Author Topic: JOKES AND Riddles!!  (Read 326003 times)

Offline I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!

  • SF Farseer
  • *******
  • Posts: 4674
  • Reputation: 55599
  • Gender: Male
Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #4875 on: May 30, 2010, 02:01:00 pm »
No offence alright? Its meant to be a joke!!! ::) :P


A woman was walking down the street with her boob hanging out her top a man comes up and says sorry to tell you this but your boob is hangin out and she cries 'ohh no i have left the baby on the bus'
If you don't like my driving, then stay off the sidewalk

Offline I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!

  • SF Farseer
  • *******
  • Posts: 4674
  • Reputation: 55599
  • Gender: Male
Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #4876 on: May 30, 2010, 02:04:17 pm »
There were three people one blonde headed, orange and green headed.
They went to the bar to get a drink. The blond headed asked for a drink but the bartender said only if you tell me how your hair got that hair colour . He said its natural.

 The orange head dude came and said can i have a drink of water but the bartender said only if you tell me how you got that hair colour and he said i dyed it.

Then the green head dude asked for a drink and the bartender said only if you tell me how you got that hair colour and he rubbed his noise and stroked his hair and said i don't know.
If you don't like my driving, then stay off the sidewalk

Offline I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!

  • SF Farseer
  • *******
  • Posts: 4674
  • Reputation: 55599
  • Gender: Male
Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #4877 on: May 30, 2010, 02:06:01 pm »
Another... No offence ::) :P


A man, who smelled like a distillery, flopped down on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and
began reading.

After a few minutes the disheveled man turned to the priest and said, "Say, Father, what causes arthritis?"
"Mister, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap wicked women, too much alcohol, and a contempt for your fellow man."

"Well, I'll be damned," the drunk muttered, returning to his paper.
The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized.
"I'm very sorry, I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?"
"I don't have it, Father. I was just reading that the Pope does."
If you don't like my driving, then stay off the sidewalk

Offline I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!

  • SF Farseer
  • *******
  • Posts: 4674
  • Reputation: 55599
  • Gender: Male
Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #4878 on: May 30, 2010, 02:09:24 pm »
Another one about adam and eve...woo woo :P :P

Sometimes women are overly suspicious of their husbands. When Adam stayed out very late for a few nights, Eve became upset.
"You're running around with other women," she charged.
"You're being unreasonable," Adam responded. "You're the only woman on earth."
The quarrel continued until Adam fell asleep, only to be awakened by someone poking him in the chest. It was Eve.
"What do you think you're doing?" Adam demanded.
"Counting your ribs!"
If you don't like my driving, then stay off the sidewalk

Offline I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!

  • SF Farseer
  • *******
  • Posts: 4674
  • Reputation: 55599
  • Gender: Male
Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #4879 on: May 30, 2010, 02:12:28 pm »
Another one!!!! 8) 8)

There are four people in the carriage of a train - an Englishman, a pretty young blonde girl, an ugly old woman and a Frenchman.

 It all goes dark when the train goes through a tunnel. In the dark there's the sound of an almighty slap, and when the train emerges from the tunnel the Frenchman is rubbing his face, and there's a huge red mark on his cheek.
 The old lady thinks "I bet that Frenchman fondled the blonde in the dark and she slapped him" The pretty young blonde thinks "I bet the Frenchman tried to fondle me in the dark, got the old lady by mistake, and she hit him" The Frenchman thinks "I bet that Englishman fondled the blonde in the dark, but the blonde thought it was me and hit me"

The Englishman thinks "I hope there's another tunnel coming up soon so I can slap that French tw@t again"
If you don't like my driving, then stay off the sidewalk

Offline I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!

  • SF Farseer
  • *******
  • Posts: 4674
  • Reputation: 55599
  • Gender: Male
Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #4880 on: May 30, 2010, 02:15:23 pm »
This one's awesome!!!! ;D



Aman walks into a bar and spots a beautiful woman sat on her own.
 He aproaches her and offers a drink and the woman accepts.
 While talking about each other the woman claims she is 54, the man is amazed and thinks wow she looks quite hot.
 They get on so well the woman ask's him if he has ever had a mother daughter threesome, with a grin on his face he says nope and the woman kindly offers to fullful that missing part in his life .

