Author Topic: JOKES AND Riddles!!  (Read 371301 times)

Offline X Abdulrahman X

  • SF Farseer
  • *******
  • Posts: 4981
  • Reputation: 3826
  • Gender: Male
Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #1980 on: June 04, 2009, 06:15:28 pm »
only got 3 more :D
a lit, 2 p1s chem and phy
i bet chem and phy will be hard, like 6 and 3 :'(
When they talk about me they say I be trippin
What they say about me doesn't make me mad 
I think they hatin cause they see me when I'm rollin
Man I can't help it that they really doin bad  =P

Big cars, Big wheels, Big chains, Big pimpin', Big money, Big Dreams ;-)

Offline X Abdulrahman X

  • SF Farseer
  • *******
  • Posts: 4981
  • Reputation: 3826
  • Gender: Male
Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #1981 on: June 04, 2009, 06:17:26 pm »
someone is very sleepy today Zz
When they talk about me they say I be trippin
What they say about me doesn't make me mad 
I think they hatin cause they see me when I'm rollin
Man I can't help it that they really doin bad  =P

Big cars, Big wheels, Big chains, Big pimpin', Big money, Big Dreams ;-)

Offline sanity_master

  • SF Farseer
  • *******
  • Posts: 3474
  • Reputation: 32003
  • Gender: Male
  • its all comin to an end :(
Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #1982 on: June 04, 2009, 06:18:34 pm »
You dont have additional tomorrow =(

naaaaaah :P :D

Offline sweetsh

  • Retired Adminstrator
  • SF V.I.P
  • ********
  • Posts: 7049
  • Reputation: 65535
  • Gender: Female
  • *Freedom
Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #1983 on: June 04, 2009, 06:19:04 pm »
I dont mind 8)

Offline X Abdulrahman X

  • SF Farseer
  • *******
  • Posts: 4981
  • Reputation: 3826
  • Gender: Male
Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #1984 on: June 04, 2009, 06:20:49 pm »
Got Caught

  A brunette, a redhead and a blonde all work in the same office with the same female boss. Every day, they noticed the boss left work early.

One day, the girls decided that when the boss left, they‘d leave right behind her. After all, she never called or came back, so how was she to know?

The brunette was thrilled to be home early. She did a little gardening and went to bed early.

The redhead was elated to be able to get in a quick workout at her spa before meeting a dinner date.

The blonde was happy, happy, happy to be home, but when she got to her bedroom she heard a muffled noise from inside.

Slowly, quietly, she cracked open the door and was mortified to see her husband in bed with HER BOSS!!! Ever so gently, she closed the door and crept out of her house.

The next day, during their coffee break, the brunette and redhead mentioned leaving early again, and asked the blonde if she was with them.

“NO WAY,“ she exclaimed. “I almost got caught yesterday!“
When they talk about me they say I be trippin
What they say about me doesn't make me mad 
I think they hatin cause they see me when I'm rollin
Man I can't help it that they really doin bad  =P

Big cars, Big wheels, Big chains, Big pimpin', Big money, Big Dreams ;-)

Q80BOY

  • Guest
Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #1985 on: June 04, 2009, 06:22:21 pm »
hehe, i wish i had a blonde wife  :P

Offline X Abdulrahman X

  • SF Farseer
  • *******
  • Posts: 4981
  • Reputation: 3826
  • Gender: Male
Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #1986 on: June 04, 2009, 06:22:59 pm »
Handy Women

  A blonde, wanting to earn some extra money, decided to hire herself out as a “handy-woman“ and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.

“Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch,“ he said, “How much will you charge me?“

The blonde quickly responded, “How about $50?“ The man agreed and told her that the paint and everything she would need were in the garage.

The man‘s wife, hearing the conversation, said to her husband, “Does she realize that our porch goes all the way around the house?“

He responded, “That‘s a bit cynical, isn‘t it?“

The wife replied, “You‘re right. I guess I‘m starting to believe all those ‘dumb blonde‘ jokes we‘ve been getting by e-mail lately.“

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.

“You‘re finished already?“ the husband asked.

“Yes,“ the blonde replied, “and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats.“

Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50.00 and handed it to her.

“And by the way,“ the blonde added, “it‘s not a Porch, it‘s a Lexus.“
When they talk about me they say I be trippin
What they say about me doesn't make me mad 
I think they hatin cause they see me when I'm rollin
Man I can't help it that they really doin bad  =P

Big cars, Big wheels, Big chains, Big pimpin', Big money, Big Dreams ;-)

Offline sweetsh

  • Retired Adminstrator
  • SF V.I.P
  • ********
  • Posts: 7049
  • Reputation: 65535
  • Gender: Female
  • *Freedom
Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #1987 on: June 04, 2009, 06:23:31 pm »
Aboud likes  a blonde girls as it seems so =D
Q80BOY is it because of the joke hahaha?

Offline X Abdulrahman X

  • SF Farseer
  • *******
  • Posts: 4981
  • Reputation: 3826
  • Gender: Male
Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #1988 on: June 04, 2009, 06:27:39 pm »
Abood is very sleepy today, and it is only 8.30
Abood is also hungry
Abood likes this 3rd person talking
and Abood is going to post another good joke, so enjoy peeps :P

Clever Women

  A woman and a man are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold Monday morning. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them is hurt. God works in Mysterious ways.

After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, “So you‘re a man. That‘s interesting. I‘m a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There‘s nothing left, but we‘re unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days“.

Flattered, the man replies, “Oh yes, I agree with you completely, this must be a sign from God!“

The woman continues, “And look at this, here‘s another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn‘t break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune.“ Then she hands the bottle to the man.

