger."
He asked the Prophet (pbuh), "Will you give me the permission to go back to Zainab?" The Prophet (pbuh) smiled and said, "Come with me"; he took him to Zainab's house and knocked on her door.
The Prophet (pbuh) said, "O Zainab, your husband came to me and asked if he can return to you".
Just like 20 years before, her face turned red with bashfulness and she smiled.
The sad thing was, a year after this incident, Zainab died.
Abu Al'As shed hot tears because of her death and drove those who were around him to tears.
The Messenger of Allah came with eyes full of tears and a heart full of sorrow.
Zainab's death reminded him of the death of his wife, Khadeejah. He told the women, who gathered around Zainab's corpse, "Wash her three times and use camphor in the third wash."
He performed funeral prayers on her and followed her final resting place. Abu El'A** returned to his children, Ali and Omama. Kissing them and wetting them with his tears, he remembered the face of his departed darling.
May Allah be pleased with Zainab, the Prophet's daughter! May He reward her with Paradise for her patience, endurance and struggle!
Abu El'A** would cry so profusely that the people saw the Prophet (pbuh) himself weeping and calming him down. Abu Al'As would say, "By Allah, I can't stand life anymore without Zainab". He died one year after Zainab's death...
-
A GREAT LOVE STORY
This is the love story between Zainab bint Muhammad and Abu al-'As ibn Rabi'';
Zainab was the daughter of the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh)
Abu al-'As ibn Rabi' was loved by the Prophet (pbuh) very much.
One day he went to the Prophet (pbuh) before he had received his mission of Prophethood and said:
"I want to marry your eldest daughter".
So the Prophet(pbuh) replied: "I must ask her first".
He went to Zainab and asked her: "Your cousin came to me and he wishes to marry you, do you accept him as your husband?" Her face turned red with bashfulness and she smiled.
So Zainab married him, the beginning of a great love story.
They had two children; Ali and Omama.
Then Muhammad ibn Abdullahi became a Prophet (pbuh) while Abu al-'As ibn Rabi' was away from Makkah.
When he returned he saw Zainab had become a Muslim.
When he first came back, his wife said "I have great news for you".
He stood up and left her. Zainab was surprised and followed him as she said,
"My father became a Prophet (pbuh) and I have become a Muslim".
He replied, "Why didn't you tell me first?" Hence a big problem began between the two; a problem of religion and belief.
She told him, "I wasn't going to disbelieve in my father and his message, he is not a liar, and he is "The Honest and Trustworthy". I'm not the only believer; my mother and my sisters became Muslims, my cousin Ali ibn Abi Talib became a Muslim, your cousin Uthman ibn Affan became a Muslim, and your friend, Abu Bakr, became a Muslim".
He replied, "Well, as for me, I don't want people to say, 'he let down his people and his forefathers to please his wife'. And I am not accusing your father of anything". Then he said, "So will you excuse me and understand?" She replied, "Who will excuse and understand you if I don't?
I will stay beside you and help you until you reach the truth." And she kept her word for 20 years.
He remained an unbeliever, and then came the migration. Zainab went to her father and asked him for the permission to stay with her husband. The Prophet (SAW) replied, "Stay with your husband and children".
So Zainab stayed in Makkah, until the battle of Badr occurred.
Her husband was to fight in the army of Quraish against the Muslims.
For Zainab, it meant that her husband will be fighting her father, a time Zainab had always feared.
She kept crying out: "O Allah, I fear one day the sun may rise and my children become orphans or I lose my father".
So the battle started, and ended in victory for the Muslims.
Abu al-'As ibn Rabi' was captured by the Muslims, and news of this reached Makkah.
Zainab asked, "What did my father do?" They told her, "The Muslims won". So she prayed to Allah, thanking Him.
Then she asked: "What did my husband do?" They said: "He was captured". She said, "I'll send a payment to release him". She didn't own anything of much value, so she took off her mother's necklace, and sent it with her huusbands brother to the Prophet (pbuh)
While the Prophet (pbuh) was sitting, taking payments and releasing captives, he saw Khadeeja's necklace. He held it up and asked: "Whose payment is this?"
They said: "Abu Al'As ibn Rabi".
He cried and said "This is Khadeeja's necklace".
As soon as the Messenger of Allah saw that necklace, he had a feeling of extreme compassion and his heart palpitated for the great memory.
The Companions who were present there gazed in amazement having being captivated by the magnificence of the situation.
After a long silence, the Messenger of Allah stood up and said "People, this man is my in-law, should I release him? And do you accept the return of this necklace to my daughter?" They answered in unison "Yes, Messenger of Allah".
The Prophet (pbuh) gave the necklace to Abu Al'As and said to him: "Tell Zainab not to give away Khadeeja's necklace".
Then he (SAW) said, "Abu Al'As, Can we speak privately?" He took him aside and said, "Allah has ordered me to separate between a Muslim and a disbeliever, so could you return my daughter to me?" Abu El'A** reluctantly agreed.
Zainab stood on the gates of Makkah waiting for the arrival of Abu Al'As. When he finally came he said, "I am going away". She asked, "Where to?" He replied, "It is not me who is going, it is you. You are going to your father. We must separate because you are a Muslim". She implored him, "Will you become a Muslim and come with me?" But he refused.
So Zainab took her son and daughter and traveled to Madinah, and for 6 years she refused to remarry, hoping that one day Abu Al'As would come.
After 6 years, he was traveling in a caravan from Makkah to Syria. During the journey, he was intercepted by some of the Prophet's companions.
He escaped and asked for Zainab's home. He knocked on her door shortly before the dawn prayer.
She opened the door and asked him "Did you become a Muslim?" He whispered "No, I come as a fugitive". She implored him once more "Can you become a Muslim?" Again his answer was a negative.
