Author Topic: Clean jokes thread!!!  (Read 153326 times)

Amelia

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #1020 on: October 17, 2010, 04:28:03 pm »
I'll do dat!  ;D

Here's another one.
Conversation between Bill Gates and Laloo of Bihari

Gates: Namaskar! you must have heard of Windows.
Laloo: Oh yes! most govt. offices we have the single window clearance concept.

Gates: At home have u installed Windows?
Laloo: I have removed all windows due to increased burgalaries in our house.

Gates(Confused): Then what is the system you operate on?
Laloo: OPERATION? Yes, I had a Hernia operation last month.

Gates(Sweating): Hope the internet is being used a lot in India.
Laloo: Oh Yes! Due to increased mosquito problems many people are sleeping under the net.

Gates: By the year 2010 India should export computer chips.
Laloo: We are already exporting Uncle Chips.

Gates(Feeling very Uneasy): do you regularly use LapTops?
Laloo: My grand-child sleeps on the top of my lap.

Gates(Heavily Sweating): The Chief Minister of Andhra Pradesh knows a lot about RAM and ROM.
Laloo: RUM? Prohibition is being lifted and it will be shortly available in A.P..

Gates(Feeling Dizzy): I would like to take your leave before my system crashes.
Laloo: I have exhausted all my leave.

Gates: I have no energy left, let us go out and have a bite.
Laloo: BITE? I believe in non-violence. I will not bite.

Gates: (System Crashes and Found Missing). "Windows is restarting. Please wait............."

Offline SauD~

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #1021 on: October 17, 2010, 04:42:34 pm »
Nice one lemme have one::::
There were 5 people on plane:George Bush, Obama , Bill gates son , Osama biladen and pilot.......
The plane was abt to crash and there were 4 parachouts...The pilot took one and jump off..
George bush said "I have to save the country Us" and jump with another.
Then Obama said" I'm the only one who could defeat bush"and he also took one and jump off
now only one left Osama said to bill gates son that i'm old u got a life to live.....
Then the son said u take this one and i'll come with the other one....
Osama said how is that possible...???


Son told that george bush took his backpack and jump off. ;)

Amelia

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #1022 on: October 18, 2010, 08:33:15 am »
lol! :D

Amelia

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #1023 on: October 18, 2010, 09:30:56 am »
There were two guys in the Army. One day one of the guys gets a letter from his mother and after reading it becomes very sad. His friend (the other guy) asked him what was wrong. The first guy responded by handing him the letter. So the second guy reads that his friends mother had written that the first guy's girlfriend was in bed with arthritis. "Well" The friend said to the first guy... "That's not so bad..." The first guy turns to him and says "Yea, That's what you think. I know those Ritous boys and Art is the worst one!"

 :D :D

Q. If you are an AMERICAN when you go into the bathroom and you are an AMERICAN when you come out of the bathroom....What are you WHILE you are in the bathroom?
A. EUROPEAN... of course!
;D

Offline SauD~

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #1024 on: October 18, 2010, 11:55:28 am »
I didn't get first one ???....explain :-[

Offline Master_Key

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #1025 on: October 18, 2010, 01:26:57 pm »
Height of respect :-

Hum sirf ye soch kar paper khali de aate hai ki kahin teacher ye na kahen ki..

" Dekho aaj ke bachche ko...bado ko jawab dete hai...."

Sanskar u know....;)

Amelia

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #1026 on: October 18, 2010, 03:33:36 pm »
Height of respect :-

Hum sirf ye soch kar paper khali de aate hai ki kahin teacher ye na kahen ki..

" Dekho aaj ke bachche ko...bado ko jawab dete hai...."

Sanskar u know....;)

Wah! kiya sanskar hai! :D

Height of Hope!
History ka Exam 2min baad hain. Hall main betkar apne haat main pen pakar kar hope karna, "Dude, no worries. Exam postpone ho jayega!" ;D

Height of emotions
Its a heck of a busy morning. You gotta go somewhere. You can't find your car keys. And all of a sudden, your mother-in law falls from the top floor, through a window and crashes on top of your car.

