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Clean jokes thread!!!
Freaked12:
On this day...
June 18: International Delicious Beverage Day
1264 – The Parliament of Ireland meets at Castledermot in County Kildare, the first definitively known meeting of this Irish legislature. In session, the parliament discusses beer rationing, leprechaun sightings, and whiskey rationing, and also hires St. Patrick to address the rampant snake problem.
1812 – War of 1812: The U.S. Congress declares war on the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland. The British respond by taxing the U.S. tea supply to ridiculous proportions, and ceasing the exporting of cricket and croquet materials to North America.
1887 – The Reinsurance Treaty between Germany and Russia is signed, ending all conflicts between the two nations permanently.
1917 - The first carbonated drink is put on the market. People are unaware of the dangers in Cocaine Cola.
1928 – Aviator Amelia Earhart becomes the first woman to fly in an aircraft across the Atlantic Ocean (she was a passenger; Wilmer Stutz was the pilot and Lou Gordon the mechanic). She also becomes the first woman to nag a pilot in midflight across the Atlantic Ocean.
1983 – Space Shuttle program: STS-7, Astronaut Sally Ride becomes the first American woman in space. She also becomes the first American woman to nag a fellow astronaut in space.
2007 - St. Peter's Basilica is most likely to awaken from its two-year slumber on this day, according to Vatican-sponsored astrological studies. False Popes are currently being prepared to divert its attention and appetite in anticipation of events on the day.
2009 - International Delicious Beverage Day Cancelled Due To European Bovril Famine
Freaked12:
Alright these are little bit racist but (could be taken as a compliment) :P
-How do You kill a Jew without harming him in any way-Toss a coin and watch 2 jews fight over it to death.
-How do You Kill a catholic priest with out harming him in any way, toss a kid and watch them fight and the winner gets to fight Michael Jackson. ;D
How does the Chinese kids in class get so ahead in test scores? They look over white kids’ papers through slanted eyes…you can’t tell they’re cheating.
-What do you call a Jewish football game: To get the quarter back.
-You heard UFO sightings peak around Mexican holidays? Those illegal aliens need to go back to their world.
Freaked12:
Passed by a Moderator.
Servant of Allah
« Sent to: Arsenal<3 on: Today at 12:04:31 AM »
I think they're okay
Freaked12:
GEORGE W. BUSH QOUTES....WILL LIVE LONG IN MEMORY.taken from uncyclopedia
"There is nothing wrong with America that cannot be cured by what is right with America."
~ on America
"War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things. The decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks that nothing is worth war is much worse. The person who has nothing for which he is willing to fight, nothing which is more important than his own personal safety, is a miserable creature and has no chance of being free unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself."
~ on war
"A peace is of the nature of a conquest; for then both parties nobly are subdued, and neither party loser."
~ on peace
"The pundits like to slice and dice our country into red states and blue states: red states for Republicans, blue states for Democrats. But I've got news for them, too. We are one people, all of us pledging allegiance to the stars and stripes, all of us defending the United States of America."
~ on bipartisanship
"Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught."
~ on education
"When you know a thing, to hold that you know it; and when you do not know a thing, to allow that you do not know it – this is knowledge."
~ on knowledge
"We have perhaps a natural fear of ends. We would rather be always on the way than arrive. Given the means, we hang on to them and often forget the ends."
~ on the future
dodi23:
--- Quote from: Arsenal<3 on June 20, 2010, 01:00:44 am ---Alright these are little bit racist but (could be taken as a compliment) :P
-How do You kill a Jew without harming him in any way-Toss a coin and watch 2 jews fight over it to death.
-How do You Kill a catholic priest with out harming him in any way, toss a kid and watch them fight and the winner gets to fight Michael Jackson. ;D
How does the Chinese kids in class get so ahead in test scores? They look over white kids’ papers through slanted eyes…you can’t tell they’re cheating.
-What do you call a Jewish football game: To get the quarter back.
-You heard UFO sightings peak around Mexican holidays? Those illegal aliens need to go back to their world.
--- End quote ---
aresonaaal!!!! nyss ur taking over!!!
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