Author Topic: ~ Non-Veiled Wanna Be Veiled Muslimah? ~  (Read 5757 times)

Offline Romeesa-Chan

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~ Non-Veiled Wanna Be Veiled Muslimah? ~
« on: August 08, 2011, 10:37:19 pm »


A question and an answer from a blog regarding the Hijab.

I am turning sixteen in a few months and I’ve really started thinking about hijab. I know it’s fardh, but there are 3 things standing in my way to wearing it.

I’m worried that:

1. the hijab would make it harder for me to get married. I know that sounds so stupid but deep down inside, it’s one of the major reasons I haven’t put it on yet.

2. The hijab will stand in my way of getting a job. I’ve always been an A+ student, but I know that when it comes to the workforce, it’s not only our grades that matter. Looking different may really affect my chances of getting a good job.

3. Most of all, I’m worried of how non-Muslims and some Muslims will react. You know, the discrimination, the ‘verbal abuse’, the ‘stare’, the ‘looks’, the ‘questions’.

The thing is, I am a really shy girl. I don’ think I would be able to handle all that. Besides, I don’t want to put it on and then just take it off. So I don’t know. A friend of mine suggested that I wait till I get married, but ….

Please tell me what to do.

-The non veiled wanna be veiled Muslimah


Dear Non-veiled wanna be Veiled Muslimah,

First off, sista! Congrats on ‘almost turning 16’. May Allah bless you with many more years to draw nearer and nearer to Him! Ameen, Ya Rubb. :) You know, you’re really the cutest thing ever! Because you admitted the 3 MAJOR reasons most of us girls are wary of hijab. I know, many of us won’t admit it, but those 3 reasons are the Mount Everest’s standing in our way of putting it on. But because you took the BIG step and admitted to yourself the things you’re afraid, you’ve made it all that easier to deal with. Now we just have to tackle these little fears one by one, okay?


So let's get right into it...Wouldn't wearing hijab make it harder for you to find a man?

I think the question you need to ask yourself is "What kind of man do I want to marry? What kind of father do I want for my children?" (Alright, those are 2 questions, but whatever…more to come, lol. Yes, there are some men who will be put off by hijaab, but are these really the kind of men you want to marry? Do you want to marry a person who looks for his spouse by the style of her hair and her looks? Do you want to marry a person who isn't strong enough in his faith to be looking for women who are strong enough in their faith to wear hijaab?

The truth is, I would be worried if you did marry someone who didn’t even want you to wear hijab or who didn’t consider you for marriage simply because you wore hijab. How can we choose someone who doesn’t want what’s best for us? Is that person really going to protect us and care for us? Remember, marriage is half our deen, right. We want someone who will help us on the deen, not someone who will take us away from the deen.

The other thing to consider is that wearing hijaab can also make it easier to get married! When you wear hijaab, you are clearly saying " I am Muslim"...Women in your communities (those wonderful aunties) will be able to say 'Hey, I know this girl, she's definitely a Muslim, because she wear hijaab and she's..." It's easier to gain a positive reputation in your community and sisters will be SURE to mention you when they hear brothers saying they are looking for wives. This isn’t against my non-hijabi sisters who don’t wear hijab. But this is the truth. Girls who wear hijab are more often than not recommended for marriage…

In fact, I’m not married but it was only when I put the niqaab on that I got any proposals, at all. (Much to my family’s SHOCK, lol).

Well, what about point 2. Wouldn't the hijab prevent you from getting a job?

I’m not going to take a burnt piece of cake and tell you that’s chocolate icing on the bottom. I’m going to be straight with you. The hijab may and it may not prevent you from getting ‘a’ job.

The question though is, do you have trust in Allah? Do you think that He is the Compassionate? Do you think that He is the Rizaq (the one- and the Only One- who gives sustenance to all)? If so, what are you worried about? Again, I'm not saying that you will definitely get the job- let's be real, there is discrimination definitely in the workforce. But one thing you should never doubt is that you will never not get ‘rizq’ that was meant to be yours- and you’ll never get rizq that wasn’t meant to be yours, especially if you’re doing the opposite of what Allah asks.

