Author Topic: MUST READ THIS!! LMAO!!  (Read 8762 times)

AL*Eagle

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MUST READ THIS!! LMAO!!
« on: May 30, 2009, 10:49:32 am »
ok, I got this of a webstie.. I hope admins and mods wont lock this topic! PLZ DONT ( read it all then decide) k :P

DO NOT SKIP!! READ ALL!! and i promise u wont regret it!! PROMISE!

FUNNY AS HELL!!!!

so this one is talking about a girls first time:

As you lie back your muscles tighten. You put him off for a while searching for an excuse, but he refuses to be swayed as he approaches you.

He asks if you're afraid and you shake your head bravely. He has had more experience, but it's the first time his finger has found the right place.

He probes deeply and you shiver; your body tenses; but he's gentle like he promised he'd be.

He looks deeply within your eyes and tells you to trust him-he's done this many times before.

His cool smile relaxes you and you open wider to give him more room for an ease entrance. You begin to plead and beg him to hurry, but he slowly takes his time, wanting to cause you as little pain as possible. As he presses closer, going deeper, you feel the tissue give way; pain surges throughout your body and you feel the slight trickle of blood as he continues. He looks at you concerned and asks you if it's too painful. Your eyes are filled with tears but you shake your head and nod for him to go on. He begins going in and out with skill but you are now too numb to feel him within you.

After a few moments, you feel something bursting within you and he pulls it out of you, you lay panting, glad to have it over. He looks at you and smiling warmly, tells you, with a chuckle; that you have been his most stubborn yet most rewarding experience.

You smile and thank your dentist. After all, it was your first time to have a tooth pulled.   :P :P ;)



hahahaha!! ya'll are dirty minded ppl :D! ok..

no this one is funny as ****!!! :

During the Great Depression, there was a man who walked into a bar one day. He went up to the bartender and said, "Bartender, I'd like to buy the house a round of drinks."

The bartender said, "That's fine, but we're in the middle of the Depression, so I'll need to see some money first."

The guy pulled out a huge wad of bills and set them on the bar. The bartender can't believe what he's seeing. "Where did you get all that money?" asked the bartender.

"I'm a professional gambler," replied the man.

The bartender said, "There's no such thing! I mean, your odds are fifty-fifty at best, right?"

"Well, I only bet on sure things," said the guy.

"Like what?" asked the bartender.

"Well, for example, I'll bet you fifty dollars that I can bite my right eye," he said.

The bartender thought about it. "Okay," he said.

So, the guy pulled out his false right eye and bit it. "Aw, you screwed me," said the bartender, and paid the guy his $50.

"I'll give you another chance. I'll bet you another fifty dollars that I can bite my left eye," said the stranger.

The bartender thought again and said, "Well, I know you're not blind, I mean, I watched you walk in here. I'll take that bet." So, the guy pulled out his false teeth and bit his left eye.

"Aw, you screwed me again!" protested the bartender.

"That's how I win so much money, bartender. I'll just take a bottle of your best scotch in lieu of the fifty dollars," said the man.

With that, the guy went to the back room and spent the better part of the night playing cards with some of the locals. After many hours of drinking and card playing, he stumbled up to the bar. Drunk as a skunk, he said, "Bartender, I'll give you one last chance. I'll bet you five hundred dollars that I can stand on this bar on one foot and piss into that whiskey bottle on that shelf behind you without spilling a drop."

The bartender once again pondered the bet. The guy couldn't even stand up straight on two feet, much less one. "Okay, you're on," he said.

The guy climbed up on the bar, stood on one leg, and began pissing all over the place. He hit the bar, the bartender, himself, but not a drop made it into the whiskey bottle.

The bartender was ecstatic. Laughing, the bartender said, "Hey pal, you owe me five hundred dollars!"

