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Clean jokes thread!!!
Saladin:
This is supposed to ge a CLEAN jokes thread...
Can we please stop posting the sick jokes.
The Golden Girl =D:
--- Quote from: dodi23 on June 27, 2010, 12:13:16 pm ---There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.
Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."
"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away."
"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."
--- End quote ---
ya 7leelo :'( .. lol :P
I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!:
Yo :P
Hit the fan
A guy is really desperate to take a dump, so he goes into a nearby bar and asks the
bartender where the toilets are. The bartender says, “Go upstairs and it’s the second
door on the right.”
So the guy goes upstairs but can’t find the restrooms anywhere. So when he sees a hole
in the floor and he decides to crap in it.
After relieving himself, of a monster dump, he goes back downstairs and notices that
there’s no one in the bar.
“Hey, Where did everybody go?” He asks the bartender.
The bartender replies, “So, where were you when the sh*t hit the fan?”
I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!:
This is a clean joke!!!
Sex and Travel
1 guy walks up to a really pretty girl at the bar and says, “Hey, babe can I buy you a
drink?”
She says, "Do you like sex?"
The guy says, “Sure! Of course, I like sex.”
Them she asks, “Do you like to travel?”
The guy replies, “Yeah, I love to travel.”
“Well” she says, “Then *censored* off some where else.”
I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!:
Another.
The Winking Problem
A man with a winking problem is applying for a position as a sales rep for a large firm.
The interviewer looks over his application and says,
“This is phenomenal. You've graduated from the best university; your references are
wonderful, and your experience is unparalleled. Normally, we'd hire you without a second
thought. However, a sales rep has a highly visible position, and I’m afraid that your
constant winking will scare off potential customers. I'm sorry.... we can't hire you.”
“But wait,” says the guy. “If I take two aspirin, I'll stop winking!”
”Really? Great! Show me!”
So the applicant reaches into his jacket pocket and begins pulling out all sorts of
condoms: red condoms, blue condoms, ribbed condoms, flavoured condoms; finally, at the
bottom, he finds a packet of aspirin. He tears it open, swallows the pills, and within a
minute stops winking.
“Well,” says the interviewer, “that's all well and good, but this is a respectable company,
and we will NOT have our employees womanising all over the country!”
“Womanising? What do you mean? I'm a happily married man!” Protests the guy. “Well
then, how do you explain all the condoms?”
“Oh,” he sighed. “Have you ever walked into a pharmacy, winking, and asked for aspirin?”
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