"Do not worry." She said, Welcome the father of my children.
After the Prophet (pbuh) prayed the dawn prayer in congregation with the people, they heard a voice from the back of the Masjid, "I have freed Abu Al'As ibn Rabi".
Zainab had granted his freedom.
The Prophet (pbuh) asked, "Have you heard what I heard?" They all said, "Yes, Messenger of Allah".
Zainab said, "He is the father of my children and I have freed him".
The Prophet(pbuh) stood up and said, "O people, I declare that this man was a very good son-in-law, he never broke his promise, and neither did he tell lies. So if you accept, I will return his money back and let him go.
If you refuse it's your decision and I will not blame you for it." The companions agreed, "We will give him his money".
So the Prophet (pbuh) said to Zainab, "We have freed the one you have freed, O Zainab." Then he went to her and told her, ...don't let him get near you {no intercourse}, he is prohibited for you." She replied, "Sure, father, I'll do as you say".
She went in and told her husband, "O Abu Al'As, didn't you miss us at all?
Won't you become a Muslim and stay with us?" But he refused. Abu Al'As then took the money and returned to Makkah.
Once he returned he stood up and announced, "O people, here is your money. Is there anything left?"
They replied, "No, Abu Al'As, there is nothing left, thanks a lot." So Abu Al'As said, "I testify that there is no god but Allah, and Muhammad is His Messenger."
Then he went back to Madinah and ran to the Prophet as he said, "Dear Prophet, you freed me yesterday, and today I say that I testify there is no god but Allah and you are His Messenger."
He asked the Prophet (pbuh), "Will you give me the permission to go back to Zainab?" The Prophet (pbuh) smiled and said, "Come with me"; he took him to Zainab's house and knocked on her door.
The Prophet (pbuh) said, "O Zainab, your husband came to me and asked if he can return to you".
Just like 20 years before, her face turned red with bashfulness and she smiled.
The sad thing was, a year after this incident, Zainab died.
Abu Al'As shed hot tears because of her death and drove those who were around him to tears.
The Messenger of Allah came with eyes full of tears and a heart full of sorrow.
Zainab's death reminded him of the death of his wife, Khadeejah. He told the women, who gathered around Zainab's corpse, "Wash her three times and use camphor in the third wash."
He performed funeral prayers on her and followed her final resting place. Abu El'A** returned to his children, Ali and Omama. Kissing them and wetting them with his tears, he remembered the face of his departed darling.
May Allah be pleased with Zainab, the Prophet's daughter! May He reward her with Paradise for her patience, endurance and struggle!
Abu El'A** would cry so profusely that the people saw the Prophet (pbuh) himself weeping and calming him down. Abu Al'As would say, "By Allah, I can't stand life anymore without Zainab". He died one year after Zainab's death...
:'( .. heart touching
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Touching story, Lia. <3
This is how wives should be. Great role models ... <3 MashaAllah :)
-
A GREAT LOVE STORY
This is the love story between Zainab bint Muhammad and Abu al-'As ibn Rabi'';
Zainab was the daughter of the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh)
Abu al-'As ibn Rabi' was loved by the Prophet (pbuh) very much.
One day he went to the Prophet (pbuh) before he had received his mission of Prophethood and said:
"I want to marry your eldest daughter".
So the Prophet(pbuh) replied: "I must ask her first".
He went to Zainab and asked her: "Your cousin came to me and he wishes to marry you, do you accept him as your husband?" Her face turned red with bashfulness and she smiled.
So Zainab married him, the beginning of a great love story.
They had two children; Ali and Omama.
Then Muhammad ibn Abdullahi became a Prophet (pbuh) while Abu al-'As ibn Rabi' was away from Makkah.
When he returned he saw Zainab had become a Muslim.
When he first came back, his wife said "I have great news for you".
He stood up and left her. Zainab was surprised and followed him as she said,
"My father became a Prophet (pbuh) and I have become a Muslim".
He replied, "Why didn't you tell me first?" Hence a big problem began between the two; a problem of religion and belief.
She told him, "I wasn't going to disbelieve in my father and his message, he is not a liar, and he is "The Honest and Trustworthy". I'm not the only believer; my mother and my sisters became Muslims, my cousin Ali ibn Abi Talib became a Muslim, your cousin Uthman ibn Affan became a Muslim, and your friend, Abu Bakr, became a Muslim".
He replied, "Well, as for me, I don't want people to say, 'he let down his people and his forefathers to please his wife'. And I am not accusing your father of anything". Then he said, "So will you excuse me and understand?" She replied, "Who will excuse and understand you if I don't?
I will stay beside you and help you until you reach the truth." And she kept her word for 20 years.
He remained an unbeliever, and then came the migration. Zainab went to her father and asked him for the permission to stay with her husband. The Prophet (SAW) replied, "Stay with your husband and children".
So Zainab stayed in Makkah, until the battle of Badr occurred.
Her husband was to fight in the army of Quraish against the Muslims.
For Zainab, it meant that her husband will be fighting her father, a time Zainab had always feared.
She kept crying out: "O Allah, I fear one day the sun may rise and my children become orphans or I lose my father".
So the battle started, and ended in victory for the Muslims.
Abu al-'As ibn Rabi' was captured by the Muslims, and news of this reached Makkah.
Zainab asked, "What did my father do?" They told her, "The Muslims won". So she prayed to Allah, thanking Him.
Then she asked: "What did my husband do?" They said: "He was captured". She said, "I'll send a payment to release him". She didn't own anything of much value, so she took off her mother's necklace, and sent it with her huusbands brother to the Prophet (pbuh)
While the Prophet (pbuh) was sitting, taking payments and releasing captives, he saw Khadeeja's necklace. He held it up and asked: "Whose payment is this?"
