Author Topic: JOKES AND Riddles!!  (Read 326311 times)

Offline X Abdulrahman X

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #2040 on: June 05, 2009, 08:04:18 am »
One morning the husband leaves for work and the blonde gets up. She's determined to prove to her husband that blondes arn't dumb, by painting the kitchen.

When her husband gets home he says to his wife "Honey why do you have 3 coats on?"

The blonde says, "Well the directions on the paint said to use three coats for best results."
When they talk about me they say I be trippin
What they say about me doesn't make me mad 
I think they hatin cause they see me when I'm rollin
Man I can't help it that they really doin bad  =P

Big cars, Big wheels, Big chains, Big pimpin', Big money, Big Dreams ;-)

Offline X Abdulrahman X

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #2041 on: June 05, 2009, 08:05:37 am »
One day a blonde walks into a car shop. She looks around to see if she can find the perfect car for herself.

She finds a beautiful car with fine leather, but as she bends over to feel it she lets out a fart!

She looks around to see if anyone noticed, but as she turns she sees the sales guy is behind her so she askes him "How much is this car"

He replies back "Miss, If you farted just by touching the leather you're going to sh*t yourself when hear the price
When they talk about me they say I be trippin
What they say about me doesn't make me mad 
I think they hatin cause they see me when I'm rollin
Man I can't help it that they really doin bad  =P

Big cars, Big wheels, Big chains, Big pimpin', Big money, Big Dreams ;-)

Offline sanity_master

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #2042 on: June 05, 2009, 08:06:09 am »
hahahahahahahahhahahaha..........................lol


+ rep for the 1st one :D llol

Offline X Abdulrahman X

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #2043 on: June 05, 2009, 08:07:18 am »
hahah :P

A blonde and a brunett where on ther way to heaven and the brunette asked the blonde "how did you die" ?

The blonde said "I had a heart attack, how about you"

And the brunette says "I froze to death, what caused your heart attack"

The blonde said "It started when I came home from work and I saw a womans car in the drive way"

"I rushed in to the house and asked my husband where are you hiding her"

"He said hiding who, but I started looking around the house, I was so angry I dropped to the floor."

Finally the brunette says "Damn!! If you had just looked in the freezer we'd both have lived.
When they talk about me they say I be trippin
What they say about me doesn't make me mad 
I think they hatin cause they see me when I'm rollin
Man I can't help it that they really doin bad  =P

Big cars, Big wheels, Big chains, Big pimpin', Big money, Big Dreams ;-)

Offline X Abdulrahman X

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #2044 on: June 05, 2009, 08:08:51 am »
There are three moms. .

A Brunette, a Redhead, and a Blonde.

They were all talking one day and the brunette says "Oh my gosh y'all I went through my daughter's purse the other day to get some gum, and I found an ounce of weed. I cannot believe she smokes weed"

They comfort her, and the redhead says "Yeah, well I found a fake I. D. In my daughter's purse. I cannot believe she has one". So they all comfort her.

Then the blonde says "That's nothing. I found a condom in my daughter's purse. I just cannot believe she has a penis"

I know its a lil rude but funny hehe
When they talk about me they say I be trippin
What they say about me doesn't make me mad 
I think they hatin cause they see me when I'm rollin
Man I can't help it that they really doin bad  =P

Big cars, Big wheels, Big chains, Big pimpin', Big money, Big Dreams ;-)

Offline AS girl

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #2045 on: June 05, 2009, 08:15:57 am »
hahah :P

A blonde and a brunett where on ther way to heaven and the brunette asked the blonde "how did you die" ?

The blonde said "I had a heart attack, how about you"

And the brunette says "I froze to death, what caused your heart attack"

The blonde said "It started when I came home from work and I saw a womans car in the drive way"

"I rushed in to the house and asked my husband where are you hiding her"

"He said hiding who, but I started looking around the house, I was so angry I dropped to the floor."

Finally the brunette says "Damn!! If you had just looked in the freezer we'd both have lived.


funny lool  ;D
If i fall along the way pick me up and dust me off...and if i get too tired to make it..be my breath so i can walk!!

Offline X Abdulrahman X

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #2046 on: June 05, 2009, 08:18:11 am »
Shopping for a Husband

A store that sells husbands has just opened where a woman may go to choose a husband from among many men. The store is composed of 6 floors, and the men increase in positive attributes as the shopper ascends the flights.

There is, however, a catch. As you open the door to any floor you may choose a man from that floor, but if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down except to exit the building.

So a woman goes to the shopping center to find a husband.

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men have jobs.

The woman reads the sign and says to herself, "Well, that's better than my last boyfriend, but I wonder what's further up?" So up she goes.

The second floor sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.

The woman remarks to herself, "That's great, but I wonder what's further up?" And up she goes again.

The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking.

"Hmmm, better" she says. "But I wonder what's upstairs?"

The fourth floor sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking and help with the housework.

"Wow!" exclaims the woman, "very tempting. BUT, there must be more further up!" And again she heads up another flight.

The fifth floor sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak.

"Oh, mercy me! But just think... what must be awaiting me further on?" So up to the sixth floor she goes.