The guy climbed down off the bar and said, "That's okay. I just bet each of the guys in the card room a thousand bucks each that I could piss all over you and the bar and still make you laugh!"



ok I hope I gave you guys a lil fun before going bak for studying >:( ,
AL*Eagle


« Last Edit: May 31, 2009, 12:35:06 pm by AL*Eagle »

Q80BOY

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Re: MUST READ THIS!! LOL!!
« Reply #1 on: May 30, 2009, 10:53:07 am »
haha, liked them  ;)

Offline reishamix

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Re: MUST READ THIS!! LOL!!
« Reply #2 on: May 30, 2009, 10:56:46 am »
LMAO!!

Offline saifalan

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Re: MUST READ THIS!! LOL!!
« Reply #3 on: May 30, 2009, 11:04:05 am »
Very innovative thinking. I guess i have to try that pissing trick once.
Why so seroisee ??

zara

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Re: MUST READ THIS!! LOL!!
« Reply #4 on: May 30, 2009, 11:04:58 am »
hahahahah!!!!

soooo fuunnnyyyy!!!

goodnesss the first one reallii caught m breath!!!!
2nd one tooo good.... :D

hahahha......lolllllzzzzzzz
« Last Edit: May 30, 2009, 11:06:42 am by zara »

Monica

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Re: MUST READ THIS!! LOL!!
« Reply #5 on: May 30, 2009, 11:53:56 am »
OH MY GOD!! i was about to die while readin the first one!! hahahahahahahaha, its really funny!!

hey u should post this in the jokes thread not here!!lol!! its ok but its really funny!!haha!!

panther

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Re: MUST READ THIS!! LOL!!
« Reply #6 on: May 30, 2009, 11:59:20 am »
I knew it from the beginning tht it was the dentist. i mean wht else can it b? :P

Q80BOY

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Re: MUST READ THIS!! LOL!!
« Reply #7 on: May 30, 2009, 12:00:28 pm »
oh panther, u have a very clean mind, lol  :P

Offline X Abdulrahman X

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Re: MUST READ THIS!! LOL!!
« Reply #8 on: May 30, 2009, 12:23:02 pm »
hahahahaha we all are dirty ^_^
When they talk about me they say I be trippin
What they say about me doesn't make me mad 
I think they hatin cause they see me when I'm rollin
Man I can't help it that they really doin bad  =P

Big cars, Big wheels, Big chains, Big pimpin', Big money, Big Dreams ;-)

AL*Eagle

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Re: MUST READ THIS!! LOL!!
« Reply #9 on: May 30, 2009, 12:40:47 pm »
i know i know!! ya'll are VERY innocent aren't u?
lmao!

Offline emi

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Re: MUST READ THIS!! LOL!!
« Reply #10 on: May 30, 2009, 01:30:15 pm »
lol that was funny ,, my bad i read replies first

former member

Offline shooting_star

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Re: MUST READ THIS!! LOL!!
« Reply #11 on: May 30, 2009, 08:04:37 pm »
HAHAHAHAHA  ;D

LoL nice way to get ur mind off studies for a while  ;) !!

thnxxx for makin us all have a good laugh durin these tough days of exams  :D

AL*Eagle

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Re: MUST READ THIS!! LOL!!
« Reply #12 on: May 30, 2009, 08:37:23 pm »
HAHAHAHAHA  ;D

LoL nice way to get ur mind off studies for a while  ;) !!

thnxxx for makin us all have a good laugh durin these tough days of exams  :D

well, just dont drift far away with ur "Clean" minds :P jk

anytime..

Offline Ukhti-R

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Re: MUST READ THIS!! LMAO!!
« Reply #13 on: June 01, 2009, 02:35:10 pm »
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...!!!

OMG THT FREAAAAAKED ME OUT :P :P :P :P :P
"...And whosoever fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a a way for him to get out (from every difficulty). And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine. And whosoever puts his trust in Allah, then He will suffice him." [65: 2-3]

Offline twilight

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Re: MUST READ THIS!! LMAO!!
« Reply #14 on: June 02, 2009, 09:11:54 am »
shishhhhhh  :D .. wen i was reading the 1st i started cursing .. and then i LMAO  :D
omg .. ppl clean ur minds
Words and hearts should be handled with care
For words mis-spoken and hearts when broken are the hardest things to repair