They said: "Abu Al'As ibn Rabi".
He cried and said "This is Khadeeja's necklace".
As soon as the Messenger of Allah saw that necklace, he had a feeling of extreme compassion and his heart palpitated for the great memory.
The Companions who were present there gazed in amazement having being captivated by the magnificence of the situation.
After a long silence, the Messenger of Allah stood up and said "People, this man is my in-law, should I release him? And do you accept the return of this necklace to my daughter?" They answered in unison "Yes, Messenger of Allah".
The Prophet (pbuh) gave the necklace to Abu Al'As and said to him: "Tell Zainab not to give away Khadeeja's necklace".
Then he (SAW) said, "Abu Al'As, Can we speak privately?" He took him aside and said, "Allah has ordered me to separate between a Muslim and a disbeliever, so could you return my daughter to me?" Abu El'A** reluctantly agreed.
Zainab stood on the gates of Makkah waiting for the arrival of Abu Al'As. When he finally came he said, "I am going away". She asked, "Where to?" He replied, "It is not me who is going, it is you. You are going to your father. We must separate because you are a Muslim". She implored him, "Will you become a Muslim and come with me?" But he refused.
So Zainab took her son and daughter and traveled to Madinah, and for 6 years she refused to remarry, hoping that one day Abu Al'As would come.
After 6 years, he was traveling in a caravan from Makkah to Syria. During the journey, he was intercepted by some of the Prophet's companions.
He escaped and asked for Zainab's home. He knocked on her door shortly before the dawn prayer.
She opened the door and asked him "Did you become a Muslim?" He whispered "No, I come as a fugitive". She implored him once more "Can you become a Muslim?" Again his answer was a negative.
"Do not worry." She said, Welcome the father of my children.
After the Prophet (pbuh) prayed the dawn prayer in congregation with the people, they heard a voice from the back of the Masjid, "I have freed Abu Al'As ibn Rabi".
Zainab had granted his freedom.
The Prophet (pbuh) asked, "Have you heard what I heard?" They all said, "Yes, Messenger of Allah".
Zainab said, "He is the father of my children and I have freed him".
The Prophet(pbuh) stood up and said, "O people, I declare that this man was a very good son-in-law, he never broke his promise, and neither did he tell lies. So if you accept, I will return his money back and let him go.
If you refuse it's your decision and I will not blame you for it." The companions agreed, "We will give him his money".
So the Prophet (pbuh) said to Zainab, "We have freed the one you have freed, O Zainab." Then he went to her and told her, ...don't let him get near you {no intercourse}, he is prohibited for you." She replied, "Sure, father, I'll do as you say".
She went in and told her husband, "O Abu Al'As, didn't you miss us at all?
Won't you become a Muslim and stay with us?" But he refused. Abu Al'As then took the money and returned to Makkah.
Once he returned he stood up and announced, "O people, here is your money. Is there anything left?"
They replied, "No, Abu Al'As, there is nothing left, thanks a lot." So Abu Al'As said, "I testify that there is no god but Allah, and Muhammad is His Messenger."
Then he went back to Madinah and ran to the Prophet as he said, "Dear Prophet, you freed me yesterday, and today I say that I testify there is no god but Allah and you are His Messenger."
He asked the Prophet (pbuh), "Will you give me the permission to go back to Zainab?" The Prophet (pbuh) smiled and said, "Come with me"; he took him to Zainab's house and knocked on her door.
The Prophet (pbuh) said, "O Zainab, your husband came to me and asked if he can return to you".
Just like 20 years before, her face turned red with bashfulness and she smiled.
The sad thing was, a year after this incident, Zainab died.
Abu Al'As shed hot tears because of her death and drove those who were around him to tears.
The Messenger of Allah came with eyes full of tears and a heart full of sorrow.
Zainab's death reminded him of the death of his wife, Khadeejah. He told the women, who gathered around Zainab's corpse, "Wash her three times and use camphor in the third wash."
He performed funeral prayers on her and followed her final resting place. Abu El'A** returned to his children, Ali and Omama. Kissing them and wetting them with his tears, he remembered the face of his departed darling.
May Allah be pleased with Zainab, the Prophet's daughter! May He reward her with Paradise for her patience, endurance and struggle!
Abu El'A** would cry so profusely that the people saw the Prophet (pbuh) himself weeping and calming him down. Abu Al'As would say, "By Allah, I can't stand life anymore without Zainab". He died one year after Zainab's death...
really amazing,MashaAllah
May Allah Grant every Muslim a husband like him<3
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I didn't know this : :o
Rasulullah (SAW) said: "The woman that is obedient and subservient to her husband; the birds in the air, fish in the sea, angels in the sky and animals in the jungles seek forgiveness for her" (Bukhari)
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I didn't know this : :o
Rasulullah (SAW) said: "The woman that is obedient and subservient to her husband; the birds in the air, fish in the sea, angels in the sky and animals in the jungles seek forgiveness for her" (Bukhari)
:o wow
thats amazing ...
