Author Topic: JOKES AND Riddles!!  (Read 328075 times)

Offline SGVaibhav

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #4740 on: May 23, 2010, 07:56:23 pm »
a blond went to a shop
she told the guy she wanted to buy that toaster he responded sorry i dont sell to blonds
she dyed her hair blue and went again
she told the guy she wanted to buy that toaster agian he said i dont sell to blonds
she dyed her hair red and went again
she told the guy she wanted to buy that toaster and agin he said i dont sell to blonds
she shaved her head and went again
the guy answered back in the same way again
she then finally asked him how did you know i am a blond i have no hair
because this is not a toaster its an oven

HAHHHAHAHHAHAH    IDIOT!

Offline Baladya

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #4741 on: May 23, 2010, 08:29:19 pm »
Hey u girls where talking about that's its easy to understand u, well thats not what my IGCSE literature book says:

He never learned her, quite. Year after year
That territory, without seasons, shifted
under his eye. An hour he could be lost
in the walled anger of her quarried hurt
on turning, see cool water laughing where
the day before there were stones in her voice.
He charted. She made wilderness again.
Roads disappeared. The map was never true.
Wind brough him rain sometimes, tasting of sea -
and suddenly she would change the shape of shores
faultlessly calm. All, all was each day new:
the shadows of her love shortened or grew
like trees seen from an unexpected hill,
new country at each jaunty helpless journey.
So he accepted that geography, constantly strange.
Wondered. Stayed home increasingly to find
his way among the landscapes of her mind.


Its a nice poem so i just wanted to share it :P I'm not really sure, but through the little times i've dealt with women, i can  say that yes, its hard to understand them ;D
Looks like i ran out of cool signatures :|

Offline The Golden Girl =D

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #4742 on: May 24, 2010, 08:21:02 am »
Hey u girls where talking about that's its easy to understand u, well thats not what my IGCSE literature book says:

He never learned her, quite. Year after year
That territory, without seasons, shifted
under his eye. An hour he could be lost
in the walled anger of her quarried hurt
on turning, see cool water laughing where
the day before there were stones in her voice.
He charted. She made wilderness again.
Roads disappeared. The map was never true.
Wind brough him rain sometimes, tasting of sea -
and suddenly she would change the shape of shores
faultlessly calm. All, all was each day new:
the shadows of her love shortened or grew
like trees seen from an unexpected hill,
new country at each jaunty helpless journey.
So he accepted that geography, constantly strange.
Wondered. Stayed home increasingly to find
his way among the landscapes of her mind.


Its a nice poem so i just wanted to share it :P I'm not really sure, but through the little times i've dealt with women, i can  say that yes, its hard to understand them ;D


u guys r hilarious  :D :D :D
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Please, Don't forget to Include GG in your Prayers =D

Offline WARRIOR

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #4743 on: May 24, 2010, 10:54:42 am »
An  idiot ordered pizza from pizza hut in the shop

So the waiter asks him: do you want me to cut into 8 slices or 16 slices?

he says : no 16 is too much i cant eat all that. cut it into 8 slices please :)



2 idiots wanted to steal stuff in a building . So they decided that they will steal the building and run with it far away so they can rip the place out comfortably and take their time. So they went at night and removed their clothes and started pushing  the building. A guy came from behind and stole their clothes. 5 mintus later one of the idiots looks back and doesnt find his clothes and he says : man we went too far i think this is enough!


A  guy travelled abroad and as soon as he reached the airport he got a message : COME BACK HOME RIGHT NOW AS SOON AS YOU CAN . THIS IS AN EMERGENCY . So he took the first plane home and  he met his brother at the airport he looked like a disaster and was extremely sad and had very very very long beard ( goatie ) .So the guy asks his brother?? whats wrong !! did something happened to my dad??? So brother doesnt asnwer adn takes hiim to the car ad there he meets his other brother and he too looks like a disaster and has long beat and goati. So the guy asks his brother whats wrong !! did somethin happen to my dad?? Brother doesnt asnwer and when they rached home he met his other brother !! he too look like a disaster and has long beard ( goatie ) and he asks him whats wrong ?? did osmethin happen to my dad??? So he takes him to the room  and finds his dad on the bed sleeping and he too looks like a disaster and has very very very long beard !! So he wakes him up and  ANSWER ME DAD WHATS WRONG? ARE U DYING??
















