1)A linguistics professor was lecturing his class one day.
'In English', he said, 'A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative.'
A loud voice from the back of the room piped up, 'Yeah, right.'
2)Two lawyers arrive at the pub and ordered a couple of drinks. They then take sandwiches from their briefcases and began to eat.
Seeing this, the angry publican approaches them and says, 'Excuse me, but you cannot eat your own sandwiches in here!'
The two look at each other, shrug and exchange sandwiches.
3)A chemistry professor couldn't resist interjecting a little philosophy into a class lecture. He interrupted his discussion on balancing chemical equations, saying, "Remember, if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate!"
EXPLANATION:- A solution in chemistry is a liquid containing dissolved substances. Precipitates are solid particles in a solution that arise as a result of a chemical reaction. The sentence makes perfect sense because precipitates in a liquid are not considered part of a solution because they are not dissolved.
4)When a third grader was asked to cite Newton's first law, she said, "Bodies in motion remain in motion, and bodies at rest stay in bed unless their mothers call them to get up."
EXPLANATION:-Newton's first law states that a body in motion remains in motion and a body at rest remains at rest unless acted upon by an unbalanced force.
5)Q: What is the name of the first electricity detective?
A: Sherlock Ohms
EXPLANATION:-The symbol for an ohm (a unit of electrical resistance) is the Greek symbol omega. A coulomb (pronounced "cool ohm") is a unit of charge.
6)What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers? Mechanical Engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers build targets.
7)An onion can make people cry but there has never been a vegetable invented to make them laugh. ~ Will Rogers:-Not a joke.
8)During an exam, a police recruit was asked what he would do if his job required him to arrest his own mother. His response was, "Call for backup."
Will get more and EDIT this post. For now, smile with this much if you can.
Don't forget to smile, Never learn to CRY!
