IGCSE/GCSE/O & A Level/IB/University Student Forum

Qualification => Others => TOEFL and IELTS => Topic started by: ~ A.F ~ on April 23, 2010, 09:30:22 pm

Title: ANY BODY! HELP NEEDED IMMEDIATELY! ANYBODY CAN HELP!
Post by: ~ A.F ~ on April 23, 2010, 09:30:22 pm
Hey guys,

My TOEFL test is tomorrow, and this is the first/ only essay I have written.  ;D lol

There might be loadz of typing errors as i didnt revise ;D

So basically, all I need is honest reviews and suggestions!

Thanks Everybody|!
Title: Re: ANY BODY! HELP NEEDED IMMEDIATELY! ANYBODY CAN HELP!
Post by: astarmathsandphysics on April 23, 2010, 09:48:44 pm
If I knew anything about the TOEFL...
Title: Re: ANY BODY! HELP NEEDED IMMEDIATELY! ANYBODY CAN HELP!
Post by: ~ A.F ~ on April 23, 2010, 09:49:47 pm
LOL this is just a normal essay

but thanks anyways sir!
Title: Re: ANY BODY! HELP NEEDED IMMEDIATELY! ANYBODY CAN HELP!
Post by: T.Q on April 24, 2010, 12:09:30 am
gd essay & gd luck  :)
Title: Re: ANY BODY! HELP NEEDED IMMEDIATELY! ANYBODY CAN HELP!
Post by: ~ A.F ~ on April 24, 2010, 07:13:49 am
Thanks T.Q :D

Off to my exams now  :-X

Pray for me guys  :-X
Title: Re: ANY BODY! HELP NEEDED IMMEDIATELY! ANYBODY CAN HELP!
Post by: nid404 on April 24, 2010, 07:14:54 am
Good Luck! :)

You'll do well...
Title: Re: ANY BODY! HELP NEEDED IMMEDIATELY! ANYBODY CAN HELP!
Post by: Q80BOY on April 24, 2010, 07:41:46 am
best of luck Amr!!  ;)
Title: Re: ANY BODY! HELP NEEDED IMMEDIATELY! ANYBODY CAN HELP!
Post by: The Golden Girl =D on April 24, 2010, 09:37:38 am
gd luck  ;D
Title: Re: ANY BODY! HELP NEEDED IMMEDIATELY! ANYBODY CAN HELP!
Post by: ~ A.F ~ on April 24, 2010, 02:42:05 pm
Thanks Everybody! :D

Did awesome ;D ;D
Title: Re: ANY BODY! HELP NEEDED IMMEDIATELY! ANYBODY CAN HELP!
Post by: Nobody on April 24, 2010, 02:54:22 pm
oh!..you finished your exam...
Sorry to late to say best of luck.. :( :(

so..how was it?
Title: Re: ANY BODY! HELP NEEDED IMMEDIATELY! ANYBODY CAN HELP!
Post by: ~ A.F ~ on April 24, 2010, 02:56:27 pm
oh!..you finished your exam...
Sorry to late to say best of luck.. :( :(

so..how was it?


lol its ok mate ;D

I did great! :D but it was so friggin boring! 5 hours! I have a swollen butt now :P lol
Title: Re: ANY BODY! HELP NEEDED IMMEDIATELY! ANYBODY CAN HELP!
Post by: Alpha on April 24, 2010, 03:15:09 pm
Oops... I think am late, sorry.  :-\

two groups; supporters and opposers.

Should use a colon : here. You are stating the two groups.

ridiculous, due to a myriad number of reasons.

No need for a comma (,). It gives the reader the impression smth is missing here, don't use the comma.

However, those who are in favor of this proposal, argue that smokers’ supports and arbitrary.


are* arbitrary?

who are in favor of banning smoke

smoking*?



Those who believe that this idea is will not affect the environment provided un-proved


That's quite confusing...


But the question remains; will ay party be convinced with the other’s thoughts?


Typo: any*

Suggestion:

You could end with a quote for a title like this. A good quotation will make your essay imposing. And will be stuck in the readers' mind for days...

For example, I had read something like this on the net:

"Smoking in a public place is like allowing a peeing section area in a swimming pool. It stinks! Would you swim there?"

"A cigarette is a tube with a fire at one end, and a fool at the other."

