Author Topic: JOKES AND Riddles!!  (Read 326004 times)

Offline Q80BOY

  • SF Veteran
  • SF Master
  • ******
  • Posts: 1818
  • Reputation: 14345
  • Gender: Male
    • The Avenues Blog
Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #5025 on: June 04, 2010, 11:48:19 am »
great stuff Lord!!!  ;D
Read my blog @ www.avenuesq8.wordpress.com

and follow me on twitter @ www.twitter.com/Q80BOY

Offline I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!

  • SF Farseer
  • *******
  • Posts: 4674
  • Reputation: 55599
  • Gender: Male
Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #5026 on: June 04, 2010, 12:03:05 pm »
Thank you Q80BOY ;D. Long time no see. :)
If you don't like my driving, then stay off the sidewalk

Offline Chosen Dude

  • SF Immigrant
  • **
  • Posts: 111
  • Reputation: 137
  • Gender: Male
Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #5027 on: June 04, 2010, 05:56:51 pm »
Hey guys  :), heres one:

                                    Rodney the rooster
This farmer has a bunch of hens that are not producing many
eggs. So one morning he goes out and buys a young horny rooster
in an effort to get his hens back into an egg laying mood.
He names him Rodney. Well that first day Rodney lays every hen
on the farm and at the end of the day the farmer finds Rodney
trying to make it with his horse. The farmer walks over to Rodney
and says "You've gotta slow down or you're going to kill yourself!"

The next day Rodney lays every hen again, and at the end of
the day the farmer finds the rooster now trying to make it
with his cow. The farmer walks over to Rodney and says "I told you, you better slow down or you're going to kill yourself."

The following morning Rodney lays every hen again, but this time,
he lays all the other farm animals as well. The farmer finds
all his animals passed out from exhaustion.

In the middle of all his animals is Rodney, laying with his legs
sticking straight up in the air and buzzards circling over head.
The farmer walks up to Rodney and says "See, I told you if you
didn't slow down, you'd kill yourself." Rodney opens one eye,
looks at the farmer and says, "Shhh, buzzards."
I am convinced all of humanity is born with more gifts than we know.  Most are born geniuses and just get de-geniused rapidly.  ~Buckminster Fuller

Offline I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!

  • SF Farseer
  • *******
  • Posts: 4674
  • Reputation: 55599
  • Gender: Male
Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #5028 on: June 04, 2010, 07:40:21 pm »
All of you guys will be killed by me. :P   I'll make sure ur death painless :P :P

                                               EL TORO ::)             

A big Texan stopped at a local restaurant following a day roaming around in Mexico.
While sipping his tequila, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table. Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful. He asked the waiter, 'What is that you just served?'

The waiter replied, 'Ah senor, you have excellent taste! Those are called Cojones de Toro, bull's testicles from the bull fight this morning. A delicacy!'

The cowboy said, 'What the heck, bring me an order.'

The waiter replied, 'I am so sorry senor. There is only one serving per day because there is only one bull fight each morning. If you come early and place your order, we will be sure to save you this delicacy.'

The next morning, the cowboy returned, placed his order, and that evening was served the one and only special delicacy of the day. After a few bites, inspecting his platter, he called to the waiter and said, 'These are delicious, but they are much, much smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday.'

The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied, 'Si,Senor. Sometimes the bull wins.'


                           
If you don't like my driving, then stay off the sidewalk

Offline I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!

  • SF Farseer
  • *******
  • Posts: 4674
  • Reputation: 55599
  • Gender: Male
Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #5029 on: June 04, 2010, 07:45:51 pm »
For the ladies. :P

                                                    THE MULE ::)


An old hillbilly farmer had a wife who nagged him unmercifully. From morning till night (and sometimes later), she was always complaining about something. The only time he got any relief was when he was out plowing with his old mule. He tried to plow a lot.

One day, when he was out plowing, his wife brought him lunch in the field. He drove the old mule into the shade, sat down on a stump, and began to eat his lunch. Immediately, his wife began haranguing him again. Complain, nag, nag; it just went on and on.

All of a sudden, the old mule lashed out with both hind feet; caught her smack in the back of the head. Killed her dead on the spot.

