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Shoshou..Mony:
As suggested by many, this thread will include all the lessons I shared before so that others can read them easily. It'll just include the lessons but not the comments.

If you would love to comment on any of the lessons or ask any questions then you can post there >> https://studentforums.biz/morality/lesson-1-the-tongue-is-king-(must-read)/

~ Lesson 1 : The Tongue is King

Enjoy Your Life

The art of interacting with people…as deducted from a study of the Prophet Salalahu Alayhi wa Salaam’s life.

-A product of more than twenty years of research

By Sheikh Dr. Muhammad ‘Abd Al-Rahaman Al-‘Arifi

© Maktaba Dar-us-Salam, 2008

 

The Tongue is King

I was thinking about factors that cause hatred and arguments between people and make them cumbersome for each other, such that one may not even like to see or be in someone’s company, or travel with him, or even attend his wedding. I discovered that it is the tongue that causes a man to stoop to such a level. How often brothers or couples quarrel all because of verbal abuse, backbiting or insults!

When we are able to deliver our thoughts to others with beautiful manners, why then resort to horrible ones?

There was once a king who saw in a dream that all his teeth had fallen out. He called a dream-interpreter, told him what he saw in the dream, and asked him to interpret it.

When the interpreter heard the dream his complexion changed and he began to repeat, “Allah’s refuge is sought! Allah’s refuge is sought!”

The king became worried and asked, “What is the interpretation of my dream?”

The interpreter said, “After many years pass, your wife and children will die and you will be all alone in your kingdom!”

The king screamed, became furious, and began to hurl abuses and insults. He then ordered the interpreter be imprisoned and called another interpreter; related to him what he saw in the dream and asked him for its interpretation.

The dream interpreter smiled and said, “Glad tidings, dear king!”

The king said, “What is the interpretation of the dream?”

The interpreter said, “It means that you will live for very long-so long that you will be the last of your family to die, and you will remain a king your entire life.”

The king became very pleased, showered him with gifts and remained content with him whilst angry with the first dream interpreter. If you contemplate, you will realize that both of the interpretations were the same, the difference was in the way in which the interpretation was conveyed. Hence, the tongue is the master.

The Prophet Salalahu Alayhi wa Salaam said: "When the son of Adam wakes up in the morning, all of his body parts humble themselves in front of the tongue and say, 'Fear Allah with regards to our rights! Our well-being depends on you. If you remain upright, so shall we. If you become crooked, so shall we." (Ahmed and at-Tirmidhi, Hasan)

Yes, by Allah, the tongue is master. It is master as it delivers the Friday sermon. It is master as it rectifies people’s relationships. It is master as it bargains in the marketplace. It is master as it debates in a court of law.

However; this does not mean that if a person loses his tongue his life ends. Rather; those with strong determination remain heroes, no matter how many faculties they loose.

My friend, Abu ‘Abdullah, is no different to the rest of my friends, but he is-and Allah bears witness to this-the most eager from them all to do good works. He is involved in a number of daw’ah projects, including the the’wah work he does during his work. He works as a translator in an institute for the deaf and mute.

One day he called me and said, “What do you think if I bring to your mosque two men from the institute of the deaf to deliver a lecture to the people?”

I became surprised and said, “The deaf delivering a lecture to those who hear?”

He said, “Yes! Let us come this Sunday.”

I impatiently waited until Sunday. When it finally came, I stood by the door of the mosque waiting for them, until Abu ‘Abdullah arrived in his car and parked it near the main doors of the mosque. He then got out of the car along with two men.

One of them was walking next to him, whilst the other was being held by Abu ‘Abdullah and being led by his hand.

I looked at the first of them to notice that he was deaf and mute. He could not hear or speak, but he could see. I looked at the second one to notice that he was deaf, mute and blind. He could neither hear, nor speak, nor see. I stretched forth my hand and shook Abu ‘Abdullah’s hand. The man to his right-later I found out his name was Ahmad-was looking at me with a smile, so I stretched forth my hand to shake hands with him.