inshaAllah .. we will be great wives :D
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I didn't know this : :o
Rasulullah (SAW) said: "The woman that is obedient and subservient to her husband; the birds in the air, fish in the sea, angels in the sky and animals in the jungles seek forgiveness for her" (Bukhari)
Beautiful, MashaAllah! <3 :D
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(https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/409543_326303660745812_111313482244832_850464_1596877070_n.jpg) :-[ :-[ ::)
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^ IS dat really you in the pic?..*jokes* ;D..ask him to wash his hand before he does that..it could get unhygeinic bro! ;D
i like seeing others get married..its cute and all.. but wen it comes to me..i dont like the prospect of leaving my parents or leaving my family who means the world to me..and just go start my own..its tooo bigg of a deal and i wager i wont be ready for that even 20 years from now!..and also isnt it wiser to accomplish everything you want in life..before you actually get married..i mean your career ofcorse..things could get sticky if you would have to choose between your family and career..BUT if its damon salvatore...then dats a different case! ;D
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(http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lygm7f7Eja1r7b3cso1_500.jpg)
really cute
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@ALPHA Junior - Marriage is half of our deen. :D
PS- welcome back!! :)
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@ lomessah - fine ill marry you then! :P >:D
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@ lomessah - fine ill marry you then! :P >:D
I'm sitting right here ::)
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^ i thought u dint mind sharing! :P
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^ i thought u dint mind sharing! :P
that is only supposed to be for you :P
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^ oh i see..i was mistaken then ::)...my apologies darling..so shall we continue from where we left last night?... >:D
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^ oh i see..i was mistaken then ::)...my apologies darling..so shall we continue from where we left last night?... >:D
haha.. only if you are free
We are spammin the thread :P
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“The best love story for a Muslim is finding another Muslim who makes their Imaan rise, makes them want to gain knowledge & become more pious.”
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“Blessed is the husband who sees the wife’s firm religion and follows her, and himself becomes pious. Blessed is the wife who sees her husband’s firmness in religion and becomes pious.”
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(http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lypqpzGy7k1r9vjrdo1_500.jpg)
“And among His signs is that He created for you mates from among yourselves that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between you; verily, in that are signs for people who reflect.”
(Qur’an, 30:21)
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(http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lyvyk3wyfp1qe52v7o1_500.jpg)
(:
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If Jannah Is Your Dream Hold Tight To The Deen <3
I’m looking at her, but she do not look at me. I think of her and ask myself, why is this girl not looking at me. I stand opposite her, but she turns her back to me. I see she rejects me, and I use my words, but why dosn’t she respond? ..I am thinking in my mind I’ll see her tomorrow. She wears a headscarf. She is quite covered, and I see nothing of her parts. I think to myself, and say what should I do now?
I get confused and I would like to have contact with her, but how?. I see all of her friends talking to other boys, laughing and having fun, but she sits alone at her place and read a book that I don’t know which is?. I see her with the headscarf every day, but thinking to myself and ask myself why she wears it all the time? I want to talk to her and look at her, look how she really looks like, but she dosen’t allowed me. One day, we went into each other, and I could feel her, her body touched mine, but I saw that she didn’t look at me. I just stood in front of her and looked at her and did not go my way. She walked away and said; oh no! I thought within myself what I did wrong in this moment since she said oh no? I did nothing?
One day she didn’t came to school, I started thinking about her the whole day while my tears run. I know I am a boy who does not cry, but when she’s not there, I feel myself alone. I sit and think of how my friends never have asked her, such a beautiful girl like her. What is wrong with her, and what is the difference between her and the others ? I do not understand it, but since she wears the scarf, I do not know what it takes, to talk to her or just look at her? I know only that she has beautiful eyes. Why can’t she just look at me or get to know me? I feel something for her, but she obviously feels nothing for me, I look at her when she dosen’t look at me.
I just want the warm side of her, but I can see that she is like a refrigerator. One day at school, she had a presentation about Islam, and the knowledge I learned from her that day I will never forget. I listened to her and looked at her, but she never looked at me, she didn’t look at me even once. She talked a lot while my tears fell down my cheeks, but she didn’t see it. She talked about her faith, and why she wears the scarf. Her faith made me both interested and afraid. She spoke about women and men how they should relate to each other in Islam, it made me confused. I thought about all that she said, and I got to change myself. We got winter vacation, and I read about Islam throughout the holidays, just because she did it and I wanted to see what it led to, how she was I wanted to be too, maybe then I would have contact with her. One day at school after the vacation, she wanted to pray, but the teacher said that she was not allowed. She went on to say why it was important for her, and she was to say something, I got up, went and defended her, and she got allowed. She said thanks, and it was the first time she said something to me, but ofcourse without looking at me again.
I thought it was enough, I took her arm and asked her to teach me to pray. She said ok, but still, her eyes were down. She told me a lot about islam without looking at me. I heard some sounds inside me. My body was shaking, and my mind fell off. I ran my way, and wept as if there was someone after me. I knew something was wrong, but I went home and said Allah! I cried and cried, my eyes couldn’t do it anymore, and I prayed that my sins would be forgiven. I didn’t come to school the day after, the whole day I spent time reading about Islam. I went on and eventually I began to call myself a Muslim. I began to pray, and it helped my days. I went to school, and I saw she was there. She came towards me and said Salamu alaykum and I said w’aleykum salam, where she looked at me, but just for a moment. Then we just talked about Islam, while she heard me talk about Islam, she looked at me. I waited a bit because I wanted to ask her, inshAllah.
She helped me going the right way, it was only that. And for that I thank her as a good Muslim. I ended up not writing to her and talk to her everyday, because it ended up that I proposed to her and she said yes.
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Question: what age would you consider marriage?
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Question: what age would you consider marriage?
I started considering marriage (more seriously) at 18. :)
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I started considering marriage (more seriously) at 18. :)
if a proposal came for you now .. a good one etc ... would you get married?
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if a proposal came for you now .. a good one etc ... would you get married?
I'll do Istikhara and then decide. :)
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hmm wise answer :)
by the way am just randomly asking about this....
what do you think of education after marriage?
do you think is it possible for the girl or the guy to carry on studying when they are married?
(yh if Allah is beside them,everything is possible)
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hmm wise answer :)
by the way am just randomly asking about this....
what do you think of education after marriage?
do you think is it possible for the girl or the guy to carry on studying when they are married?
