General Chat NEW! The Student Forums Chatroom > Funnies
JOKES AND Riddles!!
I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!:
--- Quote from: ksitna on May 24, 2010, 03:52:21 pm ---
okie...
Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist. If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for five years.
The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board looking over an empty swimming pool, and asks the first patient to jump.
The first patient jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms.
Then the second patient jumps and breaks both legs.
The third patient looks over the side and refuses to jump. "Congratulations! You're a free man. Just tell me why didn't you jump?" asked the doctor.
To which the third patient answered, "Well Doc, I can't swim!"
--- End quote ---
haaa haaaaaa haaaaaaa :P
nice one ksitna ;)
thank u guys!! ;D
I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!:
Another one :P
whatcha doin?
eating chocolate
where'd you get it?
the doggy dropped it..
where's the doggy?
behind the door :)
whats he doin?
makin more!
BILLY PUT THAT DOWN!!!!!!
I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!:
another 8)
A hot young woman walks into a bar in her apartment complex.
She goes over to the bar table, and the bartender comes over to see her. May I help you, he says. Yes, actually.
The bartender is a tall man with a long, full beard. Have you seen the landlord recently,? She says. As she asks him, she reaches up and begins to stroke and carress his beard.
The man is shy and very nervous to be having a girl touching him. No, he says very shyly. Oh, well, if you do see him, I’d like you to tell him something for me.
She continued to carress his beard. What’s that, he asks, still very nervous. She comes up very close to his face and says, tell him……….there's no toilet paper in the woman bathroom.
theone:
New Lawyer
Joe grew up in a small town, then moved away to attend college and law school. He decided to come back to the small town because he could be a big man in this small town. He really wanted to impress everyone. He opened his new law office, but business was very slow at first. One day, he saw a man coming up the sidewalk. He decided to make a big impression on this new client when he arrived.
As the man came to the door, Joe picked up the phone. He motioned the man in, all the while talking..
"No. Absolutely not. You tell those clowns in New York that I won't settle this case for less than one million.."
"Yes. The Appeals Court has agreed to hear that case next week. I'll be handling the primary argument and the other members of my team will provide support.."
"Okay. Tell the DA that I'll meet with him next week to discuss the details.."
This sort of thing went on for almost 5 minutes. All the while the man sat patiently as Joe rattled instructions. Finally, Joe put down the phone and turned to the man. "I'm sorry for the delay, but as you can see, I'm very busy.
What can I do for you?"
The man replied "I'm from the phone company..I came to hook up your phone."
lawyer jokes this time
immortal:
3 men where at the FBI Building for a job interview.
The first man walked into the office . The interviewing FBI agent said "To be in
the FBI you must be loyal, dedicated, and give us your all. Your wife is in the
next room. I want you to go in there and shoot her with this gun." The man took
the gun, hesitated, and said "Sorry, I can't do it."
The next interviewee came into the office. The Agent said "To be in the FBI you
must be loyal, dedicated, and give us your all. Your wife is in the next room.I
want you to go in there and shoot her with this gun." The man took the gun,
walked into the room, then walked out. "Sorry," he said.
The last man came into the office. The inverviewer said "To be in the FBI you
must be loyal, dedicated, and give us your all. Your wife is in the next room. I
want you to go in there and shoot her with this gun." The man took the gun and
went into the room. The Agent heard 6 shots, silence, then a lot of screaming.
The man came out of the room and said "Someone loaded the gun with blanks, so I
beat her to death with the curtain railing!"
Navigation
[0] Message Index
[#] Next page
[*] Previous page
Go to full version