Author Topic: Clean jokes thread!!!  (Read 137405 times)

Offline $tyli$h Executive

  • Honorary Member
  • SF V.I.P
  • *****
  • Posts: 5070
  • Reputation: 65403
  • Gender: Male
Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #525 on: July 19, 2010, 05:04:34 pm »
+rep nid. :D

nid404

  • Guest
Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #526 on: July 19, 2010, 05:17:40 pm »
lol thanks :P  :D

Pulling Faces
Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprove the child.

Smiling sweetly, she said, "Bobby, when I was a child, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that."

Bobby looked up and replied, "Well, Ms. Smith, you can't say you weren't warned."


Offline I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!

  • SF Farseer
  • *******
  • Posts: 4674
  • Reputation: 55599
  • Gender: Male
Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #527 on: July 19, 2010, 05:25:23 pm »
lol thanks :P  :D

Pulling Faces
Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprove the child.

Smiling sweetly, she said, "Bobby, when I was a child, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that."

Bobby looked up and replied, "Well, Ms. Smith, you can't say you weren't warned."



lol.
If you don't like my driving, then stay off the sidewalk

nid404

  • Guest
Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #528 on: July 19, 2010, 05:30:39 pm »
Why it’s nice to be a dog…

No one expects you to take a bath every day.

Your friends never expect you to pay for lunch, dinner, or anything else for that matter.  ::)

When it’s raining, you can lie around the house all day and never worry about being fired.

If it itches, you can reach it.

And, no matter what itches, no one is offended if you scratch it in
public.

*ahem*  :P

You can wear a fur coat and no one thinks you’re insensitive.

If you grow hair in weird places, no one notices.

You never get in trouble for putting your head in a stranger’s lap  :P

Having big feet is considered an asset.

If you gain weight, it’s someone else’s fault.

No one tells you to wipe your nose because it’s wet.

No matter where you live, you own the place.

Your mate never complains because you whine.

Puppy love can last.
 
;D

Offline I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!

  • SF Farseer
  • *******
  • Posts: 4674
  • Reputation: 55599
  • Gender: Male
Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #529 on: July 19, 2010, 05:32:24 pm »

You never get in trouble for putting your head in a stranger’s lap  :P


Nice. I shall be a dog now. Woof Woof. :D
If you don't like my driving, then stay off the sidewalk

nid404

  • Guest
Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #530 on: July 23, 2010, 12:25:21 pm »
Nice. I shall be a dog now. Woof Woof. :D

Just come back soon :)

Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, a pretty girl asked...,
..."I want to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?"

"Only one kiss per yard, " replied the smirking male clerk.

"That's fine," replied the girl. "I'll take ten yards."

With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk hurriedly measured out and wrapped the cloth, then held it out teasingly.

The girl snapped up the package and pointed to a little old man standing beside her. "Grandpa will pay the bill," she smiled. :P


nid404

  • Guest
Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #531 on: July 23, 2010, 12:34:47 pm »
Dan got a frantic call from his blond girlfriend.
"I've got a problem," she said.

"What's the matter?" he asked.

"Well, I bought this jigsaw puzzle, but it's too hard. None of the pieces fit together, and I can't find any edges."

"What's the picture of?"

"A big rooster."

"All right, " Dan said. "I'll come over and take a look."

The woman led Dan into her kitchen and showed him the puzzle on the table.

"For Pete's sake Buffy," he exclaimed after he saw it. "Put the Corn Flakes back in the box!"


nid404

  • Guest
Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #532 on: July 23, 2010, 12:39:07 pm »
Two children were in a doctor's waiting room. A little girl was softly sobbing.
"Why are you crying?" asked the little boy.

"I'm here for a blood test, and they're going to prick my finger till it bleeds," said the girl.

When he heard this, the little boy started to cry.

"Why are you crying?" asked the girl.

The boy looked at her worriedly and said, "I'm here for a urine test."
 

Offline Heart Hacker

  • SF Addict !!! =D
  • SF Master
  • ******
  • Posts: 1955
  • Reputation: 20400
  • Gender: Male
  • oh no!!
Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #533 on: July 23, 2010, 12:43:47 pm »
haha lol  :D
Hope for the Best .....Expect the Worst ;)

Thank Allah for everything :)

Offline DrEvil

  • The Gifted One!
  • Honorary Member
  • SF Overlord
  • *****
  • Posts: 12625
  • Reputation: 65535
  • Gender: Male
  • Love all, trust a few!
Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #534 on: July 23, 2010, 12:48:21 pm »
Two children were in a doctor's waiting room. A little girl was softly sobbing.
"Why are you crying?" asked the little boy.

"I'm here for a blood test, and they're going to prick my finger till it bleeds," said the girl.

When he heard this, the little boy started to cry.

"Why are you crying?" asked the girl.

The boy looked at her worriedly and said, "I'm here for a urine test."
 


HAHAHAHAHA!!  :D :D :D


“When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.”

Offline Master_Key

  • SF Master
  • ******
  • Posts: 2884
  • Reputation: 65535
  • Gender: Male
Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #535 on: July 23, 2010, 02:36:36 pm »
okay as gg said i m sharing one more stuff, sry to do it in the same topic but i dont think it would b worth creating a new topic 4 this.

NEWTON'S LAW OF STUDIES

A BOOK CONTINUES IN ITS POSITION OF REST OR EATING DUST UNTIL AND UNLESS MID-TERM OR FINAL EXAMS ARE ON!

hope u like it!
« Last Edit: July 24, 2010, 08:40:43 am by master_key »

Offline Master_Key

  • SF Master
  • ******
  • Posts: 2884
  • Reputation: 65535
  • Gender: Male
Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #536 on: July 23, 2010, 02:38:24 pm »
master_key's left and right hand rule

keep ur finger and thumb as flemings left and right hand rule. all lefty write with their left hand but after the above position they would prefer to write with their right hand but they will make any1 else write 4 them.

same 4 righties

nid404

  • Guest
Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #537 on: July 23, 2010, 03:30:28 pm »
 ;D ;D

1.Girl: Will you love me after marriage also?
Boy: This depends on your husband, if he allows me.
2. Doctor: your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping pills.
Wife: When must I give them to him?
Doctor: They are for you.

3. The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch.
At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray,
"Take only one. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

4. What are the three fastest ways of communication?
Three fastest means of communication in the world.
Tele-phone
Tele-vision
Tell-a-woman.
You still want faster?
(Tell her not to tell anyone )

Offline $tyli$h Executive

  • Honorary Member
  • SF V.I.P
  • *****
  • Posts: 5070
  • Reputation: 65403
  • Gender: Male
Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #538 on: July 23, 2010, 03:46:41 pm »
Two children were in a doctor's waiting room. A little girl was softly sobbing.
"Why are you crying?" asked the little boy.

"I'm here for a blood test, and they're going to prick my finger till it bleeds," said the girl.

When he heard this, the little boy started to cry.

"Why are you crying?" asked the girl.

The boy looked at her worriedly and said, "I'm here for a urine test."

LOL! ;D

Don't worry boy. ::)


Offline Arthur Bon Zavi

  • |Sun of Tomorrow... =]|
  • SF V.I.P
  • ********
  • Posts: 5849
  • Reputation: 65041
  • Gender: Male
  • Fiducia in questo uomo ciecamente.
Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #539 on: July 23, 2010, 06:02:55 pm »
good jokes and a humerous poem..........

Continuous efforts matter more than the outcome.
- NU