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Clean jokes thread!!!
I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!:
There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.
When asked to define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"
He now writes error messages for Microsoft Corporation.
I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!:
DRUNK CLOCK
Proudly showing off his new apartment to a friend late one night, the drunk led the way to the bedroom, where there was a big brass gong.
"What's that brass gong for?" asked the friend.
"It's not a gong. It's a talking clock," the drunk replied.
"A talking clock? How's it work?"
"Watch this," said the drunk. He took a hammer, gave the gong an ear-shattering pound and waited. Someone on the other side of the wall screamed: "Hey, you jerk. It's 3:00 in the morning!"
I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!:
Badump-Bump
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One cannibal turns to the other and asks, "This taste funny to you?"
How do you keep a jackass in suspense?
I'll let you know tomorrow!!!! :P
I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!:
A Little Perspective Goes a Long Way
A man walks out of a bar and sees a bum panhandling on the corner. The bum says, "Mister, can you spare a dollar?"
The man thinks a minute. Then he asks the bum, "If I give you a dollar, are you going to use it to buy liquor?"
"No," says the bum.
The man then asks, "If I give you a dollar, are you going to use it for gambling?"
Again the bum says, "No."
So the man says to the bum, "Do you mind coming home with me so I can show my wife what happens to someone who doesn't drink or gamble?"
I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!:
Funny Puns and One-Liners
Corduroy pillows are making headlines
Every morning is the dawn of a new error
Dijon vu - the same mustard as before
When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I
What's the definition of a will? (Come on, it's a dead giveaway!)
A backwards poet writes inverse
He had a photographic memory that was never developed
If a clock is hungry does it go back four seconds?
The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large
Acupuncture is a jab well done
Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? He wanted to transcend dental medication
Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion
If you don't pay your exorcist, will you get repossessed?
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana
Without geometry, life is pointless
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