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Tech Support: 'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop'.
Customer: 'OK'.
Tech Support: 'Did you get a pop-up menu?'.
Customer: 'No'.
Tech Support: 'OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?'
Customer: 'No'.
Tech Support: 'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?'.
Customer: 'Sure. You told me to write 'click' on my desktop and and I wrote 'click''.
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Tech Support: 'OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'Start' button displayed?'
Customer: 'Wow. How can you see my screen from there?'
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Caller: 'I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back again?'.
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Tech support: What kind of computer do you have? Female customer: A white one...
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Customer: "Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out". Tech support: "Have you tried pushing the button? " Customer: "Yes, sure, it's really stuck". Tech support: "That doesn't sound good". Customer: "No .. wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry...."
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Tech support: "Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen". Customer: "Your left or my left? "
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Male customer: "Hello... I can't print". Tech support: "Would you click on "Start" for me and... "Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates, dammit!"
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Customer: "Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it..."
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Male Customer: "I have problems printing in red..." Tech support: "Do you have a color printer?" Customer: "Aaaah.. thank you."
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Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am? Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me ......
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Customer: "My keyboard is not working anymore". Tech support: "Are you sure it's plugged into the back of the computer?" Customer: "Well, I can't get behind the computer". Tech support: "Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back". Customer: "OK". Tech support: "Did the keyboard come with you?" Customer: "Yes". Tech support: "Is there another keyboard?" Customer: "Yes, there's another one here. Ah... that one does work... "
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Customer: "I can't get on the Internet". Tech support: "Are you sure you used the right password?" Customer: "Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it. He just typed five stars. "
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Tech support: "What anti-virus program do you use?" Customer: "Netscape". Tech support: "That's not an anti-virus program". Customer: "Oh, sorry... Internet Explorer".
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Customer: "I have a huge problem. A friend has put a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears. "
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Customer: "I have a problem with my printer". Tech support: "Are you running it under windows?" Customer: "No, my desk is by the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine."