IGCSE/GCSE/O & A Level/IB/University Student Forum
General Chat NEW! The Student Forums Chatroom => Funnies => Topic started by: $tyli$h Executive on May 03, 2010, 02:22:51 pm
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The market may be bad, but I slept like a baby last night. I woke up every hour and cried.
What's the difference between buying a lottery ticket and buying a penny stock? In the first case, you help finance your local community swimming pool. In the second case, you help finance the stock promoters home pool.
My broker and I are working on a retirement plan. Unfortunately, it's his!
A long term investment is a short term investment that failed.
A stockbroker is someone who invests your money till it's all gone!
It was so cold today I saw a stockbroker with his hands in his own pockets.
A market analyst is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today!
I'm thinking of leaving my husband, complained the broker's wife. "All he ever does is stand at the end of the bed and tell me how good things are going to be."
Momentum Investing: The fine art of buying high and selling low.
Value Investing: The art of buying low and selling lower
More to come!!!
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lol :D
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hahahaha...really nice jokes!
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Yeah, good ones. :D
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haha great ones .. emailing them to my cousin .. he's a stock broker :P
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Trading online is just great. I find it really speeds things up.I now get my margin calls 5x faster than before
There are primarily 3 different types of investors who post on the message boards.1. Those who don't know anything: approx. 10%2. Those who know a little: approx. 10%3. Those who don't realize they don't know anything: approx. 80%
The Walton's invited their new neighbors over to dinner.During dinner Mr.Walton was asked what he did for a living. Eight years old Brian Walton jumped in and said, "Daddy is a fisherman!"To which Mrs. Walton replied, "Brian, why do say that. Your daddy is a stockbroker, not a fisherman.""No mom. Everytime we visit dad at work and he hangs up the phone he laughs, rubs his hands together and says 'I just caught another fish'."
Stockbroker's creed: A man is a client until proven broke.
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Who are brokers?
They are this people who helps you to buy, sell and manage your stock investment
needs. They are usually the one who made people broke