HIS DAD SAYS : hey did you take the shaving machine with  you ??

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Offline dodi23

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #4744 on: May 24, 2010, 12:08:09 pm »
HAHAHAHAHAHA @the last 1 :D :D :D
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Offline Nobody

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #4745 on: May 24, 2010, 12:18:04 pm »
HAHAHAHAHAHA @the last 1 :D :D :D

ya.. really nice ..

and dodi12, i am really sorry if i have offended you in earlier jokes..really sorry. I said a joke about womens. :-X :-[
The most beautiful thing is to see a person smiling!
And even more beautiful is, knowing that you are the reason behind it.

Offline I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #4746 on: May 24, 2010, 03:37:23 pm »
post some jokes guys, I'm bored :(
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Offline theone

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #4747 on: May 24, 2010, 03:47:13 pm »
again another blong joke

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
if you wanna get somewhere in life do something about it dont just leave it up to luck!!!!!!!

Offline I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #4748 on: May 24, 2010, 03:47:46 pm »
Alright, since nobody's posting.... here's one :P


                                             Five dollars gas :P
I went into the Shell gas station this morning and asked for five dollars worth of gas. The clerk farted and gave me a receipt.
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Offline theone

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #4749 on: May 24, 2010, 03:48:48 pm »
A blonde keeps walking down her drive to her mail box.

She keeps doing this until her neighbour asks her why she is doing that.

The blonde replies "My computer keeps telling me that i've got mail".

 blond jokes r da best!!
if you wanna get somewhere in life do something about it dont just leave it up to luck!!!!!!!

Offline theone

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #4750 on: May 24, 2010, 03:51:29 pm »
Did you hear about the blonde that...
Couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a slope.

Got excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said "2 to 4 years"

Couldn't call 911 because there was no 11 on any phone button.

When asked what the capital of California was; answered "C".

Baked a turkey for 3 days because the instructions said 1 hour per pound and she weighed 125.

After losing in a breaststroke swimming competition, complained that the other swimmers were using their arms.
 
if you wanna get somewhere in life do something about it dont just leave it up to luck!!!!!!!

Offline ksitna

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #4751 on: May 24, 2010, 03:52:21 pm »
post some jokes guys, I'm bored :(



okie...

Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist. If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for five years.

The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board looking over an empty swimming pool, and asks the first patient to jump.

The first patient jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms.

Then the second patient jumps and breaks both legs.

The third patient looks over the side and refuses to jump. "Congratulations! You're a free man. Just tell me why didn't you jump?" asked the doctor.

To which the third patient answered, "Well Doc, I can't swim!"

take whatever you want and give nothing back :)

Offline I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #4752 on: May 24, 2010, 03:52:58 pm »
another :P

What’s the only animal with an a**hole in the middle of its back?
A police horse.
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Offline ksitna

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #4753 on: May 24, 2010, 03:53:36 pm »
loll guys :D
take whatever you want and give nothing back :)

Offline I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!

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Re: JOKES AND Riddles!!
« Reply #4754 on: May 24, 2010, 03:54:38 pm »
Did you hear about the blonde that...
Couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a slope.

Got excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said "2 to 4 years"

Couldn't call 911 because there was no 11 on any phone button.

When asked what the capital of California was; answered "C".

Baked a turkey for 3 days because the instructions said 1 hour per pound and she weighed 125.

After losing in a breaststroke swimming competition, complained that the other swimmers were using their arms.
 


ha haaa haaa...... :D
hilarious.... ;D

especially the last one. :P
If you don't like my driving, then stay off the sidewalk