The other fundamental thing you have to realize is that Allah is the Most Merciful and that He would never punish a person who tried to come closer to Him! It would be UNFAIR if Allah were to reward your act of obedience (putting the hijab on) by not letting you get "something good for you". Allah is NEVER not fair.

So, let’s say, you don't end up getting the dream job you wanted and the only reason you can conclude is because you put on the hijaab. Well, the logical thing we can conclude is that ‘dream job’ wasn't actually good for you’. Maybe not good for your akhirah, maybe not good for your dunya, maybe not good for both! Maybe Allah won’t give you that ‘dream job’ because He's saving you from something. Maybe if you did get that particular job, something bad could have happened to you...Maybe He’s got something even greater waiting for you…

We don't know. But what we do know is that we actually don’t know what’s good for us/and what’s not. Allah does.

I also want to remind you sis that you already do have a job. You are a ‘khalifa’ and you are also a servant of Allah. Remember, Allah said He created us for us to worship Him. That’s our primary job, right there. Do you really want to compromise that job’s rewards (being a servant of Allah) with a salary from this dunya?

Okay, fine, but what about the ‘stares’ and ‘looks’ and stuff? How does a person deal with that?

You’re going to, as the Penguins say in Madagascar (the movie, not the country- I don’t think there really are penguins in Madagascar and if there were, I don’t speak Penguin :P), just “Smile and wave”.

When you put the hijaab on, you become an ambassador for Islam. With diplomacy, respect and kindness, you answer back all those people who treat you rudely/discriminate/ and you just step back and see how amazed they will be. You may just end up inspiring someone to become Muslim. I know a lady who inspired a man to read up on Islam when she put the hijab on. That man ended up converting…can you imagine how many good deeds she has stored up because of that? Ma’shaAllah.

I don’t want you to think that I’m naïve enough though to imagine that it’s going to be easy. It’s not. But when you arm yourself with the knowledge of who Allah is, the realization that you are never alone, and you fill your heart with love for Him, wearing the hijab won’t seem as difficult. When you read the story of the sahabah, the Prophet’s Companions and what they had to endure, you’ll realize that a few ‘stares’, maybe even some ‘go back to your home country’comments are really nothing.

Remember, Sumayyah? A woman? Who decided to choose Islam and refused to give up on it…. She was the very first martyr of Islam.

That’s how tough it was back then. It was a matter of life and death. Just imagine being able to meet her in paradise and telling her how you too chose like her to stick to Allah’s way, to stick to wearing the hijab- despite the obstacles that stood in your way. Imagine meeting Khadijah Radiya Allah Anha and telling her your story.

Can you really imagine it? Close your eyes…

And get ready to take that little step. That’s all that’s needed. Yes, Shaitan does this little trick and he tells us ‘Don’t put it on cause you know you’re just going to take it off…” Just tell him- “ No, I am not. Once I start wearing the hijab (which, I’m sure you know, habibti, is more than just a head band/thing on top of the head), it’ll become a part of me, and just like how I don’t leave the house without my shoes/shirt/skirt/etc., I’m not going to leave the house anymore without my scarf/loose clothes, inshaAllah”.

You can do it, sis. You’re an A+ student, right. How about being an A+ servant? Not by simply putting a scarf over your head, but by putting Allah’s commands over your own desires and worries. Trust in Him, Believe in Him. And you can do it.

I believe in You.