(yh if Allah is beside them,everything is possible)
Well ... that really depends on the person. Each individual have their own way of thinking and handling the situation.
Personally, I'd love to continue my education even after marriage. :) Education and learning is a big part of my life. :D
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education will never leave you untill you decide to leave ...
same here ... i'd love to carry on studying after marriage..(inshaALLAH I think i will) .. will be so awesome heehee...
Do you think 27 is old to get married? (for a girl)
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education will never leave you untill you decide to leave ...
same here ... i'd love to carry on studying after marriage..(inshaALLAH I think i will) .. will be so awesome heehee...
Do you think 27 is old to get married? (for a girl)
Of course!! :D
InshaAllah, same here! :D
In my opinion, nope. No one is too old to get married. (:
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In the Name of Allah, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful
Asalaamu Alaaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatu
This flame is nothing ..."
Qari Muhammad Qayyam (may the mercy of Allah be upon him) related that a great deal of fighting and bloodshed had started prior to the Indo-Pakistan partition of 1947. He said that a very beautiful daughter of a very rich man in a certain community stepped out of her house to visit her aunt, who lived no more than a few streets away. Suddenly a riot erupted as she had gone halfway and she found herself trapped with apparently nowhere to go. She saw a mosque nearby and quickly went inside, sitting in the womens section. The rioting continued late into the night and this girl did not know what to do.
The custodian of the masjid was a very young student there and late at night when he walked through the masjid before locking up he noticed this beautiful young lady. He was a respectful young man who feared Allah and so politely asked her to leave, saying that if she was found there then both would be dishonored and thrown out. She pleaded with him because of the extreme danger outside and so he agreed that she could spend the night, and sat down to study at the opposite end of the masjid.
The girl was unable to sleep with the events of the day in her mind and so watched the young man sitting studying by candle light at the opposite end of the masjid. She kept watching him and was very surprised at something she saw. From time to time this young man would extend his hand and keep it over the open flame, only withdrawing it when the flame obviously became unbearable. He then would resume his studies and continued this throughout the night until the dawn broke.
The young man called the adhan and asked the girl to leave before the congregation started coming to pray since now everything was calm outside. She agreed on the condition that he tell her why he was placing his hand on the candle flame throughout the night. The young man said that that was his own business and so the girl refused to leave until he told her what she wanted to know. The young man gave in and said, I am at the age of youth and strong desire. We were alone and my desire was increasing, and although I was studying the shaytan would occasionally put temptation in my heart. Hence whenever I would feel any temptation I would put my hand on the flame and my fingers would burn. I would say to myself that this flame is nothing compared to the fire of Hell.
The girl left the masjid and reached home, calming her parents fears as to what had happened to her. She also confided in her mother that she wanted to marry the custodian of the mosque near their house. She related the nights events to her parents and said that only such a man with true fear of Allah in his heart can be true to his wife. Only such a man who truly fears Allah can fulfill a wifes rights properly.
Hence the poor custodian of the mosque earned the daughter of a rich household in marriage. He received this honor not because of his looks but because of his character. Everything disintegrates and turns to dust but character remains strong. Honor is not bestowed because of handsome clothes or beautiful jewelry but because of what is in the heart. Knowledge is only beneficial when it is captured within the heart, and not merely written in books
Very Beautiful, MashaAllah
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(http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ltf7i07NQv1qzjoq1o1_500.jpg)
:)
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“A virtuous wife is a man’s best treasure.”
- Prophet Muhammad (PBUH)
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(http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lz5wj8ci911rp8ytzo1_500.jpg)
<3
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A woman’s du’a for her future husband
O Allah! Please grant me the one Who will be the garment for my soul who will satisfy half of my deen and in doing so make me whole make him righteous and on your path in all he’ll do and say. And sprinkle water on me at Fajr reminding me to pray. May he earn from halal sources and spend within his means. May he seek Allah’s guidance always to fulfill all his dreams. May he always refer to Qur’an and the Sunnah as his moral guide. May he thank and appreciate Allah for the woman at his side. May he be conscious of his anger and often fast and pray be charitable and sensitive in every possible way. May he honor and protect me and guide me in this life. And please Allah! Make me worthy to be his loving wife and finally, O Allah! Make him abundant in love and laughter In taqwa and sincerity In striving for the hereafter! May Allah grant all the Muslim sisters with such husbands… Ameen <3
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(http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lzh1tcB42S1qghthno1_500.jpg)
Married or not, must read this Story
“When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.
My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.
That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed -dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….
The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.
So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you.If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.
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Great. I am crying now. :’(
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That was really beautiful Romeesa... and so true. Thank you for sharing. I hope everyone reads. :)
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Thank you for reading, both of you.
Means a lot.
Alpha, I hope your well, InshaAllah. :)
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Hey Romeesa, I'm fine and you? Thanks for asking. :)
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Hey Romeesa, I'm fine and you? Thanks for asking. :)
I am alright. Enjoying last day of freedom. Uni starts tom back again.
Hope all is well from your side ~
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Alhamdulillah. :)
I'm fine. Just on the wait for now. :)
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(http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lxgdo8DrlS1r0cjklo1_500.jpg)
(Y)
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SHORT, HEART TOUCHING LOVE STORY: "Today, I have an elderly patient who is suffering from a severe case of Alzheimer’s. He can rarely remember his own name, and he often forgets where he is and what he said just a few minutes beforehand. But by the stretch of some miracle (perhaps the miracle of love), he remembers who is wife is every morning when she shows up to spend a few hours with him. He usually greets her by saying, “Hello my beautiful Kate"."