Abu ‘Abdullah then said to me pointing to the blind man, “Great Fayiz too.”

I said, “As-Salaamu ‘Alaykum, Fayiz!”

Abu ‘Abdullah said, “Hold his hand, as he can neither hear nor see you.”

I placed my hand in his, and he grabbed my hand firmly and shook it.

They then entered the mosque. After the prayer, Abu ‘Abdullah sat on a chair with Ahmad sitting on his right and Fayiz sitting on his left. The people were watching in amazement. They were not accustomed to a deaf person sitting on a chair and delivering a lecture!

Abu ‘Abdullah then turned to Ahmad and said something in sign language. Ahmad responded to him in sign language. The people watched but did not understand anything, so I suggested to Abu 'Abdullah that he translate what he said, as no one is able to understand sign language except the deaf or someone well-versed in sign language. Abu 'Abdullah brought the microphone close and said, "Ahamd is relating to you the story of how he was guided." He said, "I was born deaf and raised in Jeddah. My family would neither cater for me nor pay any attention to me. I used to see people going to the mosque, but I wouldn't know why! I would often notice my father laying down a prayer mat, prostrating and bowing, but I wouldn't know what he was doing. Whenever I asked my family about it, they would belittle me and never answer my questions."

Then Abu 'Abdullah became quiet and said something to Ahmad in sign language. Ahmad then continued with his speech in sign language and suddenly his complexion changed, as if he had been emotionally affected. Abu 'Abdullah lowered his head as Ahmad began to cry profusely. Many among the audience were affected by this although they had no idea why he was crying. He continued to speak in sign language until he stopped.

Abu 'Abdullah then said, "Ahmad is now relating to you the period of his life when he changed: how he came to know about Allah and prayer due to a person on the street who taught him out of pity for him, and how, when he began to pray, he felt closer to Allah by imagining the great reward awaiting him due to his condition as well as how he got to taste the sweetness of faith."

Abu 'Abdullah continued to relate the rest of his story as the people listened in amazement.

However, I was busy thinking about something else! I would look at Ahmad and then at Fayiz and say to myself, "Ahmad can see and knows sign language, which is why Abu 'Abdullah is able to communicate with him. I wonder how he is going to communicate with Fayiz knowing he can neither see, hear nor speak?"

Ahmad finished delivering his lecture and began wiping away his tears. Meanwhile, Abu 'Abdullah turned to Fayiz.

I asked myself, "What is he going to do?

Abu 'Abdullah struck Fayiz's knee with his fingers, and there he was delivering a moving lecture. Any idea how he delivered that lecture? Did he speak? How could he, for he was mute! Did he use sign language? How could he, for he was blind and have never learnt sign language! He delivered his lecture by 'touch language'.

Abu 'Abdullah, who was the translator, placed his hand between Fayiz's hands. Fayiz wold then touch his hand in particular ways by which Abu 'Abdullah knew what Fayiz was trying to say. He would then relate to us what he understood from Fayiz. Sometimes it would take up to a quarter of an hour to understand what he was trying to say.

Fayiz would then sit still, not knowing whether the translator had finished translating or not, as he was of course neither able to hear nor see. When the translator would finish speaking, he would strike Fayiz's knee once again. Fayiz would then stretch out his hands and grab hold of the translator's hand and touch it in particular ways to convey his message.

The people remained seated, watching Fayiz and the translator communicating with amazement. Fayiz was encouraging the audience to repent to Allah for their sins. He would at times hold his ears, then his tongue, and then place his hands over his eyes. We would not understand what he meant until Abu 'Abdullah translated for us. He was advising the people to guard their ears and eyes lest they fall into the forbidden. As I looked at the people, I noticed some people sigh, "SubhanAllah", others whispered to the person sitting next to them, others were watching with great interest and still others were crying.

As for me, my mind had wandered off very far indeed. I began to contemplate on the faculties Fayiz had in comparison to what the audience were blessed with, and contrasted that with Fayiz's services for the religion in comparison to that of the audience.

