General Chat NEW! The Student Forums Chatroom > Funnies
Clean jokes thread!!!
Saladin:
--- Quote from: ~Xena~ on July 12, 2010, 06:57:35 am ---A large, well built man visited the vicarage and asked to see the vicar's wife, who was well known for her charity.
As he spoke to her he said in a voice breaking with emotion, 'I'd like to draw your attention to the terrible plight of a poor family in this district. The father is dead, the mother is too ill to work, and the nine children are starving. They are about to be turned out into the cold streets unless someone pays their £400 rent arrears.'
'How frightful!' exclaimed the vicar's wife. 'May I ask who you are?'
The enormous visitor wiped his eyes with his handkerchief and wailed, 'I'm their landlord.'
--- End quote ---
A very nice and most importantly no innuendos!
Freaked12:
The Lawyer (Saurus mendicatus) is an omnipresent species of parasite known only to feast upon the vitality of human beings, and, alternatively, governments or corporations. Its long, fattened evolutionary history has produced in the Lawyer a propensity for an unsavory activity called litigation. Much as regular people rely upon a twisted few to collect bovine sperm samples, most human beings are so understandably averse to litigation as to leave the Lawyer with a lucrative monopoly with his hand up Justice's A**.
Freaked12:
Barney is paedophile ? :P :-[
Freaked12:
A Paris Hilton is an example of what scientists have long theorised would occur once a certain density of Pop Trash was achieved whilst mixing DNA with a peanut, an octopus and a bottle of Ambre Solare. Add the eye of Quasimodo, and the feet of Minnie Mouse into the mix, and hey presto! you've got Paris.
It is known more specifically as an Anti-Cultural Peanut Singularity and occurs as a result of a super massive cloud of Mass Marketed Crap colliding with an equally large cloud of Talentless Orange Bimbo and a peanut's DNA. Some of it's best-known characteristics include the bizarre feeling of having to film every sexual encounter it has, the absolute audacity to even try and co-exist in a human-dominated society as an equal, and the belief that it is morbidly obese and insists on starving itself so much it can disguise itself as a piece of bamboo and subsequently be eaten by a panda. The situation in the Los Angeles area is thought to be an ideal breading group for such a phenomenon. If there is significant total mass, the combined gravitational pull will create an Anti-Cultural Singularity; A cultural and intellectual vacuum from which no worthwhile thought can possibly escape. People are warned that if they encounter or are in a relationship/friendship with a "Paris Hilton", be advised that they cannot act, sing, dance, present, judge or multi-task, yet are very good in "acting" in sex tapes and doing the horizontal "dance" and using her oral skills to impress.
Freaked12:
This is called science the fun way
Navigation
[0] Message Index
[#] Next page
[*] Previous page
Go to full version