As they approach the bottom of the woman's stairway at her house the man is disgusted when his date shouts up the stairs " MUM ARE YOU STILL AWAKE? "
If you don't like my driving, then stay off the sidewalk

holtadit

  • Guest
Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #4881 on: May 30, 2010, 02:31:04 pm »
I pity you. You are such a loner :P


Offline The Golden Girl =D

  • Without Allah I'm nothing <3
  • Honorary Member
  • SF Overlord
  • *****
  • Posts: 13757
  • Reputation: 65532
  • Ain't Nothin worth your tears =D
    • www.thegoldengirl157.blogspot.com
Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #4882 on: May 30, 2010, 02:33:53 pm »
I pity you. You are such a loner :P



ARI  .wth?! ... i'm readin his jokes but i simply don't reply !

Verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest(13:28)

Please, Don't forget to Include GG in your Prayers =D

Offline I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!

  • SF Farseer
  • *******
  • Posts: 4674
  • Reputation: 55599
  • Gender: Male
Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #4883 on: May 30, 2010, 02:36:04 pm »
Thank U Golden girl!!!!! ;D ;D ;D
If you don't like my driving, then stay off the sidewalk

Offline The Golden Girl =D

  • Without Allah I'm nothing <3
  • Honorary Member
  • SF Overlord
  • *****
  • Posts: 13757
  • Reputation: 65532
  • Ain't Nothin worth your tears =D
    • www.thegoldengirl157.blogspot.com
Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #4884 on: May 30, 2010, 02:36:21 pm »
Verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest(13:28)

Please, Don't forget to Include GG in your Prayers =D

Offline unknown 101

  • SF Joker
  • SF Master
  • ******
  • Posts: 1660
  • Reputation: 5946
  • Gender: Male
  • FEELING GREATER THAN EVERR :D
Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #4885 on: May 30, 2010, 02:47:48 pm »
This one's awesome!!!! ;D



Aman walks into a bar and spots a beautiful woman sat on her own.
 He aproaches her and offers a drink and the woman accepts.
 While talking about each other the woman claims she is 54, the man is amazed and thinks wow she looks quite hot.
 They get on so well the woman ask's him if he has ever had a mother daughter threesome, with a grin on his face he says nope and the woman kindly offers to fullful that missing part in his life .

As they approach the bottom of the woman's stairway at her house the man is disgusted when his date shouts up the stairs " MUM ARE YOU STILL AWAKE? "

hahahahaha, nice one

check out this site, ur gonna lagh ur brains out!!!!!
http://comixed.com/

Monica

  • Guest
Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #4886 on: May 30, 2010, 03:45:49 pm »
No offence alright? Its meant to be a joke!!! ::) :P


A woman was walking down the street with her boob hanging out her top a man comes up and says sorry to tell you this but your boob is hangin out and she cries 'ohh no i have left the baby on the bus'

hahahahaha! GOSH DUDE! YOU ARE A P.E.R.V.E.R.T. All your jokes are over-rated.  ::) ::)  :P

Offline I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!

  • SF Farseer
  • *******
  • Posts: 4674
  • Reputation: 55599
  • Gender: Male
Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #4887 on: May 30, 2010, 03:49:22 pm »
Nope I am a guy!!!! ;) ;)

Believe me, Freud says If u don't have these types of feelings at this age then U are abnormal!!!! :P :P
You should go visit a pyschiatrist!!!! ::) ::) :P :P
If you don't like my driving, then stay off the sidewalk

Monica

  • Guest
Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #4888 on: May 30, 2010, 04:11:25 pm »
That was a lie dude. Just some crap scientific excuse.

Sheesh on guys these days. It wasn't the same in the old days and my dad was never like that I am sure.  :P

Offline I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!

  • SF Farseer
  • *******
  • Posts: 4674
  • Reputation: 55599
  • Gender: Male
Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #4889 on: May 30, 2010, 04:12:40 pm »
That was a lie dude. Just some crap scientific excuse.

Sheesh on guys these days. It wasn't the same in the old days and my dad was never like that I am sure.  :P

SO  u were born as a test tube baby huh? ::) :P :P
If you don't like my driving, then stay off the sidewalk