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Jokes and stuff...
Lana Wolf:
Divorcing after 45 years an elderly Indian man in Leicester calls his son in New York and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough!"
"Pop, what are you talking about?" The son screams.
"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old man says. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her!"
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like heck they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this."
She calls Leicester immediately, and screams at the old man, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing,DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife.
"Okay", he says, "They're coming for Diwali and paying their own travel fare." !!!!!
Lana Wolf:
10 most stupid questions people usually ask in obvious situations and some equally stupid answers:-
1. At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/friends
Stupid Question:- Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer:- Well,it's so hot, there were no cool cabs so I thought i'd watch some advertisements in the cool comfort of the theatre.
2. In the bus: A fat girl wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet
Stupid Question:- Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:- No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia..... why don't you try again or should i try this time.
3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask
Stupid Question:- Why, why him, of all people.
Answer:- Why?Would it rather have been you?
4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question:- Is the "blah blah blah" dish good
Answer:- No, its teribble and made of adulterated cement.We occasionaly also spit in it.
5. At a family get-together.When some distant aunt meets you after years
Stupid Question:- Munna,Chickoo, you've become so big.
Answer:- Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.
6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask
Stupid Question:- Is the guy you're marrying good?
Answer:- No,he's a miserable wife-beating, insensitive lout...it's just the money.
7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call
Stupid Question:- Sorry. were you sleeping.
Answer:- No. I was playing cricket for India at Sharjah and just when you called Salim Malik was betting with me that Pakistan would win. What do you think?
8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair
Stupid Question:- Hey have you had a haircut?
Answer:- No, its autumn and I'm shedding......
9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth
Stupid Question:- Tell me if it hurts?
Answer:- And while I'm telling you , you tell me if I bite.
10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman asks
Stupid Question:- Oh, so you smoke
Answer:- No, it's a miracle... it was a chalk and now it's in flames!!!
O.T.13.:
nevermind i took it away lol
erase ur last post :P
Lana Wolf:
--- Quote from: O.T.13. on December 24, 2009, 05:14:36 pm ---nevermind i took it away lol
erase ur last post :P
--- End quote ---
lol...why..? :P
O.T.13.:
--- Quote from: teju_777 on December 24, 2009, 05:15:48 pm ---lol...why..? :P
--- End quote ---
cuz it wasnt doing so much for the "guys are better than gals" reputation
okay, definition of marriage: A process in which a man loses her Bachelor's and a woman gains her Master's
more marriage jokes coming up....
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