Every time someone talks about marriage or any picture in RL etc I remember you Romeesa <3
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SHORT, HEART TOUCHING LOVE STORY: "Today, I have an elderly patient who is suffering from a severe case of Alzheimer’s. He can rarely remember his own name, and he often forgets where he is and what he said just a few minutes beforehand. But by the stretch of some miracle (perhaps the miracle of love), he remembers who is wife is every morning when she shows up to spend a few hours with him. He usually greets her by saying, “Hello my beautiful Kate"."
Every time someone talks about marriage or any picture in RL etc I remember you Romeesa <3
MashaAllah, that's such a sweet and lovely post. <3 :'(
Hahaha, lol. :P
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Indeed it is (:
hehe =D
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Guys. :D Remember me in prayers. ::) All i need is prayers. :D
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Guys. :D Remember me in prayers. ::) All i need is prayers. :D
Of course, how can we forget ? ::)
Lots of prayers and Duas for you!! :D
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVTW-oZm908
I ask everyone who views this page often to watch the full lecture of this video. Funny and beneficial (Y)
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVTW-oZm908
I ask everyone who views this page often to watch the full lecture of this video. Funny and beneficial (Y)
Nice one! (Y)
Funny :P
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVTW-oZm908
I ask everyone who views this page often to watch the full lecture of this video. Funny and beneficial (Y)
This sheikh is funny .. and informative at the same time .. :)
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Didn't know where to put this, but its really beautiful,
A couple made a deal the night of their Nikah to NOT open the door of their room to anybody who comes knocking in the morning for any reason, In the morning the parents of the husband came&knocked on the door, the husband and the wife were looking at each other&as they agreed before , they didn't open the door.
After a while the parents of the bride came knocking at the door... to check on them, the couple were looking at each other , then the bride dropped a tear and started crying , she said :"I cannot keep them knocking¬ open the door, I miss them already"</3
The husband didn't say anything&he let her open the door for her parents.
Years&years passed&the couple had 5 children, the first ones were boys&the 5th was a little girl, when she was born the father was extremely happy that Allah blessed him with her,&he made Aqeeqa for her in grand style, people were so amazed with his joy&his happiness that they asked him, why are you so happy with her more than you were before with her older brothers?
He answered simply:"She is the one who will open the door for me"
Baby girls are the comfort of the eyes of their father
They hold the key to their mothers hearts
Daughters are really unique. They care for their parents even after they are married.
You don't simply hear of daughters abusing their parents.
To all the daughters out there, my sincere dua for you -
"May Allah (swt) make you like Fatima (RA), the daughter of our Beloved Prophet Muhammed (saw)who cared so much for her dear Father. Ameen!
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Didn't know where to put this, but its really beautiful,
A couple made a deal the night of their Nikah to NOT open the door of their room to anybody who comes knocking in the morning for any reason, In the morning the parents of the husband came&knocked on the door, the husband and the wife were looking at each other&as they agreed before , they didn't open the door.
After a while the parents of the bride came knocking at the door... to check on them, the couple were looking at each other , then the bride dropped a tear and started crying , she said :"I cannot keep them knocking¬ open the door, I miss them already"</3
The husband didn't say anything&he let her open the door for her parents.
Years&years passed&the couple had 5 children, the first ones were boys&the 5th was a little girl, when she was born the father was extremely happy that Allah blessed him with her,&he made Aqeeqa for her in grand style, people were so amazed with his joy&his happiness that they asked him, why are you so happy with her more than you were before with her older brothers?
He answered simply:"She is the one who will open the door for me"
Baby girls are the comfort of the eyes of their father
They hold the key to their mothers hearts
Daughters are really unique. They care for their parents even after they are married.
You don't simply hear of daughters abusing their parents.
To all the daughters out there, my sincere dua for you -
"May Allah (swt) make you like Fatima (RA), the daughter of our Beloved Prophet Muhammed (saw)who cared so much for her dear Father. Ameen!
Beautiful story.
JazakaAllah khair for sharing. <3
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(http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l8xdrbnPiy1qcgzw1o1_500.jpg)
:)
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.....If every day of the marriage can mirror the first day of marriage, and every night reflect the first night of marriage, then the marriage will be a euphoric experience on this world....
http://eislaminfo.blogspot.com/2012/01/marriage-keep-spark-of-love-alive.html?m=1
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^Nice lessons. :)
Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) is an epitome role model is every aspect of life, mA. :)
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If only women and men do take those morals and examples seriously, marriages in Islam would be with less problems and divorce cases. Unfortunately, both of them (men actually much more) do use the religion in another form
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Allah says: “It is made lawful for you to have sexual relations with your wives on the night of the fasts. They are clothing for you and you are clothing for them…” [Sûrah al-Baqarah: 187]
Allah chose to use the word “clothing” rather than any other word to describe the special relationship between a man and his wife. Allah made the man clothing for the woman and the woman clothing for the man. The word “clothing” as used in this context is rich with meaning. It would be quite difficult to express in words every subtlety that it conveys. We shall try, however, to consider a few of the ideas that this word expresses.
1. The word “clothing” in its most literal sense is what immediately covers the body with no barrier in between.
2. The word clothing connotes the idea of equality, complementarity, and support of both a psychological and physical nature. The man has his role and the woman has hers. The woman cannot be construed as merely a vehicle to fulfill the man’s desires. She is a human being, equal to the man. Each of them is as clothing to the other in every aspect of life.
3. Clothing implies adornment and beautification. Allah says: “Take your adornment to every mosque.” [Sûrah al-A`raf: 31] A man and woman are an adornment and beautification for each other.
Ibn `Abbâs said: “Indeed, I like to dress up for a woman in the same way as I like it for a woman to dress herself up for me. This is because Allah says: ‘And they have upon you similar rights to those you have upon them in good dealings.’ And I do not like to exact from her every right to which I am entitled, since Allah says: ‘and for the man there is a degree over them’.” [Tafsîr al-Tabarî (1/625)]
Some of this beauty is of a physical kind, for a person sees in the one he truly loves beauty that others do not see.