You feel every possible emotion. I guess. ??? :D

Amelia

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #1027 on: October 18, 2010, 03:36:39 pm »
I didn't get first one ???....explain :-[

"There were two guys in the Army. One day one of the guys gets a letter from his mother and after reading it becomes very sad. His friend (the other guy) asked him what was wrong. The first guy responded by handing him the letter. So the second guy reads that his friends mother had written that the first guy's girlfriend was in bed with arthritis. "Well" The friend said to the first guy... "That's not so bad..." The first guy turns to him and says "Yea, That's what you think. I know those Ritous boys and Art is the worst one!"


Lol. The boy aint depressed abt. da fact that she's suffering from arthritis. They think a girl being obsessed about how to improve guys or make them righteous is a more terrible disease!
C'mon, we guls aint so bad, are we? ;)

Offline Master_Key

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #1028 on: October 19, 2010, 01:00:44 pm »
Style of break up :

Macho bought a gift for his Girlfriend.....

GF : What the hell wud I do with this rocket ?

Macho : U wanted stars na ?
Now sit on it and GET LOST....:P

Offline Master_Key

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #1029 on: October 19, 2010, 01:01:52 pm »
Bihari edition of " Johny Johny, Yes Papa.. "

Ramu Ramu..Ka Bapu..?
Panwa khaiyo...? Na Bapu...
Jhut bolwa..? Na Bapu...
Muh kholiyo...? Khwakhh thoooo...

Offline Master_Key

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #1030 on: October 19, 2010, 01:07:14 pm »
MY
brave chilhood history....
i kicked LOIN face...
i pulled TIGERS tail..
i
broke CHEETAHS leg..
.i threw ELEPHANTthen...........

SHOP OWNER THREW me
OUt...

Amelia

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #1031 on: October 19, 2010, 07:04:11 pm »
LOL!! :D  :D

New version of 3 idiots!

Jab question ppr. ho out of control,
Answer sheet ko karke fold...
Answer sheet ko karke fold..
Aeroplane banakar bol..
III WILLLL FAILLLL
Student kiya jaane uski result ka kiya hoga?
Marks milegi ya zero par tie hoga
koi na jaane apne marks ka kiya hoga
Toh gf guma, paisa ura
paisa ura ke bolll
Daddy
All Izzz Welll!!!

Offline The Golden Girl =D

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #1032 on: October 19, 2010, 07:43:42 pm »
What is the difference between America And the flash Memory 























































































---> the B  !!

.  USB    and   USA

I know Lame -__- A dude in my class said it .
Verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest(13:28)

Please, Don't forget to Include GG in your Prayers =D

Offline White Eagle

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #1033 on: October 20, 2010, 01:31:16 pm »
This is the true story of George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi, who was going to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the shed. George opened the door to go turn off the light but saw there were people in the shed in the process of stealing things.

He immediately phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?" and George said no and explained the situation. Then they explained that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be there when available.

George said, "Okay," hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again.

"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I've just shot them all."

Then he hung up. Within five minutes three squad cars, an Armed Response unit, and an ambulance showed up. Of course, the police caught the burglars red-handed.

One of the policemen said to George: "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"

George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"


White Eagle Here!! :D :D

Offline White Eagle

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Re: Clean jokes thread!!!
« Reply #1034 on: October 20, 2010, 01:32:03 pm »
A new pastor was visiting the homes of his parishioners.

At one house it seemed obvious that someone was at home, but no answer came to his repeated knocks at the door. Therefore, he took out a card and wrote "Revelation 3:20" on the back of it and stuck it in the door.

When the offering was processed the following Sunday, he found that his card had been returned. Added to it was this cryptic message, Genesis 3:10."

Reaching for his Bible to check out the citation, he broke up in gales of laughter.

Revelation 3:20 begins "Behold, I stand at the door and knock." Genesis 3:10 reads, "I heard your voice in the garden and I was afraid, for I was naked."


White Eagle Here!! :D :D