Earl and His Friends
Earl was bragging to his boss one day, “You know, I know
everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone,
and I know them.”
Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, “OK, Earl
how about Tom Cruise?”
“Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it.“
So Earl and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on
Tom Cruise’s door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise, shouts,
“Earl! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in
and join me for lunch!”
Although impressed, Earl’s boss is still skeptical. After
they leave Cruise’s house, he tells Earl that he thinks Earl’s
knowing Cruise was just lucky. “No, no, just name anyone
else,” Earl says.
“President Clinton,” his boss quickly retorts.
“Yes,” Earl says, “I know him, let’s fly out to Washington.”
And off they go. At the White House, Clinton spots Earl on
the tour and motions him and his boss over saying, “Earl,
what a surprise. I was just on my way to a meeting, but you
and your friend come on in and let’s have a cup of coffee
first and catch up.”
Well, the boss is very shaken by now, but still not totally
convinced.
After they leave the White house grounds, he expresses his
doubts to Earl, who again implores him to name anyone
else.
“The Pope,” his boss replies. “Sure!” says Earl. “My folks
are from Poland, and I’ve known the Pope a long time.”
So off they fly to Rome. Earl and his boss are assembled
with the masses in Vatican Square when Earl says, “This
will never work. I can’t catch the Pope’s eye among all
these people. Tell you what: I know all the guards, so let
me just go upstairs and I’ll come out on the balcony with
the Pope.”
And he disappears into the crowd headed toward the
Vatican. Sure enough, half an hour later, Earl emerges with
the Pope on the balcony. But by the time Earl returns, he
finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded
by paramedics.
Working his way to his boss’ side, Earl asks him, “What
happened?”
His boss looks up and says, “I was doing fine until you and
the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me
said, “Who’s that on the balcony with Earl?”