Little addition: "That's not Hijab"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F4jQi0Gjy3M&feature=player_embedded#at=438
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Re: ~ Non-Veiled Wanna Be Veiled Muslimah? ~
« Reply #1 on: August 12, 2011, 11:00:28 pm »
I'd Like to share some things that I found very inspiring and beneficial =]

Here is an Article :


As salaamu alaykum warahmatuallaah wabarakatuh,

I want to talk to you about my life before and after Hijab. I am a Muslim girl 20 years old from Arabian Gulf " The original place of Islam." I used to believe that hijab is not an important issue. And it's lucking my freedom. So I decided that I would never were Hijab as long as I live. Although my mother wears Hijab but she never convinces my sisters or me to wear it. She thought that you have to believe in it to do it or else you will take it off as soon as we are far away from her. And I think that it might be right in some way.

Or it might make hijab more difficult for us when we get older. It is so hard to get used to something for your whole life and change it at once. It will take you a long time to change your mind. Any way, I used to love to show up specially that I am not bad looking at all. And that was the most difficult part. I used to love to dress up and buy expensive clothes and I loved it when every one was looking and pointing at me. I used to love it when some says "wow! She's beautiful."

After I finished my High school I decided to go to have my degree in the United States. I saw  a thing in there that I have not ever seen before. It is Muslim society and community. It's amazing society with perfect Muslims. They are practicing Islam in a different way that we got used to it. Muslims in Gulf aria have been borne Muslims. Arabs didn't have to ask any questions because every thing is obvious. We didn't have to think about faith and how to believe in God, because we were raised and every one around us is Muslim. We didn't know what's the real Islam and how does it feel to live between all different religious and a mix society. And I just realized that people in Gulf didn't practice pure religion, but they had a mixture between Islam and culture. So many things that I thought it was an Islamic terms turned out to be a culture believe. And they are absolutely wrong aspects. I learned that the pure Islam is not the one that we were raised on which is full of nonsense stuff that we had in our culture since a long time ago. The real Islam is only in Quran and Sunah.




When people in the states find out that I am Muslim, they always ask so many questions about Islam and most the time I can't find an answer to their questions. So I started to go searching and looking in Islamic books and in Internet about Islam "the real thing." I was like someone has not heard any thing about Islam before. I learned so many things that I have not knew.. I started to go to the masjid and sit with so many brothers and sisters talking and discussing Islamic matters. I swear that I have never gone to any masjid in my country or even think about it. Although we had thousands of Masjids back home. All the sisters in the masjids were wearing hijab except me. And they were all Americans except me.  And they wear all broad about it and I respected them so much for that. I started to think about it all the time.
And I started to have so many dreams about me wearing the hijab. I started to have some strange feeling towered my self; I hated it when someone was looking at me. I felt that I was only a picture without a heart or a brain. I finally decided to go for it and wear the Hijab. It was the best choice I have ever had. For the first time in my life; I felt that I am a strong person. Because  I will go for what I believe in, and I didn't care of what people think of it or how they will look at me.

First day of Hijab was the best. I never felt so good and broad in my whole life of my self as much as I felt in that day. My friends and relatives didn't believe that I could do it. And every one said that I won't keep it for too long. And that maybe one of the things that pushed me to keep it until this day. I had to go through a fight with my self. My self which always loved this life any try to enjoy it as much as I could. Now was time to say stop, and I did. After a while every one started to respect me so much that no one had treat me like that before. Every one believed in me so much because they knew that I am a religious person. And what gave them that expression? It's the Hijab. I can go every where now and no one would look at me as if I was a picture or a dummy. Never the less I still dress up good and put make up when I am with my sisters and that turned out to be more fun.

I believe that Allah demand Hijab to help us and to make our life easier. It builds respect between men and women. Also, it's a matter of  keeping your body to your self or who Allah allowed you to show (mahram). It is also a sign that show that you are Muslim, like in all religious. For example, Jewish wears a small cup on top of their heads and Christians wear a cross. And none of those two feels ashamed to show it to public.

No man would think badly about  a woman who is wearing a hijab so that will provide her to fall in mistakes (khateah) or something that is (haram). A person who can wear Hijab is strong enough to do any thing else and to go through any problems that she may face in all life matter. Every one around you will trust you in every thing because you trust your self. Don't you think your body is so important? And don't you think your body is that valuable?  You don't need some one to tell you that you're beautiful because you know that. And you don't need someone to look at you as if you were a beautiful drawing or a picture because you're a human been.

