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Clean jokes thread!!!
Master_Key:
3 guys were riding in a car: a hardware technician, a systems analyst, and a programmer. The systems analyst is driving and when they come to a steep hill he finds that the brakes have failed and the car is accelerating out of control.
So, the driver pumps the emergency brake, downshifts the gears, and rubs the wheels' rims against the curb. He finally wrestles the car to a stop. The three climb out and assess the situation.
Hardware tech: "Let's try and fix it. I'll crawl under the car and take a look. "
Systems analyst: "No. I think we should get someone qualified to fix it, a specialist in brakes."
Programmer: "Why don't we just get back in and see if it happens again?"
Master_Key:
An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution. "You don't want to try these techniques at home." "Why not?" asked somebody from the audience. "I watched my wife's routine at breakfast for years," the expert explained. "She made lots of trips between the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets, often carrying a single item at a time. One day I told her, 'Hon, why don't you try carrying several things at once?'" "Did it save time?" the person in the audience asked. "Actually, yes," replied the expert. "It used to take her 20 minutes to make breakfast. Now I do it in seven."
EMO123:
Interviewer:
what is your birth date?
Sardar: 13th October
Which year?
Sardar: Oye bewakoof___ EVERY YEAR
Manager asked sardar at an interview.
Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?
Sardar replyed: -P-O-S-T-B-O- X.
After returning back from a foreign trip, sardar asked his wife,
Do I look like a foreigner?
Wife: No! Why?
Sardar: In London a lady asked me Are you a foreigner?
One tourist from U.S.A. asked Sardar:
Any great man born in this village???
Sardar: no sir, only small Babies!!!
Lecturer: write a note on Gandhi Jayanthi
So Sardar writes, "Gandhi was a great man, but I don't know who is Jayanthi.
When sardar was traveling with his wife in an auto, the driver
adjusted the mirror. Sardar shouted, "You are trying to see my
wife? Sit behind. I will drive.
Interviewer: just imagine you are on the 3rd floor, it caught fire
and how will you escape?
Sardar: it is simple. I will stop my imagination! !!
Sardar: My mobile bill how much?
Call centre girl: sir, just dial 123 to know current bill status
Sardar: Stupid, not CURRENT BILL my MOBILE BILL.
Sardar: I think that girl is deaf..
Friend: How do u know?
Sardar: I told her I Love her, but she said her chappals are new
Friend: I got a brand new Ford IKON for my wife!
Sardar: Wow !!! That's an unbelievable exchange offer!!!
Teacher: Which is the oldest animal in world?
Sardar: ZEBRA
Teacher: How?
Sardar: B'because it is Black & White
Sardar attending an interview in Software Company.
Manager: Do U know MS Office?
Sardar: If U give me the address I will go there sir.
Sardar in airplane going to Bombay .. While it is landing he shouted: " Bombay ... Bombay "
Air hostess said: "B silent."
Sardar: "Ok.. Ombay. Ombay"
Teacher: "What is common between JESUS, KRISHNA , RAM, GANDHI and BUDHA?"
Sardar: "All are born on government holidays...! !!
Sardar: Miss, Did u call to my mobile?
Teacher: Me? No, why?
Sardar: Yesterday I saw in my mobile- 1 Miss Call".
(Had never thought of it)
Sir: What is difference between Orange and Apple?
Sardar: Color of Orange is orange, but color of Apple is not APPLE
Well Dont mind for the sardarji thing
Nobody:
--- Quote from: AboD on June 03, 2011, 07:43:09 pm ---you no care
you no cry
you no love
you no good
you no life? :P
--- End quote ---
Me agree you :D
He no care
he no cry
he no love
he no live :P
$tyli$h Executive:
Taoism:
sh*t happens.
Buddhism:
If sh*t happens, it's not really sh*t.
Islam:
If sh*t happens, it's the will of Allah.
Protestantism:
sh*t happens because you don't work hard enough.
Judaism:
Why does this sh*t always happen to us?
Hinduism:
This sh*t happened before.
Catholicism:
sh*t happens because you're bad.
Hare Krishna:
sh*t happens rama rama.
T.V. Evangelism:
Send more sh*t.
Atheism:
No sh*t.
Jehova's Witness:
Knock knock, sh*t happens.
Hedonism:
There's nothing like a good sh*t happening.
Christian Science:
sh*t happens in your mind.
Agnosticism:
Maybe sh*t happens, maybe it doesn't.
Rastafarianism:
Let's smoke this sh*t.
Existentialism:
What is sh*t anyway?
Stoicism:
This sh*t doesn't bother me.
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