And there are many others... I fail to remember them all now. Just search for Smoking Quotes online.  ;)



Title: Re: ANY BODY! HELP NEEDED IMMEDIATELY! ANYBODY CAN HELP!
Post by: ~ A.F ~ on April 24, 2010, 04:29:42 pm
thn alot but i guess ure a bit late :P ;D

but really app ur help :D
Title: Re: ANY BODY! HELP NEEDED IMMEDIATELY! ANYBODY CAN HELP!
Post by: Alpha on April 24, 2010, 04:38:12 pm
Welcome...  :)

And sorry for the belated answer. I wish I were here earlier, maybe could have helped effectively.

Sorry again.
Title: Re: ANY BODY! HELP NEEDED IMMEDIATELY! ANYBODY CAN HELP!
Post by: ~ A.F ~ on April 24, 2010, 09:57:11 pm
No really thank you alpha!

You are awesome! :D

+rep.
Title: Re: ANY BODY! HELP NEEDED IMMEDIATELY! ANYBODY CAN HELP!
Post by: Alpha on April 25, 2010, 11:16:02 am
You're welcome.  :)

Hehe, but one thing... I wouldn't say you used a dictionary to write this essay. 99%, I would say, you used a thesaurus.  ::)  ;)
Title: Re: ANY BODY! HELP NEEDED IMMEDIATELY! ANYBODY CAN HELP!
Post by: ~ A.F ~ on April 25, 2010, 11:30:19 am
loooool I assure you I used nothing but my astounding, glittering brain :P :P
Title: Re: ANY BODY! HELP NEEDED IMMEDIATELY! ANYBODY CAN HELP!
Post by: Alpha on April 25, 2010, 12:43:45 pm
I got no assurance.  :P
Title: Re: ANY BODY! HELP NEEDED IMMEDIATELY! ANYBODY CAN HELP!
Post by: ~ A.F ~ on April 25, 2010, 12:46:14 pm
hahaha
Title: Re: ANY BODY! HELP NEEDED IMMEDIATELY! ANYBODY CAN HELP!
Post by: Alpha on April 25, 2010, 12:57:38 pm
You know, am not a teacher... but still, am not a fool.  ;)
Title: Re: ANY BODY! HELP NEEDED IMMEDIATELY! ANYBODY CAN HELP!
Post by: ~ A.F ~ on April 25, 2010, 01:00:58 pm
lool I swaer I did it on my own  >:( >:( >:(

I have good vocab  >:( >:( >:(

Why so sure Alpha?  >:( lol
Title: Re: ANY BODY! HELP NEEDED IMMEDIATELY! ANYBODY CAN HELP!
Post by: Alpha on April 25, 2010, 01:13:54 pm
Ah okay... Cool.   :)

Just noticed you did what most students tend to do: use far-fetched words to convey ideas that could have been explained better simply.

I didn't mean to offend. I was just trying to make you spill out the beans.  ;)
Title: Re: ANY BODY! HELP NEEDED IMMEDIATELY! ANYBODY CAN HELP!
Post by: nid404 on April 25, 2010, 01:15:23 pm
 A.F is furious. :o :o :P
Title: Re: ANY BODY! HELP NEEDED IMMEDIATELY! ANYBODY CAN HELP!
Post by: ~ A.F ~ on April 25, 2010, 01:18:21 pm
 >:( >:( >:( lool no um not :P

A.F was just kinda confused why alpha was so sure :P lol

everything's cool now  8) ;D
Title: Re: ANY BODY! HELP NEEDED IMMEDIATELY! ANYBODY CAN HELP!
Post by: Alpha on April 25, 2010, 01:41:50 pm
Thank you...  ;)

For not minding Alpha.  :D

By the way, A. F. your picture is very nice. Formal. I read in one the threads SF was trying to find a logo. Time fails me, else would have helped.

But the picture you have is quite formal, the kind of appropriate logos. With a symbolic picture, you people will be able to get one perfectly reflecting the reason of the site's existence.


Just remember one thing:

Your logo should SPEAK.  ;)
Title: Re: ANY BODY! HELP NEEDED IMMEDIATELY! ANYBODY CAN HELP!
Post by: SGVaibhav on April 25, 2010, 03:12:00 pm
i remember giving toefl.......
one of my worst 5hours of my life :P
ANNOYING :@
the headphones made my ears pain too..
something was wrong with my paper, and i had like more than 5 listening units / tapes..
lol, i was trying to go slow in listening and reading, so that i can hear what others are speaking in speaking, so i get the idea of the question before i see it......
i went soo slow that i was the last one to leave and i did not get any idea of speaking also by doing that.....
Title: Re: ANY BODY! HELP NEEDED IMMEDIATELY! ANYBODY CAN HELP!
Post by: ~ A.F ~ on April 25, 2010, 05:53:21 pm
haha true! the headphones were so annoying!  >:( lol :P