As salaamu alaykum warahmatallaah wabarakatuh.
  
(please forward this to all the people you know, I want every one to read my story)

May Allah bless you, jazakum allaah khayran
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Source :  http://www.islamicexperiences.com/2011/01/biggest-change-in-my-life-sisters-story.html#ixzz1Ur1aznBO


Here is a video that I made about Hijab I think about a month ago :

[yt=425,350]H3gR8JdEHQs[/yt]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H3gR8JdEHQs


Wearing the Hijab is ONE of the many things that I'm Grateful that Allah blessed me with <3  Alhamdulilah , inshAllah I NEVER take it off ..Ameen  :)

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« Last Edit: August 12, 2011, 11:04:16 pm by ~ Golden Girl ~ »
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Offline Romeesa-Chan

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Re: ~ Non-Veiled Wanna Be Veiled Muslimah? ~
« Reply #2 on: August 13, 2011, 12:21:43 am »
Amazing article. <3 Gave me goosebumps all over. :-[

Simply beautiful. <3

Tbh, I take Hijab as a blessing. :D Alhamdulillah.

Watched it. Awesome. ;)
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Re: ~ Non-Veiled Wanna Be Veiled Muslimah? ~
« Reply #3 on: August 13, 2011, 12:22:58 am »
Amazing article. <3 Gave me goosebumps all over. :-[

Simply beautiful. <3

Tbh, I take Hijab as a blessing. :D Alhamdulillah.

Watched it. Awesome. ;)

IKR  :-[ :-X

Alhamdulilah ... Jazaki Allah khair for watching it <3
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Offline Romeesa-Chan

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Re: ~ Non-Veiled Wanna Be Veiled Muslimah? ~
« Reply #4 on: August 13, 2011, 12:33:48 am »
IKR  :-[ :-X

Alhamdulilah ... Jazaki Allah khair for watching it <3
Hai!
I have another amazing one. I shall post tom, iA. :D

Wa jazaki. <3 God bless you for your hard work! :D
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Re: ~ Non-Veiled Wanna Be Veiled Muslimah? ~
« Reply #5 on: August 13, 2011, 12:54:19 pm »
Hai!
I have another amazing one. I shall post tom, iA. :D

Wa jazaki. <3 God bless you for your hard work! :D

Can't to read it =D

Ameen and you too :-*
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Re: ~ Non-Veiled Wanna Be Veiled Muslimah? ~
« Reply #6 on: August 14, 2011, 06:05:44 am »
        ~ A conversation for Muslim sisters ~




"I'm so tired."

"Tired of what?"

"Of all these people judging me."

"Who judged you?"

"Like that woman, every time I sit with her, she tells me to wear hijab."

"Oh, hijab and music! The mother of all topics!"

"Yeah! I listen to music without hijab... haha!"


"Maybe she was just giving you advice."

"I don't need her advice. I know my religion. Can't she mind her own business?"

"Maybe you misunderstood. She was just being nice."

"Keeping out of my business, that would be nice..."

"But it's her duty to encourage you do to good."

"Trust me. That was no encouragement. And what do you mean 'good'?"

"Well, wearing hijab, that would be a good thing to do."

"Says who?"

"It's in the Quran, isn't it?"

"Yes. She did quote me something."

"She said Surah Nur, and other places of the Quran."

"Yes, but it's not a big sin anyway. Helping people and praying is more important."

"True. But big things start with small things."

"That's a good point, but what you wear is not important. What's important is to have a good healthy heart."

"What you wear is not important?"

"That's not what I said."

"Then why do you spend an hour every morning fixing up?"

"What do you mean?"

"You spend money on cosmetics, not to mention all the time you spend on fixing your hair and low-carb dieting."

"So?"

"So, your appearance IS important."