Surely the concern that this blind, deaf and mute person had for Islam was greater than the concern in the hearts of all the audience combined!

Although the man had a very limited number of faculties, he was exhausting himself in service to this religion. He felt as if he was a solider of Islam, responsible for anyone who sinned or fell short. He was constantly moving his hand, as if he was admonishing. For how much longer will you abandon the prayer? For how much longer will you continue to look at the Haraam? For how much longer will you continue with your disgraceful acts? For how much longer will you continue to consume Haraam? For how much longer will you continue upon Shirk? For how much longer? Is it not enough that its enemies are waging a war against our religion? Why do you have to join the war against our religion?"

The poor man's complexion would often change as he shared what he had in his heart with the audience, who were in turn greatly affected. Although I did not turn around to look at the people, I could still hear people crying and sighing "SubhanAllah!"

Fayiz eventually finished his lecture and got up, as Abu 'Abdullah held his hand. The audience came to him to greet him. I saw him greeting them and it was obvious to me that he treated everyone equally. He greeted everyone and did not distinguish between rich and poor, leaders and followers. I thought to myself that if only all people were like Fayiz!

Abu 'Abdullah took Fayiz out of the mosque. I walked by their side as they made their way to the car. I saw Fayiz and the translator joking with each other and thought to myself how insignificant this world was! How many people have not been afflicted with a quarter of Fayiz's problems, and yet they are still unable to overcome their sadness and sorrow!

How about those who have chronic illnesses, such as kidney failure, paralysis, thrombus, diabetes or other impediments? Why don't they enjoy their lives and learn to live with the reality?

How wonderful it is when Allah afflicts His servant and then looks into his heart to find that he is still thankful, pleased and yearning for his reward from Him!

Many days have passed, and yet Fayiz's picture is still embedded in my memory. If Fayiz can be so successful in life and earn the love of people being blind, mute and deaf, then how about the one who has been blessed with a tongue, sight and hearing?

Use your tongue to gain people's love!

Reality...

A man's flesh is not fit for eating nor is his skin fit for clothing-there is nothing in him except the sweetness of his tongue

Shoshou..Mony:
~ Lesson 2 : Don't kill yourself by grief

Okay, this time I made it short since the first lesson was very long. =]

I was reading a book called 'Enjoy Your Life' written by the intelligent scholar Dr.Muhammed Al-Arifi and there I learned that we, humans, shouldn't kill ourseleves with grief, for that will not lighten our troubles. How often do you see yourself complaining and others also about problems we have in our lives? Does this make us happier? Does this solve our own problems? No, it doesn't.
 
Read the following story, Dr.Abdullah had his eldest son went to a wedding party with the entire family in a nearby city, whilest he remained behind in Madinah due to his commitments at the Universaity. On the way back they were involved in a terrible road accident in which they died - all ELEVEN of them!
The Doctor was a righteous man beyond fifty years of age, but nevertheless, a human being with feelings and emotions. He had a heart in his chest, and two weeping eyes and of course a soul that became happy and sad.
When he heard the terrible news, he prayed over them and burried them with his own hands, all eleven of them.
Guests would come to his house and bring coffee along with them, as he didn't have anyone to help him prepare anyhting for them. What is amazing is that if you were to see the man receiving condolences, you would think that he was the one giving condolences, and that the one enduring this tragedy was someone else!
 
Glory be to the One who gave him patience and made him strong!
He would repeatedly say, "To Allah we belong and to Him we return. It belongs to Allah, whatever He takes or gives. Evertyhing has an appointed time with Allah."
 
This is the peak of intelligence, for if he did not behave in this manner, he would have died of grief.

