Author Topic: Clean jokes thread!!!  (Read 137436 times)

Offline Master_Key

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #855 on: September 11, 2010, 06:47:31 am »
''United we stand ,divided we fall,'' ka hindi version..............................''sangathan me shakti hai,....akele me phat ti hai''......

Offline Master_Key

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #856 on: September 11, 2010, 06:50:25 am »
 A
team f enginers wre requird 2 measre d hite f a flag pole.Dey only had a measurin tape n wre gettin quit frustratd tryin 2 kip d tape along d pole.It kept fallin dwn. A
mathematician comes along, finds out dere prob, n proceeds 2
remove d pole 4m d ground n measure it
easily. Wen he leaves, 1 engineer says 2 d other:... "Just like a
mathematician! We need 2 know d height, n he gives us d length!"

Offline Master_Key

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #857 on: September 11, 2010, 07:00:25 am »
Prince Charles &  Sardarji were having dinner.
Prince said, "Pass the wine you divine".
Sardar thinks "how poetic"
Sardar says, "pass the custard you bastard".

Offline Master_Key

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #858 on: September 11, 2010, 07:01:02 am »
Interviewar: what s ur qualification?
Sardarji : Sir I am Ph.d.
Interviewar : what do u mean by Ph.d?
Sardarji : (smiling) PASSED HIGHSCHOOL with DIFFICULTY....

elemis

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #859 on: September 11, 2010, 11:14:51 am »
If ur ADMIN makes a mistake
It is a NEW IDEA OF FUN
If a page member makes a mistake
It is a Mistake Only and lead to PROBATION OR BANNED,,

You just made a BIG MISTAKE, sonny :P

nid404

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #860 on: September 11, 2010, 11:18:27 am »
LOL  :D

Offline Baladya

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #861 on: September 11, 2010, 11:24:56 am »
where is Kratos and Mony and all the old crazy guys :D?
Looks like i ran out of cool signatures :|

nid404

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #862 on: September 11, 2010, 11:31:55 am »
Mony's gone :(

Offline Master_Key

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #863 on: September 11, 2010, 02:09:54 pm »
You just made a BIG MISTAKE, sonny :P

but it was a joke.

Offline maybeitwastheneighbors

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #864 on: September 11, 2010, 08:25:50 pm »
"Mister, why doesn't this cow have any horns?" asked the young lady from a nearby city. The farmer cocked his head for a moment, then began in a patient tone, "Well, ma'am, cattle can do a powerful lot of damage with horns. Sometimes we keep'em trimmed down with a hacksaw. Other times we can fix up the young 'uns by puttin' a couple drops of acid where their horns would grow in, and that stops 'em cold. Still, there are some breeds of cattle that never grow horns. But the reason this cow don't have no horns, ma'am, is 'cause it's a horse."
doki doki hatter

elemis

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #865 on: September 12, 2010, 04:10:47 am »

Offline Master_Key

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #866 on: September 13, 2010, 02:01:48 pm »
Teacher : define the word LECTURER
Salmaan : LECTURER is a person who has a bad habit of speaking when someone is sleeping....

Offline Master_Key

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #867 on: September 13, 2010, 02:08:05 pm »
Wenevr U Fall Down,
Never Lose Hope,
Gather All YOUR Courage & Strength..
Just Get Up & Say
.
....
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.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"Waiiiterr, ONE MORE VODKA Pleeeaaaase"

nid404

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #868 on: September 13, 2010, 04:03:38 pm »
It was the first day of a school in USA and a new Indian student named Chandrasekhar Subramanian entered the fourth grade.

The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American History.

Who said "Give me Liberty, or give me Death"?

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Chandrasekhar, who had his hand up:

"Patrick Henry, 1775" he said.

"Very good!"

Who said "Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth?"

Again, no response except from Chandrasekhar. "Abraham Lincoln, 1863" said Chandrasekhar.

The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed.

Chandrasekhar, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do."

She heard a loud whisper: "F**k the Indians,"

"Who said that?" she demanded. Chandrasekhar put his hand up.

"General Custer, 1862."

At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm gonna puke."

The teacher glares around and asks "All right! Now, who said that?"

Again, Chandrasekhar says, "Al Gore to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."
Now furious, another student yells, "Oh yeah? Suck this!"

Chandrasekhar jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher, "Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"

Now with almost mob hysteria someone said "You little sh*t. If you say anything else, I'll kill you."

Chandrasekhar frantically yells at the top of his voice, "Michael Jackson to the child witnesses testifying against him- 2004."

The teacher fainted. And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, "Oh sh*t, we're f**ked!"

And Chandrasekhar said quietly,

I think it was George Bush, Iraq, 2007.

:P

elemis

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #869 on: September 13, 2010, 04:09:05 pm »
Nice one. We Indians are cool  8)

But I'm Israeli-Indian.... so I'm even cooler :P