"No. I said wearing hijab is not an important thing in religion."

"If it's not an important thing in religion, why is it mentioned in the Noble Quran?"

"You know I can't follow all that's in Quran."

"You mean God tells you something to do, you disobey and then it's OK?"

"Yes. God is forgiving."

"God is forgiving to those who repent and do not repeat their mistakes."

"Says who?"

"Says the same book that tells you to cover."

"But I don't like hijab, it limits my freedom."

"But the lotions, lipsticks, mascara and other cosmetics set you free?!
What's your definition of freedom anyway?"


"Freedom is in doing whatever you like to do."

"No. Freedom is in doing the right thing, not in doing whatever we wish to do."

"Look! I've seen so many people who don't wear hijab and are nice people, and so many who wear hijab and are bad people."

"So what? There are people who are nice to you but are alcoholic. Should we all be alcoholics? You made a stupid point."

"I don't want to be an extremist or a fanatic. I'm OK the way I am without hijab."

"Then you are a secular fanatic. An extremist in disobeying God."

"You don't get it, if I wear hijab, who would marry me?!"

"So all these people with hijab never get married?!"

"Okay! What if I get married and my husband doesn't like it? And wants me to remove it?"

"What if your husband wants you to go out with him on a bank robbery?!"

"That's irrelevant, bank robbery is a crime."

"Disobeying your Creator is not a crime?"

"But then who would hire me?"

"A company that respects people for who they are."

"Not after 9-11"

"Yes. After 9-11. Don't you know about Hanan who just got into med school?
And the other one, what was her name, the girl who always wore a white hijab... ummm..."

"Yasmin?"

"Yes. Yasmin. She just finished her MBA and is now interning for GE."

"Why do you reduce religion to a piece of cloth anyway?"

"Why do you reduce womanhood to high heels and lipstick colors?"

"You didn't answer my question."

"In fact, I did. Hijab is not just a piece of cloth. It is obeying God in a difficult environment. It is courage, faith in action, and true womanhood.
But your short sleeves, tight pants..."

"That's called 'fashion', you live in a cave or something? First of all, hijab was founded by men who wanted to control women."

"Really? I did not know men could control women by hijab."

"Yes. That's what it is."

"What about the women who fight their husbands to wear hijab? And women in France who are forced to remove their hijab by men? What do you say about that?"

"Well, that's different."

"What difference? The woman who asked you to wear hijab... she was a woman, right?"

"Right, but..."

"But fashions that are designed and promoted by male-dominated corporations set you free? Men have no control on exposing women and using them as a commodity?! Give me a break!"

"Wait, let me finish, I was saying..."

"Saying what? You think that men control women by hijab?"

"Yes."

"Specifically how?"

"By telling women how and what to wear, dummy!"

"Doesn't TV, magazines and movies tell you what to wear, and how to be 'attractive'?"

"Of course, it's fashion."

"Isn't that control? Pressuring you to wear what they want you to wear?"

[Silence]

"Not just controlling you, but also is controlling the market."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, you are told to look skinny and anorexic like that woman on the cover of the magazine, by men who design those magazines and sell those products."

"I don't get it. What does hijab have to do with products."

"It has everything to do with that. Don't you see? Hijab is a threat to consumerism, women who spend billions of dollars to look skinny and live by standards of fashion designed by men... and then here is Islam, saying trash all that nonsense and focus on your soul, not on your looks, and do not worry what men think of your looks."

"Like I don't have to buy hijab? Isn't hijab a product?"

"Yes, it is. It is a product that sets you free from male-dominated consumerism."

"Stop lecturing me! I WILL NOT WEAR HIJAB!

It is awkward, outdated, and totally not suitable for this society... Moreover, I am only 20 and too young to wear hijab!"


"Fine. Say that to your Lord, when you face Him on Judgment Day."

"Fine."

"Fine."

[Silence]

"Shut up and I don't want to hear more about hijab niqab schmijab Punjab!"