Allah swt said : who, when a misfortune confronts them, say: "Surely we belong to Allah and to Him invariably we do return." These are those upon whom are blessings from their Rabb and mercy, and these are themselves the guided.
 Surah Al baqraha verse 156-157
 
Don't complain, don't be depressed, learn to live your life with what you have available because with gratitude you'd earn satisfaction and always be happy.
To all my beloved sisters and brothers, to all the depressed people who got their lives full of problems and sadness, say this dua because it acts like magic :
 
It was reported from ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Mas’ood that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No person suffers any anxiety or grief, and says:
 
‘Allaahumma innee ‘abduka wa ibn ‘abdika wa ibn amatika, naasiyati bi yadika, maadin fiyya hukmuka, ‘adlun fiyya qadaa’uka, as’aluka bi kulli ismin huwa laka sammayta bihi nafsaka aw anzaltahu fi kitaabika aw ‘allamtahu ahadan min khalqika aw ista’tharta bihi fi ‘ilm il-ghaybi ‘andak an taj’ala al-Qur’aana rabee’ qalbi wa noor sadri wa jalaa’a huzni wa dhahaaba hammi
 http://www.makedua.com/display_dua.php?sectionid=34
 
Let's start being happy from now! =]

Shoshou..Mony:
~ Lesson 3: Don't sweat the small stuff



I woke up early today, excited about all I get to do before the clock strikes the midnight. I have responsibilities to fulfill today. My job is to choose what kind of day i'm going to have.

I can complain because the weather is rainy or I can be thankful that the grass is getting watered for free. Today, I can feel sad that I dont have more money, or be glad taht my finances encourage me to plan my purchases wisely guide me away from waste. Today I ca grumble about my health, or I can rejoice that I am alive. Today I can lament over all my parents didn't give me when I was a child, or I can be grateful that they allowed me to born.

Today I can cry because roses have thorns, or I can celebrate that thorns have roses. Today, I can whinde because I have a job, or I can shout for joy because I have a job to do! Today I can complain because I have to go to school, or I can eagerly open my mind and fill it with new tidbits of knowledge.

Today I can murmur dejectedly because I have to do housework, or I can feel honored because the Lord has provided shelter for my mind and soul. Today stretches ahead of me waiting to be shaped and here I'am the sculptor who gets to do the shaping. Whats today will be like is up to me. I get to choose what kind of day I will have. ~ Richard Carlson

So, why choose the path of complaint over the path of gratitude? Being grateful or being overextended~ Dont sweat the small stuff, please!!

"And this life of the world is only amusement and play! Verily, the home of the Hereafter, that is the life indeed (i.e. the eternal life that will never end), if they knew"

(Al-Ankabut:64)

Prophet Muhammed(pbuh) said, "Look at the people who are below you and do not look at the people who are above you, so that you do not be greedy or ungrateful of Allah Blessings."

Shoshou..Mony:
~ Lesson 4: Do not judge



Another good lesson I came across when I was in the airport waiting for the airplane and I must say the final quote under ART made me realize a lot... really a lot.

"Most of the people with whom we mix, no matter how evil they may be, will always have some good in them, even if it be relatively little. In such cases, if we are able to access their good qualities, then that is for the best.

A criminal may be known for climbing over into people’s houses and stealing their property in order to give some of it to the destitute and the orphans, or even to build mosques therewith! Likewise a woman may see some orphans starving, so she fornicates to earn some money to stave their hunger, or a person carrying a knife to stab someone, then he sees a child or a woman, and his heart melts so he drops the knife! Therefore, you should deal with the people in accordance with what you know of good from them, before thinking badly of them. Our beloved Prophet, Muhammad PBUH was known for his character of making excuses for those who err, and thinking good of those who sin. When he would come across a sinful person, he would first look at the aspects of his faith, then look at the aspects of his whims and disobedience. He would not have bad thoughts about anyone. He would treat them all as his own sons and brothers.

When you deal with people, be just. Remember the good that they have, and make them feel that their evil has not made you forget their good. This will bring them closer to you."

Art…
Before you begin to uproot the ‘tree of evil’ in others, look for the ‘tree of good’ and water it…

Written by : Dr.Mohammed AlArifi

Shoshou..Mony:
~ Lesson 5: Temptations



I read about a young Muslim in Britain who came across an advertisement by a company looking for escorts. He went to the interview to find a group of young men comprised of Muslims and non-Muslims. The interviewees were entering into the interview room one after the other, and every time a person would come out, those waiting outside would ask, “What did they ask you? What did you say?”

