Author Topic: JOKES AND Riddles!!  (Read 151725 times)

Monica

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Re: JOKES!!
« Reply #30 on: May 27, 2009, 09:49:56 am »
hahahahaha!! those r soooooo funny!! especially el sa3ida ones!! ok look at this

mara wa7ed sa3edi 3araf eno el galed moda fa ra7 mashi 3arian!!

Monica

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Re: JOKES!!
« Reply #31 on: May 27, 2009, 09:53:59 am »
Why is the math book so unhappy??
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Because it is full of problems!!

Offline sweetsh

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Re: JOKES!!
« Reply #32 on: May 27, 2009, 10:04:01 am »
Hahaha okay... I will read the rest of the thread later on, because I have to go now, busy day today, take care.

Monica

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Re: JOKES!!
« Reply #33 on: May 27, 2009, 10:06:21 am »
Hahaha okay... I will read the rest of the thread later on, because I have to go now, busy day today, take care.

BYE!! :)

Offline Locke Lamora

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Re: JOKES!!
« Reply #34 on: May 27, 2009, 11:51:47 am »
social and racial discrimination >:( >:( >:(
u either name this thred "Arabic jokes" or post em in english...

Monica

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Re: JOKES!!
« Reply #35 on: May 27, 2009, 01:26:09 pm »
social and racial discrimination >:( >:( >:(
u either name this thred "Arabic jokes" or post em in english...

LOL!! OK WOTEVERR!! i posted ones in english..and when we posted in arabic becuz no one was there!! but then if u got any english post them here..... :) NO DISCRIMINATION DUDE!! :)

Offline ZeroZero82

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Re: JOKES!!
« Reply #36 on: May 27, 2009, 01:38:37 pm »
A smart blond, Santa clause and a pregnant woman were in an elevator. They say a penny on the floor. Who picks it up?
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The pregnant lady. Because the other two aren't real xD

Don't get it in a bad way...it's just a joke  ;D
It's too late for...Roses.

Five finger death punch!

Offline X Abdulrahman X

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Re: JOKES!!
« Reply #37 on: May 27, 2009, 01:43:30 pm »
The funniest blonde jokes :P

-I knew a blonde that was so stupid that.......

*she called me to get my phone number.

*she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate."

*she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.

*she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.

*she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.

*she tried to drown a fish.

*she thought a quarterback was a refund.

*she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.

*she tripped over a cordless phone.

*she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

*she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.

*she studied for a blood test.

*she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.

*when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.

*when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.

*when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home
 
When they talk about me they say I be trippin
What they say about me doesn't make me mad 
I think they hatin cause they see me when I'm rollin
Man I can't help it that they really doin bad  =P

Big cars, Big wheels, Big chains, Big pimpin', Big money, Big Dreams ;-)

Offline X Abdulrahman X

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Re: JOKES!!
« Reply #38 on: May 27, 2009, 01:44:56 pm »
Only three doors

An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.

The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"

The stewardess replied: "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"
When they talk about me they say I be trippin
What they say about me doesn't make me mad 
I think they hatin cause they see me when I'm rollin
Man I can't help it that they really doin bad  =P

Big cars, Big wheels, Big chains, Big pimpin', Big money, Big Dreams ;-)

Monica

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Re: JOKES!!
« Reply #39 on: May 27, 2009, 01:47:08 pm »
haha funny guys!! POST MORE!!

Offline X Abdulrahman X

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Re: JOKES!!
« Reply #40 on: May 27, 2009, 01:48:06 pm »
Quick Blonde Jokes

Q. How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
A. Tell her a joke on Wednesday.

Q. How do you confuse a blonde?
A. You can't, they have always been like that.

Q. A blonde is going to London on a plane. How can you steal her window seat?
A. Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row.

Q. What do twenty blondes standing ear to ear make?
A. A wind tunnel.

Q. How do you confuse a blonde?
A. Put them in a round room and tell them to sit in the corner.

Q. How does a blonde try to kill a fish?
A. She drowns it.

Q. How do you amuse a blonde for hours?
A. Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.

Q. What did the blonde’s left leg say to her right leg?
A. Between the two of us, we can make a lot of money.

Q. How does a blonde part their hair?
A. By doing the splits.

Q. What did the blondes right leg say to the left leg?
A. Nothing, they haven't met!

Q. Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
A. Because that's where your supposed to wash vegetables.

Q. What's a blondes favorite nursery rhyme?
A. Humpme Dumpme.

Q. Why did the blonde like the car with a sunroof?
A. More leg-room!

Q. Why don't blondes use vibrators?
A. They chip their teeth.

Q. How does a blonde like her eggs in the morning?
A. Fertilized.

Q. Why do blondes like tilt steering?
A. More headroom.

Q. Why is a blonde like a doorknob?
A. Because everyone gets a turn.

Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
A. You can only fit 3 fingers in a bowling ball.

Q. What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?
A. The more you bang it, the looser it gets!

Q. What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer?
A. Frosted Flakes.

Q. What do you call a dumb blonde behind a steering wheel?
A. An airbag.

Q. How can you tell a blonde has had a bad day?
A. She has a tampon tucked under her ear and she can't find her pencil.

Q. What does the Bermuda Triangle and a blonde have in common?
A. They both swallowed a lot of semen.

Q. What's the difference between a blonde and an ironing board?
A. Its difficult to open the legs on an ironing board.

Q. How did the blonde burn her nose?
A. Bobbing for chips.

Q. What do you call a zit on a blondes A**?
A. Brain tumor.

Q. Why does a blonde insist on him wearing a condom?
A. So she can have a doggie bag for later.

Q. How would a blonde punctuate the following: "Fun fun fun worry worry worry"
A. Fun period fun period fun no period worry worry worry....

