Author Topic: Clean jokes thread!!!  (Read 137481 times)

Offline White Eagle

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #1095 on: November 04, 2010, 06:17:39 am »
My ancestors told me!


White Eagle Here!! :D :D

Offline Master_Key

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #1096 on: November 04, 2010, 06:19:18 am »
My ancestors told me!

haha. tmk let me get to u.

Offline Master_Key

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #1097 on: November 04, 2010, 06:27:44 am »
SIT,.........STUDY,
AND TURN OFF THE....PC...........
.
.
.
.The above stunts have been performed by trained proffesionals
under
controlled enviornments.:P :P
Please dont copy and try this
at home ! :D ;)

Offline White Eagle

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #1098 on: November 04, 2010, 06:49:14 am »
SIT,.........STUDY,
AND TURN OFF THE....PC...........
.
.
.
.The above stunts have been performed by trained proffesionals :P :P :P
under
controlled enviornments.:P :P
Please dont copy and try this
at home ! :D ;)
waa beta kase tu professional bun gaya.


White Eagle Here!! :D :D

Offline SauD~

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #1099 on: November 04, 2010, 09:04:05 am »
ok DON'T TRY AT HOME

Offline [Ash]

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #1100 on: November 08, 2010, 06:55:36 pm »
The Monkey's Grandfather
 
 
 
It's an old story that we read in Class 3 but with a new ending.
A hat-seller who was passing by a forest decided to take a nap under one of the trees, so he left his whole basket of hats by the side. A few hours later, he woke up and realized that all his hats were gone.
He looked up and to his surprise, the tree was full of monkeys and they had taken all his hats.
The hat seller sits down and thinks of how he can get the hats down. While thinking he started to scratch his head. The next moment, the monkeys were doing the same. Next, he took down his own hat, the monkeys did exactly the same. An idea came to his mind*
 
He took his hat and threw it on the floor and the monkeys did that too. So he finally managed to get all his hats back.
Fifty years later, his grandson, Surinder, also became a hat-seller and had heard this monkey story from his grandfather. One day, just like his grandfather, he passed by the same forest. It
was very hot, and he took a nap under the same tree and left the hats on the floor.
He woke up and realized that all his hats were taken by the monkeys on the tree.
He remembered his grandfather' s words, started scratching his head and the monkeys followed.
He took down his hat and fanned himself and again the monkeys followed. Now, very convinced of his grandfather' s idea, Sukhwinder threw his hat on the floor but to his surprise, the monkeys still held on to all the hats.
Then one monkey climbed down the tree, grabbed the hat on the floor, gave him a slap and
Guess!!! Said what???
 
***************
**************
*************
************
***********
**********
*********
********
*******
******
*****
****
***
**
*
 
 
 
"You think only you have a grand father !!!???"

All i Ever Did Was Love...And All You Did Was Lie... Never Understood It.But Never Asked You Why!?!?

Alpha

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #1101 on: November 09, 2010, 03:06:22 am »
Ek Computer Field ki Larki Konsi Gaali Degi?

Saley Infinite Loop,
Dharti pe Undefined Symbol,
Pedaishi Error,...
Virus k Bache,
Bevakoofi ki Hardcopy,
Volatile Aadmi,
Bheja blank CD aur
khana Gigabytes?

Itna marungi ki Dharti se Delete Hokar,

Seedhe jhannam me Display ho Jayega!_

I always LOVE ALL YOUR JOKES.  :D  :D  :D

Thanks Master_Key, Ancestor, Amelia, White Eagle and Ash. You make my day funny. :D
« Last Edit: November 09, 2010, 03:08:18 am by ~Alpha »

Amelia

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #1102 on: November 09, 2010, 05:04:39 am »
I always LOVE ALL YOUR JOKES.  :D  :D  :D

Thanks Master_Key, Ancestor, Amelia, White Eagle and Ash. You make my day funny. :D

You are welcome, Alpha. ;)

Amelia

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #1103 on: November 09, 2010, 05:08:31 am »
There was these 3 guys. They were named Shutup, Manners and Poop. Manners was picking up Poop from school. Shutup got pulled over by a cop. The cop says "Whats your name sir?" "Shutup." "Whats your name?" "Shutup." "Whats your name?" "Shutup." "Wheres your manners boy?" "Over there picking up poop."


(Many of you might know this one, but here you go! ;))A warm letter from a mother to his son To my dear son

Casey, I’m writing to you a few words, if you didn’t get the letter let me know, so I can send you another one, I’m writing very slowly because I know you can’t read so fast. Recently daddy read a statistic that most car accidents occurs close to home, so we quickly left our home and moved to a new apartment, the new apartment is very nice, it has a new wash machine, but I don’t really know how it operates, I put the laundry in the machine, then I pulled the rope hanging from the ceiling to turn it on, and the whole laundry room just disappeared I’m still looking for the users manual. The weather here is very pleasant, last week it only rained twice, both times for 3 days in a row. I’m sending you the sweatshirt you asked, I was told at the post office that it’s very expensive to ship because of the heavy weight of the buttons, so I cut off the buttons and placed in the pocket. Daddy found a nice new job, he has 250 people under him, he mows the lawn at a local cemetery. Your sister Denise had a new baby, I don’t know if it’s a boy or a girl, so I don’t know if you became an uncle or an aunt, but I know that if it’s a girl they plan to name her after grandma, though I found it strange to call a small baby “grandma” Your brother Bob had a situation, he mistakenly locked his car door with the keys inside, so he had to go home by foot to bring a spare set of keys to rescue us from the locked car. From your mom who misses you dearly.
 P.S. I had in mind to also send you some money, but the envelope is already stuck down.



Amelia

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #1104 on: November 09, 2010, 05:19:38 am »
Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0


Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slowdown in the performance of the flower and jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under the Boyfriend 5.0 system.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.9, and installed undesirable programs such as NFL 7.4, NBA 3.2 and NHL 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 also no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate



Offline Master_Key

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #1105 on: November 09, 2010, 12:33:18 pm »
A girl died and her soul was taken to Heaven. God was Shocked to see her heart still beatin....

Girl replied : " I might be dead but my Lover still Lives in my Heart. "

And Thus the Girl was sent to Hell for Over-Acting ! :P

Offline Master_Key

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #1106 on: November 09, 2010, 12:33:57 pm »
Life me chahe kitne b dukh mile gam mile apne ansu beh jane dena unhe rokna mat bcoz
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Ruke hue paani me hi Dengue wale macchar ande dete hain.

Offline Master_Key

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #1107 on: November 09, 2010, 12:35:11 pm »
?1. It's important to have a woman, who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.

2. It's important to have a woman, who can make you laugh.

3. It's important to have a woman, who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you.

4. It's important to have a woman, who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.

5. It's very, very important that these four women do not know each other.

Offline Master_Key

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #1108 on: November 09, 2010, 12:36:12 pm »
next generation will say- Twinkle twinkle little cigar, i just went to ROYAL BAR whiskey rates are up so high so drink bear wid chicken fry.

Offline Master_Key

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #1109 on: November 09, 2010, 12:37:03 pm »
Hey stUdy this, its gona cum in d exam for sure:
Name
Roll No
.Date
Subject

Ab thanx bol kar formality mat dikhao....
Anythin 4 u guys!