Some of this beauty is also of an intangible nature. Faithfulness and enduring friendship are a part of faith, as the Prophet (peace be upon him) said.
A woman adorns herself with her husband when she speaks about him to her friends. She can tend to embellish her account, claiming that he loves her so much, honors her so much, and gives her so much… even when the truth is far short of all that.
4. Clothing conveys the meaning of covering and concealment. Allah says: “O children of Adam! We have bestowed upon you clothing to conceal your shame and as an adornment.” [Sûrah al-A`râf: 26]
A husband and wife screen each other from falling into sin by fulfilling one another’s needs in a lawful manner.
Likewise, they conceal from others their intimacy. They do not disclose to others the details of their physical relationship nor the secrets that they share between them nor the little problems that they have with each other. They do not allow the personal life that they share together become the topic of public discourse.
5. Clothing implies cleanliness and purity. This is why Allah commands us saying: “And your clothing, purify it.” [Sûrah al-Mudaththir: 4]
This dispels the notion that some people have that the marital relationship is somehow a “dirty” thing. There are those who disdain even talking to any length about marriage and what it entails in Islam, because of the bad feelings they have about the topic.
Allah made the institution of marriage the practice of the Prophets: “Indeed we sent Prophets before your time and provided for them wives and children.” [Sûrah al-Ra`d: 38]
It was the way of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). He said quite clearly to those of his followers who wanted to become overly ascetic: “By Allah! I am the most God-fearing among you, and yet I both fast and break my fast; I both pray and sleep; and I marry women. Whoever wishes for a way other than my way is not of me.” [Sahîh al-Bukhârî and Sahîh Muslim]
Clothing is something clean and decent and it is nothing to be ashamed of.
6. Clothing is a sign of wealth and self-sufficiency. In marriage, the husband and wife fulfill each others needs. Allah says: “And those who safeguard their private parts, except from their wives and those whom their right hands possess.” [Sûrah al-Mu’minûn: 5-6]
7. Clothing is a pleasure and a delight. Indeed, Allah has made clothing one of the pleasures of Paradise. He says: “Their clothing therein shall be of silk” [Sûrah Fâtir: 33] “And they shall wear therein green garments of fine silk and brocade.” [Sûrah al-Kahf: 31]
Marriage should indeed be a garment of pleasure. It should bring pleasure to the body and to the soul. It should bring about inner balance and alleviate tension and anxiety. Those who are denied this often suffer from depression, worry, and emotional instability.
8. Clothing provides protection, shelter, and warmth. Allah says: “…and He has made for you garments that protect you from the heat and coats of mail that protect you in battle.” [Sûrah al-Nahl: 81]
Allah says about David (peace be upon him): “And we taught him the fashioning of suits of armor to protect you in battle.” [Sûrah al-Anbiyâ’: 80]
The Prophet (peace be upon him), after he bathed, used to sometimes warm himself with his wife `A’ishah. She relates to us: “Sometimes the Prophet (peace be upon him) would bathe after having intercourse and then come to me for warmth. I would hold him to me without having had taken a bath.” [Sunan al-Tirmidhî]
9. Clothing implies peace and tranquility. Allah says: “And we have made the night a clothing.” [Sûrah al-Naba’: 10]
A husband and wife should find in one another peace and tranquility.
This is why the Prophet (peace be upon him) gave his first wife Khadîjah glad tidings of a house in Paradise made of reeds wherein there would be no turmoil or discomfort.
Abû Hurayrah relates the following:
Gabriel came to the Prophet (peace be upon him) and said: “O Messenger of Allah! Khadîjah is bringing a vessel containing broth or food or drink. When she comes to you, greet her with peace on behalf of my Lord and of myself and give her glad tidings of a house in Paradise made of reeds wherein there would be no turmoil or discomfort.” [Sahîh al-Bukhârî and Sahîh Muslim]
Scholars have commented that the reason she was given glad tidings of such a house in Paradise is that her home on Earth was like that. It was not like most other homes wherein shouting was commonplace and arguments were frequent and marital problems were rife.
10. Clothing covers a person’s body, particularly the private areas. In the same way, a wife protects her husband with herself and likewise protects his wealth and children. The husband in turn protects his wife with himself and safeguards her secrets and fulfills her needs.
Allah says: “Righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in their husbands’ absence what Allah would have them guard.” [Sûrah al-Nisâ’: 34]
11. Clothing connotes quality and goodness. Allah says: “Good women are for good men and good men are for good women.” [Sûrah al-Nûr: 26]
12. Clothing conveys the image of something directly touching the skin. It is an intimate bodily contact without any barrier. When the husband and wife have intimate contact, it is as if their bodies take the place of clothing. Symbolically, there is the implication of close proximity and contact throughout their life together.
13. Clothing needs to be kept fresh and clean. It needs to be washed. Likewise the marital relationship between a husband and wife must be refreshed and reinvigorated.
14. Clothing is a personal distinction. Each of us wears his or her own personal clothing. One’s husband or wife has an even greater exclusivity. Allah says: “And those who safeguard their private parts, except from their wives and those whom their right hands possess.” [Sûrah al-Mu’minûn: 5-6]
15. Clothing provides variety. Who among us would be content with only one suit of clothes? Likewise the marital life should provide variety. This is why when the Prophet (peace be upon him) was asked about the limits that Islam imposes upon a husband and wife in their intimate relations, he made it clear that everything between a husband and wife is permitted except for two things: anal sex and sex when the woman is menstruating.
