IGCSE/GCSE/O & A Level/IB/University Student Forum
General Chat NEW! The Student Forums Chatroom => Funnies => Topic started by: Ukhti-R on June 05, 2010, 06:31:19 pm
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Wife: 'What are you doing?'
Husband: Nothing.
Wife : 'Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.'
Husband: 'I was looking for the expiry date.'
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Wife : 'Do you want dinner?'
Husband: 'Sure! What are my choices?'
Wife: 'Yes or no.'
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Girl: 'When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.'
Boy: 'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.'
Girl: 'Well that's because we aren't married yet.'
-------------------
Son: 'Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.'
Mom: 'Well, you have done the right thing.'
Son: 'But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.'
------------------------------------
A newly married man asked his wife, 'Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?'
'Honey,' the woman replied sweetly, 'I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!'
-------------------------------------
Husbands are husbands
A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him round the
Head with a frying pan.
'What was that for?' the man asked.
The wife replied 'That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on
It that I found in your pants pocket'.
The man then said 'When I was at the races last week Jenny was the name
Of the horse I bet on'
The wife apologized and went on with the housework.
Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the
Head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious.
Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again.
Wife replied. 'Your horse phoned'
LAWWWWLL ::) :P
-
Wife: 'What are you doing?'
Husband: Nothing.
Wife : 'Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.'
Husband: 'I was looking for the expiry date.'
---------------------
Wife : 'Do you want dinner?'
Husband: 'Sure! What are my choices?'
Wife: 'Yes or no.'
-------------------
Girl: 'When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.'
Boy: 'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.'
Girl: 'Well that's because we aren't married yet.'
-------------------
Son: 'Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.'
Mom: 'Well, you have done the right thing.'
Son: 'But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.'
------------------------------------
A newly married man asked his wife, 'Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?'
'Honey,' the woman replied sweetly, 'I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!'
-------------------------------------
Husbands are husbands
A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him round the
Head with a frying pan.
'What was that for?' the man asked.
The wife replied 'That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on
It that I found in your pants pocket'.
The man then said 'When I was at the races last week Jenny was the name
Of the horse I bet on'
The wife apologized and went on with the housework.
Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the
Head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious.
Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again.
Wife replied. 'Your horse phoned'
LAWWWWLL ::) :P
LOL :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
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Women ::) :P
-
Women ::) :P
I know. We're just too cool 8) :P
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Women ::) :P
huh? ::)
@Roxy- Classic ;) :D :D LMAO!
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I guess I read the same jokes somewhere ::) ::) :P
I got a document of 142 jokes, which contains all of these. They are funny :D :D
nice of you to share.. I almost had forgotten the doc.
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ducks.... ::)
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ducks.... ::)
;D
(not a spam) :P
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omg.....ur sooo damn hilarious roxy :D :D
specially da son 1 n da last one ---u made my day roxy :D
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omg.....ur sooo damn hilarious roxy :D :D
specially da son 1 n da last one ---u made my day roxy :D
ahahah!
<3
Awww. I miss youuu <3 (:
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Wife: 'What are you doing?'
Husband: Nothing.
Wife : 'Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.'
Husband: 'I was looking for the expiry date.'
---------------------
Wife : 'Do you want dinner?'
Husband: 'Sure! What are my choices?'
Wife: 'Yes or no.'
-------------------
Girl: 'When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.'
Boy: 'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.'
Girl: 'Well that's because we aren't married yet.'
-------------------
Son: 'Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.'
Mom: 'Well, you have done the right thing.'
Son: 'But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.'
------------------------------------
A newly married man asked his wife, 'Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?'
'Honey,' the woman replied sweetly, 'I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!'
-------------------------------------
Husbands are husbands
A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him round the
Head with a frying pan.
'What was that for?' the man asked.
The wife replied 'That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on
It that I found in your pants pocket'.
The man then said 'When I was at the races last week Jenny was the name
Of the horse I bet on'
The wife apologized and went on with the housework.
Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the
Head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious.
Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again.
Wife replied. 'Your horse phoned'
LAWWWWLL ::) :P
hahahahaha... :D :D :D
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5 more ;D
Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Darling : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Darling : Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem Can there be greater than this one?
..
Its funny when people discuss over "love marriage" and "arranged marriage"
It is like asking a person if he would like to "hang himself" or "shoot himself".
..
Q - What is the Difference Between Mother & Wife ?
A - One Woman Brings you into this world crying... & the other ensures you continue to do so.
..
They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage it is self-defense.
..
Interviewer to Millionaire: "To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire? "
Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."
Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman."
Interviewer: "What were you before you married her?"
Millionaire: "A Billionaire"
..
LOL :P
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5 more ;D
Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Darling : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Darling : Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem Can there be greater than this one?
..
Its funny when people discuss over "love marriage" and "arranged marriage"
It is like asking a person if he would like to "hang himself" or "shoot himself".
..
Q - What is the Difference Between Mother & Wife ?
A - One Woman Brings you into this world crying... & the other ensures you continue to do so.
..
They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage it is self-defense.
..
Interviewer to Millionaire: "To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire? "
Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."
Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman."
Interviewer: "What were you before you married her?"
Millionaire: "A Billionaire"
..
LOL :P
ahahahahahahaha....
the last one was hilarious. :D :D :D
-
5 more ;D
Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Darling : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Darling : Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem Can there be greater than this one?
..
Its funny when people discuss over "love marriage" and "arranged marriage"
It is like asking a person if he would like to "hang himself" or "shoot himself".
..
Q - What is the Difference Between Mother & Wife ?
A - One Woman Brings you into this world crying... & the other ensures you continue to do so.
..
They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage it is self-defense.
..
Interviewer to Millionaire: "To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire? "
Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."
Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman."
Interviewer: "What were you before you married her?"
Millionaire: "A Billionaire"
..
LOL :P
LOOOOL :D :D :D
-
5 more ;D
Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Darling : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Darling : Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem Can there be greater than this one?
..
Its funny when people discuss over "love marriage" and "arranged marriage"
It is like asking a person if he would like to "hang himself" or "shoot himself".
..
Q - What is the Difference Between Mother & Wife ?
A - One Woman Brings you into this world crying... & the other ensures you continue to do so.
..
They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage it is self-defense.
..
Interviewer to Millionaire: "To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire? "
Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."
Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman."
Interviewer: "What were you before you married her?"
Millionaire: "A Billionaire"
..
LOL :P
Cool :D
People will hear marriage sound like "bomb". :D