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Clean jokes thread!!!
Vin:
--- Quote from: Lord Kratos on June 12, 2010, 11:46:03 am ---Want some more ? :P Spread the laughter dude ... :P :P Post some yourself :P :P
--- End quote ---
lol I don't want to simply waste time Googling jokes when we have a whole database here. :P Plus, I guess you might have posted the first 20 pages of websites. :P
dodi23:
lord kratos= awsomeness!!!!
+rep
I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!:
Thanks dodi,heart-hacker and contraentry ;D ;D
Here's another one....
Element: Woman
Symbol: Wo
Discoverer: Adam
Atomic Mass: Accepted as 50 Kg, but varies from 45 Kg to 250 Kg
PHYSICAL PROPERTIES.
1.- Surface usually lined with painted film (in the order of 0-6m to 0-3m).
2.- Boils at nothing, freezes without reason.
3.- Melts if given special treatment.
4.- Bitter if used incorrectly.
5.- Found in various states ranging from non used metal to common ore.
6.- Yields to pressure applied at the correct points.
CHEMICAL PROPERTIES.
1.- Has great affinity for gold, silver, platinum and precious stones
2.- Absorbs large quantities of expensive substances.
3.- May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no reason.
4.- Insoluble in liquids, but alcohol saturation increases activity.
5.- Most powerful income-reducing agent known to man.
COMMON USE.
1.- Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
4.- Useful for general cleaning, scrubbing, washing, rubbing, etc.
TEST.
1.- Pure specimen turns pink when discovered in the natural state.
2.- Turns green when placed next to a better specimen.
HAZARDS.
1.- Highly dangerous except in experienced hands.
2.- Illegal to posses more than one.
I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!:
Here's another... :P :P
Confusing Language - English
1. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
2. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
3. If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
4. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
5. Don't infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
6. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
7. If horrific means horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?
8. Why is it called building when it is already built?
9. If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it success?
10. If you're not supposed to drink and drive, then why do bars have parking lots?
11. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
12. If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?? HUMAN???
13. If working hours are meant for working, then why are you reading this???
I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!:
Manure... :P :P
An old farmer was hauling a load of manure when he was stopped by a state trooper. "You were speeding," the cop said. "I'm going to have to give you a ticket."
"Yep," the farmer said as he watched the trooper shoo away several flies.
"These flies sure are terrible," the trooper complained.
"Yep," the farmer said. "Them are circle flies."
"What's a circle fly?"
"Them flies that circle a horse's tail," answered the farmer. "Them are circle flies."
"You wouldn't be calling me a horse's A**, would you?" the trooper angrily asked.
"Nope, I didn't" the farmer replied. "But you just can't fool them flies."
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