Q. What does a blonde say after multiple orgasms?
A. "Way to go team!"

Q. What do you call a blonde with a runny nose?
A. FULL.

Q. What happened to the blonde tap dancer?
A. She slipped off and fell down the drain.

Q. Why did the deaf blonde sit on the newspaper?
A. So she could lip read.

Q. Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A. You get to park in the handicap zone.

Q. What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
A. Pregnant.

Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a 747?>
A. Not everyone has been in a 747.

Q. What's the difference between butter and a blonde?
A. Butter is difficult to spread.

Q. What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
A. Pull the pin and throw it back.

Q. What do you call it when a blonde dies her hair brunette?
A. Artificial intelligence.

Q. What do you call a blonde standing on her head?
A. A brunette with bad breath.

Q. What do blondes and cow poop have in common?
A. The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.

Q. How does a blond turn on the light after sex?
A. She opens the car door.

Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A. When you smack the mosquito it stops sucking!!

Q. What does a blonde say when you ask her what the last two words of the national anthem are?
A. Play ball!

Q. What do smart blondes and UFO's have in common?
A. You always hear about them but never see them.

Q. Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice?
A. Cause it said concentrate.

Q. What's the difference between a blonde and the Titanic?
A. They know how many went down on the Titanic.

Q. How can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer?
A. The joystick is wet.

Q. Why do blondes wear underwear?
A. To keep their ankles warm.

Q. What is a brunette between two blondes?
A. An interpreter.

Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a brick?
A. The brick doesn't follow you home after you lay it.

Q. Did you hear about the blonde that needed gas money?
A. She sold her car for it..

Q. What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
A. "Are you sure it's mine?"

Q. Why do blondes have bruised belly buttons?
A. Because they have blond boyfriends.

Q. What do blondes and beer bottles have in common?
A. Their both empty from the neck up.

Q. What do you call a blonde with pig tails?
A. A blow job with handlebars.

Q. What do you call a blond with a brain?
A. A golden retriever.

Q. What do you call a blonde in the closet?
A. The 1984 hide and go seek champion.

Q. How can you tell that a blonde sent you a fax?
A. It has a stamp on it.

Q. What do you call a room full of blondes with PMS and yeast infections?
A. A wine and cheese party!

Q. How do you drown a blonde?
A. Put a scratch 'n sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

Q. Hear about the blonde that bought an AM radio?
A. It took her a month to figure out she could play it at night too.

Q. What did the blonde say when she saw the banana peel on the floor?
A. Oh no, I'm going to fall again! 
When they talk about me they say I be trippin
What they say about me doesn't make me mad 
I think they hatin cause they see me when I'm rollin
Man I can't help it that they really doin bad  =P

Big cars, Big wheels, Big chains, Big pimpin', Big money, Big Dreams ;-)

Offline X Abdulrahman X

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Re: JOKES!!
« Reply #41 on: May 27, 2009, 01:50:37 pm »
haha that will take some time :P
i also know alot of dirty jokes but cant post them here theyre reallly good lol  ;D
When they talk about me they say I be trippin
What they say about me doesn't make me mad 
I think they hatin cause they see me when I'm rollin
Man I can't help it that they really doin bad  =P

Big cars, Big wheels, Big chains, Big pimpin', Big money, Big Dreams ;-)

Offline X Abdulrahman X

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Re: JOKES!!
« Reply #42 on: May 27, 2009, 01:51:26 pm »
The Taxi Driver
A priest and a taxi driver both died and went to heaven. St. Peter was at the Pearly gates waiting for them.

'Come with me', said St. Peter to the taxi driver.

The taxi driver did as he was told and followed St. Peter to a mansion. It had anything you could imagine from a bowling alley to an Olympic size pool.

'Wow, thank you', said the taxi driver.

Next, St. Peter led the priest to a rugged old shack with a bunk bed and a little old television set.

'Wait, I think you are a little mixed up', said the priest. 'Shouldn't I be the one who gets the mansion? After all I was a priest, went to church every day, and preached God's word.'

'Yes, that's true. But during your sermons people slept. When the taxi driver drove, everyone prayed!
When they talk about me they say I be trippin
What they say about me doesn't make me mad 
I think they hatin cause they see me when I'm rollin
Man I can't help it that they really doin bad  =P

Big cars, Big wheels, Big chains, Big pimpin', Big money, Big Dreams ;-)

Offline X Abdulrahman X

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Re: JOKES!!
« Reply #43 on: May 27, 2009, 01:53:27 pm »
BEST JOKE EVER XDDDDDDDDD
Two children were sitting outside a clinic. One of them was crying very loudly.
2nd Child: Why are you crying?

1st Child: I came here for a blood test.

2nd Child: So? Are you afraid?

1st Child: No. For the blood test, they cut my finger.

At this, the second one started crying profusely.

The first one was astonished.

1st Child: Why are you crying now?

2nd Child: I came for a urine test !
When they talk about me they say I be trippin
What they say about me doesn't make me mad 
I think they hatin cause they see me when I'm rollin
Man I can't help it that they really doin bad  =P

Big cars, Big wheels, Big chains, Big pimpin', Big money, Big Dreams ;-)

Monica

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Re: JOKES!!
« Reply #44 on: May 27, 2009, 01:55:30 pm »
HAHA!! u know if u post any dirty jokes ull be banned!! u hate blondes dont u?!?!

and i liked b4 the last one!! and the last one!! oh my god!! hahaha!!