The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle and immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.

The man asks, “Aren‘t you having any?“

The woman replies, “No. I think I‘ll just wait for the police.... “
When they talk about me they say I be trippin
What they say about me doesn't make me mad 
I think they hatin cause they see me when I'm rollin
Man I can't help it that they really doin bad  =P

Big cars, Big wheels, Big chains, Big pimpin', Big money, Big Dreams ;-)

Q80BOY

  • Guest
Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #1989 on: June 04, 2009, 06:29:30 pm »
Aboud likes  a blonde girls as it seems so =D
Q80BOY is it because of the joke hahaha?

lol, duuh  :P jk

and gr8 jokes 7amany !!  ;)

Offline Kim

  • here comes trouble!=D
  • SF V.I.P
  • ********
  • Posts: 9835
  • Reputation: 36270
  • Gender: Female
Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #1990 on: June 04, 2009, 06:30:02 pm »
okes Of Mr. Bean



1) BRAIN TUMOR:

Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have a brain tumor.

Mr. Bean: Yesss!!! (jumps in joy)

Doctor: Did you understand what I just told you?

Mr. Bean: Yes of course, do you think I'm dumb?

Doctor: Then why are you so happy?

Mr. Bean: Because that proves that I have a brain!






2) MR. BEAN WHILE IN GRADE SCHOOL:

Teacher: What is 5 plus 4?

Mr. Bean: 9

Teacher: What is 4 plus 5?

Mr. Bean: Are you trying to fool me, you've just twisted the figure, the
answer is 6!!






3) WHILE IN A DRUG STORE:

Mr. Bean: I'd like some vitamins for my grandson.

Clerk: Sir, vitamin A, B or C?

Mr. Bean: Any will do, my grandson doesn't know the alphabet yet!!






4) AT AN ATM MACHINE:

Friend: What are you looking at?

Mr. Bean: I know your PIN no., hee, hee.

Friend: Alright, what is my PIN no. if you saw it?

Mr. Bean: four asterisks (****)!



5) Marriage:

Friend: How many women do you believe must a man marry?

Mr. Bean: 16

Friend: Why?

Mr. Bean: Because the priest says 4 richer, 4 poorer, 4 better and 4worse.


6) CHATTING WITH HIS FRIEND:

Friend: How was the tape you borrowed from me, is it Ok?

Mr. Bean: What do you mean ok, I thought it's a horror film. I didn't see
any picture.

Friend: What tape did you took anyway?

Mr. Bean: Head Cleaner.


7)DEATH OF HIS MOTHER:

Mr. Bean:(crying) the doctor called, Mom's dead.

Friend: condolence, my friend.

(After 2 minutes) Mr. Bean cries even louder

Friend: what now?

Mr. Bean: my sister just called, her mom died too!

8) MR. BEAN ATTENDING A MEETING:

Colleague: Sorry I'm late. I got stuck in an elevator for 4 hrs because of a
power failure.

Mr. Bean: That's alright, me too...I got stuck on the escalator for 3 hrs.


9) Spelling lesson:

Mr. Bean's Son: Dad, what is the spelling of successful.. ..is it one c or
two c?

Mr. Bean: Make it three c to be sure!
After all is said and done, more is said than done.

By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he’s wrong.

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Offline X Abdulrahman X

  • SF Farseer
  • *******
  • Posts: 4981
  • Reputation: 3826
  • Gender: Male
Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #1991 on: June 04, 2009, 06:30:59 pm »
Aboud likes  a blonde girls as it seems so =D
Q80BOY is it because of the joke hahaha?

lol, duuh  :P jk

and gr8 jokes 7amany !!  ;)

thanx  :P
When they talk about me they say I be trippin
What they say about me doesn't make me mad 
I think they hatin cause they see me when I'm rollin
Man I can't help it that they really doin bad  =P

Big cars, Big wheels, Big chains, Big pimpin', Big money, Big Dreams ;-)

Offline Ukhti-R

  • Striving for Jannah
  • Honorary Member
  • SF Overlord
  • *****
  • Posts: 11270
  • Reputation: 65535
Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #1992 on: June 04, 2009, 06:33:41 pm »
my sylabus is closed books 0486/04   and so thts why.. but If we all had the same paper... then why is one open and the other closed?
and why did we do closed books...?

and for ur open book did you guyz have your own notes in ur own books ?
"...And whosoever fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a a way for him to get out (from every difficulty). And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine. And whosoever puts his trust in Allah, then He will suffice him." [65: 2-3]

Offline X Abdulrahman X

  • SF Farseer
  • *******
  • Posts: 4981
  • Reputation: 3826
  • Gender: Male
Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #1993 on: June 04, 2009, 06:35:57 pm »
:P

  A blonde went out to her mail box and looked in, closed the door and went back in the house. A few minutes later she went out and looked in the mail box again.

She did this several times and her neighbour that was watching her said: 'You must be expecting a very important letter today the way you keep looking into your mail box.'

The blonde answered, 'No, I am working on my computer and it keeps telling me that I have mail.'
 
When they talk about me they say I be trippin
What they say about me doesn't make me mad 
I think they hatin cause they see me when I'm rollin
Man I can't help it that they really doin bad  =P

Big cars, Big wheels, Big chains, Big pimpin', Big money, Big Dreams ;-)

Q80BOY

  • Guest
Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #1994 on: June 04, 2009, 06:37:15 pm »
loooooooooooooooooooooooooooool

keep em comming 7amany !! they're making my day  :P