Even then, the Prophet (peace be upon him) informed the husband and wife as to what they could do when she is menstruating. He said: “Engage in everything except sexual intercourse itself.” [Sahîh Muslim]
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Before you marry, do read My Feudal Lord (Tehmina Durrani). It's a true story and has a good lesson to teach. That is, to never marry someone who can never be yours, no matter how much you love him or her because even if love feeds a marriage, it does not keep it alive.
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^Will do if I find it, iA. :D
PS- welcome back, Alf <3 ;D
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Thank you Romeesa. :)
Yeah, do. It will help you be more cautious before you marry a womanizer.
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http://abetterworldharizan.blogspot.com/2012/03/normal-0-false-false-false-en-us-x-none.html
Polygamy. Feel free to comment. Esp. those concerned with marriage, well, everybody is I guess.
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Do ppl get a choice in the wedding cake flavour? >:D
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Do ppl get a choice in the wedding cake flavour? >:D
Not sure. ::)
As for my wedding, nope they don't. >:D
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Not sure. ::)
As for my wedding, nope they don't. >:D
LOL very very evil.... :P Keep the cake for yourself and deprive the guests of dessert >:D >:D
What if it were Baskin Robbins? :P
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LOL very very evil.... :P Keep the cake for yourself and deprive the guests of dessert >:D >:D
What if it were Baskin Robbins? :P
Of course, I'll stuff it in my hubby's mouth. :P Guests can go back home. :P :P
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(http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m11eo6kNpc1r75xe0o1_500.jpg)
Sweet, mA. :)
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Fatima and Asma bint Abu Bakr, who were house wives married to hard working men who were not rich and able to provide servants and slaves to their wives. These wives were the queens of their houses. They ruled their houses and through that they also ruled their husband’s hearts. Never did they complain about their husband’s poverty but adapted to what Allah had decreed for them. And that made them the women of Paradise.
Fatima r.a. the queen of house got a title of ‘The leader of of women in Jannah!’
Fatima’s r.a. two sisters, one after another were married to the richest man of their time, Uthman bin Affan, but this never gave her any inferiority complex, nor did she nag or showed sadness when her father, the Prophet peace be upon him himself, refused to give her a slave for domestic help.
Compare this content and full life with the career oritented, ambitious and educated Muslimahs who chase ‘Dream Careers’.
They leave their house and go to offices to work and serve their boss and are made to believe that if a woman earns on her own she will be the ruler of her own self. But few think from this perspective, that she is suppsoe to be the Queen of ther house and her husband earning and spending for her.
Embracing Islamic way of life means to adapt to the new way of life without nagging or complaining. It is bracing yourself to hardships and solving them with the help of Islam whle bearing with Patience.
When you grow your beard people will let grow dislike towards you and when you raise your trousers above the ankles people will raise their eyebrows. When you cover your self with hijab people will enlist you in the list of backwards. When you leave your haram job you will end up short of money at the end of the month. You will have to cut down even your needful your expenses in many corners of your life. You will have to change your habits and cultivate new ones which may seem hard and odd. Are you ready to do it? And if you show readiness can you sustain it continuously ? Or are you looking for a Luxurious Islam with Paradise on the earth itself ?
“Do men think that they will be left alone on saying ” We believe ” and they will not be tested?…Surah Ankaboot :2
http://xeniagreekmuslimah.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/the-test.jpg?w=640&h=480
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^It's a nice perspective. :) Different from our own but once we understand the main concept; it's beautiful. (Y)
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Interesting stuff -
Awareness of the love-drug syndrome
An interesting study was conducted comparing drug users to people who claimed to be “madly in love”. They found that brain scans showed people who are in the first stages of love and people who are high on cocaine have the same areas of the brain stimulated while looking at a picture of their “beloved”. In other words, being in the first stage of love is similar to being high on drugs! With drugs, you are not in love with the powder itself – you are in love with the feelings that it gives you.
Similarly, the thing that we love is the special attention, the butterflies in the stomach, the acknowledgment that someone cares about us in a special way, looks at us in a special way, thinks about us in a special way – the constant day dreaming about the future and daily scenarios. So it is not that this person is perfect, it is that this person allows us to feel all these emotions which are addictive. In reality we are not in love with the person, we are in love with Love itself.
Being in love with Love explains how some people overlook major faults in their prospective spouse. I knew a practicing sister who wanted to marry someone who had a drug and alcohol problem. This was because in both cases these “faults” were discovered during the first butterfly phase of love and not before. Alhamdulilah, by the qadr of Allah the marriage did not take place, but it was due to circumstances, not because the sister had realised that they were not a suited match.
Awareness of this love-drug syndrome has two major benefits. Firstly, awareness is power and it breeds hope. Once you are aware that it is the feelings you are attached to, realise you can actually get them elsewhere.
These feelings are not specific to this one person; you will get these feelings with your new, more suitable prospective partner – the one that Allah will put into your life at the right time insha Allah. Love clouds your mind and makes you think that you will not find this strong love and passion with anyone else. But this is simply not true. You will find this love to be even stronger and more passionate with the right person (the one that is written for you in the Lahw al Mahfooz).
The second benefit is knowing that just like a drug-user naturally has withdrawal symptoms when they stop, you too will naturally have withdrawal symptoms, and it will be difficult. Getting over someone is emotionally painful so don’t be too hard on yourself, validate your feelings and allow yourself time to heal. Know that this is common – nearly everyone goes through heartache at some point in their lives, and eventually recover with time.
As a side point: It is not a sin to fall in love; it is a natural emotion which the human species depends on! If you did sin in the process then repent to Allah, He is the Most Forgiving, Most Merciful. Love is a powerful emotion, which is why there are boundaries in Islam. If you have fallen outside those boundaries, repent and move on.
http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthread.php?290510-Getting-Over-a-Broken-Heart-The-Islamic-Way