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funny situations..
astarmathsandphysics:
. Your name must be Daisy, because I have the incredible urge to plant you right here!
2. Roses are red, violets are blue, I like spaghetti, let's go *censored*.
3. Your body's name must be Visa, because it's everywhere I want to be.
4. Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?
5. I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bed rock.
6. I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
7. That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you I'd be coming, too.
8. I'd like to screw your brains out, but it appears that someone beat me to it.
9. If you were a new hamburger at McDonald's, you would be McGorgeous.
10. I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big-Breasted Bed Thrasher, have you seen one?
11. Wanna play house? You be the front door and I'll bang you all night long.
12. If you're going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon.
13. Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille nametag.
14. If you were a car, I would wax you and ride you all over town.
15. Excuse me, do you wanna *censored*, or should I apologize.
16. You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
17. Hi, I'm a necrophiliac, how good are you at playing dead?
18. You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.
19. You be the tree, and I'll wrap you like a Koala.
20. Hi my name is _______. Remember it, cause you'll be screaming it all night long.
21. I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap B&B.
22. Want to play conductor? You be the engineer and I'll go choo choo.
23. You must be Jelly, cause jam don't shake like that.
24. The fact that I'm missing my teeth just means that there's more room for your tongue.
25. Hi, my name is Pogo, want to jump on my stick?
astarmathsandphysics:
-Are you a parking ticket? because you've got fine written all over you
-Do you have a sticking plaster? I just scraped my knee falling for you
-If being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged
-My lips are registered weapons. Do you feel lucky?
-I'm not really this tall, I'm standing on my wallet
-When God made you he was showing off
-If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together
-Now before you run off, I'm not a freak
-There must be something wrong with my eyes. I cant take them off you
-You know what? Your eyes are the same colour as my Porsche
-Do you have a map? Because I just keep getting lost in your eyes
-The thing is, you are ugly but you intrigue me
-Do you have any raisins? No? How about a date?
-I must be in heaven because I'm standing next to you
-If you're going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon
-Hey baby, you've got something on your bum....my eyes
-Can I get a picture of you so I can show Santa what I want or Christmas?
-Can you see my pants? Do you want to?
-Are you as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside?
-Are you lost? Because heaven's a long way from here
-Are you religious? Good, because I'm the answer to your prayers
-Would you like to be unique and different? Try saying yes
-Aren't you Tony the Tiger on the frosties' box? because you look grrrreat
-Ten-tonne polar bear...now if that doesn't break the ice, nothing will
-Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?
-Would you take a look at those curves? And here's me with no brakes
-I seem to have lost my phone number - can I have yours?
-Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living?
-Don't go in that building. The sprinklers will go off
-I'm choking! I need mouth to mouth quick
-Hey, you were great on Baywatch last night
-Good news. The test results have come back negative
-Do you like to dance? Well then, could you go dance so I can talk to your friend?
-Hi. I'm Mr Right. Someone said you might have been looking for me
-You've been a bad, bad girl. Now go to my room!
-Aren't we supposed to get together for a candlelit dinner later tonight?
-Hello, Cupid called. He says to tell you he needs my heart back
-Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?
-Is your name Gillette? because you're the best a man can get
-Know what I like best about you, baby? You haven't CS gassed me yet
-Hi, my name is Fred Flintstone and I'm gonna make your bedrock!
-That's a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?
-Somebody better call God because he must be missing an angel
-If you were a new burger at McDonald's, you would be a McGorgeous
And the best put-downs:-
-Can I buy you a drink?
Actually, I'd rather have the money
-Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?
Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice
-How did you get to be so beautiful?
I must have been given your share
-Hey baby, what's your sign?
Do not enter!
-If I could see you naked, I'd die happy
If I saw you naked, I'd die laughing
Q80BOY:
omg atsar !! :o
lol are u trying these out on saturday nights ..? ;) :P
AS girl:
funny...i guess he is trying them lool
astarmathsandphysics:
I have tried some of them out. I think it depends on how you say it. After all Hitler talked rubbish but he mannaged to fool 70 million Germans.
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