Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not. - Mark Twain
Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers. - Homer Simpson
He who laughs last didn't get it.
You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'. -Homer Simpson
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. - Robert Bloch
There is a place you can touch a woman that will drive her crazy. Her heart. - Melanie Griffith
I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them. - George Bush
Remember: Don't Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river.
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
He's so lazy that if there were work in bed, he would rather sleep on the floor. - Paddy O'Dea
"Press any key to continue, where's the any key?" - Homer
Oh, yeah, what are you gonna do? Release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark, they shoot bees at you? - Homer