[Silence]

She stared at the mirror, tired of arguing with herself all this time.

Successful enough, she managed to shut the voices in her head, with her own opinions triumphant in victory on the matter, and a final modern decision accepted by the society - but rejected by the Faith:

"Yes!" - to curls on the hair - "No!" - To hijab!


Subhana'Allah!!!

"Nay! You prefer the life of this world; while the hereafter is better and more lasting." [Noble Quran 87:16-17]

"You are the best community (Ummah) raised up for (the benefit of) humanity; enjoining what is right and forbidding what is wrong and believing in Allah." [Noble Quran 3:110]
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Re: ~ Non-Veiled Wanna Be Veiled Muslimah? ~
« Reply #7 on: August 14, 2011, 07:46:12 am »
Masha Allah ladies, these are awesome :D

I don't have the right to judge anyone but you two are doing a wonderful job here :)

Keep it up and May Allah reward you for that :)

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Re: ~ Non-Veiled Wanna Be Veiled Muslimah? ~
« Reply #8 on: August 14, 2011, 09:59:57 am »
Masha Allah ladies, these are awesome :D

I don't have the right to judge anyone but you two are doing a wonderful job here :)

Keep it up and May Allah reward you for that :)

Thank you very much, sir. ;D

Yes. None of us has the right to judge anyone but we are obligated to guide our fellow sisters, Insha Allah. :D
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Re: ~ Non-Veiled Wanna Be Veiled Muslimah? ~
« Reply #9 on: August 14, 2011, 10:31:25 am »
Thank you very much, sir. ;D

Yes. None of us has the right to judge anyone but we are obligated to guide our fellow sisters, Insha Allah. :D

Ameen :)

Indeed, that's our duty :D

By the way no need to call me Sir :P I believe am only a few years older than you, not much ;)

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Re: ~ Non-Veiled Wanna Be Veiled Muslimah? ~
« Reply #10 on: August 14, 2011, 10:43:01 am »
Ameen :)

Indeed, that's our duty :D

By the way no need to call me Sir :P I believe am only a few years older than you, not much ;)

Indeed, it is. =]

Lol. I like to. Out of respect. :P Call can I call you senpai then ? ;D :P

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Re: ~ Non-Veiled Wanna Be Veiled Muslimah? ~
« Reply #11 on: August 14, 2011, 11:31:33 am »
Masha Allah ladies, these are awesome :D

I don't have the right to judge anyone but you two are doing a wonderful job here :)

Keep it up and May Allah reward you for that :)

Thanks bro :D

Ameen  :) , Jazak Allah Khair for reading ;)
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Re: ~ Non-Veiled Wanna Be Veiled Muslimah? ~
« Reply #12 on: August 14, 2011, 11:47:20 am »
Indeed, it is. =]

Lol. I like to. Out of respect. :P Call can I call you senpai then ? ;D :P



Hmm.......What does senpai mean?? :P Am sure it's something related to Sir, right?

Thanks bro :D

Ameen  :) , Jazak Allah Khair for reading ;)

Anytime sis :)

I hope you don't me sharing this with my friends :)

Wa jazaki :) Hope I got it right, this time  ;D

Offline The Golden Girl =D

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Re: ~ Non-Veiled Wanna Be Veiled Muslimah? ~
« Reply #13 on: August 14, 2011, 11:48:29 am »
Sure , Go ahead ;)

Indeed you did ;D MashAllah :D
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Offline Romeesa-Chan

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Re: ~ Non-Veiled Wanna Be Veiled Muslimah? ~
« Reply #14 on: August 14, 2011, 11:57:12 am »
Hmm.......What does senpai mean?? :P Am sure it's something related to Sir, right?

Anytime sis :)

I hope you don't me sharing this with my friends :)

Wa jazaki :) Hope I got it right, this time  ;D

Senpai = Used in relation to fellow classmates of higher level or age. ;D :P

Please do share them! =]

Makes me happier! :D
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