At the funeral several days later, the minister noticed something rather odd, when a woman mourner would approach the old farmer, he would listen for a minute, then nod his head in agreement; but when a man mourner approached him, he would listen for a minute, then shake his head in disagreement. This was so consistent, the minister decided to ask the old farmer about it.

So after the funeral, the minister spoke to the old farmer, and asked him why he nodded his head and agreed with the women, but always shook his head and disagreed with all the men.
The old farmer said: "Well, the women would come up and say something about how nice my wife looked, or how pretty her dress was, so I'd nod my head in agreement."

"And what about the men?" the minister asked. "They wanted to know if the mule was for sale.
If you don't like my driving, then stay off the sidewalk

Offline SGVaibhav

  • SF Farseer
  • *******
  • Posts: 3013
  • Reputation: 5737
  • Gender: Male
  • Bugatti Veyron 16.4
Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #5030 on: June 04, 2010, 09:49:16 pm »
Here's another one. :) But its not for the kids. You have been warned!!!! :P

                                  
You are sick mate.

Post modified- ~A.F~
i wonder what's this....

Offline Meticulous

  • SF Master
  • ******
  • Posts: 2486
  • Reputation: 19401
Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #5031 on: June 04, 2010, 11:10:28 pm »
Don't.

Offline I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!

  • SF Farseer
  • *******
  • Posts: 4674
  • Reputation: 55599
  • Gender: Male
Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #5032 on: June 05, 2010, 05:24:08 am »
Come on dude it wasn't that bad. There are some better ones which have been already posted here and were not modified.

If you don't like my driving, then stay off the sidewalk

elemis

  • Guest
Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #5033 on: June 05, 2010, 07:38:11 am »
Drop it Kratos, dont get into a fight, it wont do any good.  SHow me a link to the joke and let me see if it was truly THAT bad.

elemis

  • Guest
Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #5034 on: June 05, 2010, 07:41:26 am »
Did you read the joke that was deleted?

No, that's why I want to see the URL to the joke so I can determine if AF was justified in deleting it.

elemis

  • Guest
Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #5035 on: June 05, 2010, 07:43:52 am »

elemis

  • Guest
Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #5036 on: June 05, 2010, 07:47:43 am »
I'm still waiting ::)

Offline WARRIOR

  • SF Master
  • ******
  • Posts: 1473
  • Reputation: 51196
  • Egyptian And so damn proud . I love you jesus!
Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #5037 on: June 05, 2010, 07:49:50 am »
For the ladies. :P

                                                    THE MULE ::)


An old hillbilly farmer had a wife who nagged him unmercifully. From morning till night (and sometimes later), she was always complaining about something. The only time he got any relief was when he was out plowing with his old mule. He tried to plow a lot.

One day, when he was out plowing, his wife brought him lunch in the field. He drove the old mule into the shade, sat down on a stump, and began to eat his lunch. Immediately, his wife began haranguing him again. Complain, nag, nag; it just went on and on.

All of a sudden, the old mule lashed out with both hind feet; caught her smack in the back of the head. Killed her dead on the spot.

At the funeral several days later, the minister noticed something rather odd, when a woman mourner would approach the old farmer, he would listen for a minute, then nod his head in agreement; but when a man mourner approached him, he would listen for a minute, then shake his head in disagreement. This was so consistent, the minister decided to ask the old farmer about it.

So after the funeral, the minister spoke to the old farmer, and asked him why he nodded his head and agreed with the women, but always shook his head and disagreed with all the men.
The old farmer said: "Well, the women would come up and say something about how nice my wife looked, or how pretty her dress was, so I'd nod my head in agreement."

"And what about the men?" the minister asked. "They wanted to know if the mule was for sale.
loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool
NO secrets to SUCCESS , it is the result of 1.HARD WORK 2.GOOD PREPARATION 3.LEARNING FROM FAILURE
But it ain't how hard you hit; it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward-Balboa

nid404

  • Guest
Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #5038 on: June 05, 2010, 07:55:34 am »
I'm still waiting ::)

You're supposed to be studying >:(

Not reading perverted jokes >:(

Kratos, you're not pming sh*t to him....get that  >:(

elemis

  • Guest
Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #5039 on: June 05, 2010, 07:56:08 am »
To all moderators


The issue regarding the deletion of Kratos's joke by AF has been resolved. The matter is over.