One of the important questions they asked the interviewees was, “How much alcohol do you drink a day?” When the young man’s turn came, h entered and began to answer their questions. During the session, they asked the same question.

The young man thought to himself that perhaps he should lie and say that he drinks alcohol like the rest of the young men, just so that they would not think that he was a strict Muslim. He also contemplated speaking the truth and saying, “I am a Muslim and Allah has forbidden me from drinking alcohol. Therefore, I do not drink.”
After some quick thinking, he decided to speak the truth. Thus, he said, “I do not drink.”
They said, “Why? Are you ill?”
He said, “No, but rather because I am a Muslim and alcohol
is forbidden for me.”
They said, “Meaning, you don’t drink? Even on the weekends?”
He said, “Yes. I do not drink at all.”

They looked at each other in surprise. When the results were published, his name was top of the list! He began to work with them and several months passed. One day, he spoke to one of the interviewers and asked him, “Why did you ask questions about alcohol consumption?”

He said, “Because the job is to do with escorting, and every time we have employed a young man, we would be surprised to discover that he drank and got drunk. When we realised that you do not drink, we knew that we got the person we were looking for, and hence we employed you!”

How wonderful it is to stick to your principles, despite temptations! The problem is that we live in a society where it is difficult to find those who stick to their principles – people who live and die for them, those who rigidly adhere to them in the face of temptations.

If you follow the right method and adhere to the straight path, then those who believe in different principles will never leave you alone. Whenever you refuse a bribe, the friends who are attempting to bribe you are angered. Whenever you refuse to indulge in illicit sexual relations, those who do indulge in them will become upset with you.

It is related that ‘Umar bin al-Khattab – may Allah be pleased with him – was once on a night patrol. He passed by a house in the darkest part of the night and heard the people therein laughing and fooling around as if they were drunk. He did not wish to knock at their door at night and feared he might have wrongly assumed that they were drunk. He therefore wished to ascertain the matter. He therefore took a piece of coal, made a mark on the door, and left. The owner of the house heard something at the door, so he went out and noticed the mark. He looked up to see the back of ‘Umar and understood what had happened. What he should have done was to wipe out the mark and that would have been the end of the matter. But he didn’t do that. Instead, he took the piece of coal and went to his neighbours’ houses, leaving marks on their doors! It was as if he wanted the people to be as base as him by being drunk like him, instead of wanting to raise himself to their level!

There is an idiom which says, “A fornicating woman wishes that all women fornicated like her.” Sometimes you may find that a wife habitually lies to her husband. She has been cultured to be a habitual liar from a very young age. When she comes across someone who criticises her for that and advises her to speak the truth, she will try to drag her to her side of the fence. She would insist, “This is all you can do with men! You cannot live with them except by lying to them.” Some women listening to this may begin to give up their principles and change while others may remain firm on their principles.

A grocer, for example, may not sell cigarettes, but then his friend comes to him and advises him to sell cigarettes to increase his profits and puts doubts in his mind to convince him of his opinion. Be brave and stick to your principles. Say in a loud voice, “Never! No matter what the temptations!”
In the past, some disbelievers tried to make the Messenger of Allah pbuh give up some of his principles, and hence, Allah said, “They wish that you compromise, so they too can compromise.”

Meaning, that the disbelievers who worship idols have no principles to adhere to, and hence, they see no difficulty in giving anything up. So be wary of them ever tempting you to lose grip of your principles.

Methodology
Allah says, “Do not obey those who reject the truth. They
wish that you compromise, so they too can compromise.”

Written By : Dr.Muhammed Al-Arifi

You have your OWN principles, you have your OWN beliefs and you have your STRONG personality, so you do NOT get affected by the people around you. You are the one who have an influence on them because they are weak but you are NOT weak. You are strong enough to say NO to those who offer you a cigirattes or ask you to join them in the forbidden.

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