The sixth floor sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 6,875,953,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.
When they talk about me they say I be trippin
What they say about me doesn't make me mad 
I think they hatin cause they see me when I'm rollin
Man I can't help it that they really doin bad  =P

Big cars, Big wheels, Big chains, Big pimpin', Big money, Big Dreams ;-)

Offline X Abdulrahman X

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #2047 on: June 05, 2009, 08:20:13 am »
I Don't Think So!

Kate was standing in the kitchen cooking dinner.

Her husband Paul was in the living room drinking a beer and watching the game.

"Honey, you need to come in here and fix the fridge. The door is broke and if you don't fix it the food will go bad." Kate said.

Paul yells back, "Who do I look like the GE man, I Don't think so."

A little while later Kate says, "Honey, you need to fix the hall light, it's out."

"Who do I look like an electrician, I don't think so, " Paul says.

A few minutes later Kate says, "Honey, you need to fix the porch step before someone gets hurt on it."

Paul quickly replies, "Who do I look like a carpenter, I don't think so."

Frustrated, he gets up and leaves.

He decides to go to a bar down the road.

After the game was over, he began to feel slightly guilty for the way he treated his wife so he went on home.

He comes up the porch and realizes that the step is fixed.

He walked into the house and noticed that the hall light was fixed.

He walked into the kitchen to get a cold beer and noticed that the fridge was fixed.

Paul sees his wife and says, "Babe, how did you fix all this."

She looked at him and said, "Well after you left I began to cry on the porch.

A fine young man walked past and noticed I was crying and he asked me what he could do to help.

He fixed everything.

I asked him what I could do for payment.

He said I could either bake him a cake or sleep with him."

Paul says, "Well, what kind of cake did you bake him?"

Kate looks at him and replies, "Who do I look like Betty Crocker, I don't think so!"  :P
When they talk about me they say I be trippin
What they say about me doesn't make me mad 
I think they hatin cause they see me when I'm rollin
Man I can't help it that they really doin bad  =P

Big cars, Big wheels, Big chains, Big pimpin', Big money, Big Dreams ;-)

Offline X Abdulrahman X

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #2048 on: June 05, 2009, 08:23:33 am »
A young woman said to her doctor, "You have to help me, I hurt all over."

"What do you mean?" said the doctor.

The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, "Ow, that hurts." Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled, "Ouch! That hurts, too." Then she touched her right earlobe. "Ow, even THAT hurts."

The doctor asked the woman, "Are you a natural blonde?"

"Why yes," she said.

"I thought so," said the doctor... "You have a sprained finger."

Enough jokes for now, ill let u read em first :P
When they talk about me they say I be trippin
What they say about me doesn't make me mad 
I think they hatin cause they see me when I'm rollin
Man I can't help it that they really doin bad  =P

Big cars, Big wheels, Big chains, Big pimpin', Big money, Big Dreams ;-)

Offline sanity_master

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #2049 on: June 05, 2009, 08:27:15 am »
ppl r -repping me cuz im trying to organise the topics!....

they try to cheat, i lock topics and warn them.....and they -rep me! :(

Offline X Abdulrahman X

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #2050 on: June 05, 2009, 08:29:20 am »
ppl r -repping me cuz im trying to organise the topics!....

they try to cheat, i lock topics and warn them.....and they -rep me! :(

+rep then :D
When they talk about me they say I be trippin
What they say about me doesn't make me mad 
I think they hatin cause they see me when I'm rollin
Man I can't help it that they really doin bad  =P

Big cars, Big wheels, Big chains, Big pimpin', Big money, Big Dreams ;-)

Offline AS girl

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #2051 on: June 05, 2009, 08:30:27 am »
Shopping for a Husband

A store that sells husbands has just opened where a woman may go to choose a husband from among many men. The store is composed of 6 floors, and the men increase in positive attributes as the shopper ascends the flights.

There is, however, a catch. As you open the door to any floor you may choose a man from that floor, but if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down except to exit the building.

So a woman goes to the shopping center to find a husband.

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men have jobs.

The woman reads the sign and says to herself, "Well, that's better than my last boyfriend, but I wonder what's further up?" So up she goes.

The second floor sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.

The woman remarks to herself, "That's great, but I wonder what's further up?" And up she goes again.

The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking.

"Hmmm, better" she says. "But I wonder what's upstairs?"

The fourth floor sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking and help with the housework.

"Wow!" exclaims the woman, "very tempting. BUT, there must be more further up!" And again she heads up another flight.

The fifth floor sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak.

"Oh, mercy me! But just think... what must be awaiting me further on?" So up to the sixth floor she goes.

The sixth floor sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 6,875,953,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.

funny but true sometimes!! We are easy to please!!hahahaha
If i fall along the way pick me up and dust me off...and if i get too tired to make it..be my breath so i can walk!!

Offline ZeroZero82

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #2052 on: June 05, 2009, 08:31:14 am »
+rep :)
It's too late for...Roses.

Five finger death punch!

Offline sanity_master

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #2053 on: June 05, 2009, 08:54:45 am »
Thanks guys :)

Offline Ukhti-R

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #2054 on: June 05, 2009, 08:57:11 am »
hey peeps ... ;D

wot up ?
"...And whosoever fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a a way for him to get out (from every difficulty). And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine. And whosoever puts his trust in Allah, then He will suffice him." [65: 2-3]