General Chat NEW! The Student Forums Chatroom > Funnies
JOKES AND Riddles!!
WARRIOR:
here are some egyptian jokes :P ( took them off google )
A Japanese tourist hailed a taxi in downtown Cairo and asked to be taken to the Airport.
On the way, a car zoomed by and the tourist responded, "Ohhh! TOYOTA!! Made in Japan!! Very fast!"
Not too long afterward, another car flew by the taxi.
"Ohh! NISSAN!! Made in Japan!! Very fast!"
Yet another car zipped by, and the tourist said, "Ohh! Mitsubishi!! Made in Japan!! Very fast!"
The taxi driver was starting to get a little miffed that the Japanese made cars were passing his Fiat, when yet another car passed the taxi as they were turning into the airport.
"Ohh! Honda!! Made in Japan!! Very fast!"
The taxi driver stopped the car, pointed to the meter, and said, "That'll be LE 250."
"LE 250? It was so short a ride! Why so much?"
"Taxi meter. Made in Egypt. Very fast."
Another one:
There was a tour bus in Egypt that stopped in the middle of a town square. The tourists are all shopping at the little stands surrounding the square.
One tourist looks at his watch, but it is broken, so he leans over to a local who is squatted down next to his cow.
"What time is it, sir?"
The local reaches out and softly cups the cow's udder in his hand, and raises it up and down.
"It's about 2:00", he says.
The tourist can't believe what he just saw. He runs back to the bus, and sure enough, it is 2:00. He tells a few of the fellow tourists his story, "The man can tell the time by the weight of his cow`s udder!"
One of the doubting tourists walks back to the local and asks him the time, the same thing happens! It is 2:05.p.m. He runs back to tell the story.
Finally, the bus driver wants to know how it is done. He walks over and asks the local how he knows the time from the cow`s udder.
The local says "Sit down here and grab the cow`s udder."
"Now, lift it up in the air. Now, look underneath it to the other side of the courtyard, where that clock is hanging on the wall."
More:
In Cairo a florist goes to the barber for a haircut and when he goes to pay, the barber says `
'I can't accept any money, I am doing a community service.
The florist is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the Barber goes
to open his shop, there is a Thank you Card and a dozen roses waiting at his door.
A baker goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber and the barber replies:
'I am Sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I am doing a Community Service'.
The baker is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop,
there is a Thank you Card and a carton of Baklava waiting at his door.
A Saidi farmer (man from Upper Egypt) goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the Barber and the barber replies:
'I am Sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I am doing a Community Service'.
The Saidi guy of course is very happy and leaves the shop.
The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, he finds a dozen Saidis waiting for a haircut .
WARRIOR:
The Vicar is Buying a ParrotVicar Buys Parrot - Short Joke
'Now, you're sure it doesn't scream, yell, or swear?' he inquired.
'Oh absolutely. It's a religious parrot,' the storekeeper assures him. 'Do you see those strings on his legs? When you pull the right one, he recites the Lord's Prayer, and when you pull on the left he recites the 23rd Psalm.'
'Brilliant. Wonderful!' grins the Vicar, 'but what happens if I pull both strings?'
'I fall off my perch, you twit!' screeches the parrot.
Customer Bowled Over by Service
A car mechanic received a repair order that said to check for a clanking noise when going around corners so he took the car out for a test drive and made a right turn, then a left turn, each time hearing a loud clunk.
When he arrived back at the garage he returned the car to the service manager with this note: 'Removed bowling ball from trunk.'
The T.V. is No Joke
I got in a fight with my wife last night and it was totally my fault.
She asked me what was on the TV and I said: dust.
Didn't go too well after that.
theone:
--- Quote from: lord kratos on May 25, 2010, 11:59:46 pm ---Here's another one :P
GENDER DIFFERENCES
Little Johnny comes home from school with a note from his teacher, indicating that "Johnny seems to be having some difficulty with the differences between boys and girls," and would his mother "...please sit down and have a talk with Johnny about this."
So, Johnny’s mother takes him quietly by the hand upstairs to her bedroom, and closes the door. "First Johnny, I want you to take off my blouse..." So he unbuttons her blouse and takes it off.
"OK, now take off my skirt..." And he takes off her skirt.
"Now, take off my bra..." Which he does.
"And now, Johnny, please take off my panties..."
And when Johnny finishes removing these, she says, "Johnny, PLEASE don’t wear any of my clothes to school any more!
What were you thinking?
--- End quote ---
haha lol i dont think i was thinkin rite
guMnam:
--- Quote from: lord kratos on May 25, 2010, 11:59:46 pm ---Here's another one :P
GENDER DIFFERENCES
Little Johnny comes home from school with a note from his teacher, indicating that "Johnny seems to be having some difficulty with the differences between boys and girls," and would his mother "...please sit down and have a talk with Johnny about this."
So, Johnny’s mother takes him quietly by the hand upstairs to her bedroom, and closes the door. "First Johnny, I want you to take off my blouse..." So he unbuttons her blouse and takes it off.
"OK, now take off my skirt..." And he takes off her skirt.
"Now, take off my bra..." Which he does.
"And now, Johnny, please take off my panties..."
And when Johnny finishes removing these, she says, "Johnny, PLEASE don’t wear any of my clothes to school any more!
What were you thinking?
--- End quote ---
hahaha lol....cool mom :P
Nobody:
Once a man goes to the zoo, he sees that all the animals in the zoo were laughing only the a donkey does not laugh.
So on the other day when he again comes to the zoo, he says that the donkey was laughing and all the other animals were not, and when he asked one of the animals he replied that we were telling a joke, and he understood the joke today.
Navigation
[0] Message Index
[#] Next page
[*] Previous page
Go to full version